JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, AUGUST 13, 2012 – A TRIBUTE TO AN ALZHEIMER SPOUSE

There is a sisterhood/brotherhood among Alzheimer Spouses that lasts forever. When someone has been through the experience of losing a spouse to Alzheimer Disease, their understanding and support for others traveling the same road never leaves them. Once they have become part of the group to which no one seeks to belong, their bonds are unbreakable.

I had the privilege of knowing such a woman – she was my sister’s mother-in-law, and she passed away last week on her 80th birthday from multiple health issues. During the 34 years my sister has been married, I have crossed paths with V. a number of times at weddings and graduations. But it was during the first Thanksgiving we spent in Chicago at my sister’s house in 2008, that V. and I shared the Alzheimer Spouse bond. Her husband lost his battle with Alzheimer’s Disease in 2001, and when she saw Sid that November, she took me aside, and we talked. And talked. And talked. And talked.  She shared experiences and confidences with me that made me feel comforted and at ease. She understood like no one else. All of my family members are supportive of me, but her support came from the knowledge, pain, and experience of being an Alzheimer Spouse herself.

Here on this website, we give each other support and information all of the time. We appreciate that each of us understands the path the other is traveling. I benefit from that support as much as you do, but there was something extra special about receiving face to face understanding from a family member who had been through the Alzheimer fire and survived. She was a kind, warm embrace in the cold swirl of Alzheimer’s Disease. I will forever be grateful to her for that, and I will miss her.

When my Alzheimer journey is ended, I want out of the Alzheimer world. I want to live a normal life with people who are cognitively intact; with people I do not have to converse with in short, simple sentences; with people who can discuss issues of the day with clear comprehension. But I also want to take a lesson from V. and be a voice of support when another Alzheimer Spouse needs comfort and understanding. The Alzheimer Sisterhood/Brotherhood is made of strong bonds that I hope to honor as she did.

RECENT BLOGS:

Best Friends Forever - BFF - I miss my best friend - July 2, 2012

A Member's Poem Gives Me a Wake Up Call - She captured her husband's perspective - July 10, 2012

Happiness is..........................- What made me realize that I had not felt true happiness in a long time - June 25, 2012

The Fine Art of Talking to Oneself - My solution to the lack of conversation in my Alzheimer household - June 30, 2012

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