I am grateful for all your comments and advice. I too try to be strong and not weep in front of relatives and contacts. I continue to have periods of sadness. It's 7.10am up early, been for a walk, brain tends to be on overdrive thinking of current issues and how the future may possibly Pan out. After a week visiting the Home it appears of a high standard with an 'Outstanding' on inspection. Management tell me not to worry, but I do. Do others feel the same? I am satisfied as I have POA that I have made the right decision and therefore the Guilt phase has appeared to have passed. Yardman.
Even if the place is 'outstanding' we still need to advocate for them making sure they are getting the care they need. Right now you are adjusting so I suggest take one day at a time. Don't worry about the future. Yes we need to plan for some things but for how it will turn out, don't let it get you down. The loneliness - every one deals with it differently. Some are fortunate to have a circle of friends and family they are involved in so they don't have that type of loneliness, just the loneliness of being 'a living widow'. I am glad you don't have the guilt. We should never feel guilty for what we have to do in doing what is best for us and them. I never felt guilty just sorry for the life he would never want.
It's human nature to worry and there's plenty of real reason to feel loneliness. There isn't really any choice except to try to find our way in this new reality.
I went through this years ago and I also felt guilt and later got over that. A lot of people live by themselves without living through horrible things like dementia - or having to reinvent their lives under serious duress or through serious sadness. My tip would be to try to come around to allowing yourself to have what you can in your future. That's not easy even without all this.