Dazed. Thanks. You are probably correct. I feel guilty that I don't have the will power to overcome this. Sometimes I would like to have a stiff drink. Then I remember that I have to keep my wits about me in case I have to get to the ER. After many trips, I know I have to be able to drive safely so O'douls is the best I can do. I guess eating is my replacement for something stronger.
I grew up in a large family - thus the fast eating. Ate fast for two reasons: to get food and to finish to get back to playing. I have slowed down some, but not much.
They have proven there are people who do not burn the fat but just build muscle under it. I am one of those.
Okay folks, here it is - the article you have been waiting for - "Dieters’ best intentions hijacked by their brains". I'm not making it up. Copy and paste - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30312808/
Dazed, I kind of drooled over those cookies too. But, end of first full day I am proud of myself. Now, if I could just continue doing this good for 6 months, I would feel a lot better and it would be easier to tie my shoes.
Did anyone see Oprah on Thursday? 3 cheers for Kirstie Alley for admitting how difficult the weight battle is. As soon as the Jenny people stopped coming to her house to weigh her and make her accountable to millions of people, she fell off the wagon. When Oprah asked her if she ever considered the weight loss surgery, she said that they can "bypass" the stomach, but unless they can "bypass" the brain, it wouldn't do her any good. Food is an addiction as surely as cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol.
By the way, my "Habits, not Diets" book came this week, and all that I learned from the first book is coming back as I read the new one. Everyone is different, and the same approaches don't work for everyone, but I like this one. It worked for me once, and the habits stayed with me for a long time. I'm going to give it another go. If anyone is interested in it, I put the Amazon link to it on the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - on the right hand side.
In the past if I was stressed over something, I would not eat. However, for some reason since I have been dealing with the stress of dementia, I tend to eat more than I need, especially junk food. Thankfully, I must have a high metabolism & haven't gained on ton of weight.....I am sure it will catch up with me sooner or later though.
I have never been so sick, or upset that I couldn't eat. When my mother was dying of cancer, I gained 2 lbs for every one she lost. Now, as my DH loses weight because he's never hungry, I have also gained. When he yells at me for no reason, I usually go for chocolate, but it's better than grabbing a bottle of vodka (lol). We deal whichever way we can.
I really think, although she denied it, that Kirstie Alley hit a hard plateau just above her goal weight and had begun to gain BEFORE she left Jenny. At least, at the time, that was what I thought had happened. At about the same time, the same thing was happening to me.
I had lost 100 pounds on South Beach. Hit that hard plateau still above 200 pounds and gained back 50 of them. Managed to stop the skid and even lose a few pounds just trying to pay attention to how hungry I was and when I was full.
Just about everyone gains the weight back. I've been looking at maintenance blogs, but don't know if even huge efforts can stop it. And if you use major amounts of exercise as the way to keep the weight off, as several of the people on these blogs are trying to do, sooner or later the body will give out.
It's interesting: I'm certainly overweight, very close to "obese" - and have been this high before but had lost about 30-40 lb and it took close to 10 years to gain it back. Now I'm trying to get down again (I just don't want to buy new clothes!). I see an internist, a cardiologist, and the other day an orthopedist. NONE of them, who have known me for years, have said LOSE WEIGHT. They may agree with me if I say I know I need to lose weight, but they basically don't seem to think it important/feasible...
The problem is Ben & Jerry's. My daughter buys it and I can't resist taking a wee smackerel here and there.
Re: What you said about paying attention to how hungry you were and when you were full - The basis of the "Habits not Diets" book is to teach people to listen to their bodies. Eat what they want (as opposed to rice cakes and carrots), but only when they are truly very physiologicaly hungry, and to stop when they are no longer hungry (as opposed to eating until our eyes pop out). The theory is that if you take away the "forbidden food" idea, and can eat whatever you want, you won't be binging on the forbidden foods. There's a lot more involved - it's a 21 week program of behavior change. It worked for me 30 years ago - the weight stayed off; the behavior changes stuck; and all was fine until I returned to work about 4 years later. My whole life and schedule changed, and the weight gain began...........and is still going on. I'm reading the new book, and hope I can get back on track.
