This has been the strangest two days yet! My husband simply cannot wake up! He hasn't taken his meds because I cannot get him to swallow. I tried to wake him up at noon today because the Real Estate Agent had scheduled an Open House 2-4. He stumbled around and managed to get dressed (he CAN usually dress himself) while I made the bed and tidied up the bathroom behind him. He managed to get to his chair and fell asleep again with a bite of food in his mouth. I had to set that food away. He even refused his juice. Wouldn't open his eyes. I led him to the bathroom to pee, and managed to get him into the car so we could be gone during the open house. He slept the entire 2 hours in the car and I darted here and there running little errands, depositng money in the ATM at the bank, and getting gasoline for the car. Now we are home, I tried to get him to drink some sweet lemonade, and he couldn't hold his lips around the glass. I need to buy him a sippy cup.
I don't believe I have ever read anyone posting about this deep sleep mode. He is so atypical when looking at AD Stages. He's diagnosed as Severe, had difficulty speaking, but is continent, (except for occasional little wet spots on his khakis) He walks with a cane short distances, and hates to leave home. This new sleep pattern has grown from dozing most of the time. and naps to what appears to be a drugged sleep. He isn't getting into meds, I know for certain. They are "hidden".
I fear a UTI is in his immediate future if I can't get liquids into his system.
nancy i too would be thinking of taking him into the ER. that doesnt sound good if its a deviant that far from his norm. he could have had a stroke. or he may already have a bad uti. if hes been that way all day i would worry. can you call his reg dr and get a callback?? he will probably say to take him in to check him out.. sorry this is happening. divvi
He just agreed to eat some banana pudding I had prepared, and had no trouble whatsoever swallowing it. He walked into the kitchen earlier and looked around (he said for nothing in particular)..and I poured him another glass of fruit juice. He took a sip and put it down. Again, no trouble swallowing at all.
I'm keeping a close eye on him and already have a call into his neurologist.
Thank you everyone! for being here with me. I'll let you know what she says.
The constant sleeping is similar to my hubby, check into dibetic issues, diabetic coma etc. I know hydration is ultra important, so offer him these fruit flavored waters without sugar and carbs. My hubby loves them like pop but they're so much better!
My wife sleeps all the time if nothing is going on. Right now she is in her chair snoring. But if I can get her up to do something, even watch the news, she wakes up and pays attention. I think the problem is boredom.
His eyes are beginning to brighten up (before they were matte-like) and he has been up a little more. Still coaxing him to sip some liquids. He is answering me (in his way) when I ask him questions..and so he is cognizant. This morning he seemed to be deeply drugged. He's had TIA's in the past, and usually passed out or fell. This one could have occurred when he was still in bed. MMarshall, there's no reason he couldn't have had a TIA in his sleep is there?
I compare nursing AD spouses to bringing babies home from the hospital the first time. Most of us begin these journeys totally unprepared. I just go with my gut and do what "feels right". It felt right to sit this out a little longer. I believe that taking him to a Houston Emergency Room on a weekend would be an absolute nightmare for him. The waiting, noise and confusion is not a pleasant thing for AD lpeople. I think it was a medium sized TIA and it's over. He has had polycythemia vera for over 15 years, so we've been through this before. OyVey!
Dazed, The Realtor said there were two very good prospects among the others. One stayed almost an hour and took notes..and will call her this week. Ya' never know. Some people come to open houses to find a perfect home, others get decorating ideas, others "case the joints". oooh noooo! It's a tough market.
Marsh, thank God! my DH doesn't snore all the time. Only when his allergies kick in.
Shadowbaby, (cute!)... He has extensive blood work several times a year. No diabetes. I DO believe that his lack of proper hydration is a major problem, and I try every kind of liquid drink I can find. He just doesn't want to drink liquids period!!!
Try gatoraide. That is all my sister could get my BIL to drink except his mocha which he rarely got. But, she would have to squirt it into his mouth to force it but once in his mouth he would guzzle it as fast as she could squirt/squeeze.
My husband sleeps all the time too. so much so that he doesn't have time to eat or drink. He has an ensure in the AM, and then usually goes back to bed Whoever said boredom, I think that's a big part of it. Today, I came home from church he was 'cleaning' the garage.... he came in then to have his ensure and a danish, went to sleep and slept til dinner. Watched a few shows and was asleep by 10. I think all in all he was awake about 4 hours out of 24. But this is not new, I've been talking about it for years. The doctors kind of shrug it off. Seems some with AD sleep a lot. At least when he's sleeping he's not asking repetitive questions or talking about people he knew when he was 14. Did soandso die? Who knows.
It's Monday morning..and my husband appears to be OK. I'm as certain as I can be that he had a TIA and as with the others, it's passed and he's fine. No sign of weakness, he's walking better and ate his breakfast.
I appreciate everyone's concern and opinons. You hit it on the dot with suggestions of the TIA. Joan, we need Special Certificates to frame and hang on the wall proclaiming our skills and talents in dealing with Alzheimer's Spouses! We're our own physicians and I believe we know as much (or more) about the reality of AD as any medical person.
