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    • CommentAuthorJan K
    • CommentTimeApr 22nd 2020
     
    Is anyone else considering placement right now? I don't mean having a loved one in a nursing home, but that the need for placement is getting more and more urgent.

    This weekend I had to take the knobs off the stove. DH had tried to heat up some water for tea in the microwave, but since he couldn't make it work, he started turning knobs on the stove. Unfortunately I happened to be asleep at the time. When I woke up, there was a strong smell of something burning throughout the house. Fortunately he didn't set the house on fire. (I keep thinking that next time he just might set the house on fire.) What are we supposed to do when we physically can't watch someone every minute of the day and night?

    I really need to go to the grocery store. It's been about seven weeks since the last trip, and I would really like some fresh fruits and vegetables. But DH does not remember anything about social distancing or not touching his face. Most of the time he doesn't remember who I am, so he's certainly not going to remember something like a dangerous virus. He is very social, and would walk right up to anyone and want to chat. I can't take him into the store. I can't leave him alone in the car. And I certainly can't leave him at home by himself.

    At least he is no longer acting threatening toward me. That's a relief. But as his reasoning declines, every day is a new adventure/crisis. There's no possible way to stay ahead of every single new behavior.

    It seems like every day I read a new horror story about what is happening in nursing homes with this virus. I feel like I would be committing murder if I took DH to a nursing home now. But if he burns us both up in a house fire, that's not exactly a happy ending, either.

    I always thought that the decision for placement would be difficult. I never imagined that something would happen that would make placement virtually impossible when the time came. Is anyone else wrestling with this right now?
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 22nd 2020
     
    You are right in taking the knobs off and leave them off. Put them only where you can get them. I would start looking into it. If possible find a small facility. The one my husband is in has only 15 residents and so far they have not had any trouble with illness. In fact, the staff know when not at work they have to not go out and about if possible. Rosetta Assisted Living/Memory Care builds their facilities like a group home where the numbers are limited as for residents. They fix the meals right there where residents can watch if they want. True, the one my husband is in lacks activities but my husband never participated anyway. Our county health department publishes a daily Covid 19 report which list the places with outbreaks - all are assisted living/nursing homes except on which is Tyson Meats.

    I forget where you live or if you will be self pay. For now I would call one of the companies about someone coming in-home for now so you can get a break. It will be easier now that he is not combative.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeApr 22nd 2020
     
    Pulling the knobs is the easiest way as Charlotte said. Don't forget you only need one and can put the rest out of the way. One of the main pains was making something that needed an hour or two to cook. I couldn't leave with the hot pot and element on even when I took the knob off because my wife would be drawn to it. I learned to read the paper in the kitchen and shoo her away when she showed an interest. Then I learned not to cook anything like that. It's good that his aggression has diminished and I'm sorry you're going through this.

    In placement consideration, one thing you can do is talk to places you might be interested in or that you might have access to, and find out what their waiting lists are like and some information on how to proceed. If a place has a six month waiting list or even four, it's my personal opinion that the virus won't be an issue the way it is now. I also recommend finding out what cancellation penalties there might be if you decide to get on a list and then waive that spot when it comes up.

    You can also tip off anyone you're speaking to that your husband might be within earshot. Someone who works with you in giving information (being helpful in not making you spell everything out) is likely to be that way if things get real. There is often online information with some pictures. It wouldn't hurt to have some experience in talking about this with people who provide the services because it's quite a shock often to go through something like that.

    See if you can find someone or a service that can deliver groceries to your home. You might phone your local supermarket which is probably on Google Maps, tell them your situation, and see if they can offer suggestions. Even a handyman service would be worth talking to. Having groceries come to you would solve an immediate problem. I snuck out of the house and went shopping dozens of times and took the risk that she might wander or get into trouble. I had no choice because I didn't have the cycles to think of the things I can now. My wife wasn't capable of understanding any of that by that time. Your husband sounds partially aware so that idea is riskier.

    One contactless way of shopping or getting home deliver is to pay for it over the phone with your VISA card. I'm sure you know that but it doesn't hurt to make sure.

