One of the residents in the facility where my husband is has been moved to the hospice room. He is still quite verbal. He was looking up towards the ceiling at one point yesterday and said "it is so beautiful". We don't think he was refering to the ceiling but to where he is going. Even if we are wrong, it is still nice to think that he will be going to a beautiful place. I find it comforting as my husband gets closer and closer to the end.
Oh divvi, I just read the news about your beloved chihuahua. I know you were heartbroken. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I used to love your chihuahua stories and all the antics. It's a big loss, I know.
The oh oh oh has just stopped upstairs. L. has been being very vocal lately - Andrew and I decided to take him off Ativan for awhile and see how he reacted. We found out. Not good. So he's back on but not primed up well yet! It's recommended for the "disruptive vocalization" that L. has much of the time. Sadly, though, he's less communicative as well as less agitated when he's on it. The pics I put of him with Andrew on FB show how animated his face can still be when he's fully awake.
Was a cool day today. Still working on getting dil out of financial hot water. Today I made a payment on her electric so it isn't shut off tomorrow. Son overdrew account so she didn't have the money. He called last night and said he made a mistake in going to Colorado. Then today the lady whose condo it is came back from her honeymoon alone (caught hb having an affair on their honeymoon) and kicked him out. So, he overdraws account more and is headed back. He was ticked when she told him he can't stay at the apartment. He is only coming back for a few days cause he supposedly has a job driving truck for a company out of Utah. HB is so confused by all this and angry at son - he can't keep track of what is going on.
Otherwise I am fine. Looking forward to taking off the end of the month.
The weather is cooler and much less humid here in SC. A couple of nights got down in the 40's.
DH seems to be doing well on the 50mg of Seroquel. I went a while ago to pick up the prescription so he will just take one at night instead of 2 of the 25mg. I hope it keeps on working and he gives up on his hallucinations/delusions! He is much more mellow than he was which is fine with me.
What a gorgeous early Autumn day we have going here is southern New England! It is blue skies, lots of sun and leaves changing. I just love to see the combination of colors on the trees. The weekend is supposed to be pretty good too. I hope to soak up a lot of it as we are getting down to the last few really nice days (at least weekend days as I still work full time) before the cold starts to set in.
After all the the rain earlier this week, I finally got to take the dogs for a walk this morning. They could hardly contain themselves when I picked up the leashes. The ran around danced and jumped all the way to the gate where I put the leashes on and we go for our walk. They had beautiful doggy smiles on their faces the entire walk. Their antices really brought a smile to my face.
Visited my DH over lunch today. I went to hold his hand and even touching his hand was causing him pain. So, the nurse gave him ativan and put a warm compress on his hand. She thought that he might be uncomfortable from his muscles contracting and that any motion with the hands caused him discomfort due to stretching. If he is still uncomfortable later, she will give him some more morphine. While I feel badly for causing him pain, I am glad I did find it so I could have something done about it. His hands are starting to look a bit misshapen from the contracting and endema.
Haven't been on these boards for a while. Took a break, just checking in. It's gotten really nice outside here in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. A time for festivals, cool stuff to do...if you have anyone to do stuff with. Happy on the outside, flailing like mad and screaming at the world on the inside. Nothing is working out anymore. Unbelievablly, John was not qualified for Medicaid. Don't understand. However this is only what the lawyers for the nursing home say...as for myself and my attorney, we've heard NOthing from Social Services.....still, after all this time. Not allowed to sell any acreage in this county...wierd laws in effect to keep this part "green" and agricultural. But, COULD sell the entire farm! NOT! Still have strange "step-spawn". One tried to introduce himself to SunAmerica (a small annuity left there for me.....yes, at my insistance before John was COMPLETELY disabled) as the "executor" of his father's "estate". No, it didn't work and they didn't give him any information. Continuous battles. I'm so, so tired. Trying my damnedest to sell, trade or GIVE away two T-bred broodmares and a 3-yr old pony that has potential. Wanna pony, project, LIVING YARD ORNAMENT?? (I'll even DELIVER!) My mom and dad are failing, too. What's next....oh, yeah...daughter is up and down with me. What's new?
