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    • CommentAuthorWeejun*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Did you get a second opinion on the mold assessment?? What a shame to have to go through all that.
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      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    No, but I can see the mold and the very reputible company, had an independent lab do the air quality results. I'm woundering if lthis is what caused my mother's sudden onset a year ago of pulmonary issues, Jim's sudden asthma, my worsening asthma etc.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Susan i have been thru the mold issues -it is mandatory if you already have health /asthma issues to leave the house now. if you have run the AC or fans at all it can/will spread and will cross contaminate the air ducts. everything in the home must be decontaminated. even my dogs got severe conjunctivitis from living in the home unaware of it. DH was terrribly sick and i had eye breathing issues as well. most of the molds can release toxic spores which are serious health issues. esp if 'disturbed'. if you can find someplace friends/relatives free to move to while remediation is done is best esp if you mom is having health issues. the insur adjuster is trying to save every penny to apply to getting it remediated and not wanting to use part of that cost in housing i guess.
    air quality will show dangerous levels if they are present and testing will tell you the type of mold you have. none of it is good but some worse.
    and remember if you take stuff with you when you move out to have it cleaned and washed everything as spores can cross contaminate new dwellings - its a mess to deal with. i nearly went mad with mold. AD and having to move out to an apt for 4mos.. wishing you all the best-you are one strong lady dealing with all you do. divvi
    • CommentAuthorAnnMW1157*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Oh Susan.......I don't know WHAT to say except that I'm hugging you so hard!!!!!!!!!

    Prayers are with you!

    Ann
    •  
      CommentAuthorJeanetteB
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Susan, what a mess, it is unbelievable and so unfair to have the mold on top of everything else. Your band of cheerleaders are right here helping to keep you afloat. (bad mixed metaphor there but you get the idea). Hang in there.
    (((HUGS)))
  1.  
    Susan I am speechless. Is it possible to get a FEMA trailer to live in during the clean-up.
    • CommentAuthorJanet
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Susan, I'm so sorry that more problems keep piling up for you. I am totally amazed at how sane you still seem to be. I'd offer to let you stay here while the mold is being dealt with, but it would be a long commute for you to see Jim and for the boys to get to school. It does sound really important that you get out of the house right away though.

    As always, hugs and prayers are with you.

    Janet
    • CommentAuthorWeejun*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Bless your dear heart, I can only offer cyber hugs and hot air to try and blow that black cloud away from your head!! Keep your wonderfully optimistic attitude -- you'll figure out something!
    • CommentAuthorZibby*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    I can only repeat the concern and care of others who've posted, but believe me prayers are ascending. You seem to have one major issue after another. I don't think I'd be able to handle it all.
  2.  
    After hearing Divvi having been through the same thing, and what happened to them, I hope you can find some place to stay soon so that the de-molding can begin! I knew mold was bad, but time seems to be of the essence to get out as well. I am so sorry that you are having even more problems! Your strength is showing more with every tragedy and problem. You are nominated as Superwoman!!!! My prayers will continue and in the meantime, here are some more hugs! (((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    • CommentAuthorHanging On
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Susan--I'm so sorry that things just keep piling up for you. If I lived closer, you could stay with us. You are, as someone already said, very strong, and you keep bouncing back. That is true. I send you many hugs.

    Hanging On
    •  
      CommentAuthorfolly*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Susan, I'm adding my prayers, cheers, more prayers, hot air, hugs and another length of rope. I think you've accumulated more crisis rope than anyone else here. I wish you could stop needing it.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    I honestly do not feel very strong right now. I don't know how to find the strength to go forward. I'm so overwhelmed. My nerves are shot, my heart is racing. I want off the treadmill but I don't know how to get off. I don't have the focus or the strength to try anymore.
    • CommentAuthormarygail*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    o you poor dear you have been through so much i am not very good at going to the higher up but I will put in a good prayer for you, hang on and try to get out of the house when the mold is being removed
  3.  
    I have often said I feel like I'm on a treadmill - facing backward. I think you're on it with me, Susan. I too thought the insurance would pay for temporary housing while the mold is being removed - or whatever they do with it. There was a huge mold problem in Houston after Tropical Storm Allison. Houses were soaked and then came the demon mold.

    I know how you feel about not having the strength to focus. You have focused until your eyes are crossed. It would be easier to fall off the treadmill that is running in the opposite direction, but you know you cannot do that. So what DO you do. Take the most important challenge...and deal with it. That's what I've had to do.

