My gosh, I have heard from others about some rift that went on that was deleted before I could read it. I was told I was fortunate to not have read it. Divvi was only trying to encourage the new people on this site to post & not be shy. Of course it is their choice or not. I have been so busy, I still don't know all that happened, but please don't judge others who have been valuable members to this site. I really don't know what's going on, but it doesn't sound like a good thing.
Between work and selling the house (contract signed today) I guess I missed a lot. Believe me, we are here to support all, each other. I go for a long time not posting, but then after a peaceful lull, the dementia rears it's ugly head & I feel the need to post. This site is my safety net for my sanity.
I don't know why Divvi is missing, but of course I would miss her too. What valuable info she has given me often. I talked to my husband the other night about paying taxes, he blew up, but I countered, (based on divvi's info) that this affects me TOO. I told him if he didn't pay his taxes or at least file for an extension, the IRS would come & take all of our possessions out of the house one day & that would be MY possessions too. Now, I wouldn't have known that had it not been for divvi.
What the heck is going on here?
Love to you Divvi, I haven't had time to notice you're missing, but you know I would miss you.
I miss Divvi too! I checked her profile yesterday and it said she had posted 1 hr ago--today it says 9 hrs ago--but darned if I could find her post! Divvi, we're having a crisis here--read the thread I started about my husband being kicked out of daycare! I need your sage advice to be included with everyone else's. Granted, it's not on your special subject (we all know what that is), but you have such a great outlook, I want to hear from you. Please...
thank you, friends, its not my nature to not respond to a direct post- as if you know me, i have issues not posting. but in lieu of some misinterpreting posts meant to bring fun and some entertainment to desperate caregivers,i find myself at a loss for direct input at this point that would offer any direct contribuations-and like joan has said, choose to just read and enjoy others posts for now. due to my initiating a misconstrued post, some of the 'dirty dozen' *which by the way disbanded) got their feelings stepped on thru my post, and i cant forget that they were affected by 'association' and have been nothing but staples here on this site, ready to jump in and help fellow caregivers. like bluedaze said, there absolutely is no preferred or 'elite' in group and everyone here tried their best to remain friendly, upbeat, and respectful to others members feelings. i recall Jane, who was an invaluable member here, offering tremendous needed info here and then she felt she was verbally attacked and we lost her great knowledge. jane? this new group needs you back! so many profitted from her advice and services on medicare and medicade and a miriad of expertise. i read and lurk and enjoy your posts as well and my heart goes out to those of you in pain and need. mary75 update your info i check in to read up how its going for you, kitty, edis, and all the others ofyou who have directly influenced my life as well. there are MANY veteran soldiers here that have so much more to offer than me, and if you are wise you will ask for their advice and input. anyway i wanted to take the time to offer a response and explanation that would satisfy questions. lots of embraces and hugs from one who cares, Divvi
Divvi, Thank you for your comments. Please continue, I need your valuable advice. I would have thought my husband was completely gone & freaked out, when he started talking & laughing with mirror, however, I had read previously that your husband did the same thing.
Divvi, your sage advice was always appreciated by me - and others. I am so sorry for all the misunderstandings, or interpretations, or whatever. This website is a life saver for so many of us who are not as far down the road as many more of you are. My love, prayers, support and many hugs go to you today.
Divvi........ reading posts yesterday there was an empty feeling .... something was missing..... It was you.... you may not realize how important your personality on this board is.... It's not just about all the wise advise... you offer a light heart hearted feeling - approach to this ugly disease.... You showed many how to laugh at and deal with poop..... (just an example) who otherwise was freaking out... You demonstrate how attitude, with a sense of humor in dealing with this disease can ease the frustration... you don't just say you need to pick your battles... you demonstrate in your writing HOW to let go of the little things .........
You are needed as not many people come with a light hearted, upbeat sense of humor like yours... Some may not realize because you can look at things with a sense of humor and and can joke about things that your pain is the same as theirs....it's just easier living with this disease with a sense of humor.....
But I think it's a blessing from God as to help lighten the load we carry... I have a blog that I write stories about our life with this disease with a sense of humor ... Tom reads the stories and thinks there funny....My sense of humor helps him deal with this disease too...
I come here to "validate" my hidden feelings.... and pain...... Divvi... God gave you a gift... you are needed here. Take the time you need to heal you hurt feelings and come back.... That attack hurt me too for you as I knew you intent was in fun.......Miss you! "an oldie lurker" : )
I'm not sure I should bring it up, but if I'm the one who caused hurt feelings, I seriously didn't intend to and I'm very sorry. Please Divvi, do post. I love reading your messages. You've been so helpful as cynfany said - both with helpful practical advice and with humor. I admire your strength and attitude so much.