    Stay strong. You've been in this a long time.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    Hi Jan K, I don't have current information for placement. Been many years since we had to place my Mother. When she could no longer live alone we found a room/board home, not sure what they call them but was only 5 patients in a private home. Each one had their own bedroom, was nice. But she went downhill very fast and within 6 months had to be moved to nursing home. Same with dil's father, they kept him at home for years but the kids finally said he goes or we do, they also found a private care home, but he only lived another month. Probably waited too long. So, there are alternatives. Possibly your doctor could recommend someone to do private home care for a couple days a week. This is what I'm looking into. I'm seeing the dr the middle of May.

    Darn, dh is up now and anything other than listening to him and gun smoke is impossible. The others gave you good info on the stove. Later.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    Sorry, it's not gun smoke, it's Mayberry :) 5 yrs ago dh was burning things up on our glass top electric cooktop. Cutting boards, dish towels etc. I have gas here, but have to be very careful - basically keep him away from stove - since he will turn the gas on, but not far enough to light it. So a couple of times I've heard the igniter clicking and have had to come running. He can still operate the microwave so-so -- but is banned from using the stove....his eating habits are so bad right now, he doesn't even notice it.

    Oh, don't know the exact problem but you can get covers for the burners, on Amazon. Not regular old style, these are like a glass cutting board that sits over one side of the cooktop. I bought two for upstairs to use as more countertop. They are very high temp so might be a short term solution, would give you time to get to the stove if he does turn the burner on. Really gotta run.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    Jan K, I going to withdraw what I've said, LOL. I do not know your exact situation - but know I could have written your posts. One thing I also know is that no one can know what goes on in your own home when a spouse has dh - because often you don't even know. One day everything seems to be under control and in a half second it can all explode. I also know anyone, Dr or not, who has never been in this situation themselves can not give specific advice. Living with az is not like a disease where there is medication and they get better or not. They never get better and their worse can sometimes go sideways.

    Individuals on this list have all been there, but their there, isn't your there. I found a lot of information going through old posts and reading what others have gone through. You can do a topic search and read about various problems. I can feel your frustration! Your cry for help, someone tell me what to do before I do something drastic. It's a no win situation. Sorry, but that's what it is. Taking the knobs off your stove might help for a time, but my husband would realize something was different and probably get a pair of pliers and take it apart.

    I have tried different solutions for myself. Keeping myself up, don't let myself quit caring how I look - even though he won't even shower, usually smells like old urine and looks like one of those old prospectors on Death Valley days. I've tried all the recommendations to get him
    to shower but the best I can do is get him to use a washcloth and take his clothes off him, by force, and put them in the washer. I have promised him I will t
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    Other alternatives: we had to turn the breaker off for my mom. I think there was someone on here a few years ago that had a switch put on the back or side of the gas stove to turn the gas off and on, that way her husband could not turn the gas on.

    Last store visit was 4/6. I was going to get up early this morning (6am) but last night decided 'no'. I went last night about 9 - store closes at 10. Not crowded at all - was nice open for shopping. The cashiers are protected but only one or two customers were wearing mask. I was buying stuff to make oatmeal bars - got everything but flour which they had none. I'll have to wait to make them.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    Darn, I guess I keep hitting the pad. Anyway, I promised him I would take care of him - as long as I could. Not forever, but as long as I could. He would fight to the death if I tried to put him in any type of home -- and that isn't hyperbole. If I died, he would probably commit suicide and if you think taking his guns would solve that - you don't know my husband.

    So, here's what I am going to say to you. Get some paper - or use your phone. That's where I have to write things I don't want dh to see. Doesn't have to be all done at one time. Just start writing down all the things that are driving you crazy, or scared, or whatever. Write down how you feel about him -- I love my husband, but rarely like him anymore. He's driven that away. I still have to put up with his daily trying to feel me up and/or telling me how fridged, uptight, etc, etc, etc I've gotten to be as an old woman. Don't worry about what you say because no one but you will see it. It might take a week or so to do it. But once done, find as quiet a time as possible. Maybe get up early, stay up after he goes to bed, whatever. Read through it, really read it and see how each point makes you feel. Then try and prioritize your thoughts. What is the biggest problem? The next? What could you live with if only he didn't....?

