I have been trying to quit smoking for the past 3 mos. My hubby HATES ciggarette smoke so I don't smoke arounde him. In the past I quit foe 5 years, so I should be able to do it again, only, the stress AD brings about is not helping me. Has anyone dealt with this issue?
Oh yeah, shadowbaby! I quit first of the year. Hardest thing I've ever done. The stress we are under makes it harder to quit. I struggled and struggled, but finally did it. I still would trade my chocolate for a cigarrette though - any day! I don't know what to tell you, but if you've quit before, you know the drill. Whenever I really am having a bad time with it, I try to get busy doing something. My house is now cleaner than it's ever been - I clean in every spare moment. The hardest is while I'm on the computer, I always reach for that cig. My best to you - I don't know what else to say.
Go shadowbaby!! I was a heavy smoker for many years. The only way I finally quit (over 10 years ago) was by using the patch. It's not for everyone, but it worked for me. I wasn't going thru AD hell at the time, but I did have a beautiful son that was battling (and loosing) a powerful drug addiction while I was trying to quit. I hung in, and I came out the other side of the smoking addiction. My son, unfortunately, continues to struggle with addiction. Hang in there sweetie, you can do it! ((HUGS))
There is a thread in here about emotional eating. Eating, smoking, drinking, drugging - they're all addictions, and trying to conquer them while going through AD caregiving is a special kind of Hell.
When I am trying really hard to give up the emotional eating, I find that exercise, exercise, exercise, and walking, walking, walking, help tremendously. Maybe that will help with trying to give up the cigarretes.
One day last year, I walked out of my house, and kept on going. I felt like Forest Gump - just kept walking. Ended up in town, 2 1/2 miles from my house.
awww...dont we all wish we could walk out the front door and never look back sometimes!! haha. i agree dieting and caregiving is almost impossible in my book. everyone tells me when DH is no longer here the lbs will melt off so dont worry..isnt that a lovely prospect to look forward to? who needs friends..:( divvi
I was a very heavy smoker the last year or so I smoked (26 years ago) I quit cold turkey and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I almost lost my job because of it. WOW! I guess I was really hard to get along with. My boss called a staff meeting--said his assistant was going through nicotine withdrawal. If anyone gave me a cigarette, they were automatically fired. Can you believe it.
I hate to admit it but I gained 50 lbs. I just traded one addiction for another. I'm still battling the weight. My doctor said he could eventually get the weight off but couldn't build me new lungs. He said he hated to see me carrying this much weight but very happy I'm not killing myself smoking.
Good luck. Hang in there! You really can do this. It's hard--no doubt about that--just one day at a time and lots of walking. :)
A year and a half ago I FINALLY was successful in quitting... I was a heavy smoker and so is my husband.... I tried many times, different methods, but LOVED smoking and my husband would jinx me.... So my last and successful attempt I told my husband he didn't have to change his habit..... he could smoke where he wanted and when...I was doing it for ME and if he felt guilty don't...This is my choice.....I was able to do it that time and yes I have put on some weight.... but my lungs are saying thank you......
I didn't quit trying even though it took me a few years to succeed because I heard and it stuck in my mind... KEEP TRYING...one time you will succeed... and I did....
Don't give up... one time you will succeed..... : ) And my husband thinks it's cute that I'm "fluffy"
Congratulations to all who are even trying to kick the habit - i quit in '96 just cold turkey after a binge of partying and heavy duty smoking with the hangovers from both..hahah(you know what i say those who have been there:) just said no more and did it and never looked back. so glad i did that but now i am unable to follow thru with dieting. circumstances have changed with AD in our lives, so i am not so mortified i have been unable to find my willpower like with smoking. stick with it the benefits are worth it! divvi
I know I was right in quitting - however, everyone, doctors, etc. told me how much better I would feel. WELL, I DON'T FEEL BETTER. Don't have the energy I had, just generally do not feel better. I won't start again - but it just is not true for me.