Just checking in here too. Am at the farm where there is computer access. Hopefully next week I'll have a connection in the mobile home. Started out there with an air mattress, card table, bentwood rocker and a tiny little portable tv. Now actually have beds and a decently equipped kitchen . Will add a loveseat, comfortable chair and a desk this week maybe. Everything feels temporary but much better than trying to stay in my little 16ft Casita RV. I may have said that its only 3 miles from DH's facility and in a good well managed place. Its hard to believe that its already October when it seems like only yesterday that we placed DH. He has adapted fairly well but is not content there. He wasn't content here either. He wants to GO. We take him places and do things but there is no residual effect. The minute he's back in his room..he's wanting to GO. It was the same thing when he was at home with the exception that he would/could get LOST here. So he is safe..even if he is not content. Divvi, sorry to hear about your little pet and the others who mentioned the loss of theirs. My Sammy is 10, a schnauzer. I look at him and he looks at me and if he could speak we'd both be saying 'WHAT In THE WORLD ARE WE DOING?' I hope that when the time is right you'll find another or another will find YOU. . My daughter has had chihuahuas. Special little ones they are.
Are you anywhere near Round HIll? If so have you been to Cox Farm? If you are anywhere near there you might enjoy just getting out a little. Cox Farm has some singers and lots of things to see and the open air is wonderful. My two girls sing there under the name Twice Shy. They both have their own bands too.
I cannot imagine the headaches you still are facing with all of this.
Hay let me know where you are..one of our girls is losing her farm and is in the area I think you may be. She has horses, a donkey, chickens, peacocks etc and there is a special farm ( I think like a petting zoo) that is taking them soon. All her animals will go together as they all get along and would miss each other. I can ask her what the name of the place it if you like. Let me know maybe they can help you with your horses.
mimi....I'm in Staunton, VA, in Augusta Co. I think your daughter is in Loudon Co...somewhere east of Berryville?? Anyway, a couple of hours from where I am. I spent my morning at the Horse Center in Lexington, pinning up brochures about my horses for sale or adoption, talking to folks, "networking". Everyone is having the same problem. Only thing anyone is looking for is a deadbroke old pony to pack the kids around on. I DO NOT have anything like that! I'm in a mess here. Yep, I've looked into "rescue" organizations, too, and when I take a closer look, the ones nearby have dark blemishes on thier records...like animals being impounded from abuse, neglect. No thanks. Hope your daughter looks carefully at any 'benevolent' organization she donates her animals to. Really do. I've seen bad stuff.
Yesterday got a call from a small local grocery store that has weekly drawings for cash. You get a card and have it punched each week, then you're eligible for the drawing. I don't shop there; so never have had a card, but hb got one long ago and after he couldn't drive would ask me to take him by each week. That stopped in the spring. Call yesterday says he's won $1,600 IF he brings his card to the store before noon tomorrow. He knows nothing about any blue card, getting it punched, etc., etc. Has no idea where such a thing might be:( I've searched north, south, east, west, up and down in all pockets and drawers. Nada. Could have been in a pocket, gone through the wash and tossed. Oh well, it's not like we HAD $1600. At least it's not a million dollar lottery ticket:( Sure would help w/his prescriptions since he's in the donut hole.
I'm back from my 5 day respite trip to Washington, DC. Spent 3 days with 2 friends from high school, mainly eating at great restaurants. Also visited the Museum of the American Indian (at my sister's suggestion). Then had dinner with my cousin and his wife - haven't seen them for 7 years when they came to Maine for my mother's 100th birthday party. I'm now going through mail, reading posts here, and doing laundry. After a quick trip to the store for food I'll go over to the hospital and pick up my wife. Hospice uses the local hospital for respite care. All in all it was a great trip, and very restful. Even the flights to and from DC, with change of planes at NY's Laguardia airport, went well.
