Someone had commented on this site that there was nothing funny about this disease. I couldn't agree more. Then I decided to think about why I often laugh when DH does something. It's not because I find it humorous,when another cup of coffee is spilled,inside I am thinking oh no,another mess to clean. But I laugh and tell him it's OK,I don't want him to feel badly about it. The same when he wears 3 layers of clothing or 5 hats at one time.THe last thing I want to do is harm is self esteem. I would never react in any way that would make him feel less than the man I married.He is a happy ,laughing person and I hope to keep him that way as long as possible.Yes,sometimes it is very hard to keep a smile on my face when I am crying on the inside.
yhouniey, It may have been me who said there was nothing funny about AD. I never laughed when my DH "blew it" I just gritted my teeth and moved on. I still don't think anything was funny when I remember the things he did. To me it was just another sign of sinking further and further into dementia. He died last August and so far I am finding it hard to remember the times before AD
It seems to me that not only is "if you have seen one AD person you have seen one AD person" the truth....everyone is different. Also, I think that fact can be true of caregivers. Jean21 comments that she has a difficult time remembering the times before AD. I have a difficult time remember the AD person my dh was for so many years. I can only think about all the fun and good times we had together berfore AD and how much I miss those time. That is where my grief is now...remembering good things. If I could remember the bad things I might not cry so much.
Sorry, gang, but Lloyd has done some pretty hilarious things since he has AD. My all time favorite - since it has been cold I put a tee- shirt on him with a button front flannel over it. He can turn both of them totally inside out and end up with the tee-shirt over the flannel and the flannel hanging off his arms still buttoned at the wrists. He did it the other day and my daughter saw it for the first time. She was hysterical and yelling for me to come see. There he was. He has done it 4 or 5 times and it is funny every time!
Guess one of Paul's habits that is funny sometimes(not several times aday) is when he tries to put his zip-up hooded sweatshirt on. He will turn it inside out-then upside down-put arms in with the hood hanging down in the front-I tell him " how is that gonna keep you warm?"and he looks down and says well the "important" stuff is covered!! Guess sometimes we just NEVER know what they are thinking!!!
I was visiting my husband in his facility and couldn't find him. Finally found my one dignified husband wearing some poor lady's pink tights and another ladies red wig. The staff thought I would be upset-but I was way past that stage and thought it was funny-in a sad way.
Laughing, chuckling, smiling can signal so many good things--some lasting, some fleeting. 5 days before my DH died, a relative took it upon themselves tmo tell him he wouldn't be with us much longer. He was going to die within a year. (Why???) DH stewed over that from around dinnertime until the next morning when he called me--crying, distraught. I calmed him what I coud and got what facts I could. Just what you want to do over the phone. I told him nobody knows when someone is going to die. Only God knows and when He tells you, then you'll know. As soon as he was a little calmer I called the Nurse's station and filled them in. They kept a close eye on his agitation, spoke to him in the samee line as I had, and he calmed a bit more. When the Dr. saw him the following morning she spent nearly an hour with him, telling him again, basically the same thing. We talked on the phone everyday and I just reinforced what we were telling him. Yes, he had a condition that couldn't be fixed and he would die, but no one knows when. That Saturday, we had a wonderful visit. He was more alert, a bit more active. When he brought the topic up, I repeated the basic message. "Only God kows when. When He tells you., you'll know.but we aren't going to worry about it. Next time the idea comes into your head I want you to think about seeing your Mom and Susie (a sister);and meeting my Dad. Oh, and don't forget all our pets waiting fo you at the Rainbow Bridge. They'll be going with you--you'll be a whole army with-Chantey,Tessie,Babe, Nixie, Luna, Willow, .... He grinned and actually laughed--not big but a real chuckle. He was seeing in his minds eye. He hadn't done that in a very longtime. I knew then,he understood that everything would be okay That was when I knew he knew and was no longer fearful. He passed away at 2:10 Sunday morning--easily and peacefully. Even in this there is a place for laughter.
Oh, Carosi...so sad and yet, so right. It seems so strange as I look back on the last times spent with my 2 best friends and my Mom and Dad how those last visits were so right and I didn't even know in my friends' cases that they would be gone. I remember my husband and I taking the kids to Alabama to see Jeff and his wife and daughter. Jeff and I had gone for a ride in his little "project " Opal GT and talked about the good old days - just the 2 of us. Six months later he was killed in a hunting accident and I was so glad we had strolled down memory lane one last time. It doesn't make me sad. It just gives me peace still and that was over 30 years ago.
Laughter is good medicine they say. They also say 'a good belly laugh exercises every organ in the body'. Other than at work, the only time we really laugh is every night when Burns and Allen are on.
I believe the funniest thing my darling Frances ever did was when she busily swished her communion wine from side to side in her mouth (as she did every liquid at this time in her life) when the hospice chaplain was giving her communion -- he admitted that was a first for him!