    Hopefully, this will give you an idea of what you really want/or need. What type of care he needs. Is it to the point he's a danger? Would he accept someone in the house one or two days a week while you were gone? Daycare is a non starter for my husband - or anything similar. He would not let someone in if he thought they were there to babysit him. Thankfully, he has moved into a new behavior that entails him sitting in his chair and watching TV 12+ hours a day, down side is he wants me beside him.

    I doubt any home of any type would take him at this point, with covid-19 - maybe a hospital if the dr felt he needed some help. Others could speak better to the investigating, types of placement and waiting period. I know we could not afford a private facility for very long. VA places are not close and long waiting lists. One of my friends with the sweetest husband, finally placed him in a nice place 5 min from her. She went every day, fed him lunch, visited with him and made friends with other spouses. Within a few months he had progressed to very violent behavior to the extent they kicked him out and the only place that would take him was 2 hrs away. She couldn't drive that far - and wasn't even able to be there when he died. So, what may seem perfect today, may not be so tomorrow. (Plus side of this is she is now "seeing" the husband of one of the people she met there, his wife has also died so they started meeting for lunch). This is off topic, but in her younger days she was knock-out movie star gorgeous, never met a stranger, and was still in her 80s beautiful. dh never remembers her name but when I mention it, he says is that the pretty one :) Every single day - with never a fail - no matter what, she got up dressed, fixed her hair and applied full makeup. Never skipped a day. I'm trying to take a lesson from her, :)

    I'm meeting with my dr in May to discuss therapists specifically knowledgable about living with az. And/or, home care people trained on az patients. Even housekeepers who have experience. I've decided a "housekeeper" one day a week is a lot cheaper than placement and maybe I could at least have some alone time for a few hours. I know there are male "caregivers" that also are available to come to the home. Not cheap but nothing is. I think I hear in your voice, someone tell me what to do. I know I'd yelled that many times, I don't know what to do!!! There is good advice here, but the ultimate decision is between you and your doctor. You might even have to have a doctor help with placement, I don't know. People here have helped me with info - but also helped me by listening when I scream for help because I don't know what to do. Just having someone who knows how it really is, is a great help. I'm even losing a couple of my friends now because I don't go anyplace, can't be gone long etc, etc. They don't know how bad it is and really don't want to. I can accept that, hurts but that's life.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    One more post and I'm done, LOL. This is about me. I can't do anything for my husband, other than take care of him,and I do love him. We have some short times when he's almost the same and it's those that keep me going.

    I am in the process of getting our upstairs apt fixed up, finally unpacking all those boxes, getting my art supplies sorted and put away, finding a place for my sewing machine. When I was making masks for covid-19, I had to bring it down to the dining table. If/when I have to have live-in help, we do have a place available. But more importantly, I have an escape place. That is my place, it feels like me, it's peaceful, I've mentioned I'd prefer to sleep up there but so far am still downstairs. There are 3 TVs up there, but none activated to the cable :) I use one to play music, watch an art video etc. Otherwise, there is no sound but the birds. The downside is I worked up there two days, about 3-4 hours each and was in so much pain I had resort to the oxycodone, and a couple days of rest. It's not hard physically but think it was the constant bending, unpacking etc, plus my wrist still problem and no strength. Might get an hour or so in today but definitely back tomorrow.

    Why? I am going under. Self isolation hasn't helped. Plus, my blood pressure is skyrocketing. I know it's stress, but I will have to be diligent in other ways to try and get it under control. The medication is primarily for my kidney function, even though it's a BP medication. While I didn't have high BP till I got sick, they think I need the medication, even though it has side effects. I've mentioned when I was sick recently,
    the medication the dr sent out had to avoid others. Found I felt better without my normal med so will discuss that with her. I do take my
    BP ha often b
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    OK think my laptop is saying stop, LOL. Anyway, the last two days my BP has been quite high, scary high - so even though I know it's the stress right now, and I do have an appt in 3 weeks, I will be careful.

    On an up note, the drs office called yesterday, they are calling their "at-risk" patients to see how they're doing, if they need anything etc. Also reminded me they will do phone visits and video visits and then today sent a video to tell me how to do a video appt, LOL. Told her we were fine -- do not want to go in right now. Got the same info from the ortho hospital, they will accept walk-ins now for some things.