Marsh, I moved out here Northwest AR from Washington DC area. Where did you eat? Miss those restaurants like crazy. Did you happen to go to Zaytina on 9th St NW? I loved that place. Their head chef was on Top Chef a couple seasons back. Did you eat at the Museum of American Indian? Great food there too. Must be time for lunch here....
Terry, We ate at: Clyde's Mark Center (Alexandria), Willow Restaurant (Arlington), and RT's (Alexandria). On the last night with my cousin we ate at a Spanish restaurant near the airport. I did have a cup of chowder at the Indian Museum. Unfortunately, we didn't know they had food, so grabbed a cheeseburger at McDonalds next to the Air and Space Museum.
Just got back from picking up my wife at the hospital. Everyone there told me how much they enjoyed her. She was happy, friendly, cooperative, and ate well - just what I would expect from her. She was also quite talkative, but mostly didn't make sense. They have 2 other Alzheimer patients right now who are giving them a hard time.
More news - This afternoon I was told that since my wife has not shown any significant deterioration she is being discharged from Hospice. This means I won't get the 5 day respite until she qualifies again. Fortunately, the volunteer hospice is not tied to medicare, so that will continue with a volunteer taking care of her while I go to Rotary and possibly to other events.
Was a very busy day - compared to my normal day. Spent day running DIL and grandkids to doctor appointments, shopping, etc. since she doesn't have a car. We got it done today because she starts her new job on Wednesday - that is when I start watching the 2 kiddos. Granddaughter has preschool in mornings so will only have grandson until she gets out of school.
Son called his wife saying he can't get his CDL until his blood pressure has been stablized for 6 weeks, which it hasn't. Has to stay under 140 and his was up to 200 but I hear the change in BP meds has helped that. So he said he will leave SLC tonight to head back to Washington and go back in 6 weeks. He is very upset/angry that she will not let him back in the house until he gets counseling for his anger and other emotional problems. If he tries to return to the apartment she will get a modified restraining order against him. All he thinks about is himself, not those two little ones that are missing him but also calming down now that daddy is not there yelling at them for whatever! Plus, I hurried to get his birth certificate and sent it certified last Friday because he needed it ASAP - it arrives tomorrow and he told his wife he will not wait for it.
thank you. I am trying to think of what soap opera best describes my life (and many lives here). I guess the only soap I watch: The young and restless!
I talked w/store mgr; no negotiating. Yes, I would expect to have to pay taxes on it. But that's one concern I don't have now:) I expect I tossed the card after washing his wallet months ago.
Go to the store manager and tell him that you are going to the local news station to ask them if they would do an interview with you to raise awareness for Alzheimer's. You are going to tell your story of the misplaced ticket that caused you to lose the prize money, and how much that money would have meant to you and your husband. You just wanted to stop by and see if he would like to be interviewed for the piece.
When he pictures the bad publicity that would ensue, I think he may be willing to negotiate.
In the 2+ hours that I have been sitting at my computer my hb has asked me 3 times my plans for tomorrow. First and second time - great detail. Third time just that it will spent taking care of the kids. DIL starts full day of work tomorrow so it is take her to work, granddaughter to school and bring grandson back until noon when GD is out of school, then naps and back here until mom gets off at 5. Today grandson cried cause he wanted to go to work with mommy, but when he woke up he wanted to know where papa was. Papa had to come back to pick up us so he could wook in shop with papa!!!
Son is on way back from Utah. He claims he wants a divorce ASAP but am hoping he will come to his senses, get the mental health help he needs and save his marriage.
