My husband has started removing his clothes in the bathroom or bedroom and of course he has to have help putting them back on. He will take them off in the bedroom and walk stark-naked through the hall to the shower. I keep telling him to stop doing this but just reacts zero. I have told the kids and grandkids to check if all is clear before they come in.
I have to do his shower for him. He cannot turn on the shower, wash himself with soap, etc.
Not yet, but close. He walks from the bedroom to the bathroom and back sans clothing. If I tell him he needs to put on his robe, he tells me I'm too fussy. We had our two grandsons here this weekend. I told them that when they came upstairs, they should holler first so I could make sure it was ok. Sheeze. One more thing to watch out for.
Around here, this has been going on for over a year. Last summer when he would be working outside and get too hot, he'd take off his shirt and hang it on a chair or whatever, outside.. Then sometimes, he'd have shirt AND pants hanging ..but would come inside to shower. Although his room is at one end of the house and his bathroom is next to it, he insists on showering in the bathroom on the opposite end of the house.. Somehow he can't get all the items organized to carry back there.. towel, clean clothes etc..He may either disrobe in his room, the other bathroom or the laundry room.. This means he may likely walk through this living area more than once with no clothes. I have suggested that he disrobe and shower in the same bathroom.. but he has argued back about it. So far though, he hasn't done this when our children or grandchildren are around. This is completely out of character. He resents any suggestion for alternatives in hanging discarded dirty clothes.. I just pick them up where I find them..on the fence.. on the outside chair..on a tree..whereever he decides he's uncomfortable.
Just had my husb walk out in liv rm w/out shorts...wse just spent an hr getting him ready for bed...shower, hair drying, clothes...no rhyme or reason...i think i'll take mine off too!! LOL :)
what IS it about today? Mine REFUSED to go to bed. Walking around half nude with the light on in our bedroom, and people across the street having a party and people arriving and there is no real shade.. I gave him a seroquel. I do NOT need him getting up tonight!
Last year I was lucky to have him wearing his undershorts and sometimes a Tshirt. At night the shorts came off and he went that way. He'd put clothes on if someone came over but otherwise, he was in his house and he'd do as he'd decide. I tried so hard to get him to put on some pants when he was setting the trash on the porch for pick up or making a run to the garage for a tool. Finally just told him if the cops came because he wasn't wearing clothes, he'd have to go with them, because I wouldn't be able to do anything about it until morning. This year he's weaing his under shorts, a Tshirt and socks, all the time. Outer shorts quite a bit; and sweatshirts if it's colder than 65. He sleeps with the air conditioner running, a fan, and covered with a heavy fleece blanket and a comforter. He's constantly after me to "fix he machine" because the energy saver mode is in saver mode so not running at that time. Depending on the weather I have to set it to run the fan, the conditioner totally or the energy mode. and in Michigan the weather changes so frequently, I can end up resetting it 2-5 times a day.
Same situation here re walking naked down the hall to take a shower- dressing gown in hand! He insists on having all the lights on and since we have no curtains in the front window anyone could see him from the street. He gets angry if I say something but have decided to treat him like a 2 year old and tell him in no uncertain terms that this is a no no. I also now check to see that the dressing gown is on and tied. Any other ideas out there?
A while back i asked about if an AD person could be arrested for 'indecent exposure'..too bad we dont have any law enforcement on this site!? the reason asking is yes, AD patients just do what they want public or not-including mine would just pee wherever he had the urge, (still does:)but at home now)and i was worried what would happen if he was out in public and reported..if they are confused and aggitated and need to use the bathroom and cant ask or find it on their own, i would think its pretty natural to do it as it occurs, but geez! what would you say if the cops came! or a neighbor reports them? i would really like to know but i cant see me calling the police dept and asking this question...i think maybe having a letter from dr attesting to AD may be quite necessary at all times?? just in case, divvi
I had a little talk with our Assistant District Attorney when I called the police about my husband's violence. I didn't get someone who would cart him off to the hospital like I expected. What I got was someone who reported it as domestic violence. It worked out OK because it scared him into never doing it again, and never trying to drive again.
However, when the report became official I got a call from the ADA herself who specializes in domestic violence, and we talked about the fact that they couldn't charge him because he wasn't competent. She never intended to charge him, because she "gets it" and already knew he wasn't competent. She just wanted to make sure I had her phone number in case I needed her at some point in the future. And having the violence officially on record was also intended to protect me if necessary in the future.
So that, I think is the answer. Yes, the police probably will come if someone reported him doing weird things. But the District Attorney's office almost certainly wouldn't press charges because how do you do a trial when someone is not competent to stand trial?