    I think I figured this laptop thing out. My left wrist is no longer in the normal position. It juts out where it should be straight, and that in turn makes my thumb in an awkward position, it no longer curves up, around to the side of my finger. I like to wear my nails fairly long and I think I may be hitting the track pad when I don't mean to. I did slow down my trackpad, but maybe need to do so more.

    And with that, my dear friends, I am going to have lunch and go upstairs.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    Sorry about all the problems with that 'naughty' hand.

    I placed my husband for me more than him. I was able to get over not liking him, not even wanting to see him, to loving him.

    I phoned to check up on Art. He has lost 10 pounds the last month. They are going to try making the 'super pudding' for him. Said he has been a 'hoot' the last few days. They are playing music which the residents seem to all enjoy over the TV blaring all the time.

    I did have them give him the phone. Told him who it was ' Charlotte, you wife', that I love and miss him. He said he loved me too, will see me soon. Good thing he has no concept of soon and will forget. She said when I told him who it was his face lite up. Now to stop crying.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    Aw Charlotte, I know this has been hard for you. I keep reading that there is usually about 8 yrs after diagnosis but I know you have been at it much longer and have had so many problems with really no one to back you up. I doubt even the average doctor really knows how our day to day lives are - or the stress we're under. I can understand and appreciate your statement his placement was really for you.

    10 lbs in a month is a lot, do they know why he's losing weight? I too much prefer music but dh likes the noise and gunshots :) I'm really glad for both of you that he isn't cognizant of the time factor that you've been gone. It's hard enough under "normal" circumstances.

    We both used to love southern gospel music and still do, although dh won't sit through much these days, wants the tv back on. I have a favorite song I have on my phone so I can listen to it whenever I want. The title is Pray for Me, and it's Ryan Seaton with Ernie Hauss and Signature Sound. You can find it on Youtube, if not I'll send it. I even found the lyrics and printed them out so I can read them along with hearing them....We all need one another, please pray for me....and I'll pray for you, is the theme. The group is not to everyones taste but we've followed them from when they first began and do enjoy it. So tonight when I pray, I'll lift up your name, God already knows the details. My friend whose husband has Lewes Bodies, not seen her in person for several years now, is having such a rough time, we tell each other we'll intercede twice each night now since we need so much help :) I think you have my email, I usually check it a couple times a day, so anytime you need something - to talk or anything, send me a note.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    He went through this 'failure to thrive' last year, had gone from 220 to 145 in about 6 months. Then he went on hospice, leveled at 160 so went off hospice. He was holding at 165 but now has lost. Maybe he is wandering more burning it off, they have not been giving him seconds, he is not getting all the root beer and donuts I was taking him, or he is going into 'failure to thrive' again. Time will tell.

    Remind me what your email address is under.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    I opened it on my profile, I’ll leave it for a bit. I thought I had yours but don’t see it
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2020
     
    it is not showing up. Is it the oakridgefarms email? I have like that in my gmail address list.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2020
     
    Covid-19 is making the poor run nursing homes more visible. If they were doing poor job before and hiding their weaknesses they can hide no longer.

    My wife's NH has had no COVID-19 exposure yet. They are very strict about no visitors. They have strict protocols on accepting deliveries from vendors. Staff are instructed on how to keep safe at home with their families, and the staff is smart enough to follow through. They started us of masks and gloves before being required by the state. When they will have Covid-19 exposure (I don't see how they can be perfect enough to avoid it forever) they are already doing physical distancing for residents. People in different houses are kept separate. Staff don't move between houses like they used to. Many residents eat meals in their rooms. Many activities are very small groups or one-on-one. They are using protocols developed for when they have had communicable diseases in the past (scabies, gastro viri) but on steroids. Anyway, these might give you ideas on questions to ask potential NHs or to ask after COVID-19 is under control. One major problem is that NHs that are handling this well might not allow for any new residents or allow visiting by potential residents.

