I have moved the welcoming comments from Thenneck and your answers to him to this topic. As you all know, I try very hard to keep things organized and under the correct topic, so things are easy for members to find.
Thenneck - Welcome to my website. I am sure you will find all of the support and information you are looking for. And although they are kind of quiet, we do have many male spouses. They're just not quite as chatty as us women.
Comment Author thenneck CommentTime 3 hours ago edit delete
I discovered this sight about a month ago and have been following off and on since. For some reason it is comforting knowing others are experiencing the same challenges even though none of us would wish this on anyone. I am caring for my 52 year old wife.... our 33rd anniversary next month. Very tough time getting a diagnosis, which we finally got at Mayo in June of '07. She is slipping fast on us...... I'd say between late 5 and early 6.
Comment Author lmohr CommentTime 3 hours ago edit delete
Welcome thenneck
My husband is 73 and I think he is late 5 and early 6. He has confusion, needs help bathing, dressing, Quiet, calm, apethetic, probally depressed, not interested, pays no attention to TV, newspapers. Eating difficulties with utensils. Drops food on the floor, doesn't want me leaving him home, fecal incontenence to a small degree. Sleeps well at night and most of the day in his recliner. He is progressing rapidly this summer. Going to our Neuro at WVE in Sept. and am going to ask for stage evaluation and when I should call in Hospice. What are your wife's symptoms?
Comment Author thenneck CommentTime 3 hours ago edit delete
Imohr - wife's symptoms ~ can't remember ANYTHING from present to about 5 years ago, can't get words out so hardly ever says anything, is losing her balance, very irrational behavior, no logical thought process (can't perform simple tasks), very lonely, sleeps about 12 hrs/nite then a 2-3 hr nap during day, and recently starting having "accidents" at night. Not much fun. Symptoms started about 8 years ago but I didn't consider ALZ until 4 years ago.
thenneck - Wow, you have your hands full. She is further progressed than my husband. I hope you have called in Hospice because they are a great help and you would surely qualify. When my husband has the incontenence I will have to make changes. He can't perform simple tasks either. He does have more short term memory than your wife however, he also has Parkenism and spinal stenosis with several other problems. Good luch and post often here, it is good for your samity.
thenneck - search on incontinence here and get some ideas about handling that part, at least. And look at BigTreeMurphy.com. DOn't expect doctors to tell you how to cope but do expect them to give you drugs to handle things if you can't.. she may be going down a lot faster, with EOAD, than some of ours..
Welcome, thenneck. It's good to have another husband on this site. My wife is stage 6c - no memory for events even a few minutes ago, incontinent at times, spends most of the time sitting in her chair watching whatever I am doing, gets very tired if I try to do anything more than just sit. Fortunately, she is still very affectionate, loves to get and give hugs, etc. No rages, although she does get upset with me occasionally. Then she just gives me the cold shoulder. As I have said on previous discussions, one of the hardest things for me in the early stages was learning to do the things she did - cook, laundry, housecleaning, etc.
Welcome thenneck, I am sorry to hear of your wife's condition. I am 41 and the caregiver to my husband who is in late stage 6. Just these past couple of months have I become peaceful with caring for him. Largely due to him being placed on medications that stopped his aggressive behaviors. He is very easy to care for now. I am sorry you had such a tough time getting a diagnoses. Like Marsh , we had no problems at all. I think perhaps because we didn’t seek help until he was well into late stage 4 early 5. I am glad you have found this site, it has been a godsend to me! Keep posting~Nikki
welcome to you theneck, my husband is also 52 yrs with eoad. it does seem to progress much faster. he is very sweet and loving. but the last 2 weeks have been hell. we went to the memory clinic and that started it. he has cried since. the last 2 days have been better and i pray they stay that way. he can no longer do simple tasks, gets very confused,doesn't talk much at all,but sometimes something will click and he will talk. he gets words mixed up. he is not incontent yet,but dr says to start watching for it. he needs help with dressing,i shave him now,chip nails,cut hair,direct the showering [making sure he takes his clothes off and uses soap],he can still shower on his on if i get the water temp right. i have to go now. jav
Thenneck, my wife is stage 6+. We have been married 42 years and are in our 70's. She became incontinent about 7 months ago. I keep her in Depends pull on Super Absorbent underwear and put a 30 x 33 inch underpad between her and the bed sheets. I learned how to do that from this web site. I got a bath chair to put in the bath tub so I can get her in and out of the tub without her falling or hurting her self. Its so sad for me when I bathe her each evening with a hand spray wand and rubber gloves. Heart breaking is a better phrase, but I must do it. She was once an airplane pilot and is now so helpless.
I have talked with a Visiting Nurses Association hospice representative who said she isn't quite sick enough to qualify for hospice care that Medicare will pay for. They said when she can no longer walk or stand up, she will qualify. I suspect that condition will be met in a few months.
Welcome thenneck, You will find this board filled with kind, caring & non-judgemental friends. I feel it was a godsend to me. My husband is 57, started having memory problems at age 50. He has been recently diagnosed with Frontal Temporal Dementia. He is between a 4-5 on the Alzheimer's evaluation scale.
C consider talking to another hospice program. Your wife is so close to the requirements for hospice that I think you might qualify if another agency was involved. Someone here suggested that we talk to at least 3 programs when the time comes to make sure we get one that will work for us.
A good idea Starling, I will check it out. The VNA rep said she was qualified as far as he was concerned but was fearful that Medicare would not approve it. Apparently Medicare has become more sensitive about Alzheimer's patients and their cost of $130 per day for hospice.
Yes, C, do check out another hospice -- i had a friend who's husb had ALS & she had them coming 5-days a week, even tho he didn't seem "as bad" as some who are in their last states of ALS. Another person theyknew had hospice with ALS for 2+ years!! Just depends on who you talk with and how 'they' determine the situation. I hope you are able to get more help!!
Welcome to you, theneck :) As many have said, this is a wonderful site with LOTS of good info & a good sounding board. We are all in the same boat...just that some are lower in the water than others. :( BUT, life-preservers are thrown out regularly here...so when you need one, just hollar!!
With my wife's rapid decline, I decided to take her off of her ALZ meds on Aug 31. Namenda 2x and Aricept 1x. With her being on them for over a year and still declining rapidly, I figured her behavior simply couldn't get worse. She has become much nicer and cooperative but her level of functioning continues to decline. Just recently she started having wetting accidents at night and getting up wandering around which is scary. So, I decided to put her back on the meds starting tomorrow to see if they were in fact helping. I have my doubts but I have to try.
I know that some have said without the meds, they do seem "better", but you will surely be able to tell the difference and decide what to do. My best to you! The 'wandering' at night isn't all that bad, but be sure the doors are locked where she cannot get out, or, where you have some sort of way to "know" if she goes out one...We have a dead-bolt key-lock on our front door & are in a gated community, which is normally "gated" but right now, open 6am-5pm for a new home being built up the street. I have put combination locks on our two gates in the yard and only remove them for mowing days. Also have an alarm system on the house and that came with "beep beep" on all doors, should one be opened...as a new "light-sleeper" due to Alz, if my husb were to ever exit, I'd be up in a heartbeat...this system also works well when I'm trying to get a shower & 'hear' it...talk about quick exit!! These things have given me a better peace of mind for our home. Hang in there, theneck...trying stuff is the way we learn :)
Welcome Thenneck. I have been out sick myself a couple of days, sorry to have been late posting. hope the meds will tell you upfront soon if they will help DW or not. like you say if the disease is progressing that rapidly the meds may or may not be of benefit now. glad you found the site and can add to the discussions. divvi