Chris R, I have told his Neurologist that he sleeps more than he is awake, and she doesn't even make a note of it as we're talking. His sleeping has gradually increased over the past two years from light naps in his chair to deep sleeping back in his bed for 4-5 hours every afternoon. He gets up between 10-11 in the mornings and goes to bed no later than 7:30-8:00 at night. I agree he is bored, but he is not interested in puzzles, games, TV, conversaton, - he doesn't even want to sit outside in our beautiful 78 degree sunny weather. He's stuck in his AD world. Love, Nancy
((Nancy)) I am soooo glad to hear your DH is doing better today. Scary isn't it? ACCCCCK As Divvi said, I have had more than my share of TIA's. I am 41 and have had 9 bad ones. (but not one since I had to place him in the NH!) All of mine were from the extreme stress of trying to deal with Lynn's aggression and abuse. All of mine were triggered in the heat of one of his attacks on me. But, you can have them in your sleep.
I am glad you called his neurologist. There is little the ER can do, so I rarely ever took Lynn. Always had horrible experiences with him. It is better I think, if not an immediate emergency - to have them check by their regular doctor. Does the doctor want to see him? I am still wondering about a UTI. Lynn would get lethargic when he had one building. Keeping you both in my thoughts ((hugs)) Nikki
Nancy glad DH is better today! it very well could be the TIA. i think my DH had one looking back about a month ago. did the same thing was so sleep all day i couldnt wake him up. and could barely open his eyes. sounds like what yours went thru. at nite he seemed recovered and ate a big dinner..thinking abou ti t now i will know what to look for -our neuro did the same thing never wrote that down. says as the disease advances they will sleep more and more. thats wonderful you have been TIA free so far nikki. best of health to you. divvi
Hoooooboy! As this day progressed, he was talking up a storm. Wondering what ever became of their big project in downtown Houston, they had all the financing in place and in spite of the fact that hundreds showed up in support, suddenly, he hasn't heard a word. Then he wondered when the International delegation was arriving and insisted I check on their itineries, and on and on and on. This is the first time he's had this symptom. He still has troublepronouncing words and so I had to listen carefully to what he was asking (and fill in blanks)..This went on for about three hours. I have no idea where this came from..he was never a commercial developer! He was today!... He was completely in another place at another time. I just played along - why not?
I'll admit though that I wondered if a passing clot might have caused these delusions. It was totally wierd!
Why haven't you taken your husband very quickly for a medical evaluation? Why enter the information here that he is not eating, drinking, or waking up? I agree with Joan, it seems like a 911 call to me.
Nikki just put it well, when she said there is little the ER can do, and she did call his neurologist. As someone else said, I always mention to the doctor the tremendous amount of sleeping, and they don't even write it down. I have been told that it is not at all peculiar for them to sleep, and sleep and sleep. My Dh gets up sometimes for breakfast, and needs to go right back to bed after his Ensure. We have to sometimes trust our own judgement.
Lily, now THAT is a good reason to go to the ER in a case like Nancy's. But frankly it is the only good reason.
It is hard to accept, but they are not going to get better. This month my husband had a bad Full Moon event. It sounds to me like Nancy's husband had one too if you go by the time of the month it happened. My husband just got very confused for several days and is now all the way bad to what his normal was. After a while you realize that these things happen.
Same situation I had with my Mom. After the 3rd. Paramedic call we all decided to watch closely and let things ride. In our case we all think it was TIA but ER didn't do a thing except watch for a few hours after 6 or more hours waiting. End result the same.
Lilly, He has had dozens of these episodes, in various stages. Very mild to severe. Most of the time he'd have a brief period of unconsciousness or his legs would buckle and he would fall. A few times, he'd simply demonstrate a strange expression on his face and in his eyes...and his speech would be garbled. We've been to the hospital so many times, and most of them followed a 911 call.
Without exception, they would not be able to find anything, after endless waiting, x rays, CT scans and blood work. They would say, "More than likely, it was a TIA.!! This has been going on for about 16 years.
Lilly, I am sure many people agree with you and believe I was remiss in not calling 911. Looking at him now, I believe I made the right decision. If he had died, I'd be blaming myself for not calling for help. He is in the later stages of AD and there are times the AD mimics a stroke, with his inability to chew, swallow, walk etc. I weigh the options. Should we call 911 or take him to the hospital in a major city on a weekend when the waiting rooms are jammed to excess, deal with his distress at being in a strange place and with sickly people coughing, vomiting and spewing bacterial infections into the air, or risk keeping him home and watching him. This time, my gut told me to keep him home. He's still dillusional, but was eating and drinking again yesterday. I'm just doing my best and most of the time, we muddle through. Thanks for your concern. I do appreciate everyone's support. (whew! know the feeling????)
I have to add this. I didn't call my children....I ran to my computer and told all of you !!! That would sound totally irrational to many people, but it seemed, under the circumstances, the right thing to do at the moment. That just shows how much the cybersupport means to me. I needed to tell YOU! My children are all over the USA, and they would have said, "Ohhhhhhh, what are YOU going to do! You guys were right there with suggestions, advise and comfirmation. Thank you so much.