    I think my wife's opportunity to exposure would be much greater at home. While we isolate ourselves I have to go food shopping at least once a week. Would I have to take her with me? I have to go to my office once a week, which involves mass transit. And I would probably need to pay someone to watch after her during the day, working at home and caring for her at the same time would be impossible. On the non-COVID front she would probably not be able to deal with stairs given that she needs a wheelchair much of the day and should never walk without a walker (so she can support herself if she suddenly gets tired).

    For now do the necessary precautions, such are removing knobs from the stove. See if any appliances have childproof options that you might have been ignoring (dishwashers come to mind). I can't imagine what life is for those of you caring for you LO at home in these times, especially if you are the only two people at home or if you are caring for more than one person (I know a few people in that situation).

    Meanwhile life goes on. It is easier going through this with my son living at home. We are often doing our own things but have dinner together. I'm working a lot, trying to do a 2 mile walk every day. Work is more intense right now, my office will start moving at the end of May and I need to do various work towards that goal while keeping everyone working remotely. I got a credit on my last gas bill, I knew my new HVAC would be more efficient but I never imagined it would get me reverse billing. Hmm, I suspect I might have paid last months gas bill twice so I won't get too excited about todays gas statement.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2020
     
    Yes Charlotte, thats it.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2020
     
    I think everyones stove is different, and it might be important to know where the knobs are located. Upstairs, they are located along the right side of the cooktop. Down stairs, they are located in a group in the center of the cooktop. Does he actually turn the burner on? Forget it? or like mine, turn the igniter on but forget you have to turn it another click to light. Is he trying to cook?

    Removing the knobs would be a hardship for me. First, they are on very tightly, takes me two hands to pull them off, second, when I'm cooking I use several burners at a time. Could you use a colored duct tape to keep them from turning? I don't see exactly what I bought, they are basically a high heat glass "cutting board" on legs that covers the entire stove top. On mine, I could also cover the knobs if I wished.
    This is a similar idea for a cover, not sure if you could cover the knobs with this. https://www.amazon.com/Miles-Kimball-Extra-Burner-Covers.

    I have a gas shutoff under my cooktop, not fun to reach under there to turn it off, as it's a lever towards the back, but not impossible either. If you have a regular stove that wouldn't work. You might contact the company that made it, online. I've found their customer service is usually pretty good and may be able to give you some information. Different style knobs?? Could you wedge something under your knobs that would keep them from turning without removing it? A wedge of rubber?? You might find a handyman, or plumber to make something that would cover the entire stovetop without being too hard to remove when you needed it. Again, it all depends on the knobs, removing them is easiest but If I removed mine, I'd probably forget where I put them....Living with dh, often has my brain doing flip-flops and takes some time to get it back to normal. This morning was a classic and makes me wonder how long I'll be able to do this on my own. Good luck with whatever you decide.

    With my husband, often what I've thought he was trying to do wasn't it at all. Remember their mind doesn't work like ours. He is a
    button pusher - which get him into trouble often. That's why the microwave is a problem for him, he doesn't remember how it works, but he knows it heats something. I repeat what I said yesterday (yes I know folks, I repeat myself often, LOL) but I feel it's important to determine the exact problem before you can get a working solution. Too often with az, we ourselves, can't think straight anymore and stress takes over.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2020
     
    https://www.alzheimers.net/2014-04-24/questions-to-ask-about-memory-care/

    This doesn't give all the answers but does give you a place to start looking. There are a number of articles on the ALZ.com that can give you some idea of what is needed as the disease progresses. I'm looking for someone who can come in occasionally, maybe help with housework, but mainly to get my husband in the shower and cleaned up good without me having to have a big fight and getting nowhere but upset :)
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2020
     
    CA governor just announced there is a “Friendship Line” to call if you just need to talk. Doesn’t matter what the subject is. He said it’s been around for some time by the Alzheimer’s Assoc for caregivers. Phone number is 888-670-1360. The screen says it is a statewide service, but might be broader than that.

    He also announced several programs for seniors. The state Office on Aging is working on a number of things. They are setting up a program with FEMA to hire restaurants to prepare and deliver meals to seniors up to 600% of fed poverty level. In CA I think they said you can find info by calling 211 and they have a covid19.ca.gov website. I’m not sure of the spelling of the website.