    This is the worst life filled with unimaginable challengers................. and it's JUST NOT FAIR! Not to you, not to me or any one else on this site. We just can't let it claim us, too.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Thanks everyone, going to bed early, taking one of my sleeping pills. Don't want to think anymore today.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2009
     
    Susan - I would contact that great social worker that has been so much help. Due to your income level (or lack of income), there has got to be some type of emergency housing available, even if staying in a motel. Please try to hold it together - you have to for the boys. If the state sees the stress and you breaking, they could take the boys away. I don't trust state child workers. I know this adds more pressure you don't need, but maybe that can give you strength.

    And yes, the mold can be causing the pulmonary and breathing problems and could be contributing to the boys acting up. Of course the stress they see you under they will react to also.

    So much pressure, but so much riding on how you handle. I am so sorry you have so much pressure. Worse comes to worse I guess you could stay with your daughter - I mean worsest!
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2009 edited
     
    Thanks Charlotte, yes staying with my daughter would be the Worsest! The Town has an emergency fund, don't know if that would help, but I can check. I just don't know where I will find the strength to fight, just don't have it anymore. Going to church today, but I'm worried about just sitting there and crying. Then off to see Jim. He just discovered the NH has WiFi and wants me to bring our laptop.
    •  
      CommentAuthorbuzzelena
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2009
     
    You ARE strong, even if you don't always feel like it. Hang in there. Thoughts and prayers are with you as you face yet another hurdle.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJeanetteB
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2009
     
    Susan I hope the church visit was strengthening or at least comforting for you. Thoughts are with you, hang in there.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2009
     
    Church was ok, Sunday school didn't start yet, so the boys made it difficult to pay attention. Mom and the boys stayed for coffee hr and got a lead on a rental house. Now I have to take my homeowners policy, which states that I DO have coverage for Alternative Housing for Mold Issues, and go to my agent and what the deal is. I even called my ex-husband (duh) he has been an insurance agent all his life. He gave me some pointers. I will call a lawyer if I need to.

    Had a calm visit with Jim, he enjoyed the computer, I flipped through a magazine. I cried leaving him, didn't want to enter the real world again.
  4.  
    Susan-not that it helps-but we all ache for you. House rental is a great idea.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeSep 14th 2009
     
    Susan - church can be a great place to cry. Years ago when I was dealing with the shock of Art's affair, I would sit in church and cry. I was always sitting by the few who knew, so I felt safe. I never had anyone come over and drill me which was my only fear. The kids were in their classes so did not have to worry about them. I would cry because I felt so alone sitting there by myself. (he was not at home at this time).
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     
    With a hope and a prayer we are planning to move Jim to the South Paris Veterans home. We've waited 5 months, to Jim it seemed like 5 years. The interview today at his nursing home went very well. The VA intake specialist only has to get verification from the psychiatrist at D"Youville that he has not been in need of psychiatric care/treatment. So we should be in the clear. If all goes as planned Dylan and I will move him on Thursday. He will have a private room, flat screen TV, and private bath, everything he wants. I now have a Town and Country Van and am once again able to lift his wheelchair into it without back pain. He will be close enough to come home on Sundays for church and Sunday Dinner and when ever he wants, which is everything I want. Can we start a chain of crossed fingers, so that I don't have to hold my breath?????
  5.  
    My fingers are crossed. Quit holding your breath please.
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     
    Absolutely susan. Fingers and toes crossed!
  6.  
    Fingers crossed and rubbing my lucky rabbit's foot for you too, Susan!
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      CommentAuthormoorsb*
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     
    Fingers crossed
    •  
      CommentAuthorfolly*
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     
    Breathe, Susan, breathe. We're all rooting for you and Jim. That would be great.
    • CommentAuthorWeejun*
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     
    Fingers crossed for you and Jim.
  7.  
    Susan: I'm crossing my fingers for you too. I didn't remember you and your circumstances until I keyed in on your name and saw the tattoo. That was the big topic of conversation when I first started on this website.

    Hope it goes well for you.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     
    That is good news Susan. Also will pray the weather is good on Thursday.
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      CommentAuthorBama* 2/12
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     
    Fingers are crossed and praying that everything goes well.
    • CommentAuthorJanet
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     
    Fingers crossed.
    •  
      CommentAuthorpamsc*
    • CommentTimeDec 8th 2009
     
    fingers crossed!
  8.  
    Everything crossed.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeDec 8th 2009
     
    Thanks everyone, you've made me laugh with hopefulness. We haven't heard amd ots 4:15pm on Tuesday. She said I should call her on Wed am if I didn't hear by the end of today. Aghhhh. Poor Jim is going crazy. I'm sure it is going to turn out well, I just need the official word.