Went to our ALZ group today. The same sorts of problems were mentioned as we discuss here. One of the biggies for everyone today was getting the spouse into the shower. One gal said her husband used to be up at 5 and in the shower 5 minutes later. Not now..so to get him in the shower at all, she has gone along with HIS new schedule which it get up get dressed in who knows what, have coffee and breakfast and go for his walk and then lunch and then a snack...so sounds like his shower is about 3 in the afternoon and to get him into the rainroom she promises him ice cream after and it works..Another said she has put a sign up for her husband DO NOT GET DRESSED BEFORE BREAKFAST as he tends to put on his clothes without taking off last nights depends...he came out and asked her why she didn't want him to beDEPRESSED before breakfast? My story was about the showering thing too...and hair cuts..we go around about this one...he will do this on his own if he knows he is going someplace otherwise he won't bother. It old him the other day after several efforts to get him to the barber shop that he was beginning to look like a relative of the Unibomber. And the best one of the day was a lady whose husband is 91 and compared to the rest of us is doing pretty well. He got the dreaded thing from the DMV..some kind of test or statement needed. But as we were meeting he was running errands on his own..he does not get lost..I said my DH does..maybe the two of them could start a carpool. Someone else chimed in that maybe all of them could go together for a weekend giving us all a break and come back on Monday. Our leader thought it was pretty funny but said the CHP was not ready for a car full of ALZ drivers and would not know what to do with them when they go into the keystone cops routine.. We had some good laughs today.
Well, the step kids continued their antics in spite of the Care Facility staff efforts to stop them - in addition to mine - so now a letter to their lawyer has been sent warning them that their visiting hours will be restricted if violations continue.
Did everyone enjoy the latest news on preventing dementia? Lots of exercise is the ticket! Hmmm, since G was a marathoner, ski patrol member, ran home from work daily, one would think that would qualify him for getting lots of exercise, but he still has dementia! I do get tired of all the "new" ideas that solve the problem.
kathi37 - I heard on The Doctors tv show that nicotine can forestall, maybe even prevent AD. ha ha How many smokers here??
Fall is here = cool nights and cool days. Even rain.
Son showed up and it is very awkward since we have been supporting his wife and kids emotionally and some financially. After 2 weeks of looking at cars her parents who hate my son have gotten involved and offered their old Volvo. they will let her borrow it until she gets a legal separation from him. Being a community property it is a wise step since it will protect her from any more foolish financial decisions he makes. So far there has been no indication he desires to seek counseling to save his marriage. She caught him sitting in the truck outside their apartment using the internet (was set up as wi-fi) to go into his romance/dating sight.
He stopped by here to pick up something and would not even talk to my hb. This has upset hb but hb does understand our son is angry at us. Oh well, such is life.
Charlotte, I am sorry. We are facing sort of the same thing. Our DD is leaving our SIL and kids. She has joined the army, she is in training school now. Have not heard a word out of her. Keep in touch with the SIL and he is a blessing. They have been married almost 14 years now. She has walked away from everything she had, and for what. I am most sad that she does not see what is happening to her dad. She told me she was leaving her DH the same day I got my DH dx. I can't stop my life falling apart, but she as well as your son have done this to themselves. So sad. Again, I am so sorry. By the way SIL is in the army too, so now I will have two to worry about.
Went out this evening with my brother and sister-in-law, my daughter and her husband, my adult granddaughter and my niece. A typical small town, redneck, saturday night down at the local Moose Lodge. Lots of good county music, cold Bud Light long necks and a pool table. Saw lots of people I had not seen in a long time but I had never felt so alone in a crowd as I did tonight. It was the kind of night that Charlie would have loved. I did have to try and show off and dance to Rocky Top with my brother and I think that my back and knees may never recover. Shortly after that a man that Charlie used to shoot pool with came in for a game and I just had to leave. Too many memories. So much for my wild saturday night. Think I will take my aching back, my aching knees and my cat and go to bed.
I check in frequently to the site, and it reminds me of when my husband was home, and he would call down the stairs to me from his study to see what I'm up to.
Today I had a doctor's appointment & I asked my daughter if my DH could stay with her while I went ALONE! She said no problem & he went to her house willingly. It's the first time I have gone anywhere alone (except when I go to work one day a week) & I was so relieved I wanted to cry. I forgot how it feels to go somewhere by myself, but I know that most of you know what I mean.