The same goes for everyone else who posts on this board. I don't know what I would do without all of you.
I would appreciate it if anything I said that caused hurt feelings could be chalked up to my having an awful week. I came close to yelling at someone in our face-to-face support group yesterday about his political views - very glad I restrained myself! I didn't do so well here.
Divvi, I can't post yet what is happening because I'm hurting so badly. It's not that the legal tangle isn't being dealt with - it is, but slowly - it's the attacks by his children and now the Co-committee (an accountant) are wearing me down. The only thing I can think of is that the Co-committee is of their age, is connected socially with one of them, and also, he may be looking down the road at them as being future clients. Now he's offered them a mortgage on one of my husband's lots, which they had first refusal on. Plus an insulting phone call to me because I wanted some info. he was asked by the lawyer to get (He said the lawyer wouldn't have asked him to get it if I hadn't suggested it.) I had to pull him up short and stop his insults. He doesn't answer e-mails - one was designated as "time-sensitive" as I needed the info. for the meeting with the lawyer re. Marriage Agreement Account that you were so helpful with. I got that AFTER the meeting and only because I complained to him. Plus,I've been super-busy with husband who has a number of physical problems, so I've been toddling him around to doctor, dentist, X-ray. He's okay. But dang it, doesn't anyone out there give me credit for anything? Divvi, you may be sorry you asked how I'm doing. But actually, I feel better for having told you, and I see I have posted. On a brighter note, I'm going out-of-town for 2 days. So glad to see you back!!!!!!!!!!
I think everyone has had a very bad emotional week that had nothing to do with who said what to whom - It is just that, because everyone was so raw from whatever was going on in their own lives, everyone took offense at everything.
Healthy, respectful debates are encouraged, but my position has always been, and will continue to be, that these boards are for support and understanding, and I will put a quick end to "bickering" and "arguing".
Sooooo - everyone regroup, calm down, and post when you feel you are ready to do so. We desperately need each other, as no one, absolutely no one - not social workers, relatives, friends, doctors - NO ONE understands spousal issues like another spouse.
C'mon, divvi and everyone else, let's get past this silly business of bruised feelings and misconstrued posts and get back to the serious business of just bolstering each other up with sometimes helpful and other times sympathetic and other times lighthearted posts!
Divvi, I saw some of the original postings and feel badly about what I'm reading today. I haven't been on line for a few days but I want to share this thought with you. If anyone knows the dynamics of a group it probably is you Divvi. This is a group and in every group there are natural leaders and followers. Some people talk more easily, others prefer to listen. We all live in our comfort zone. There are days that I read the postings but don't care to comment. Maybe I just needed a little down time. As you can tell, I rarely leave short messages so when I do post, I can be quite long winded!!! (sorry guys) Each of us has a personality and we are defined by our life experiences. We all have something to offer to this group, some more technical info than others. BUt- remember- we are here because WE NEED EACH OTHER- and that means everyone! So what if some people type more than others. We all have a choice about whether we want to join in or watch. That's what makes this such a wonderful country. Free speach. Free Will. I have never read a posting that I was put off by the person. We all encourage everyone to write whatever is on our mind. So all of you-enjoy this wonderful website that has been a life saver for so many of us. Joang is my hero. Thanks.
OK, everybody, including me take a big breath! You all know it takes very little to make me cry, and I'm doing so right now. I missed this whole miserable mess, thank God. I threw my back out, putting on my sneaker (I have 4 injured discs) and needed to be transported by ambulance on Tuesday. I could not even bring my hand to my face without pain. Parmedics generously medicated me, before moving me. I just got home and cannot believe what I have read. It does seem that many of us had extra bad weeks last week, compared to our usually "just bad weeks. Divvi, my friend, I cannot imagine this site without you. I'm so glad you are taking the time to breathe and regroup. We love that you are "long winded" and funny and compassionate and knowlegeble. I'm stuck here in my recliner, in shock reading all this, in great pain, with only a 9 yr old boy, who tries to take care of me when I ASK and a 61 yr old man, who for KEEPS FORGETTING that I might need something. Of all weeks to choose, I had to pick this one, when my Mom and Daughter are both away! Courtney kept the ship afloat all week but had plans in Massachusetts and I made her go, as she was overwhelmed from Jim's continuing decline and everything else involved in this mess we call life. My Mom will be home tomorrow night. God Bless. See Divvi, I can be long winded too, lol! Arms around girlfriend, we need you.