I am not a doctor, so I'm just guessing here, but you may not feel better because you're ovewhelmed with caregiving, and no longer have your "crutch", i.e. nicotine, to help you cope. I AM NOT NOT NOT advocating, suggesting, or advising that you or anyone else go back to smoking. Just throwing around a guess as to why you don't feel better. Aren't you breathing better?
My mother smoked from the time she was 16 years old until they took out a cancerous lung at age 47, and then died from the disease at age 49. I've seen lung cancer up close and personal, and it's not pretty, so there is no way I would ever suggest someone smoke.
Thanks, Joan. I know it was my crutch to help me cope with caregiving. And I won't start again. However, my breathing is the same as far as I can tell. I've walked 2-3 miles per day for the past several years - while smoking - I know it doesn't make much sense, but I did. Now, I don't seem to have the energy to walk that far - when I can get away to walk! Anyway, I know I'm better off.
during my yrs of psychoanalysts i learned my reasons for smoking and i feel they were correct on all accounts. the 'emotional crutch' we use them for, our own insecurities in our lives seem to be subdued with our ability to find something to nurture and fullfil that void. using the suckling sensation that we do as infants as an example. our DNA as humans gives us comfort and security when we nurture our infantile tendancies. i think it can relay back to AD and how our loved ones move into the fetal position in end stages for comfort and security.. its a double wammy to give up our comfort zones during crises like caregiving. but as we know much better for our own health. giving up the cigs are the easy part conquering the emotional reasons for wanting them is the hard part. divvi
Divvi, Thanks for the post, I really am trying to get past the cigs and when I'm stressed I just find myself reaching for a smoke. I tried the nicotine lozenges but the way it delivers the nicotine, it feels like it is too strong, and it's a stimulant, which I don't need, so they have to go. I don't need one more thing to stimulate me , this hubby of mine takes care of that nicely.
My sister-in-law was told she had to quit--heart and vascular ossues big time. She'd tried other means before. But with scare and Dr.'s orders, she used new prescriptioin med (starts with C___). Worked like a charm within a week. DH's sister's started pushing me to put DH on it to "make himn quit".
Reseached it. Still requires mental commitment to quit, and the self-effort to carry through. HE CAN'T DO IT. With multiple rollercoaster changes over the years, we have managed to get him down from 12 cartons a month (1974) to approximately 6 to 6.5 cartons a month and we're still working at it. In his Learning Disabled, Mentally Ill VaD mind he is a smoker. We had him off them voluntarily for 4 months--Nov.4, '06-Feb '07. Then he went after them in a blizzard--walking. Stealing from my purse, selling things for pennies, hitchhiking, pan -handling, crossing 5 lane street comng and going--a real mess. Originally, I was told the heavy smoking and his heavy coffee drinking were ways of self-medicating. Got him off 95% of reg. coffee--only as a treat. The only way to get him off the cigarettes right now, completely, would be to put him in a locked unit. His condition otherwise does not warrant that.
My mother quit cold turkey when I was about 16. My Dad quit when he had his first heart attack--31 days in ICU and they didn't taste good anymore.
I did it the ease way--Never started. Yet, I'm faced with the issue of quiting. Go figure.
I stopped smoking cold turkey in 1986.For me EXERCISE was the key.It was hard but not as hard as I thought it would be.I was not dealing with alzheimer's though.Alzheimer's makes everything very hard.GOOD LUCK!!
I used to be a QUITER!!!!! I would try hard to quit for a few days and then quit tryng. I never went one day without stealing at least a little puff. finally, after many unsuccesful attempts I made it for one day. Then------my pride kicked in and I began to likie myself. I said if I can go one day by myself, letl's go for two. I made it and my self respect, my pride continued to grow until I am now fully recovered and I like myself again. I realized that I had to be man enough to do it myself. I could not depend on any pills, patches, candies, etc. I had to do it myself. \
YOU CAN DO IT. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!! I believe in you. bill E
I think the secret is to just COMMIT AND THEN MAKE IT HAPPEN! The Navy taught me to smoke in boot camp by selling cigarettes real cheap and then having periodic "smoking breaks" from our marching or whatever, and I smoked for 25 years thereafter. I'd made several attempts to stop via New Year's resolutions, etc. (resolutions come easy after a big night of smoking and drinking and the resultant hangover), but I'd always find some excuse to start back a few months later. But the clincher for me was when my Dad died from lung cancer, so I just quit then and there and told everybody that I'D QUIT (I didn't tell them that I was just "trying to quit"), and then made it stick. Not all that hard, really, when the alternative would have been to look like to some sort of ninny to everyone after telling them that I'D QUIT!