    He said United Airlines asked how their call center could help and they’re going to make “wellness” calls to seniors. No idea how they’ll pick who to call.

    On another note, I received a Fed Ex package yesterday. The note said the thing reminded them of a time they visited with us. But it wasn’t signed. So weird. Don’t know who. Not my brother. Can’t figure out why it has me feeling depressed, stressed and paranoid rather than happy to have received a gift. It was my birthday the other day, but not many people know that either.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2020
     
    Found this on Psychology Today, sad and funny at the same time:

    1. Take breaks – short or long. Tina’s husband, Tom, suffers from dementia. Giving him loving care totally drains her. To recover, she takes a month-long visit to her family in Argentina. She tells friends and family that “if Tom dies while I’m away, don’t call me. Just put him on ice and I’ll take care of it when I get home." And she's serious! In order to protect her own health, she’s willing to risk criticism.

    Heres the link https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-caregivers-handbook/201302/who-helps-the-caregivers

    bhv* Maybe it's the not knowing - if you knew who it was from, you could enjoy the thought that came with the gift. Not knowing what it was I can only assume, it was something you liked? Just feels strange not knowing who or where it came from?
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2020
     
    I like Oakridge what that woman said. When spouses have gone on cruises for month or more, I often wonder what they would do it their husband died while they were gone. I guess if all the arrangements are made ahead of time, that would take care of most of the issue. I don't know how I would feel. When I think of taking off for a few days I do wonder 'what if he died' or was dying and I was hours drive away. Ironic, I was ready to take off to visit my friend since I couldn't see hb then they shut the Oregon Coast down. There goes that idea.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 27th 2020
     
    Anyone else feeling like a leper? It seems to be getting worse. I went through Taco Bell today - they have changed how they handle you paying. They stick a plastic cup out for you to put your money in, then give you your change back telling you that you have to keep the cup cause they can't take it back. If they are going to do that they need to use paper cups which will break down. I guess this is the new 'reality', at least for a while. China is use to it because they wear mask all the time due to pollution but I am not use to being treated like a leper. I don't wear a mask - don't have one but will probably have to especially if I eventually am able to see Art.

    Talking to him last week seemed to help with the depression. I feel better -not sure if it is because of going back on the antidepressant or the brief talking with him. I am taking it at bedtime. A side effect I was having was dry eyes and that has not yet seemed to happened so taking at bedtime might be the trick.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeApr 27th 2020
     
    We're going through that stuff too. Today though, our governor/premier outlined a shift from the lock down they imposed to a gradual plan for reopening some things in stages and seeing how that goes. We probably won't be starting that for another two weeks or so. My sister is feeling the leper thing. She can't get near the grandchildren, can't open the trailer on Lake Erie, and can't go shopping at any of her usual stores.

    I hear New York is starting to level off. In Denmark they're starting to unwind and it's going alright. It might be fair to say that overall April was about locking down and May will be more about trying to open things back up.

    Everybody around here out in public is wearing a mask. We're sick and tired of this but not as much as those with children confined and absolutely going buggy. Stay safe.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeApr 27th 2020
     
    Ventured out today to buy take out chinese. Am so tired of being in the house. Town was crowded, people out playing basketball, no difference at the take out place re money. Didn't go anyplace else, was beautiful driving through the country with all the trees blooming and everything so green - all the parking lots were full. At least where businesses were open. Heard salons will be reopening next week. I sure need a haircut but that might be a place where I just wait awhile. Overall, you couldn't see much difference, was about the same amount of traffic as any weekday. We still have new cases and at least a new death every day so....they are not really saying anything definitive right now -- just have to see...wishy-washy.

    Debating about wearing a mask to the dr office. If I put it on when I get out of the car, go upstairs, check in and wait to be called, then take it off with the dr. I would have to have a second one with me to put on when I leave her office for the lab, then back to the car. I debated just putting it in a plastic bag - but having to get it out to put back on would seem to defeat that purpose.