Oh Susan, how awful! Yes, you picked a bad time for this to happen with your Mom, daughter AND Divvi away! I'm sure glad Divvi and the rest of you were not away when my DH had his heart attack. That's when I really spilled my guts and all of you were right there, holding my hand, lifting me up, encouraging me and I made it through. We're here for you Susan. Keep posting. Love, prayers and hugs.
Boy oh boy, I thought I was having a rough week. I haven't been doing my usual 'lurking' in a while, but I am truly stunned at what I am reading on the boards today. I have no idea what happened last week, but I have to say I never expected anything like this to happen here. Since i can't speak as to what happened, let me just share for a moment. Until I found this site, I was literally drowning in my life thinking I was going thru this horrific AD journey by myself. Each and every one of you on this site has helped me more than you will ever know. I get SO MUCH valuable information, both practical and humorous, you have no idea how it helps me. I take parts from this person, and parts from that person, and before I know it, I have a whole picture. Divvi, my poop patrol friend, your humor has saved me on more than one occasion! I can't imagine these boards without it, and without you. Sunshyne, Bluedaze, Dazed, lmohr, Starling and especially Joang, and all the rest of you who have taught me sooo much, you are my heroes and my inspriration! Please keep coming back with all of your wisdom and knowledge. Many of us depend upon it! Love you all! ~Di
Diane V, you're just precious. I've been here about a year and have learned the heart of Divvi. She will be back to comfort and help Susan L. It's just her nature when someone is hurting.
I think at different times, we all are "leaders" and have something very helpful to add. Thank ALL of you for being here for me. I take what I need and what fits and leave the rest - for later when that particular "monster" comes up in our AD home.
Please come back as soon as you can. I agree with all that has been expressed above, we need everyone. I also do not post every day...but I visit every day. I think I am just checking to see that my friends and support group are still here. It is reassuring to me....like when your children are small and you check them at night to see if they are still breathing, they are and you are reassured! We need you all. Besides I have an odd sense of humor just like you.
Imagine me on my hands and knees, crawling through the West Texas desert ...trying to bring you a glass of wine (or something good to drink). Now that is an ugly site so come on back soon....Ann
aaaaw...Divvi we love your attitude and your wacky sense of humor. All of you have made my life easier and I really like the feeling that this is a family. HUGS for all of you....
Divvi, I miss you and I am afraid that if you do not come back I am going to have to take up the role of "Queen of Poop" and I don't want to do that. I am content being the Princess of Pee.
((Divvi)) as you know I have been away licking my wounds. I just wanted to say, my little poop queen, I miss the heck out of you!!! You are one of the Angels among us..... take as much time as you need... just letting you know I love you ((hugs))
Dear Friends, thank you for your heartwarming comments. i asure you the feelings are reciprocal. I have taken 'respite' time away and thought about the forum of friends who never share a visual but only words.how important words are when you have no image with it-only imagination. Remember when we wre young and had 'bestfriends' and were constantly together sharing every moment good and bad? then out of the blue something ticked one off and you swore you'd never speak again? or when you and your spouse argued and walked around the same house trying to avoid each other, but in your heart couldnt wait to make up=but never being the 'first' to do so??somehow it seems to correlate things here as well. best friends having bad moments. we've spoken before of relationships outside our marriage vows. my old spouse is gone -left only in memory and a human body that encases our love-the irony is now my spouse IS 'Spouse-joans spouse' -truth told ihave many outside relationships going on simultaneously here outside my marriage and they are concentrated on this forum. we look to those here to fullfil whats missing in our own lives. you stimulate my mind, offer intelligent conversation, humor me, offer compassion, wit and optimism for an unknown future. just as my loving spouse has done in the past. is thre any doubt why we cling to each other and find comfort here among ourselves? a super hug to everyone and i missed you terribly even if for a day or two.
ps. i have decided when my obituary needs writing i would love for you guys to write it?? :)) i cant think of anyone better suited than yall. everyone of your comeback posts had me in tears. i think my own family couldnt do it better. :)) i luv you all. divvi its good to be back!
Divvi, you are a very important part of my life! Thank you for being here and for all the smiles you give me, and all the advice you have given me that has made my life so much easier! I loved your post! And I love you!
thank you thank you everyone. as you can see i have been here all day catching up...i am feeling like 'woodstock' with all this love-fest..yall are too nice. back to reading! divvi
divvi, I have been absent for the past two days and don't have a clue as to what happened here. But I must tell you, no matter what it was, I do believe that you are made of loving kindness. My hand is held out to you, dear divvi. Thank you for being you....M