ALONE is a wonderful word, isn't it? Just for a while, being alone makes one feel free. I wouldn't want to be alone all the time, just for a few hours or a day. I used to worry about him not wanting to leave the house, but now he goes with me everywhere; he would go with me to the hairdresser if I let him. He even wants to out for lunch or dinner when we go for a doctor's visit! It's really a miracle! Of course, I'm rarely alone but at least I don't have to worry about leaving him alone, and I guess I'll have enough time to be alone later, won't I? Wow! I sure said the word ALONE a lot, didn't I?
Alone, alone, alone. I say it a lot, too! Last night I was talking to a friend, telling her that I really wanted a relationship .... then I said out loud that I didn't know if I'd REALLY be able to live with a man ever again. I related a story to her about cleaning out a closet, pulling out my winter clothing and putting away my summer things. Gee, I thought.....if someone came to live with me, I'd have to give up some SPACE! We laughed and agreed that "he" and I would have to keep seperate housing and "visit" as necessary!!
It is definately getting cooler here. The leaves are turning and falling all about. Very pretty today and WINDY. Getting hay stacked in my barn (for boarders), feed and shavings delivered. Footing for arena delivered in the next few days. Run in with my neighbor (who thinks he means well, but knows NOTHING about livestock)...he doesn't understand the difference between qood horse quality hay and hay suitable for cattle. Thinks I should save my money, buy the cheapest stuff I can...."If they won't eat it, they'll just have to go hungry", he says. IT DOES'NT WORK THAT WAY!! There are REASONS we feed a certain thing to certain animals. Goats are not horses, cattle are not goats or alpaca..............oh, you get it. Just blowing off steam. He can get me so upset. So critical of my every decision. GOTTA stop discussing things with him!
I'm going to haul some horses to New York on Halloween. About 500 miles each way. A place called Mohunk?? I know I've butchered the spelling, but that's what it sounds like to me. There's some kind of spa resort there. I'll make a little paycheck.....even better if I can leave the trailer THERE with them...they express interest in its purchase. Sweet!...and I'll get better gas mileage coming home without it in tow (big Dodge V-10 gets 9-10 miles per gallon with a load on it). Gotta go. Hope everyone's day is going well. Me, I'm tired. Just came from the Y. BYE!
Jen, you and I would get along just fine as far as unequal sharing of closet space is concerned -- all my male "stuff" is crowded into one half of our master bedroom walk-in closet and one small 4-drawer chest (that I've had since I was a child), whereas new wife Joyce has ownership of the remainder of that walk-in closet plus closets in the other two bedrooms, the coat closet in the hall, a large bedroom dresser, another large chest of drawers, and a cedar chest at the foot of our bed. And even so, she's prone to leave freshly-washed clothes in the laundry room for a long time for even more hanging room. Beads, earrings, and shoes to match every outfit -- BUT, I'll have to admit that she's a real knockout when she gets it all together!
We're finally feeling a touch of fall weather down here in Florida too -- temperatures in the mid/low sixties for our early morning walks, and highs in the low eighties mid-day. I envy you the leaf color -- as you'll recall from your years in Central Florida, things just tend to stay green year round down here (but with some brown thrown in this year because of a lack of summertime rains). I spent the past couple of days hosing cobwebs off the walls and ceilings of our huge wrap-around porches (1400 square feet of porches), and will start working on our mildewed porch furniture and railings tomorrow -- but, I'd rather be leaf-looking up in the mountains somewhere!
You two would be welcome, but the best color isn't gonna last beyond another two weeks, I think.
Another nice day here and I'm going to try to do as much as possible with it.....and clean up inside here, get my office space neatened, update my bookkeepping. AAack.
I have now earned my asterisk. He stopped eating 10 days ago and passed this morning with one son and me at his side. It has been a long, grueling 10 days but we were in a terrific place that took good care of both of us. I did the smart thing and came home each night to sleep with my fur kids so got a decent night's sleep. The days were long, the phone calls endless and I have scheduled some surgery to take the phone out of my ear (just kidding). I am glad it is over for both of us. He is not in pain any more.