hmmm lets see so far in the last couple weeks all the papers that were in filing cabinet have dissappeared.all the spare keys from key rack have gone elsewhere an now my checkbook is missing,an noone knows anything about anything,I hear I didnt do it all day long,must be that @#$% dog
ol don, you have to provide some low hanging fruit, while securing all the stuff that you care about knowing where it is. I have found shoes to be an easy target, easily transportable and easy to gather at the end of the day. Shoes are also good because if you are dumb enough to ask, "why are you carrying those shoes around?", they are easy to dodge when thrown. Important not to include boots in the shoe group; sometimes a lucky throw will hit and boots hurt.
I have two cats and a dog. Cats provide no added value. One my sons refer to as 'spawn of the devil'. At least the dog tells you when there are stangers on the block.
ol don, I don't have that big box with a padlock, but I know people who do. I've got a couple of things hidden (like the extra car keys) and other things in places he wouldn't normally go (my desk mostly which is MY desk and not OUR desk). However, in your situation I'd get a tackle box and I'd get a lock for it and I'd find a way to keep it in a place where she won't move it anywhere.
So the answer to your lock box question is YES. DO IT NOW.
So far this hasn’t happened with DH. The worst was him opening the mail and tearing it all up in the process. However…. The desk has a lock. After that, we have a large metal supply cabinet with a lock. The next step is a lock on the door to the office.
We just did an in-home interview to get help with respite care, and the lady who did the interview gave me a sheet about things to do if we had somebody in our home. One of the things they said to do was to lock up all the valuables, like money, jewelry, medications, etc. (But I’m supposed to leave a vulnerable DH with this person who might steal from me? That’s for another topic, I guess.) When the time comes that we have a caregiver in the home, I do plan to use all the locks on everything. Until then, I’m watching what’s going on with DH, and trying to have some kind of steps ready just in case.
I have been the designated finder of lost items for nearly 40 years of marriage. Don’t know if that was part of this whole thing, or not. But I’ve had a lot of practice looking for things DH lost.
So far, I just keep an eagle eye on what's going on. I'm getting pretty good at it. He's stopped tearing up the mail or losing it. (That was AFTER I had a big meltdown and told him not to touch it anymore.) I really felt bad about that. His feelings were so hurt.
And, FYI, I keep the checkbook in my purse at all times. So far, no problems. Let's keep hoping!!
Bluedaze, Your tooooooo funny! Thanks for the giggle!
ol don, This hasn't started for us, well maybe I should say just a little, but when my FIL began his adventure's, I thought my MIL was going to go nuts. Have you checked the toilet tank? My FIL hid lot's of stuff in there. They get very creative. I am not looking forward to this adventure any more than the the Velcro stage. But I have started locking important things up so that when "he" strikes I am prepared. Things that I find he has an interest in such as where's the gun, where's the truck title etc, have all gone into a safe place that he has no idea where to find. May ask me, but so far seems to be ok with my answers.
I have also let my bank know whats going on so that in the future if a problem arises they will be more flexible helping me resolve the lost check book, etc. I guess all I can say, is you have to stay one step ahead of them. Hang in there, I know it's frustrating. Rk
Jan K, locking valuables up when respite care comes may be for their protection rather than yours. They don't want to be accused of stealing something if it goes missing.
ol don, have you checked your wife's undwerwear drawer, or maybe any purses that she might have hanging in her closet behind her clothes -- those were Frances's "safe" places to hide things when she was still rational about such.
I got so good at hiding things like car keys that sometimes I forgot where I put them. My fear was that hubby would find them and remember for the time he could grab the keys and take off. I put them in different places each day. As I've said before-the usable memory may be gone=but they can still be very canny.
Last summer I had a handyman/painter working here and his helper stole a piece of jewelry. After that, I realized I need to reorganize things to ensure that it doesn't happen again, especially eventually when I need to bring in respite care. In addition to valuables, I have put all papers with social security numbers, credit card numbers, etc. into locking file drawers. It's not just valuables that can be stolen, there's identify theft too.
bluedaze got me giggling, but dking sent coffee up my nose. Which reminded me that the rest of you dirty dozen haven't done that in a while. You're slipping!