Different methods work for different people, as evidenced by a talk show - don't remember which one - maybe Oprah. Many many years ago, proponents of this theory were on a talk show promoting a similar book. Boy, did the audience lambaste the authors to the wall. More than one person got up and said (screamed) that they had read the book, followed the advice of eating whatever they wanted, and gained tons of weight. The authors tried to explain that along with eating what you want, you had to institute the other behavior changes - like listening to your body's true hunger signals, eating at a table, not in bed, at your desk, in front of the tv, etc., learning to substitute other activities for food and on and on. The people were having none of it. They kept yelling at the authors.
i certainly can relate to emotional eating. i am a sugar addict plain and simple. and if you are too it may not be so simple to counteract this addiction. dopamines and endorphins are released during sugar consumption and it creates our temporary 'feel good' highs. after a few hrs it wears off and creates the emotional need of another 'dose' to offset the depression that can set in like like an addict. i recently went off all sugar to try to jumpstart my diet as sugar/carbs are my major issue. i went thru withdrawal symptoms bigtime for about a week. once the sugar was out of my system i felt much better but getting there was not fun. it lasted 6wks and i am now back to eating sugar again. caregiving and the need for 'feel good' therapy goes hand in hand i do believe thats why so many of us are overweight and yoyo dieters while on this journey. its a constant battle at least for me. divvi
Thanks, divvi, I have been becoming aware of my crazed sugar addiction again (after having been "good" on a low-carb diet for a while and falling off the wagon) and you are inspiring me to try to kick the sugar again. Starting tomorrow -- LOL
ok i can do it again. i get sidetracked and go back to sugar as a comfort food knowing how hard it is to take back off..sigh... why is this sooo hard? ok, imohr i am joining with you again as of tomorrow am! and yes i did feel soooo much better and more energy divvi
I was on a medically supervised liquid diet with a local hospital. I lost 50 pounds and all of my blood work was fine, but I kept fainting. They put me in the hospital, took me off the liquid diet and told me to gain ten pounds. Well, I sure was compliant to that medical request.
But, being serious, it is hard for me to have to think about food so much when trying to eat in a healthy manner. I keep telling myself that food is fuel = like gas for my car and that every meal that I eat does not have to be a "party in my mouth." The fact is in my head, but hasn't won me over yet completely.
I wish that I could remove all the food from my house and that someone would come three times a day and push it through the door for me like they do in jail.
You know what really does the trick? Having a dh with Alzheimer's plus diabetes. He compulsively raids the fridge and the kitchen cabinets so I had to stop buying the bad stuff.
(Well, i have a few well-hidden stashes, but since they are complicated to get at . . . I have to be really motivated.)
That jail reference had me laughing out loud. But how true.
Jeanette - hiddens stashes? Why, my goodness, I never heard of such a thing! (LOL) HA! Once in awhile I forget where I stashed things, but I always manage to find them.
If my husband's Alzheimer's Disease suddenly disappeared, my emotional eating would not go with it. I have had my problem longer than he has had his. His AD is not the cause of my problem. The stress from it does make my eating worse, but if he did not have AD, there would be other stresses to cause me to eat. Or not. I eat when I'm happy too.
To prove Joan's point - I called three people yesterday to let them know I had SOLD! the house. Each and every one came back with a comment similar to "You deserve to celebrate. Go somewhere great for dinner!". Another said, "Wow! That's the call for a big fat steak!"..etc. All of MY people celebrate everything by "eating". What do other people do?? I don't even know!
Nancy, eating is at the top of the list here too. Need to think of something else when I lose the first 5#. Hmmmm. How about a new purse. I need a new one for fall, and I am REALLY picky. Has to have a little pocket on the outside for my main credit card and one for my telephone and one for my keys. Cross over style to hang around my neck instead of my shoulders and just the right size. I just bought a new one for summer in a beautiful pale yellow color soft leather. $100. local but got it on e-bay for $45. Now that is my kind of shopping.
Go on the web, Lois, to Nordstrom's. I just ordered a beautiful bag there, a Dooney Burke, in Burgundy for the fall. It was on sale..Go to: http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3035674?origin=sendtofriend&cm_ven=OrderCorrespondence&cm_cat=TEXTNORD&cm_pla=FriendEmail&cm_ite=265412. I order so many things on line. This isn't what you described at all, but maybe they have others on sale that would be. I've found two Eric Javits bags ($395 ordinarily) on EBAY - New with tags, and got each of them for around $100. Love bargains, don't you?
lmohr, was it here or the other thread you threw down your challenge that we lose 5 pounds in a month? Because I'd like to take that challenge. Should you start a specific thread on it? I began today. I must lose weight - and finally my doctor said now that we know I don't have lung cancer I can lose weight. (dr. humor) I gained 50+ pounds TOTALLY from emotional eating beginning with this AD journey in 2-1/2 years. I'm disgusted with myself. I hate even going out because I can't stand the way I look. So, yep. Count me in for at least 5 in a month.
