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      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009
     
    Over time, there have been several references made on this site to scattering ashes. My eldest brother's ashes are to be scattered in August in one of his favourite places.
    I told a nurse friend about it, and she said that it was illegal to do so (in Canada, anyway). Has anyone any information on the legality of scattering ashes?
    She told me the story of a mutual nurse friend who had asked that her ashes be scattered off the stern of the ferry that runs between an island and the Mainland. They were about 5 minutes out from the wharf when her ashes were scattered. But there was a gust of wind, and all the ashes blew back onto the cars parked on the ferry deck. My friend said that when the cars drove off the ramp, the ashes blew off, and she found it a horrifying sight.
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      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009
     
    Here are a couple of sites I found when looking into scattering my Dad's ashes. Hope it helps ((hugs))

    http://www.nextgenmemorials.com/memorialscatter.html

    http://www.funerals.org/frequently-asked-questions/cremation/376-scatterbrained
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009
     
    It is illegal in the US to scatter in certain places, so that is not uncommon. I think when at sea, you have to be so far out to avoid what you described.
  1.  
    Mary75, I worked in the funeral industry for over 20 years. I can give what info I know. In all 50 states of the United States, it is "technically" illegal to scatter ashes any where but 2 places....at sea, or in a 'cremation garden' in a cemetery. There are ways around this, however. A "burial permit' is required even in cremations. If a body is cremated, you have to determine that the ashes will be buried in a cemetery, (address required) scattered at sea (and it has to be 2 miles off the coast), or scattered in a cemetery (address required). The way around this is to put on the permit that the final resting place will be a residence (address required), which is also permitted, and then what you choose to do with those ashes is totally up to you. As far as I know, there is no cremation police that will come and check on the ashes from time to time. I hope this helps....
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      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009
     
    Thanks for all the info. What a panel of experts we have on this site!
  2.  
    What is the maximum jail term for scattering ashes illegally?? I can just imagine someone getting arrested for the illegal scattering of ashes...Is it a misdemeanor or a felony?? Technically, I feel bad for the police who would make the arrest....first the gathering of evidence, field testing, and then incarceration...That would be on CNN or Fox news for sure.
    • CommentAuthornatsmom*
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009
     
    phranque - lol!! you have a wicked sense of humor ~
  3.  
    When a friend's father died she related that his wish was to have his ashes scattered on the golf course at the country club. Of course, that would never be permitted so she and the family decided one day to play 18 holes and managed to "drop" Bob off at many places on the course. I thought it was a great idea....and who did it hurt....
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    I got alot of info about this topic last year when my SIL needed to scatter dear brother in laws ashes off the coast in California, (his wish) we are in Tx. well long story short, she didnt follow protocol after all the investigations i did. appparantly you can NOT dispose of ashes without the permits-i had lined up a chartered boat that has a license! by the govt to dispose of ashes at sea. it has to CHARTER and document with a registered official document within the county the exact time/maritime location/and day the event takes place and like someone above said stipulations with regards to how far from the shorlines. i do belive 2miles offshore-even doing it by air has restrictions. it makes sense if you think of it. doing it this way preserves the info for the deceased persons relatives if they want to know what happened. its then recorded in the countys burial registries. now..... if you do it illegallyl and a family member ever questions What happened to them you can gete into alot of trouble if you disposed of their remains without the legal docs to prove where/when. at least this is what we found out whhile looking into all options. she didnt follow protocol due to not wanting to pay the 'boat' fees and so if anyone questions his scattering she has no proof of how he was disposed of. plus exactly like you said she did it on her own and when she opened the urn the ashes came back all over HER. was very dramatic -she wished she had done it the right way.
    after all said and done-divvi
  4.  
    First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdale's.

    "Bloomingdale's!" "Why Bloomingdale's?"

    "That way, I know my daughters will visit me at least twice a week."
    • CommentAuthorRB13*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    Our Son's wish was for his ashes to be scattered in the Gulf of Mexico....we charted a boat at the Marinia, that did this, we went about 20miles off the coast. The family was all there, his wishes were granted, he loved the water, spent much time diving and exploring caves. and reefs, we knew he was happy.
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      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    Phranque, too funny! Thanks for the laugh :)

    I think this is again one of those things that vary by state. I imagine it would also depend on where you wanted to scatter the ashes. Public land or private.

    Most of my Dad's remains were buried at the cemetery. I had 4 small keepsake urns filled. 3 I will "scatter" at special places to him, the last one will be buried with me.

