I have been having a problem with getting DH to bathe. Since we are going to dr. this morning I suggested he needed a bath. He said I just took one last night and I told him no it had been at least 3 days since you had a bath. Actually it has been more like a week. He got angry but did at least did get a bath. When every I try to tell him something different then he thinks it is he gets angry and usually goes to bed for 1/2 of the day. I sometimes think it's just better to let things go.
Marilyn65, I have some of the same going on here. DH is starting to be really resistant to the shower. After several days of not washing his hair, I told him that we need to take care of shampooing as he was smelling funky. He got mad, then started to obsess over it, wanting to shower at 2 in the am! I don't get any sleep as it is, this added another wrinkle in the dementia tunnel. I think that it would be easier to let things go....but can you stand it?
been there done that! try sitting them in a chair and using the micro wave heated shampoo caps that are no rinse or the no rinse shampoos at local pharmacy stores. and they also have ones for bath for body as well. works wonderfully when the dont want to get into water. if all else fails and you cant find any of these just sit them down with towels around the chair and give a quicky bath with a warm washcloth and lite soap. i did this for a long time! if you have a shower chair with the hole in the middle it makes it easy to set one of the fluffy bath mats to absorb water and run a bit over their pelvic areas to clean privates. it works pretty good and no hassle of the showers sounds and aggitations. good luck! divvi
Marilyn65,did you raise kids? As our LOs become more childlike as their disease progresses, I think we need more and more to forget about trying to reason with them (i.e. -- it's been three days since you had a bath) and switch to more of a "parenting" type of approach -- cajoling, promising rewards, etc. and then just following through and getting the thing done. I think someone mentioned leaving treats on the shower chair or something like that. I know that what works best for me is to just go ahead and lay out Frances's towel and bath rag and shampoo in the bathroom, get the shower chair positioned, the water warm, the flexible shower hose positioned, the bath mat ready for when she steps out of the shower, deodorant and powder and clean panties on the bed, and then just move her on into the shower with no discussion after a potty trip. I've found it counterproductive to tell her ahead of time about things that are coming up -- she'll just worry and obsess about them needlessly. I realize that your DH probably isn't so far along yet that you have to physically help him shower (as I do Frances), but generally the same approach might work for you -- don't discuss it but just go ahead and lay things out for him and then lead him gently into it. We've also found that Frances is now behaving much like our kids did when they were in their "terrible twos" after they first learned to say "no". Her first response to almost anything is negative or oppositional, but then wait a few seconds and approach the same subject in a slightly different way and she goes along.
I hope your appointment with your new neurologist goes well today -- where is he located?
Kathi, i believe in improvising to the best ability for every situation! where theres a will theres a way. my DH was prolly one of the worst here as far as bathing and shower issues. it was hrs on end trying to cajole him into it. no dice. nothing worked during that period. i had to invent the chair baths for him as a last resort so i could feel good about my caregiving failures-GChipper yep, me again with the 'treats on the chair' trick. now that works pretty good even today:) i dont care if hes eating a wet candy bar nor does he while i give a bath.:) sooner or later, i bet Everyone here will come to the conclusion that reasoning is out of the guidelines at some point, and cajoling, tricking, enticing, lying, and manuvering replaces it! if you want to keep your sanity thru toileting/bathing/personal hygiene, my recommendations is you get them into 'fixed' daily habits before their ability to reason goes they seem to be ok with familiarity if theyve done it enough. they use these no rinse products in hospitals, and a very kind nurse gave me lots to take home. it made a huge difference not to have to fight over cleaniness. i will cajole and entice to my limit then i start using tactic military force to get what i need done. ::))---DH was a capitan in army early on, so he knows i mean business.! anyway, at the end of my saga, i may just do that a book of shortcuts to help out newbies and prepare them for the ungodly issues ahead.. i do think routines are important -Divvi
I think several of us get in with ours when they're being obstinate but I doubt there's much action! I think Divvi's right - make routines constant. Even if he doesn't get really washed down every day, my husband gets in. Used to be I could get him stripped and on the toilet, then go read the paper then and listen for him to pull the shower curtain back after showering. Now it's listen for the water in the shower to turn on and then dash in to make sure he wiped off (not certain at all), let him get in the shower, listen for him to turn the water to shower from just going down the drain, etc etc.. BUt he still knows the routine and will follow it.
I agree with divvi on this one, setting habits early before they "forget" is very important. Looking back, I did okay in some areas (medication) and not so well in others (personal cleanliness). While he was still home, my best bet was to pick the right time and get in the shower with him. That still took quite a while and was a lot of effort. He was very creative with some of his reasons.
I was suprised after he took his bath. He got out got dressed and wasn't mad anymore. As a matter of fact he was in a good mood on our way home from the doctor's office.
Mine also swears he just took a shower when it's been maybe a week. He also is forgetting to comb his hair. So, first thing in the morning, I give him his pills, fix his toothbrush and comb his hair. He washes his face by himself.
He also doesn't want to change his clothes. He wears the same pants and sweat shirt every day for a week. I finally got so I just grabbed them when he took them off and threw them in the wash.