I believe the reason weight watchers work is that you have to show up and be accountable to someone when you weigh in. Terry's idea is a good one, but I am afraid I would not always tell you the truth if I didn't lose my 5 pounds. I'd pull a token out of my "fiblet case" and use it. I'm so bad about dieting!!!!! And none of my clothes fit comfortably!
I brought this discussion to the top because I was flipping through stories on AOL, and found one about a woman who lost 500+ pounds without surgery, diet pills, or joining a weight loss program. She was on GMA promoting her book about her phenomenal weight loss. It is advertised as inspirational, uplifting, and providing hope to others. I have not read it, but decided to order it. I figure if she could find the motivation to lose 530 lbs (at latest count), I should be able to lose 75.
Did anyone see the GMA episode in which she appeared? Has anyone read the book? I put a link to it on the right side of the home page. As I said, I have not yet read it, but will give you a review as soon as I do.
I had not heard about the book, Joan, I thought you brought this to the top because of your very funny blog about fat people getting AD. Just read this thread again, I think Fat People become caregivers. What do you think? (well, maybe caregivers become fat people, that's one alternative) I have to agree with someone above, whose doctors have not told her to lose weight. i know that I could lose 50 lbs, and not miss it, but honestly, at 66 yrs old, sometimes I like to have a cookie (or 2, or 3, etc)
Joan, About those thin people, watch then in a restaurant...they push food around on their plate and make it look like they are eating but they don't put away as much as one might think.
About all this diet stuff.My Dh could stand to drop some wt. His fighting wt was alway 165 and now he is 206, I want to drop some lubs too. My plan was to do the WW plan..at least it is healthy. My problem is finding what he will eat.. he used to be a very good eater..ate all the healthy kinds of things, veggies were a big part of his diet...now he says " I dont want much..." and won't eat salad, etc..I don't get it. I am the picky eater but now he is out picking me. I just don't know what to serve or how to get him to want to try something he used to like.
I now shop for one and split it. Oh he is on a sweet kick and as a diabetic that is not good..He never used to be a sweet eater so what is this about?
Mimi, I've heard here and elsewhere that an increasing sweet tooth is a common symptom of AD. Their taste function declines like everything else and sweet and salt are the last things that they appreciate.
My husband is also a diabetic and this week the assistant who sees him for it prescribed insulin injections. I'm going to post this on a relevant thread.
My husband would eat candy all day if I let him. Right now he is on a peanut butter and jelly kick. I'm having a hard time getting him to eat anything else. One minute he tells me he is full and the next he comes out of the kitchen eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I'm having a hard time figuring out what to make so he will eat something healthy like vegetables.
I have similar problems with my husband, Deb. We had two dr. appts. today and stopped at a restaurant for lunch. He ate a huge sandwich and soup. We just got home and he's now eating an ice cream bar! This will go on the rest of the day. I try not to keep sweet things like cookies in the house but he's hard to live with if I don't, always asking for something to snack on. He won't eat dinner (of course, I couldn't either after what we ate at a late lunch) tonight but will snack until bedtime. But, you know, I don't think I care anymore about this. If it makes him feel good to eat the stuff, then so be it. I try to keep healthy food in the house, I always have fruit and fruit bars; sometimes he will eat fruit, if I cut it up into small pieces like a fruit salad, but he still will have something sweet right after that. There's little enough left for him to enjoy, so, what the heck, I'll just let him eat it.
As far as any weight issues I might have, I think it was said earlier in this thread that we can't go anywhere anymore, are always home with our spouses, which gives us time to snack. I have always had weight issues, but it was the other way around for most of my life, now I have the opposite problem. I think I felt better the other way.
You are so right about thin people. The head of the speech department where I worked for many years was as thin as stick. She always told us how much candy she ate, and what a junk food addict she was. One day, during a department meeting, I watched her unwrap a full size Snicker's bar and take a bite so tiny, I don't know how she could have tasted it. Half way through the meeting, she took another itty bitty bite, wrapped up the bar, and put it into her pocketbook. ???????????????? In that amount of time, I could have eaten 3 of those bars
I have been reading these posts since my last one a few hours ago and am almost in hysterics at this insanity...If it were not for the diabetes I wouldn't worry so much about his choice of snacks. He used to like everything good for you..now if I buy a small bunch of grapes for him, I end up tossing them out, same with salad fixings, Now if I ask what he would like for dinner...a this or b that I get whatever you want. One day I said I am not cooking until next year and he said he could wait. Is that an Alrighty Then?
