That is a very interesting question. I have never heard of an AD woman thinking her husband was her father, but it makes sense. The nurturer in the man's family was always his mother (most likely), so it is natural to think the one taking care of him is his mother. But in the older generations, the father was not in the nurturing role. I'm curious to hear what the men have to say.
I'm pretty sure she still knows that I am her husband. There was one time several months ago when I was spoon feeding her the applesauce I had her pills in. I commented to her that this was feeding a baby. When I got done, she looked at me with a grin on her face and said "Thankyou, Mommy".
We have re-entered a phase of agitation and rage and she has called me some 'not so nice' names. But, not her Father. However, she continually wants to call her Mother and Father and they have been dead for 40 yrs.
I can't believe some of the language my DW uses when she gets upset bad enough. This lady has never missed a church service, taken a drink of liquor (her, not me) and never told a lie. She would die if she knew what she was saying. After I get over the shock, I tell myself, again, that it is the disease talking and that it's ok.
No, I was never mistaken for Frances's father -- she rarely mentioned her parents -- although sometimes when there was too much commotion for her she'd say that she wanted to "go home" -- which I interpreted to mean back to a safer and less confusing place, and letting her retreat back to her bedroom usually seemed to satisfy that need.
Dean, We were married 47 years and the only time I ever heard my husband say he** was if he had too much to drink. That all changed with AD. We went through a period where I thought my name had been changed . It wasn't a very nice name either. I was his mother many times though.
At this point my husband sometimes calls me Mommy, as a joke, when he feels I'm "mothering" him. He also makes the statement "You take care of me." It's sort of matter of fact when he says it--always comes as a little surprise to hear him verbalize exactly what's going on.
carol never thinks I am her father. Just oppisite, she loves to look at old photographs and the one person she nearly always recognises is her father. Pictures also include lots of her mother, but that recognition does not come out like seeing her father does. Carol is now in an AD facility and it looks like they are recomending that we move her across the parking lot to a NH. She does seem to regognize me but I don't bring out any emotions. Tough times!! bill
My wife is in early stage 7 and currently doesn't recognize herself in the mirror or me. She seems to recognize me in as much as she knows that she knows me but she doesn't really know exactly who I am. A while back... not sure how long... when she could still dress herself and carry on a conversation of some sort I said to her... "You know that I am your husband, don't you?" her response stunned me. She cocked her head to the side and said in a confused tone, "You mean you are my husband AND my father?" So, in spite of the fact that she never called me Daddy or Father there clearly was a time where she was thinking it.
It might also have to do with the relationship with their father. If he were absent - always working, out with the boys, etc. - or was just not an involved dad, there would not be that emotional connection back to their childhood. I know my dad would be the last person I would want to see my hb as.
Charlotte, I had thought before I asked the question that the reason would be because Mom took care of everyone and everything. It seems that more men now are involved with their children so perhaps things will change as time goes by. Of course I hope and pray that by the time the children are adults there will have found a sure fire cure for AD and all the other dementias so they won't have to go through this awful trip!
Buzzelena, Her ability to ambulate by herself seems to be degrading rapidly. Even though today she was shuffling much better with her walker and actually walked 10 yards down the hall without her walker. Scared staff. She has real difficulty feeding herself and even has trouble eating because she apparently had a mini stroke in last month and has started to bow her head all the over to her shoulder and breast. Makes it harder to feed her. AD facility just felt that she would get more personal care in the Health Care Unit. It is also a very nice and friendly facility. May move her this weekend. Thanks, bill
Kathryn knows who I am. So far only one time, did she not know me, and, asked me who I was. But she has never said I was her Daddy/father.
Billeld, Kathryn loves to look at old photographs too. I'm not sure if she recognizes the people in them but she does smile while looking for them. Kathryn lives at home where I take care of her with my Father's help. Her emotions are like those of a small child 90% of the time. I think she really enjoys seeing friends she recognizes. If she doesn't already know someone its like she meeting them for the first time every time she meets them.
My dw has never referred to me as her father,. She has on many occasions called me "mother", followed by other nasty words.....I cannot say she truly knows that I am her husband, but rather some man who she recognizes as part of the decor. On very rare occasions, she will tell me she loves me, but mostly I am the alz devil who is the cause of all her problems. I am to blame for weather, telemarketing calls, natural disasters, and acts of God...
I wondered who was in charge of the telemarketing calls! Would you please do something about the ones that keep telling me that the warranty on my car is about to expire! Since the car is a 2002, I think it expired several years ago and I'm fed up with them. Of course, they are recorded calls, so I can't tell them to quit. And somehow they even got my cell number!
Just a quick comment for Janet, and others who are interested - regarding telemarketing calls to cells phones: Cell phone numbers are now being released, so you have to put a "do not call" on them as well as your land phones. Also, when a telemarketing call comes in to your cell phone, you are charged for the minutes. The number to call to block these calls is (888) 382-1222. Be sure to make the call from the phone you want to block.
And that is still no guarantee they will not call. If you have given your number to a bank, online questionnaire, or anywhere else, they will get it. Someone was telling me if you call a toll free number it may be recorded and sold to telemarketing companies. We can only try.