My husband has been placed for about 6 weeks now. Prior to that he was in the hospital for a little over one week. Since leaving home, he has begun taking his shoes and socks off and loses them at the assisted living facility. He is also taking his clothes off at times. I've been told he also moves furniture around and the staff asked if he had been in the moving business. (He was not.)
If you have experienced this, how long did it last?
texasgirl. i am not sure its got anything to put a timeline on it. it could be he is just expressing his anxiety and stress of being ina new environment. they can do some pretty odd things when they get stressed out. the taking the clothes off is also something i have seen and heard of AD patients doing as well. the thing is in the cold taking off shoes and sox may lead to a cold or sore throat if he gets wet or chilly. not much to do except maybe get him some tie up shoes maybe with long laces that make it harder to get off. hopefully this may diminish as he gets more comfortable in the new surroundings. maybe others will have more input on this topic. divvi
Another suggestion for shoes is to get a couple of pair of washable houseshoes that look like loafers at Walmart. I did, and it was wonderful...especially for accidents, losses, etc. Sometimes they are like children and want to go barefoot. I could put shoes on him and he'd have them off before I turned around! Other times he would sleep in them! You just go with the flow...
It lasted almost a year....it went hand in hand with coming from the bedroom into the den totally nude - even if we had company! When he went to bed, I told them that if he came back to the den, just turn their heads because I couldn't make him dress. He did, and they did...and I got him back to bed...and we all laughed over it....
I'm glad this subject has been brought back up. My DH has started taking his shirt off when he goes to the bathroom and also sometimes when he's just sitting around. He took it back off 3 times yesterday morning and I have to help him get it back on and buttoned. The 3rd time, I used safety pins and put one in between each button. Stayed on that time. He can't operate safety pins. :-) He has also started taking his shoes and socks off several times a day. When I ask him why, he just says he doesn't know. He's in stage 6a/6b.
Easy on loafers have been essential to our lives for a couple years now. Forget ties, unless we HAVE to dress up. Also Dazed, I would skip the button shirts. Jeff still has his in case we need one, but his daily winter outfit is socks w/loafers, jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. I do not need many buttons in my life these days.
ME too Emily--no buttons,no shoes with strings,no pants with zipper and button,not much in pockets to loose.When I get him dressed in the mornings he sometimes complains and this morning while we were struggleing to get his long sleeve shirt on he said"no wonder the girls yelled when you dressed them".(he may have a point there)
Togas would be nice, Wolf! Mine is not in to the stripping. He refuses to get ready for bed. Wears his clothes to bed...sometimes even his shoes. It just isn't worth it. If he wants to sleep in his clothes he can just go on ahead and do it. I have bigger battles to fight...like peeing in the toilet. Emily, my problem with tennis shoes was that he would spend all day untying them...even with double knots. Go figure! Now I just leave him in his socks. That way I can tell him that he can't go out when someone else is leaving because he has no shoes on and now there is snow, too. Thank you, Jesus!!! Texasgirl, I do believe they all become fascinated with one strange thing or another. Lloyd started out running off with family's shoes...only one shoe. I have been blessed with my daughter and her husband and 2 teenage sons moving back home to help so there are always plenty of shoes. Lately he seems to like the boys' dirty socks more so he carries them around. Yuck! Now he likes his HotWheels golf cart and his little Swarovski crystal golf bag. That isn't so bad because it keeps one hand busy. Plus he will drink anyone's drinks if they are around. lmohr, I have been getting in the shower with Lloyd for about a year and a half now. It's just easier to go in with him. I have a handheld showerhead that I can take down and aim. He is like a small child in there. Doesn't like water in his face. Gets his hands up in his face and rubs shampoo in his eyes if you don't keep after him. I lather him up with men's Avon and tell him "don't touch me because I don't want to smell like a boy". Is that too much info...nope...we spill it all on here!!! briegull, mine is awake now...wandering around. I stopped his sleeping pills because he would have the myoclonis jerks so bad in the morning if he took them, he would just fall again and again for about the first hour. Without the sleeping pills, there is little to no problem. I have stopped all his medications except for the Marinol and his blood thinners. Well, it is 1:40 AM. Time to get my little boy back in bed!!! G'nite, all!
Wolf and Mary* - Muu Muu type dress is what I have been using for DW for over a year. Easy to put on and take off. AND easy to pull up to change depends or sit on toilet. I get them from www.ShopNational.com for under $30. Also - NO PANTY HOSE!!!!!!