Last night he asked what we were going to have tonight? ( why he won't remember but ok) so I said I don't know. I just hate meal planning and cooking. He said well I do most of it! I said no you USED to do most of it and I did the clean up cuz I am picky about clean up..he has not cooked a dinner in at least a year..
So I guess from now on I'll cook for me..and if he doesn't like it he can have PP&J or whatever he thinks might strike his fancy.
After my 50 years or so of yo-yo dieting, I finally figured out that if you can't put yourself first, make yourself more important than anyone else in your world, then dieting will never work. When I could keep that focus, it was so easy to eat right and healthy!!!But that feeling never lasted very long somehow the main focus always turned to someone else and their needs, then the weight just came back on!
I had planned on making a healthy dinner of chicken, veggies, etc. but about an hour before dinner he ate a big bowl of cheetos and announced he wasn't hungry and was "full up". So since I hate to cook I made a frozen pizza instead. My husband ended up eating half of it while telling me how full he was the whole time he ate.
I know what you mean..I don't like Hamburger Helper but that is what was on the menu tonight..He thought it was delicious. I thought it was yucky. I have to get the frozen meat out the night before or..it is breakfast at 6pm.
I agree with the idea that we just get so drained by the day to day sameness of dealing with this disease, and have so little time for ourselves that eventually we don't even remember what we did like to do...my cameras sit idle these days.
I keep snacks in the house because DH has lost over 40 lbs in the last several years. He just doesn't eat. I give him ensure for breakfast, usually with french toast, or a donut or a piece of pie.... because he'll eat that. He sometimes will have a small sandwich for lunch, but only if he didn't have breakfast, and hardly eats any dinner, but will have rice pudding after dinner and ice cream for dessert. If I didn't give him these things he'd be down to 100 lbs instead of 148. (his high was 190, normal was 179 /180). Obviously, I also eat the stuff in the house, becausewho wants to cook when he doesn't eat.
I think a lot of them don't eat much in the way of dinner. My great-aunt used to say, We Have Our Main Meal at Noon, and her sister, my grandmother, used to say, We Eat Dinner at the Proper Time, at Night. But it's certainly all over the world that the main meal, followed by a nap, is at noon or thereabouts. So maybe they're just getting back to that.
I operated under the theory of "let him eat what he wants when he wants - because it doesn't really matter any more" ....so if he wanted desert first, he had desert first....over the first two years after diagnosis, he put on over 20 pounds. The last few months, even with ice cream every evening, and chocolate malts once a week, and eating three meals a day, he's lost that 20 pounds. When they eat and what they eat is one of the few pleasures most still have. My husband now eats what is put in front of him - and doesn't know taste, doesn't know if it is hot or cold...it is just something to do....so sad.....
I'm glad I had my theory when I did.....I loved spoiling him...and it came in handy...
I just finished "703" by Nancy Makin, the book I referenced above about the woman who lost 530 lbs. on her own.
If you are looking for a diet plan, this isn't it, but it is one of the most inspirational books I have ever read. This woman weighed 703 pounds, spent over a decade isolated in her apartment. Her background story is fascinating - the emotional abuse she went through as a child is unbelievable.
I think anyone who is an emotional eater will relate to the message in this book. I can't say that you will be able to do what she did, but just the idea that she did it, is enough to make me think that anything is possible - not only losing 1/4 ton of weight, but surviving as an AD caregiver. I have put the link on the right side of my home page for anyone who is interested.
Lack of exercise is one reason we add the weight....which leads to joint problems and other health issues which leads us to sitting which adds more weight. I'm just tired!!! Got a Wii Fit Plus for Christmas (my request) and was doing really well at getting in some exercise every day which I desperately need. But then the interruptions started and that was that. It is fun to do and can be a help to your loved one. My DH will bowl on it. I have to show him each time what he is to do but it does pass the time.
We also bought a Wii for Christmas. My hb will do it I do but I like to play by myself more than with him. I should be use to this cause most of our married life he would only do something if I did. We packed it up the last time we moved the MH, I need to set it back up. I like playing tennis against the computer.