I am thinking back to the very earliest signs that something might have been wrong...hindsight being 20/20 and all. We are at stage 5/6 right now. So I am thinking back to 7 or 8 years ago to a couple of very small things. B. started having sleep disturbances, he'd wake up in the middle of the night hollering that something was getting his foot. I remember thinking at the time that this wasn't normal but dismissed it. Also about that time, he started becoming overly interested in the groceries. I thought he was obcessing but again dismissed it. Then about 6 years ago I noticed he was much less confident when we travelled and seemed to ask me a lot of questions. Also I noticed that this man who had always been an excellent driver, would veer into the direction he was looking. He started using his toothpick a lot more (now I hate toothpicks).
Oh, absolutely. DH is a good solid stage 5 with some stage 6 thrown in for good measure. I first noticed 'something' about 6-7 years ago. He made some significant arithmetic errors when he paid the bills and totaled up the check register. I have always done the monthly reconcilliation and somemonths the errors were 2-300 off. I brought it to his attention and he got really sore at me and told me "since you're so smart, you pay the bills!" And I have ever since. That's been at least 5 years ago. Then it was the questions--over and over again. It seemed like he couldn't figure things out like he always had before. Then he started saying things like "whatever you want." He wouldn't make a decision of any kind. It's really sad.
He's always been very neat and tidy--well groomed. Now, I have to get everything ready and get into the shower with him for a shampoo and shower. If I don't lay out clean clothes and grab the old ones, he'd wear the same things for a week. He has not shaved in a week and I have never liked whiskery face. I haven't said anything about it. I'm curious to see how long he'll go.
Frances had always been a good map reader and "navigator" on our RV trips, but then suddenly about ten years ago she couldn't make heads or tails of a map -- that was the first thing we noticed.
Personality change about 5 to 6 yrs before dx regarding spending money. Had always been very generous with money, gifts, etc. Started making comments about small expenditures (items for $10 to $15) being unnecessary. I was very puzzled, thought maybe it was because I had retired and he was more conscious of living on smaller income. Stopped buying new clothes for himself--had always enjoyed clothing. Also, he had always driven Mercedes' and now bought a Hyundai! I was happy about that--those darn Mercedes' were so expensive to keep up! At the time, I tried to discuss what was going on, but he had no explanation for his changed behavior.
Strange but John became a nicer person 6 yrs. ago. Less self-centered more pleasent. He was very kind to my Mom the last 3 years of her life and they has never really gotten along. I thought because he retired he was mellowing. Wrong wrong wrong.
My husband had an EVENT about 5 years ago, but looking back before that there are signs that he might have Alzheimer's in addition to cardio-vascular dementia. Just little things that don't quite seem right. Like not understanding that I needed him in the room with me while I waited to go into major surgery. Or that leaving someone alone in the hospital after major surgery might not be a great idea.
Looking back now at that surgery in 1999, it wasn't a lack of caring. It was a lack of understanding that patients need family help when they are helpless.
Not just 5 or 6 years--but decades. Something always seemed amiss, but I loved him, thought he was just quirky and dismissed people when they'd say, 'why did he say/do that?' I always said 'ask him, not me,' I didn't see anything wrong, but it was there, hiding, all along. I realized later that he was depending on me for his memory--asking things, letting me do the financial work, over and over letting me take a lead, make decisions--and all along I thought he was being so easy to get along with--except when he wasn't easy! And I too often saw fear in his eyes, fear in a fearless man. I tried to find out what he was afraid of. Who knew he feared losing his mind. What a horror, and I never had a clue.
I really didn't notice anything until one day our older daughter came to me and said she was concerned about her mother's memory. Then I realized that I, also, had seen some memory problems. That was the start, about 5 years ago. She saw a neurologist, had detailed study by a psychologist, plus the usual tests for other causes, and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She was started on Aricept, but this made her vomit, so we stopped it and went to Razadyne. After 3 visits I "fired" the neurologist because he really didn't seem interested in her. Since then she has been strictly under the care of her PCP. She is now stage 6, but has never shown any anger, etc. She is always agreeable to anything I want her to do.