Linda Mc, my DH also sleeps with his clothes & shoes on & has for over a year. When I tell him that he should take his shoes off to go to bed he tells me that he can’t walk if he takes his shoes off. I tried to tell him that he wasn’t going to walk if he is going to bed (silly me!) so now I just let him sleep fully dressed. Thankfully he shaves everyday & I make him take his shirt off & I give him a clean one & he showers every other day so he gets a full change of clothes.
Dazed, my DH also takes his shoes & socks off. Problem is when he takes his socks off he turns them inside out & then when he is sitting there he will look at his socks & see the threads & want me to cut them (OCD part of this disease) so then I make him take the sock off & it turns right side & no more threads (until the next time he does it!)
Such a comfort to read all this stuff my husband did/does. It's just part of the "game." Now that he's in a "special unit" at the Care Center, I told staff of his sleeping in his clothes, playing w/toilet paper, turning water on, playing w/glasses of water. They act like they've never seen this before--but I know they have. One woman dumped her pudding on the table and added crumbled corn bread and was playing with it. (HB has done similarly at home.) Two staff jumped to clean it up. I'd have said, "If she's happy, let her play and clean it up later." I do know that BIG BROTHER is watching them, though; so they have to be careful.
Elaine, I used to feel so guilty for letting him sleep in his clothes. Then I thought of the alternative of him being placed and I am not so bad. I couldn't stand to see him sedated and/or restrained. He definitely will not stay down even when I tell him he is still too shaky in the morning and is going to fall. He has fallen up to 5 times in the morning in rapid succession. There is just no keeping him down. If the doctor had his way, he would have been in a wheelchair over a year ago. How do you keep someone with AD who can walk in a wheelchair? Thankfully most times he falls is in a open area on carpet. AND he falls on his butt 99% of the time; although there is not much cushion there anymore.
linda this is a catch 22 question isnt it? if hes falling eventually he will probably hurt something and then will land in rehab center NH or in the wheelchair anyway. i know the problems of trying to keep a walking man down. not easy. maybe a talk with his dr on what meds hes on and why he is falling so much. it can well be one of the meds is causing a possible drop in blood pressure thats a cause for falling, but thats just one scenario. some cause dizziness, etc.if you read the inserts on the meds alot of them say fainting and or dizziness is a side effect. it will be hard if they break a hip and its also hard to see them confined in a wheelchair. if you have a geri chair or can get one, the table that goes over it to eat on is a pretty good deterrant to keeping them down for a bit. if they are a pacer like mine was, its really difficult.
divvi, I have stopped all meds except Marinol and Coumadin. I have seen the effects of all the meds he has been on and made the connections when they were unwanted. Depakote was like a roller coaster ride because he took 5 at night and none the rest of the day. Trazadone made him have myoclonic jerking in the morning and may have triggered the seizures he had. Keppra made him sit around like a zombie with his mouth hanging open slobbering on himself. The neurologist said Aricept could bring on seizures; then after stopping it wanted me to start it again. In September, he said the Namenda was doing nothing for him anymore. I just recently stopped the Namenda. After trying several times unsuccessfully, he finally seemed to be ok without it. My thoughts are "less is better". His neurologist prescribed all this crap, but would not write an order for Marinol. Go figure. The Marinol is actually supposed to inhibit the buildup of the Alz. plaque on the brain. It never once entered my mind that he could break a hip. DUH! I guess I am really going to have to watch him a little more (if that is possible). I know he is going to die from this. I just want him to have all the clarity possible until then. There have been thoughts of putting him out of his misery, but then I would have to kill myself; so that is not an option. Sorry if that scared anybody, but I know he would not want to live like this. We are 60 and 61 and have known each other since we were 15 and 16 so I do know what he is thinking. That certainly comes in handy since he cannot talk much anymore. Let me add that the Marinol has helped him to talk some. bluedaze, love the wheelchairs at WalMart with the baskets that go over the front. It's actually possible to take him shopping on occasion. Of course, if he won't get on the wheelchair, we just turn around and go back home.
I appreciate all of your comments about DH taking his shoes and socks off. The ALF finally decided to worry about keeping him in socks only and that is still a struggle. DH got a grape sized blister on his second toe, right foot, a couple of weeks ago that lead to his entire foot swelling. He ended up in the hospital on IV antiobitics. Diagnosis was cellulitis. He is back at the ALF and still on antibiotics. Blister is drying up and swelling is slowly decreasing. I believe this was brought on by his not keeping his socks on.
When i drove DH from the hospital back to the ALF I was worried he might not want to go in. He asked no questions, didn't say a word, and just followed me back through the ALF front door and back to his room. I was relieved there was no resistance but then that only proves he is slipping away more each day. Damn Disease!