    My palomino mare is having a problem with all this green grass but the stalls are full of "junk". Dh won't do anything without me being right there and we have very different ideas of working. Today he kept giving me advice on driving till I got ticked off and told him to stop. Period. As long as he lived he'd have to ride while I drive so get used to it. You don't wanna know what he said :) He always gets mud in the car so today I ordered some new mats to go over the good ones, they have red & pink hearts in one corner, LOL.

    Talked to my insurance agent and I have unlimited visits with a therapist with $10 copay - but need to see if I can find the right person. Saw a guy when my Mom was bad, just one time but it did help. I had forgotten about it, my dr sent me direct from his office so I didn't have to look around. Was there over three hours.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeApr 28th 2020
     
    Masks seem to be one of the most effective things you can do. Remember, you are wearing a mask to protect others, not yourself. I now wear one whenever I leave my house. I am surprised by the number of people I see with a mask but it is around their chins, not covering nose and mouth. From what I have read once you remove the mask you should throw it out (paper) or put away for washing (cloth). Leaving it on your chin to pull up later seems to be an unhealthy way of using a mask. Plus you have to keep touching it. Today's fun is going to the bank this morning (I need a notary) wearing a black cloth mask. If I go on a longer trip I take two sealed baggies with me, one for clean masks and the other for used ones.

    Amazingly some hospitals have rules against wearing masks. "Oh, it might panic the patients" or "it looks unprofessional." Studies are showing when everyone in a hospital wears a mask all of the time the number of new cases of COVID-19 among staff drops dramatically.

    We had our semiannual meeting on Leannah's care via phone conference. I asked that she not be present so we (her sisters, me, staff) could talk more freely. She is doing better since moving to nursing home part of facility in January. I think she is benefitting from more structure and she is adapting well to COVID-19 precautions. I didn't ask but I assume no visiting via a window is allowed since they will stop all visitors at the gate. And in good weather they like taking residents outside.

    But the facility is being sold again, this time to a for-profit. I have written to the president of the parent organization, complaining that we haven't heard anything since the cancelled meeting that was supposed to be March 12. I've looked at the Medicare ratings of the purchasing organization and they have many very low quality nursing homes. I found out another company will manage Copper Ridge after the purchase in July so I am trying to investigate them.

    Unfortunately Copper Ridge will change from a facility dedicated to treating people with neurological impairments to a plain old nursing home. The Memory Care ALF will shift towards residents with more independence. I don't know if this means whether it will still be MC or will be non-MC. Currently the ALF has many residents who would normally be in a NH, so I suspect many residents will move to the NH wing or will go elsewhere. This is a huge loss of a unique facility able to deal with difficult residents with various sorts of dementia to just another ALF and NH.
  1.  
    paulc: Sadly it is all about the money; alway the money. They probably make more with nursing home status that requires less staff. I'm sorry, Paul. You had a wonderful support system with the old facility. Hopefully something will work out that doesn't give you too much stress.
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      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeApr 28th 2020
     
    I am rooting for you all. Keep on keeping on. Am still waiting for surgery on my arm, but the virus cancels willy-nilly.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeApr 29th 2020
     
    I sent an email to the president of ACTS and cc'd everyone who was on the family meeting list. I haven't heard anything from ACTS but a few people on the lists said they were interested in the response.

    I assume one big change in ALF will be fewer registered nurses. I don't know about current staffing but when the ALF was full there would normally be 3 RNs on week days, 2 at night and weekends. Hopefully any RNs let go from the ALF will have the option of moving to the NH wings. They are very good people.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 29th 2020 edited
     
    When my husband was in the first larger facility which had memory care and assisted living had two RN days, one swing, none at night. The second one they had one during the day and then she was on call the rest of the time. Where he is now there is not one on site but they have one that oversees their 5 homes in the area. Instead they have aides that have been certified to administer meds but if any other problem they call the the nurse on call.

    Received my $1200 check today. No sign of hb's.

    10:50 pm - had my workout today. I changed the sheets and rotated the mattress. A workout because it is in an RV, especially turning the mattress when the room is not much bigger than the mattress.

    Maybe I will sleep good tonight!

