JOAN’S BLOG, MONDAY, JULY 2, 2012 – BFF – BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

I get it. I get the texting lingo. Well, some of it anyway. I even use it when I am texting. In text language, BFF means Best Friends Forever.

What is a best friend? It is someone you can trust with all of your secrets; someone who “has your back” – looks out for you and defends you against detractors and enemies; someone who is a good listener; who thinks you are smart and funny; laughs at all of your jokes; makes you smile; with whom you can enjoy sharing activities or simply doing nothing together. If you are lucky enough to marry your best friend, he/she is someone with whom you can enjoy passion and intimacy for a lifetime. 

I was one of the lucky ones who did marry her best friend. I could count on him to comfort me when I was hurt; agree with me when he thought I was correct; disagree with me when he thought I was wrong. We could argue politics and religion and agree with each other or agree to disagree without rancor.

This was a friend who could tolerate my “directional challenges”. He, who had an excellent sense of direction, did not understand how I could have been born without one. Understand or not, this was a friend who once drove around a town for an hour looking for a restaurant that I said was “off the main road” down near the water on a street with a funny name. Darned if he didn’t find it. We had a good laugh over that one.

My BFF held my hand when we snorkeled, so I would not be fearful. He captured the mice while I hid in the bedroom. On the flip side, he chased me around the house with a cricket in his hand, because he thought it was funny that I was afraid of such a small creature.

My BFF held my hand through every surgery and health crisis. How ironic that he was never sick, never had surgery, and never had a health problem until Alzheimer’s Disease (and Diabetes) came roaring into his life.

We had no secrets from one another, except my weight and the amount of shoes I owned. A woman doesn’t even divulge her weight to her BFF, and if the BFF is a man, he has no clue why she would need so many shoes.

I was as good a friend to him as he was to me. He knew he could trust me more than anyone on earth. He trusted my advice, my comfort. He knew I would always be by his side cheering him on and supporting him. He knew that when he came home to me after a long day’s work, he was safe from anything the world had thrown at him that day.

The texting lingo, BFF, started with teenage girls, in whose time frame, “forever” probably means until they graduate high school. In my time frame, “forever” means forever – until death. Or until Alzheimer’s Disease take him away and leaves a blank shell in his place.

I miss my BFF.

MESSAGE BOARDS: Joan's Mon. Blog - Best Friends Forever

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©Copyright 2012 Joan Gershman
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2012 All Rights Reserved

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