In my career I frequently had to advise patients to stop smoking. I found that if the motivation is high enough, just about anyone can stop. The problem is getting motivated. Sometimes it took developing lung cancer, when it was too late. It's also interesting the number of patients who would tell me that their family doctor had advised them to "cut down". I would say, very forcefully, that they needed to STOP. Often, just being that authoritative would do the job.
Same situation applies to weight loss. You have to have the desire and drive to keep after it and make a lifelong committment if you are going to be sucessful long term. I am working at losing some weight and trimming down. It has taken me a year to get enough motivation to seriously start again. Before that I was a lifetime member of WW and that is a good program. I need to lose more now than ever before in my life and quite a daunting job.
Any ideas on motivating the dementia patient to stop? With a 3 fold mental incapacity my DH is "in his mind-- a smoker" and that's what I'm dealing with. He will (has) endangered himself to get cigarettes when they weren't readily available.
He has, in the past agreed to try quitting, but nothing has worked because he hasn't the ability to stay with it.
The only time he has been, effectively off them, was when hospitalized.
It's occurred to me that I should sue the manufacturer's for selling him on smoking, when was incapable of an informed decision, and make them supply him for as long as necessary, since I can't get him off them.
Carosi, I don't have any ideas for a patient with dementia. I guess one way to look at it is that they already have a terminal disease and if they get any pleasure out of smoking it might be worth it. My only concern would be what the second-hand smoke is doing to you. Could you get him to go outside to smoke?
My FIL died of AD in 1991. He had been a life-long smoker until about 1968. He became a Christian and quit smoking. However, he took up Copenhagen. He always had a wad in his lip. Disgusting habit. After he developed AD and was in a NH, they kept his Copenhagen in the refrigerator and only let him have ie once in a while.
Our son got fed up going and getting it for him and he just threw it out. Told the nursing staff to not buy any more for him. Poor FIL was forced to quit tobacco cold turkey. Boy, was he unruly for about 2 weeks.
But he lived for 3 more years and died at 91 with no cough, no emphasema, no lung cancer.
I thought our son was a bit overbearing that day, but I guess he knew best and i've always praised him for being so proactive.
Good luck! It can be done and you won't die. It may feel like you're going to die, but you probably won't. :)
Maybe you could buy the cigarettes that will go out if left laying unused. I know they have them in parts of the country. they probably cost more, but you could maybe make a deal where he can smoke, just less often.
I am reminded about one time when my 3 yr old son was asking me one night when I was putting him to bed----Daddy, why don't you quit.???? I told him I hac tried to but it was real hard. He reminded me that he had just quit sucking his thumb a few weeks ago. I asked him-----How did you do it so easy???? He said----I just put it under my pillow!!!!!!! end of story
The rules are: he does not go after cigarettes on his own. He does not pan handle, hitch hike, steal from my purse or sell things ($12 for a chain saw?) he only smokes on the enclosed front porch, outdoors, or in the garage. Gnerally there is at least one window on the porch open when he's out there. When the doior to the house is open (Spring, Summer, early Fall) afan runs--blowing everything out the windows, away from the inner house.
My end: I will keep him supplied with a limited number of cigarettes. He will not run out. I dispense them to him.
My logic: I had to weigh immediate dangers against long term possibilities. Crossing a 5 lane street twice to go get cigarettes; nearly collapsing from exertion at the 8 block total trip; hitchhiking; . . .