    Charlotte, thanks for the good weather wishes, Tomorrow is supposed to be AWFUL! Dylan and I were going to get him all packed up and ready for the move and now "they" are talking about a storm that could last from tonight into flippin Thursday! Well on the bright side I will be able to use my John Deere!!!

    I'll keep you all posted, thank so much for your support.

    Arms around, Susan
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 8th 2009
     
    Susan, have one of the boys get a picture of you out there plowing snow if you do and add it to the FB group.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    Jim, Mom and I are devastated to learn that he has NOT been accepted to the VA Home at this time. The VA team was concerned that they do not have a psychiatrist on staff or on call in So. Paris. There is a meeting next week to address this gap in care. I have asked Dr. Pope from D'Youville to call the team and make them aware that Jim has not had any issues since arriving there. He checks in on him monthly, only because it is in his care plan.

    Please pray that things fall into place for us. It is so very difficult having Jim so far away, taking care of Mom, and the boys. I'm torn in so may directions. Plus the VA Home is the best of the best. Jim deserves that.

    Thanks for your continued support,
    Susan
    •  
      CommentAuthorJeanetteB
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009
     
    Susan, that's amazing. What a setback. Still keeping fingers crossed that it will work out. Yes, he deserves it and so do you.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009
     
    Susan - keep the faith and think of this as a minor set back. If you look back you have had so many 'miracles' happen - things that should not have happened. This too will happen, just not when you thought but will take place. You were planning to move Jim today but with the weather you have had, maybe it would not have been safe driving on the roads. When something happens that delays our travels, I tell myself that there must be a reason we were not to be on the roads at that time.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeDec 11th 2009
     
    Well, the paperwork, doctors orders, states blessing are all in place, but of course it is Friday and the intake worker at the VA Home is off on Monday! Aghhhhhhh! Now I get a call from the FTD Clinic at Mass General telling me that NO ONE FLIPPING CALLED THE INSURANCE COMPANY TO GET THERE OK TO HAVE JIM SEEN OUTSIDE OF THE STATE OF MAINE! I Know that I talked to his neuro (who I usually love, but) and his nurse and told them what needed to be done! Silly me, shame on me for not checking to see that they'd done there jobs! So now we are traveling down to Mass to have dinner and celebrate an early Christmas with our close group of friends, staying the night in the hotel we already paid for, (non-refundable) and driving home again on Tuesday. Trying to look at the bright side, but all this is really getting to me. If someone throws me a rope I might hang myself!!! Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
    • CommentAuthorJanet
    • CommentTimeDec 11th 2009
     
    Oops! No rope for you Susan! Just "arms around." Hang on. It will work out. (I am so disappointed you can't go on the cruise. I so wanted to meet you.).
    •  
      CommentAuthorbuzzelena
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2009
     
    Hang in there, Susan.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeDec 23rd 2009
     
    OK, here we flippin go again! Now the VA Home is telling us that Jim can "probably" move in on Jan 5th!!!!! They want an official letter from his psychiatrist saying that he will continue to monitor him and that he has talked with me about transporting him to his office once a month! The admission committee won't accept him without the letter and of course the dr is on flippin vacation until January 4th! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I won't believe any of it until he is safely in his room at the VA and I am driving away, then I will breath a sigh of relief. Unflippin real, all of it. Red tape sucks, especially when it plays with someones mind and sense of wellbeing. Thanks for giving me a place to vent. :o)
    •  
      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2010
     
    OK.............I had my doubts, disappointments and more doubts, but TODAY I MOVED JIM TO THE VA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    They were terrific with him. Intake was quick and efficient. Could not get the private room as medicaid will not pay for it and the out of pocket cost is $450 a month. More than we can afford right now. His roommate is bedbound, on a feeding tube, doesn't speak, but does have his TV going all day. We got around that problem with the headphone. Plus the VA has many, many quiet places to go and sit or watch tv. They have computer access, he was pleased with that. The food gets rave reviews and it quite impressive. This really pleased him. Residents are welcome to seek out snacks and drink. Oh he can have alcohol if he wishes! In fact they encourage it, lol! They do however keep it locked up in the med closet :o) I stayed with him until he was settled watching the news. I was home in 16 miles and 25 mins later. Wahoo !!!!!
    • CommentAuthorJean21*
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2010
     
    Susan, So glad everything went well. Maybe now you can relax a bit more and pay attention to yourself!
  9.  
    Oh, Susan, congratulations! So happy to hear it all worked out and went well and that he is pleased too! Hang in there, Girl Friend!
    • CommentAuthorZibby*
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2010
     
    Great news for one of ours. Makes me happy, too.
  10.  
    Good news, Susan.....I am happy for all of you.....