JOAN’S BLOG, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26, 2013 – ANYTHNG CAN HAPPEN

Our message boards have been filled with questions over the years as to when it is no longer safe to leave someone with Alzheimer’s Disease home alone. Those of us who care at home for our spouses afflicted with Alzheimer’s Disease know, usually from a disastrous experience, when it is no longer safe to leave them alone, even if it is just to run an errand down the street.

The stories of near disaster are legendary. I personally know spouses who have gone through experiences such as:

• The turned on garden hose through the house incident
• The shattered jar of honey, broken glass, cut foot, blood and honey all over the house incident
• The “Emeril Lagasses Experiment Gone Wrong” incident 

In my case, my husband is so physically disabled, that he could not possibly get into trouble if I left him alone. He sits in his lift lounger all day long, getting up only to go to the bathroom. My concern would be that he might fall, so generally I do not leave him alone. I do my errands, grocery shopping, and whatever else needs to be done, on days that he is at Day Care.

On Monday of this week, I needed to pick up some prescriptions from CVS, and I needed to go to Wal-Mart to replenish our supply of Teddy Graham snacks that Sid and I both love. (Teddy grahams would be a “want”, not a “need”, which is crucial to the moral of the story.)  Not wanting to go out at all, I procrastinated all day, until finally, at 2:30, I decided to go to Walmart about 1 ½ miles down the street.

It never occurred to me that anything other than a fall could happen if I left the house for an hour. In case of such an emergency, he has a button on a neck lanyard that he can press to call 911.

Ever mindful that Sid was alone, I whipped through Walmart at record speed, refraining from stopping at every aisle to browse. I even made sure my basket had under 20 items, so I could use the express lane. Good, good, I am thinking to myself. It is only 3 o’clock. He has not been alone that long at all.

I put my groceries in the back of my SUV, slid into the driver’s seat, and turned the key. NOTHING. ZERO. NOT A SOUND. Considering my car is 3 years old, and I have put only 18,000 miles on it during those 3 years, car trouble was not even on my radar as something that could happen if I left Sid alone. I was in a panic. How was I going to get home? What was I going to do with the car? The first thing I did was to call Sid to tell him, in the shortest version possible, that the car died and I would be home later.  

Although I was very worried about Sid being alone, I was also worried about incinerating under the laser beam 90 degree Florida sun while I waited for AAA. Ah, did I say AAA? Waiting for them was not an issue, since they kept me on hold for so long that I finally hung up. When I called back, they didn’t even answer.

Now panic was setting in.  My only goal was to get home. I would worry about the car later. I called my friend, who happened to be shopping down the street. I manually locked the car, and she drove me home. Yes, Sid was fine, and had only been alone for 1 ½ hours, but the “what could have happened” scenarios kept going through my mind. I vowed at that moment to never leave him alone in the house again.

The first thing I did when I arrived home, was call my mechanic (Oh, how it pays to have a familiar mechanic). Within 10 minutes, his tow truck driver was at my house, picking up my keys. He drove to Walmart, put the car on the flatbed, and drove it to my mechanic. Rick (mechanic) called to tell me he had the car, would work on it the next day, and let me know what he found. At 9:30 the next morning, he called to tell me it was the battery, and that he would call when it was finished. At 11 am, he called to say that one of his employees was coming to get me to bring me to the shop. I paid the bill, and thanked Rick profusely for smoothing an incident that could have caused me major stress.

The moral of the story – You never know what can happen when you leave your spouse alone, and Teddy Graham snacks are not so important that they can’t wait for a Day Care day to be purchased.

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©Copyright 2013 Joan Gershman 
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2010 All Rights Reserved
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RECENT BLOGS:

What if it Were Me? - April 19, 2013 - My caregiving stress has led to impatience and grouchiness, which has made me think about how I would feel if I were in his shoes.

The Cardinal Rule - April 29, 2013 - A reminder, due to my lapse, to never, never, ever, try to explain a complex incident to your spouse.

Caregiving is a Killer - May 15, 2013 - A blog in response to the unthinkable tragedy suffered by one of our members, whose father, in the early stages of dementia, killed his wife, who suffered from chronic, unalleviated pain, and his daughter-in-law, (our member's wife), who was deep into Alzheimer's Disease, before killing himself.

Nothing to Say - May 21, 2013 - Attending a non-Alzheimer social function made me realize how isolated I have become.

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