There are two marvelous threads currently on the Alz Assoc website y'all might like to read. One is "The case of the missing noodles" and the other is "Where's Oddest Place You've Found Stuff?"
hmmm check book still missing,was gone about 20 minutes today to pick up perscriptions,asked if she wanted to go for a ride an she told me it was much to cold to go outside,so I told her I'd be back ASAP an not to get into any trouble,she assured me she would just play solitare,imagine my surprise when I arrived home a short time later an the other car was gone,the one the keys "dissapeared" for a week or so ago,she soon can home with a bag of "stuff" from McDonalds an then promptly told me she had lost her wallet with all her credit cards,money drivers license(which she isn't supposed to use as doc told her no more driving)anyway after calling credit union an putting a hold on cards an accounts I found the wallet in a box in the garage?Havn't told her yet I found it,she doesn't seen concerned hasn't even asked about it for the last few hours,when asked about the car key she said she found it outside on the driveway,it was only a bare key without the keypad so she must have taken it off,the keypad is still MIA,while I was writting this she came in an asked if the little boy that came for a piano lesson got a ride home? Told me she wrote in his lesson book last week that he could have this week off, she hasn't givn lessons in 25 years,I NEED A BEER
I also have Deadbolt on dressing room door with everything of importance locked in there when cargivers come to sit DH. its peace of mind of me..and ps i would only consider using an agency that does background checks and carries insurance for their employees! youdont want just anyone coming to stay in your home. most agencies provide this. well Sunshyne, others have been quite entertaining this week (see No Sex thread:) so many of us are taking the backseat and just enjoying like everyone else. i swear is it me, or is there an actual new flurry of posters now after all has been said and done ref to the 'strike'??? i think it worked, posters we havent seen in some time are here again...thank you everybody for making our strike a successs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now we can all get back to work at hand, raising eyebrows and enlightening our fellow new comers to the world of AD. Divvi
Ol Don, by all means, get yourself a beer! sounds to me, like my DH is NOT the only hooligan on the block here finally your deary wifey may be in line for the hooligan queen title:) they do like to hide and hoard everything in places the find appealing to them. the drawers/under SOFA pillows, a fav here in my home:), and under bed pillows and in the washing machine are other good places to look. i am sorry you are dealing with her like this but i think its time you dont leave her alone and 'trust' her to stay out of trouble. that word is a no-register point in their vocabulary. make sure you go around and check for important things and get them put away as soon as possible so they dont get lost too. and forheavensake, LOCK the keys to the car up.!!! thats a real no-no...hope things settle down soon -divvi
DH's electric shaver was gone for a couple days, I looked all over, could not find it & had to buy a new one. Two days later the old one mysteriously appeared on his bureau. "Where was this?" I asked. "At the bowling alley," he told me. Well, why not, everything has to be someplace. Like why was the garden hose in the clothes hamper? As I said, everything has to be someplace!
We purchased our current house a year ago, and it was so different from other house hunting trips. This time DH was no longer working and I had info about what would happen down the line. There is a walk-in pantry in the kitchen and I put all the meds in there and close the door when I am in there filling pill containers (I said I was always worried about dropped pills and the cat). I tried to keep only small appliances there so not really anything DH needs. When he was hospitalized the first time and I filed for guardianship, I purchased a large locking tool cabinet (the kind on wheels with a dozen drawers and wheeled it into the closet. Although I said it was for organizing pills and safeguarding them (even 2 cats are on good meds) He now knows it is locked, but don't think he knew or cared originally.
Now, the meds are only put out as needed (the 7 day container no longer worked). Purse and keys in another drawer. Plan to put a lock on that door eventually and have designated a closet in the hall for other stuff down the road.
He has threatened to clean out the garage and throw out the trash, so I'm starting to research those deadbolts. And, moving the tools to the locked cabinet or out to the garage. I have always been the tool person in the house and no one ever trusted him to use them wisely or safely before the AD.
Ol don, way past time to lock things up. And the car....don't even get us started on that!
better make more than one, and make mine an apple martini please?????????? its just me, DH is asleep//my 2 chihuahuas on my lap/and 5800 feet of empty quiet spooky house..divvi
you bet!! tons of space and a full bar to boot...we've had saences/ghost parties/halloween parties/mardigras parties//xmas, just anything that called for parties in this house. it was DH pride and joy to throw bashes and he did them well...awwwww...