Slowly we are reducing the volume. In 1974 he smoked 12 cartons a month. He was down to between 8-9 12 years ago, when his mother died. He shot up to 13 cartons, and we hauled that back right quick. Right now we are down to approximately 6 1/2 a month.
Dr.s have told me this has been a method of self medicating for years, before he had any Dx.s I really think the only way he'd be off them completely would be in a locked unit. I don't think smoking would be a justifcation for that. Oh, and can't you just see how family advice to "make him quit." "Just tell hm he can't have any more." would work?
I am glad that is working out. None of us want to see memory loss but that is one memory I am sure you would not miss.
My mom smoked until she forgot. My sister, her CG, when asked what happened to her cigarette would tell lie and say she already smoked it, or you ran out and I will get more when I go into to town next; or I forgot to get them, etc. until she just forgot all together about them.
my brother is caring for his father in law, nursing home bound, and had been a lifetime smoker at 87yrs old. nursing home didn let him smoke but they let him behind the bldg if one of the aides took him-he was dying last yr and so they decided to bring in hospice, took him off every med he was taking and let him smoke all he wanted after moving him to their home, so he could be happy his last months. today 12mos later , hes off hospice, doesnt take one med anymore and smokes outside and in very good health. made a total rebound-divvi
divvi, smoking doesn't seem to hurt some people. I've seen several very old people still smoking and seemingly in good health. Same thing with eating the wrong foods. A relative of mine lived on bacon, sausage, eggs and gravy for breakfast, hamburgers for lunch, cheese & crackers for snacks and roast beef & gravy or fried pork chops for dinner. He died shortly before his 100th birthday. My DH, on the other hand, never smoked, eats mostly fruits and vegetables, lives a clean life and has high BP, had a heart attack, and has AD. Maybe it's the genes we're born with?
Yes we are here again. We did the rationing and limited locations. Then DH requested another round of meds to quit. He finished them in early Feb. While smoking there was a discernable correlation between his smoking and the frequency and severity of TIAs directly relating to his decline. He has VaD. I am his Guardian, his Caregiver, his wife. My role is to keep him as relatively healthy and safe as possible. If deprived of his smokes he will elope (go walk about)to get them. The nearewst store is about 4 blocks away across a 5 lane street. He doesn’t walk fast enough to make the crossing in one light. He seldom uses his cane and won’t use his walker. Long ago I promised him I’d do my best to keep him home, that only something drastic would make me change that. He is not going to understand and will believe I’ve broken my word, because on April 14th we are going to his Neuro’s Office for a Med. Evaluation—in reality the first step in Placement. I just plain cannot fight through the smoking battle again. Without his cooperation, I cannot keep him healthy and safe here at home. He cannot—must not—smoke. He doesn’t understa nd or retain this. There are many feelings running over me now. The anger hit first—anger at VaD stealing more. Frustration that he doesn’t get it and that even when he gets a glimmer it doesn’t stick. Sadness that I can’t keep him home. But never Guilt. I didn’t cause this and am doing what I must to responsibly take care of him. He won’t see it that way. I can’t help that. Right now I’m tired. I need the help Placement will provide. The one thing I know is that VaD will not win. It will take him, but he will go with dignity and love, and I will remain.
Everyone who knows Carol and understands her personal challenges can only stand up and applaud her for all she's done for her DH... She is an amazing woman, and no one will EVER say she should have done this or that... because, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I know that she already did! Do what you have to do, my friend - I agree that you've reached that 'line in the sand' we all know well.
Carol you have done an outstanding job of caring for DH for so long. its hard enough for those who dont have the challenges you have. you've been a supertrooper for so very long , its a relief to hear you are going to get him/you the round the clock help you both need. hang in there friend, know we are here to help you thru yet this next phase. divvi
Anna, I too quit smoking 20 years ago,however,I would be afraid the nicotine gum would start me up again. I quit cold turkey after MANY years and exercise was a great help,plus a great desire. Oh before I forget,I went to the library and got all the self help books they had.GOOD LUCK!