I am new to this site but have been reading it for a couple of days. Right now DH's main problem is short term memory loss. With this has also come his lack of bathing and changing clothes without a fight. Another problem he has is not thinking he is have a BM. This really concerns him almost to the point of anxiety. I have been give him stool softners with his night time meds and he still swears he does not go to the bathroom. We are going to see a new neurologist tomorrow and hope maybe she will have some ideas how I can relieve his worries about not going to the bathroom.
Welcome, Marilyn, to an excellent site to share concerns and learn what others have done in similar circumstances. I live in a the country between a couple small towns w/no support groups; so this is where I find support and information, understanding. MY hb has vascular dementia. I also have to remind him about bathing and changing clothes--he sleeps in his which is okay, if he'll change them from time to time:) Others will be along with greetings, too. We're here for one another.
Welcome to my website. When you feel comfortable, please tell us more about yourself and your husband, so we can be of more help to you.
You have come to a place of comfort for spouses who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". There are 4 sections for EOAD members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD (early onset AD). There is a great new section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a new "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page - www-thealzheimerspouse.com - daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
Welcome Marilyn67, Are you sure he is having a BM? Maybe you can turn the water off going into the toilet so he can't fluse it. Then You'll know for sure. When he says he hasn't had on, you can show him. He will probably tell you he didn't do that, it was someone else. Just one more thing you will have to do, not that there isn't already enough things. Again, welcome
Welcome, Marilyn, we hope we can offer some help to you, plus a lot of hugs, and a place to let off steam!
You need to redirect his thoughts when he brings it up if you can. They get compulsive about everything at one time or another. If he still has rationale, you can get a calendar and get some stars (like the teachers used to give us) and when he has one, put a star on that date, and put it in front of the toilet on the wall. That way he can put a star up when he has one, and he'll be able to see it (or you can show it to him when he doubts). Now remember that they also regress in age as this disease progresses, and it is NOT demeaning to them at all, but very helpful, if you take the time to ease their anxieties any way you can.
I hope this helps. ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))
I have tried doing a calendar and having him add a check if he went. He thought that was childish and tore it up. I even tried to tell him that if he hasn't been going to the bathroom that he probably would be in a lot of pain from being empacted. He then will say that sounds right and will be satisfied for a while.
A little about myself and hubby. I am 67 born in NY but moved to FL when I was 8. I had worked in the school system for 30 years at various jobs. My last job in the school system was as a secretary at a middle school. I retired 5yrs ago. My Dh is 16 yrs older than me and he retired from Piper Aircraft. We have been married for 46 years and are the complete opposite in everything. We have 2 children, a daughter who just turned 46 and lives in NC and a son who turned 41 in Oct. Our son lives about 45 miles from us. He married later in life and now has 2 y/o twin boys. He is also on medical disability from the fire department. He was injured at work and after 6 surgeries on the spinal part of his neck is still in severe pain. On the 22 of this month he is going to have his gallbladder removed. Besides the neck injuries he is also an asthmatic, so I worry when he has to be put to sleep for any surgery as he is very hard to wake up. I have always been at the hospital for his surgeries but don't think I can go this time. My son's surgery is scheduled for late in the day and if I am not at home when it gets dark my DH gets confused. My daughter in law's parents are going to help with the twins and my daughter in law will take her DH for his surgery.
Marilyn, We might be twins. I am also 67, Dh would have been 81 this year, out oldest daughter will soon be 46 and our middle daughter will be 41. DH also worked for the school system . The only twins we have though are nephews, two sets there. Brother n law was the fireman, and son n law just recovered from surgery for two herniated discs at the base of the neck, numbers 5 and 6 and we were married 46 years.. Now we are both here. I'm sure you'll find answers to a lot of you questions right here.
Welcome to this wonderful website. It is a place for venting, questions and sometimes laughs. I'm 51 and my husband is 60. He was diagnosed at 58 with FTD (frontotemporal dementia). Many obsessive behaviors in our house. We have two children--daughter who is 27 and son who is 22.
As said by others...this IS the right place. I live in a very isolated community, so this is my saviior. It even helps when you do not post...just read and learn. Stay with us and you will gain comfort.
Yes actually I live north west of VB in a little town called Fellsmere. It use to be a country town where eveyone knew everyone else. Most of the people who were here when I moved here (1959) have passed away. We have a large hispanic population now. I believe the hispanic population is at about 90%.
Marilyn we used to call Sebastian the little town time forgot. Does Fellsmere still have their frog thing? When the weather warms up perhaps I will drive up and meet you at Hiram's
Yes they still have the Frog Leg Festival. As a matter of fact I think it is in a couple of weeks. Sebastian has grown somewhat but is still small. Would be glad to meet you at Hiram's anytime.
Marilyn - in 2006 we worked one month at Vero Beach Kamp in Sebastian (Wabasso). The owners and managers were horrible. My hb's uncle lives there in Vero Beach in a mobile home park off the interstate. Looks like you live on the other side of the interstate from where he lives. Didn't really like that area, but we did stop for a few days in Panama City and enjoyed that area of the state (liked the pine trees).