I've also gotten in the shower with him and made surehe gets scrubbed down. He seems to enjoy that but hates to get wet. Does that have something to do with the disease/
well i posted then read vickies warning post about how personal stuff can be floating on the web..i tend to 'foreget' that alot ! that its not just 'us family' here reading so i think i tend to overindulge facts about personal things. i need to stick to the facts, mam'm..!!:) DH would sue my hiney bigtime if he could for defamation of character:)haha..awww... i am still quite rattled as today i got a super wakeup call. i left DH in the back seat as usual with childlocks on doors, and left the car running with A/C for him and ran to the mailbox!! to deposit a letter for all of 30sec. well, you guessed it -in that short time, he locked the doors and i was left shocked and looking in and VERY worried.-- car running, keys in car, and DH laughing at me thru the window and waving. can you hear me cursing and screaming yet??????????? i do think he knows sometimes what a hooligan he is! long story short, my nerves are severly shot after a 30min battle THRU the window begging him to try to understand to press the unlock button on his window. he finally did, i was never so grateful..i could see me having to break the window in my car to get in===ahhhh!!! moral of story, NEVER EVER leave spouse in car without taking your keys!!!!! divvi
re the internet - just google yourself esp. with alzheimer's in the search term.
Divvi, mine locked me out once, and thereafter I never leave the keys in without also partially opening the driver's window. And giving him a serious lecture about not touching those buttons. Something to eat or play with would help too. If it's only to drop stuff in the mail, he won't suffocate if you turn off the AC, even in the summer.
Whose cat? divvi only has chihuahuas, doesn't she? And while I'll grant you a cat might be clever enough to edit posts, I really can't see a chihuahua doing that.
sunshyne, my chihuahua takes exception to your remark. It's true, he's not clever enough, but he takes exception anyway, on principle. It's hard enough weighing only half of what the smallest cat does, without taking guff about his lack of computer skills. <ggg>
not only do my chihuahuas excite easily, i am finding I excite more so lately!! that stint with DH locking the car doors rattled my cage..:) now i am 'nervous excited' about tomorrows tooth pulling..dr says he is going to turn up the juice for me since i need some respite.:) i hope i can drive home..hey! and dont think for a minute those kittycats are smarter than my pooches. my cutie pie goes to the bathroom and rolls over after she pees and wants a baby wipe used!! you can ask her you need a wipe?haaaaaaa-and she yelps and runs to the bathroom and flips over..its hilarious and everyoen loves to see her trick..so there. top that.Divvi ps now if i can get DH to watch her and learn!
Wow, divvi! That's a great trick. Maybe I can get my Boxer, Gabriel, to do that. He already lays on his back and croaks like a frog, we can just add the wipe to the routine. Gee, maybe DH can do that, too. Talk about getting a routine going.
OK-you asked: can be a very small tea pot or a large baby bulb syringe. You use warm salt water-stand over a sink and let the water flow in one nostral and out the other. Much spluttering. Really cleans the sinuses without the usual meds. Just Google neti pot if you need more info.
walgreens has them cheap-i may check this out thanks BD-they do this when you go in for sinus infections in the hospital. my DH has been hospitalized several times with severe infections and severe allergy-he used to say how much better he felt after they salined the passages. not fo rhim at this point but i may try it. divvi
folly, my male is thin and like yours very debonier..but the female is wayyyy over weight and has cleanup issues -thats the reason..ok - done with this thread!i realize we have been wayy off topic here, apolize to everyone and any posts should be in ref to the original theme! these prolly should be moved to the doggie posts! it was sunshyne and bluedaze as USUAL getting in with cat issues again that started it all! i am sorry we will try to stay on topics, Everyone:) divvi ok, at least folly and i were comparing our husbands to the finesse of our 'huas'! :) so we were part on topic.
And the neti pots are for bathing the nose, so that's on-topic, too.
The problem, obviously, came from divvi and the posts she edited.
By the way, many AD patients develop really bad problems with excess mucous formation and post nasal drip. And I've seen recommendations that the neti pots can help them.
Bluedaze, if you would like true grossness, I can give you the links to a couple of those discussions.
I fell asleep during NCIS. What happened? I need my memory 'refreshed.' :) I think DeNoso is so cute. I enjoy that kind of humor but not too much. I like seriousness when necessary. But, he is pretty funny. So is McGee. He's so long suffering....Is Abby ADHD? Deva is sooooo cool. Wish I was like that.
This is in answer to Mawzy's question, and I warn you, the rest of you don't want to know.
The bad guys cut up some corpses to hide them in a mausoleum. The crypt they chose wasn't properly vented, so the gases built up as the corpses decayed. Workers came along to open up that particular crypt for a burial and ... klablooey. Gunk everywhere. Eeewwwww.
I think NCIS is starting to try to compete with CSI for gross-out factor.
bathing is a huge problem for us. He had a routine, he showered every day! Then when the sundowning and aggression came, he lost all hygiene with it. It is a battle. But, one I always win. Something’s are just too important to let slide. He will not let me in the bathroom with him, unless he has a bad bathroom accident. He is afraid of the water.. and he gets soooo cold!! He is so thin... maybe 110 soaking wet. Poor bugger
Re sinus cleaning: I have used an ear syringe and saline instead of neti pot for years. Maybe that would work with AD spouse's sinus issues--I think it's a little less complicated.