    Getting tired of the spam.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeApr 30th 2020
     
    Charlotte, what you mention for RNs is common. This is why Copper Ridge has been so good, so many more RNs. While staff/resident retain on the NH is the same as ALF, a higher percentage of the staff are licenses nurses. To not have a RN available at night would be unthinkable. Plus all staff, including food services and cleaning staff, get dementia training. I hope that continues.

    My temp is getting a bit higher for me, but no higher than 98.6º using the no contact thermometer. That seems to be the peak and I do feel uncomfortable when it is that high. But not high enough to worry about. Definitely swollen glands, I'm suspecting a low level infection. I've also been under stress the past few days (more than usual) but my CEO just approved a networking contract this morning and that should help with the stress headache.

    Lots of rain today, probably heavy this afternoon. I have one area next to the house were I've had some erosion and need to put in some clean fill dirt and pack it in. In the meantime I put my trash cans over it. Of course today is trash day so cans need to be out at the curb. The trash or recycling truck is coming down the street so I will get a can in position within 10 minutes.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 30th 2020 edited
     
    I had the swollen glands a couple weeks ago - it can be painful. Took my ibuprofen and echinacea and was fine after a couple days. Now spring pollen is my worst problem. If I do start feeling crapping I just take the echinacea again. I know it doesn't work for many but it seems to for me.

    Yesterday was up to 78 - was up to 86 in the RV. Thought I might have to break down and turn the a/c on but just put the fan on me. Today is cooler - low 70s.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeApr 30th 2020
     
    I received the statement from SilverScript for March for my husband's prescriptions. There were new prescriptions for Ativan and Tramadol. My BP went up. They are not suppose to give him any new drugs without my permission. Called the nurse - she was heading to the facility.

    Turns out 3/19 the doctor discontinued the resperidone because the staff said he was acting up. They said it wasn't working. He is on Ativan PRN which they have only given it to him a few times. She thought he might be in pain so ordered tramadol which he has not had in the 6 weeks since it was ordered.

    Duh - I told the nurse he had not seen me for a week which would account for the agitation. She agreed. It has happened before when he doesn't see me. They will allow me to come to the window where they will open the window so we can talk through the screen.

    The way it is going it could be July or later before the governor opens up nursing homes/assisted living for visitors.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeMay 1st 2020 edited
     
    I really feel for all of you who have spouses in long term care. What a nightmare not to be able to see them and make sure they are OK. My state is locked down, too. Most people seem to support this since our infection rate is the third highest in the country. Even if our Governor lifted the restrictions, I doubt most people would start going out the way they did before. We are just beginning to do the testing and tracing needed to tamp the thing down and no one wants to see it flare up and have to re-start the quarantine all over again. I'm lucky that I have a yard to work in on nice days. And of course there's the shed.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeMay 1st 2020
     
    Our dictator governor extended the stay at home to May 31st. We have been on this since 3/12. He is basing it on the numbers in the Puget Sound area but the rest of the state is a whole lot different except for Yakima. They had a big outbreak in the Ag workers who are working in the orchards, vineyards, fields and packing sheds. They are Mexican and tend to ignore if they feel bad until too late. We had a big outbreak at the Tyson Meat plant the other side of Pasco where last count 120 tested positive. They have finally shut it down to deep clean. Again, most are Mexican so tend to ignore if warnings about if they don't feel well to stay home. If you take away the Tyson Meat numbers from where I live the new cases would be minimal.

    The dictator governor is really making people angry. He was asked about school starting in the fall for which he answered he doesn't know yet. The kids have to get back to school otherwise they will be so far behind kids in other states. We have numerous small businesses closing for good because they can't hang on for another month or longer. Also, if we go by his plan, it will be September or later before he opens up nursing homes for visitors.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2020
     
    Tyson's doesn't care about their employees in their processing plants. They manage to do right by their drivers but they encourage their workers to come in when sick. They spend millions on PR but nothing on protective gear for workers. They offered $500 bonus for workers with perfect attendance, not something you should do in a pandemic. They encourage workers known to have signs of COVID-19 to work. This is nothing new for them. Please don't blame workers for ignoring they are feeling bad, they have a lot to lose by losing a day of work.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2020
     
    In the days before companies started spending millions on PR, "meat processing plants" were called "slaughterhouses," which probably gives a better idea of what it's like to work in one.