    I did extensive research and called the local authorities. I did NOT need a special permit. I think the best thing to do if you have questions is to call the crematorium or the funeral director. They would know all the laws, if there are any, for your state.
  5.  
    Some of the best advice I ever received was, "Forgiveness is usually easier gotten than permission."

    I've expressed a preference that a portion of my ashes be thrown out the window of a motorhome driving west along I-70, amidst the beautiful scenery of San Raphael Swell, about 40 miles west of Green River, UT, another portion spread over the gravesites of my parents back in MS, and the remainder mixed with the ashes of my DW and spread here on the grounds of our homeplace in Florida that we built together -- but it isn't terribly important to me -- whatever the kids are comfortable with.
  6.  
    I want my ashes or body buried under the ground. Thank you.
  7.  
    I'm with you. gourdchipper. My DH and I will be cremated, and our son can do with us whatever he wants. We won't be there to argue. He teases us and says he'll give us proper burial at sea....right down the toilet! :)
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      CommentAuthorSusan L*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    I say IGNORANCE IN BLISS! MY close friend's parents wanted to be scattered at the place where they met. As young teenagers back in the very early 1950's the two sisters were visiting the Flume in the White Mountains. This being a trusing time, they giggled as they carved their names and addresses into, a log. A bit later two brothers came along and saw the names of these two sisters. My friends Dad, wrote to one of the sisters, his brother wrote to the other. Well one thing led to another, they met, married and had 3 daughter's. The daughters went back to the Flume and when NO ONE WAS LOOKING, scattered some of their ashes. I told this story at Cindy's Dad's funeral. A I expained that back then this was called '"ON LOG DATING", LATER IT BECAME ON LINE DATING! The whole congregation broke out in laughter, I was thrilled, as was the family!
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    On Monhegan, the trail is on private land. Helga belonged to us, hence she's being scattered at home!
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    When my cousin died, my sister put our mother's ashes in her coffin. I guess she set the plastic bag of ashed right in her hands. They grew up together - were only a few months apart.

    I always told hb if I died before him, he was going to have to hike into the Three Sisters Wilderness Area up to the top of Burnt Top Mt. and let my ashes go. But now I guess it looks more likely he will be first to go.
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      CommentAuthorshoegirl*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    Phranque you funny man. What movie is that from?
    • CommentAuthorJanet
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    A friend of ours died very suddenly. After a memorial service at church, we scattered part of her ashes in the church garden. The garden was a project she started shortly before she died. Her husband scattered some of the ashes in her flower gardens at home. It was a way she could continue to help the flowers she loved continue to grow. He took the rest of the ashes to places they both liked near where they grew up and scattered them there. It was probably highly illegal, but I thought it was beautiful and it helped her husband with his grief.

    I don't care what happens to my ashes.
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      CommentAuthorgmaewok*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     
    My older sister had 7 children. She always said she would want her ashes put into an urn and rotated among her kids. You know, a month at one and then the next and so forth, and then start the cycle over again. She would sit on the mantle at each home for a month. That way whoever had the urn would have to "shape up", ok, guys, watch yourself, Mom is visiting this month. Course they would say they'd keep her in the back bedroom rather than on the mantle. When she did die from lung cancer in 2000 her ashes were actually scattered on a beach in Florida by the Atlantic Ocean. She had lived there for a couple of years, loved it, and that was her request.
  8.  
    There is a company in FL that puts the ashes in a reef for the fish. They take a boat out with the reef, the reef has a plaque with the deceased person's name and date of birth etc on it. The boat takes the reef out and the family can hold a ceremony and then a flower wreath is place in the water. It is something that I have been looking into for myself.
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeJul 13th 2009
     
    I went to Sukothai in Thailand - lots of temples, stupas, the step-pyramid looking things. On their little ledges were small figurines - buddhas, elephants, temples - about the size of a hand. I was told that these were cast from people's ashes and placed there by family.
  9.  
    Seriously, if you bring 'em home, which is perfectly legal, no one will ever care if they become part of the vegetable patch.
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      CommentAuthorCarolyn*
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    Jean just passed away. We had cemetery lots before we decided on cremation so ashes will be buried there. We had decided years ago that we deserved more than a cardboard box so several months ago I purchased matching beautiful urns. (Much cheaper on line, I might add.)
    • CommentAuthoryhouniey
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    I want my ashes spread over my pet cemetary.The lawyer said this is legal as long as we own thw peoperty or the owners at that time agree.WE have about a dozen dogs buried there plus many cats,I always give the wild cats a decent burial. All the dogs have proper markers and flowers planted,afterall they were my loving family members
    • CommentAuthorOcallie36
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012 edited
     