Nancy, you just pissed me off!!! .."If he had died, I'd be blaming myself for not calling for help"... DON'T YOU DARE blame yourself! We each do what we think best for our spouse in each situation each day! Under horrible stress! Plus you have your own health issues! You have done a wonderful job! AND, as we who have been there know, the hospital can't do anything but run tests, watch him, and release him, still not knowing what happened. It's the AD and it sometimes mimics strokes (or they have mini strokes) and sometimes they think it might be TIA. Our spouses are not going to get well. They are going to get worse. When they pass, it will not be because we didn't call 911!!!! Continue following your instincts and know you have done the best you can! ((((HUGS))))
Nancy, I agree wholeheartedly with Mary. You did what you had to do - and it was right. No blame anywhere. This disease is what it is and no one is going to fix it. You are doing a great job in caring for him. ((((More Hugs))))
Nancy, you get my vote for having done the right thing! While I haven't faced a situation just like you described, I've declined to seek emergency care for my own Dw on at least three occasions when she lapsed into unconsciousness -- probably only small TIAs, because she recovered within moments.
i guess where i am going with this is the issue of 'benign neglect?lets say you see your spouse may be having a stroke or tia and you chose to not call 911 as did nancy? i mean i agree they dont do anything in the ER even if it was, but for legal reasons can we be help 'accountable' if they should die for not calling 911??
Divvi, your question is valid. But if I were to guess, he must have had this little TIA (IF IT WAS a TIA) in his sleep.
I wonder if one of his absentee children might be inclined to say (if, God forbid, he had died) , .............
"Why weren't you awake and watching him throughout the night,.. and been able to notice immediately if he appeared to have had a stroke in his sleep... and why didn't you call for help without relying on your unqualified knowledge of stroke medicine to know the difference in a mini stroke or a major stroke".
I'm not being facetious when I say this. It could happen!
I'm his third wife..(18 years and counting). He divorced their mother, remarried a woman who died 2 years later, and then married me two years after her death. His children's lack of caring and outright tackiness has long since taken a seat far, far back in the rear of my bus.
exactly why i am asking:) its one thing is you didnt see things or are unaware of any major issues. but my question is if they would have a heart attack or stroke in front o f you -would we chose to call 911 or is this condisered 'no heroic means' ... i am confused. i would like to know what others would do in this scenario. divvi
I also agree with Mary that Nancy did the right thing. I wouldn't want my DH to be saved from a stroke. It would be a blessing that would keep him from going through the terrible end stages of AD. The liability issue is interesting though.
Nancy, I agree with the others that what you did was correct. Another decision we all have to make is when to stop "treatment", such as antibiotics, blood pressure medicine, etc. Most of us have expressed the feeling that we would rather have our LO die of a heart attack or stroke than suffer through stage 7 AD. Whenever I think about this, I try to remind myself that my decision will be based on my wife's needs, not my stress as a caregiver. There is a discussion thread on this somewhere. Maybe someone can find it and bring it up.
I suppose, legally, it would have to be determined whether or not you were "negligent" or "abusive" - whatever the definitions are for those terms. If that were determied to be the case, I suppose someone (child??)could bring a suit against you - not sure about all that. I know people die all the time at home from strokes or heart attacks, etc., and I don't think I've ever read of lawsuits about negligence or abuse (unles they were being abuse).
Yeah - we don't have enough to worry about, do we???
The medical POA gives you the decision making; the living will does too, but I have heard of some instances where the paperwork wasn't in the patient's file......
Divvi, earlier you pointed out the question of liability...I guess those of you with step-children would possibly have a concern. However, since we all know that they are going to die anyway, and there is no hope for recovery, how could anyone hold any of us liable or prove that not taking them to the hospital killed them? They couldn't. I would not be concerned about the ramifications - knowing that I had done what my spouse would have wanted.
Food for thought: when you take them to the ER, they do nothing but observe, maybe run some test. They call this 'practicing' medicine. They have no idea so have to go through the process of elimination just like we do for out LO. Big difference we usually know our spouses better than they do. They practice with a license - we practice with our heart.
As I said earlier,... I have an entire bus-full of worries, concerns and stress-givers. (Picture rows and rows of seats, with the most important issues sitting up close to me, the driver. His absentee children are sitting on the far back row of this imaginary bus. ... and the back door of that bus is unlocked.. :-)
I'm with you Nancy. I have too many other concerns to let this be one, considering our wishes and this is a terminal disease. I have his POA for Medical. Weird things happen all the time but you cannot prevent everything from happening or not happening, lawsuits, etc. Remember the woman who sued Mc because she burned herself with the coffee.
Stepchildren seem to be a ongoing problem that I have no experience with. Who knows what someone else would decide to do but I would think the odds would be slim for it to happen.
I was only responding to a thread called, he won't wake up, drink or eat. Sorry to ruffle so many feathers. IF YOU WERE REALLY CONCERNED, then all I was suggesting is that the ER will give IV fluids, since he wasn't DRINKING. You were concerned that you couldn't get fluids into his body.