Never say never! We won't have THOSE particular good times again (sob), but as Briegull (I think) observed, being able to think in terms of possible good times again AFTER caregiving is over can help ease the journey.
hooray wife just came to me with checkbook.....said she found it under her recliner but swears she doesn't know how it got there,there is hope after all lol
Took my dh 2 weeks to find his wallet with money in it. I have since removed most of the money and I carry his identification and his wallet stays in the drawer.
I'm so glad that your stuff turned up. When I painted the kitchen, I took down two lovely pictures of some very colorful ducks. They were in shadow boxes and one of our sons gave them to me for Christmas several years ago. I LOVE those prints. They are gone! I've torn the place apart looking for them. I found another photo in his underwear drawer about 3 months after it was lost. But these ducks have been gone for almost a year. I'm kind of sad about it. If they turn up, I'll let you know. But, I'm not holding my breath.
How do you manage to take care of a 5800 sq ft house all by yourself? Ours is half that size, and I'm always having something or other fixed, redone, maintained, etc. Is the answer apple martinis? Maybe I don't drink enough!
MarilynninMD-thats just it, it doesnt get done! its like a mauseleum in here white walls, white carpets, and white marble..:)by the time i mop the floors downstairs and work my way up to the top floors, its time to redo the bottom ones again..:)BUT! i have found some help recently by buying the irobots! they scrub and floors and do the vacuuming all day by thier little lonesomes..awesome! my dogs dont like them but its a huge help not having to do it myself. i have had daily maids for yrs, but with me here all day now, i try to tackle something every day. its overwhelming if you look at the whole picture..like AD, one day at a time:) divvi and yep, a few martinis or bloody marys during the week helps give you a better perspective of it all:)
Can't tell if you are serious about the "irobots", but I need to get me some of those! There's something called a "roomba". I think it 's a sort of round vacuum cleaner that goes on it's own. Is that what you mean, or is it the martinis talking? It's not the cleaning that gets to me, it's the plumbers, electricians, handymen, painters, roofers, landscapers, tree people, yada yada yada. It's a never ending parade.
exactly, i have roombas 2 and 2 scoobas for floors:) they are wonderful! haha. no i havent hit the bottle today...(yet) so far so good. a few myoclonous jerking with DH a little unsettling but hes eating and sitting up so i am relieved so far.
i know. always,somebody to deal with for handy repairs. i have roofers. pool guys, lawn guys, pest control guys. carpet cleaners, caulkers, etc i try to do some of this myself and pat my back for some of the jobs i got thru..haha.. for someone who had 3 maids while married during 2nd marriage, i think i have managed to pull myself back into the real world and get down and dirty as you all know, the poop queen- by all means get a roomba! divvi
briegull yeah usually hes up and moving but today the neurontin hit him hard early after breakfast and he woulnt wake up til noon! his jerks start after sleeping such a long time..some days he lounges and reads mags and just entertains himself but today he was quite sleepy..i am watching for uti..drats. just in case.. i know i try to keep him active..and we have to go pick up my grandaughters in while so i have to keep him alert!divvi
I've had A/C guys in my house for three days now with no heat. Coldest night of the year and I couldn't stop shivering. When the sun came up I realized it was warmer outside than in. The part I hate the most is not knowing if I am being led down the garden path when told what is needed for the repair. The unit is only two years old. Problem is electrical rather than mechanical. One idiot actually used aluminum foil to bridge a blown fuse (he no longer works for the company I've been told). As soon as this problem is licked I'm sure another will crop up. One worry I don't have at least is that my husband is no longer in the house. He would rage at poor repairmen like you can't imagine. He once found their keys and moved their truck around the corner because he didn't like it in the drive.`
Mine's going stir-crazy - he stands at the door and looks out at the snow along the walk. It's still too high on the sides to let the sun melt the last of it, and it's not wide enough for his walker. We don't have a garage (Southerners, and Westerners, you've no IDEA how common that is in older homes, even in this climate, and even in very "nice neighborhoods." I have never locked our house unless we were going to be gone overnight, that's how safe it is; the only crime here is when someone from another town comes over and starts raiding all the cars left outside at night, trustingly left unlocked!)
briegull, I remember as a child we didn't lock doors of the house or car....and left the doors open with the screen doors shut in the summer! Of cours, you can't do that here today!