    We decided long ago to be cremated. DH will be split between me and his 1st wife. My ashes will be the split between him and 1st husband. My urn will be my Wonder Woman lunch box. I am not in a hurry though. If I can only make it through this beastly disease.
    • CommentAuthorElaineH
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    Ocallie36, I hope you don't mind but when I read that your urn will be your Wonder Woman lunch box I had to stop myself from laughing out loud (DH is sitting across the room & it's too much trouble to explain to him why I am laughing!). That is too funny & very creative! Thanks for my first laugh of the day.
    • CommentAuthorOcallie36
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    Elaine, you are quite welcome for the laugh. But it is for real. My kids think it's a great idea. Take something you love with you.
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      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    Since I live in Ca. I know many people that have just gone to an area by the ocean where there are not many people and scattered ashes of their family.

    My grandson is going to put some of my ashes in the shaft of his putter so I can be playing golf with him from time to time. The rest of the ashes my girls will scatter in the ocean.
  10.  
    How about ashes placed in a gourd? That's where the last one third of my DW's ashes now reside -- in a sculpted gourd container that I had made years earlier as an "art piece". The first third were scattered between the graves of her parents back in MS (no, we didn't ask anyone for permission -- we just did it), and the second third were scattered in her favorite garden area out back of our home in a little ceremony by assembled family members. Our number one son has the gourd containing the remainder, with a request that they be mixed with my ashes whenever the time comes, and then preferably dumped out the window of a motor home driving along Interstate 70 west of Green River, WY -- in a rugged scenic area we both loved.
    • CommentAuthorcarosi*
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    DH and I have plots. Our Daughter and I have basic plans figured out for DH. We have decided on cremation (Plots were acquired long agp). As to disposition of the ashes, after the service the ashes, in the temporary urn, will be placed in the vault and buried. We will share a plot. The other will be donated. Our Daughter is having a carpenter friend make a nice box--urn--which will hold our temporary urns for the service, when it's time. Afterward, she'll keep it to hold momentos--wedding rings, Marriage license, etc.
    • CommentAuthorElaineH
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    My DH is a Veteran & there is a Veterans cemetary half hour away & that is where we will both be buried. My parents are buried in a Veterans cemetary in Wisconsin & they are buried in the same plot (they knew this before hand). Mom said that she hoped that Dad died first & when we asked why she said, "Because I want to finally be on top!" DIdn't happen, she died first.
    • CommentAuthorbriegull*
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    Gourdchipper, good to hear from you. I remember your gourds on FB being truly spectacular. Coco, in Hawaii, says she does something with gourds - can you share the address of your pictures with us, so she can see?

    I scattered most of my husband's ashes on Monhegan, but kept some here in a small wine carafe. Don't know what I'm going to do with it when we move.. find a small urn or box. Don't have a lunchbox..!
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      CommentAuthorCarolyn*
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    IBesides the urn, I have a small mahogony container with a lid that we got on our last cruise. I'm have some of the ashes put in there for a keepsake for me. At first, I was going to put his wedding band in it, but then decided that might not be a good idea. I asked them to seal the lid.
    • CommentAuthorwoeisme
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    A very close friend lost her husband to cancer. He was cremated and together wth several family and friends we joined his wife as she scattered his ashes in the ocean in front of our building from a friends boat. The following morning she called crying/laughing "come down to the beach quickly." We were joined by others who stared out to sea in amazement as bunch after bunch of fresh flowers and white roses washed ashore. The flowers coming ashore made the local papers. Some things you just accept and don't question.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012 edited
     
    in most coastal waterways, or inlets or bays, its the law you have to dispurse remains at least 3 nautical miles from shore.
    especially in california . i know my sisinlaw took brotherinlaws remains to spread in the san francisco bay area. there are chartered boat vessels especially for this purpose in most ports. if you get caught it can be bad news. there are also permits needed which denotes the time, date and specific coordinates they are dispersed in. the Clean Water Act, and the EPA oversees cremated remains in water, usually in each state.
    it is supposedly ok to dispurse on your own property or with written permission of owners. but if its a public area, park or naturepreserve area again you may have to get a permit. lots of info online for each state/county laws and regulations.
    divvi
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      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    You are so right...I went on one of those chartered boats with a family who had lost their darling little
    3 year old. It was beautiful, but very, very sad.

    But, I also have known several other families that did it off shore north of LA in an area where not many beach people go.
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      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    I am long past denial... but God! I just can't do this.....I had a "plan" but I couldn't go through with it.

    All I know for sure is there will be butterflies released.....