I know the people who use to own that camp and yes they were horrible. Their daughter was a teacher at the school where I worked as a secretary. She was a very complaining person.
Their dad died about a year ago. Have not seen them advertising for workampers since. The owners and the managers knew nothing but profanity and screaming. HB had never encountered such treatment before and always was able to get along with people. After three weeks of screaming, profanity and having smoke blown in his face he quit. I believe that is what triggered the symptoms to escalate. Also, the event that brought it on was a sign: he had been shown once how to clean the pool and was expected to remember after that and if any questions read the book. His reading and comprehension has always been horrible - he is a hands on learner. Anyway, one day he turned the drain switch instead of the fill switch and didn't realize it was draining. It was about half empty when the manager showed up. He screamed so loud that everyone came out of their RVs and mobile homes to see. He to this day denies turning the wrong handle. #1 clue. The daughter would not pay us until Friday (this was Monday) and we refused to leave. She charged us for every day we stayed waiting to get paid. We found out later that others who quit and left never received their last checks.
We couldn't find a job in Florida quickly so we drove back to Washington state. First day back he is using the table saw and practically cuts his finger off and doesn't realize it until he sees the blood. Then nonchalantly calls me (I was out shopping) telling me he thinks he almost cut his finger off. #2 clue something other than depression was happening.
Marilyn67 and bluedaze, I hope you'll count me in on the lunch at Captain Hiram's also -- just a hop, skip, and a jump from here -- but let's wait for warmer weather -- those vinyl windows don't do a very good job of keeping the cold out!
I am new to this site and am soooo grateful to have found it. My husband was diagnosed last 22 Oct 2009. Earlier in the year I had noticed some little things but nothing so out of the ordianary, the sorts of things we all might say " well I have done that too." But when I returned from Iceland, there seemed to be even more things. Thinking it might be sleep apnea needing re evaluation, I started with all his doctors, one at a time. He is a Viet Nam Vet exposed to Agent Orange and is totally disabled from that and diabetic in the bargain. Long story short, the final diagnosis is AD. He is on Exelon and I am not sure it is helping.. I spent a bit of time lurking on the threads and find this forum to be supportive, sympathetic and infomrative. I also find some of the phases of this disease to be downright frightening. I am grateful for any insight I may gain in this neighborhood. Thanks, Mimi
Mimi - just keep in mind that not all go through some of these behaviors. There are some whose spouse has been very docile, easy going through out the disease. My FIL was and hope my hb will be. My hb has his medical through the VA and are pleased with the care he gets.
Welcome, Mimi. Yes, reading some of the threads on here can be scary when you are in the early stages, but I find that it helps to be prepared when something new happens, and it is very comforting to know that some kinds of behavior are "just" part of the disease. It's also good to realize that some things get easier as time goes on.
Welcome, Mimi. I agree that some of what to come is frightening, but it helps me a lot to be prepared. My husband hit me for the first time recently and knowing that it could happen helped me react calmly. I just told him he absolutely could not do that and called his doctor for a medicine change. It hasn't happened again. This is not to say that there aren't times I get terribly upset even though his behavior is "just" part of the disease!
Welcome to my website. You have come to a place of comfort for spouses who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. Since your husband is relatively newly diagnosed, I recommend starting with "Understanding the Dementia Experience".It is comprehensive, easy to understand, and extremely informative. Then go on to "Newly Diagnosed/New Member".
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate, written by me about my experiences trying to cope with my husband's AD. There is a new "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
There is a new section coming - The Perspective of the Spouse with AD. Tracy Mobley, who was diagnosed with Early Onset AD at age 38, and is now 45, has agreed to write a monthly blog about what it is like to be the spouse with dementia. Her first blog is still on the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com. Her archived blogs will have their own separate section on the left side of the home page.
Welcome - anything we can do to help you, just ask.
welcome mimi! we are a lively group who all are in the rocky boat with you - lots of good handson info from folks who have knowledge on the how to's of this disease. hope you join in the topics as theres always someone here to give a hug. divvi
Thank you one and all for the generous welcome. I have spent some time wandering around the whole site but there are some locations I have yet to visit. I have been exposed to AD before having lost my mom and her younger brother and an aunt by marriage to this disease. And each has been somewhat different in original presentation of symptoms. My mom and uncle were the two I had most contact with and thankfully they were content most all of the time. My hubby is a retired Marine attack pilot who flew 407 fixed wing combat missions. At present he loves to read and watch lots of movies and the discovery, history and military tv stations. So far his friends have not drifted too far off but I feel that is coming as he does not carry the conversations like he used to do. By the way and as an aside, my husband's sister also has been diagnosed with this disease and I have told our nephew about this site through which he can link to the site for family members other than spouses so I hope he and his sisters will take advantage of this..I will also pass this along to our girls who are across country and one working in CapeTown SA. So glad to be here!
Welcome Mimi and Marilyn, you have landed in the arms of the most supportive, informed, funny, courageous family anywhere. We will be here to hold your hand, dry your tears, cry with you, kick your butt if needed :o) and do any and all to help you get though this miserable journey. Arms around, Susan
Me too. The threads are really interesting and informative. I have had a quiet day and have been able to spend a fair amount of time reading the articles.