There are two discussions about this, but I could only find one. It is titled "Presigns to Early Onset". I'm going to bring it to the top for those who want to read of more early signs.
I beleive it was about seven years ago, John became very interested in shopping, too. But, he'd go to the Dollar Tree here in town and buy the wierdest things, food-wise. A case of vienna sausages, canned chilli, Spam. Stuff we never used. ( I gave most of this stuff to the food bank or our church for those in need). NOT that I never eat vienna sausage, chili or spam. But, it was rediculous, the volume. Then, the day-trading on the stockmarket started which ruined us, financially. He's always been a jealous man, but BOY....did he ever start going over the deep end! Yes, I can look back at a lot of episodes which I thought were quite odd. I remember when he last took a trip with one of our girls (he liked taking our kids individually to foriegn countries) to London...when she got back home, she called me and said through her tears that her daddy just wasn't the same anymore. I knew what she meant and agreed and confirmed her thoughts. It was sad. She was the first to achnowledge that something is amiss. Now, she is the one that has the most bitter relationship with me...and apparently, Power of Attorney until I rescue him from Florida.
Funny, my husband came home last week with canned chili without beans from Big Lots. Like what are we supposed to do with that? But don't get me started on the day trading, which took away our entire retirement funds, except my rental property which I have spent years working in order to pay it off in time for retirement. That was to be my contribution. It's really all that's left. I can't stress enough times for others new to this, to stay on top of things financially, especially trading stocks.
Three years ago we took a driving trip about 1300 miles to visit our daughter and family. We had always enjoyed driving trips and he always did most of the driving, but this time he kept forgetting which number road sign to look for to turn off, even though I kept repeating them to him. I also noticed that he kept veering into the left lane and other drivers were honking at him. I finally took over and did most of the driving. Then in the hotel rooms he needed a light on while we were sleeping. This is a man who always took charge and was my protector. Now suddenly I was in the role of protecting him. After we returned home I noticed definite personality changes and a mean streak that was never there before. I starting looking things up on the internet and educating myself about dementia. It is so sad because he was the type who could tackle any project and fix it. I never had a repairman come to my house in all our years of marriage. He always took care of everything. Those days are gone and now I am making the decisions and tackling the projects as best I can and I must say learning a lot .
These comments have been so helpful and I wish I could have read them a few years ago, when I thought I was overreacting to little things that I now know were early signs. There were so many times when I'd know that other people were not acting the way he was and it scared me so much. It's only been recently that I've been telling people about the dementia, since it's gotten so much more noticeable. We just returned from what will be our last travel experience. I'm hoping that things will quiet down a bit now that we're home, but I think that his daughter and I are going to have to figure out some way to insist that he get evaluated. This board has been such help. Thank you all so much.
Looking way back...ummmm. We were planning a long trip to Florida. The week before, he was continuously losing something - his glasses, his wallet, whatever. Never had happened before. Left on the trip. Really horrible!!! Kept losing his wallet every stop we made. Fortunately, we always found it. Continued trip to see his son (a neurologist). I asked him to watch his Dad closely. He did - and then talked to both of us. Said he was sure it was MCI at least. We continued the trip and it just got worse. When we arrived in So. Fl., he did not remember where we had lived, where he had worked - nothing. It was an awful trip. Got back home and immediately made doctors appointment, testing, etc. DX'd as early stage ALZ. Immediately put on Aricept. Had to switch from evening to mornings only and cut the dosage - he was having bad dreams, hallucinations, etc. After a couple of years, he also went on Namenda. Last summer that dosage was also cut to only 10 mg. in the mornings. Actually, happily, he has not declined very much in all these years (since 2003). He has good and bad days, but most of the time he functions fairly well. We are attached by the umbilical cord, though. And, he gets physically (and mentally) sick if a trip is even mentioned. No more traveling for us, but I thank God daily that he functions as well as he does.