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    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019 edited
     
    June 1st, our weather is still erratic. Had our hay cut yesterday since we had clear weather forecast - now they say we may get some storms tonight or tomorrow. So unless they get here and get it baled today, we might lose it. Once it starts raining they predict it will rain every day for a week. I never knew what the phrase - Make hay while the sun shines - meant, till we moved here. Have to have time to cut it, rake and bale, if it gets wet during that time you have a good chance of mold. He cut all our fields so sure hope he gets here before the rain.

    Along with the weather my husbands behavior is still erratic. He is losing more comprehension of what words mean. Wants me to stop what I'm doing when he wants to eat, and cook for him. Feels strange to me that it happened overnight. Lots of little things that you wouldn't notice if you didn't live with him.

    We have about ¾ of our new floors laid. I am sooooo happy!! And DH, after fighting me for three years on this, thinks it's beautiful. And of course, he wonders why I didn't do it sooner :) I have till the 14th to get everything back in place and the upstairs done - not completed but done for now. Add in a doctors appt to that. I would so love to go lay on the beach someplace.

    Hope the weather is good where you are, we too have a smokey feel in the air but don't know if it's drifting down from Canada or more local. With all this warm weather and rain the weeds are getting as tall as the trees, not sure what they are, dh thinks they are pretty and they are in a way -- but they are still weeds. Maybe I can convince him to do a little work outside while I put the house back together.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019
     
    oakridge, since you started the thread can you go in and edit by putting (June 2019) in it then we won't start another June one.

    I saw the rain map on the news for the country, this is horrible. Flooding is a horrible way for so many people to start the summer.

    Glad the floors are getting down.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019
     
    Sorry Charlotte, since I started with June 1st, I assumed :) I don't offhand see a way to edit the title. If you know how, please do.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019
     
    You can't change that. Why not have two? One's good for the summer and oakridge maybe start one called June 2019.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019
     
    If you click to edit your first post it will show up where you can change the thread name.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019
     
    It is summer - my car said 100 degrees. A neighbors big thermometer said 98. Inside the RV is around 80, so doing alright.

    Received a call from a girl I have known since 'diaper' days. Her husband died from they say alcohol poisoning. A close friend of his died a few months ago and he really started drinking heavily and smoking pot since then.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019
     
    I did not know that.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019
     
    Never saw that edit on the right hand side, and wasn't aware you could edit a post once it's sent. Learn something new every day.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2019
     
    yes, you can go back and edit or add more to a post. That is why sometimes at the bottom of a post I will post an update.

    How is it going with your husband? On a spouse group in Facebook there is a woman there whose husband had a switch in behavior. Must be 'welcome to June' change!!

    I have favorites set up in youtube. I started my Elvis one at noon. It must go through all youtube looking for Elvis because at 8 it was still going. Some interesting old videos playing the last two hours. One was Presley giving a tour of Graceland - learned interesting things about him. Another couple were band members sharing stories of tours, recording times and just goofing off with Elvis. I have a Roku TV so was playing it on there.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2019
     
    Been an exciting day - not really. My new computer of less than a month would not go online even though it showed it was connected. I know the internet was working because my kindle and tv would go online. Spent 2 hours online with tech support trying to get it to work - first with Costco's people then with Dell. Finally had to restore it to original which means loosing all I had. Thank goodness I had not done much to loose. An hour later it was restored to factory then the task of setting it up. One thing after another gave me problems. Did I say I hate Windows 10? Now, 7 hours later I finally am up and running. I have not reinstalled all yet - will do the rest later. It took forever to find how to turn the touchpad off. I kept doing a search to find out but nothing came up. The printer was the easiest to reinstall! I am exhausted.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2019
     
    I think it was Windows 7 that caused me to switch to a macbook :) I too am an Elvis lover, bought his life DVD & CD's years ago, a gift from dh actually. Loved Graceland, so much of when he was young, which is how I always remember him.

    I really don't know about dh, some days are worse than others. I'm adjusting to this new guy I guess. he remembers the boys but if you just mention their names, or those of the grandchildren, he will ask who that is. Pictures are hard for him, I think he remembers them as little boys, maybe teenagers and now they are older with mostly gray hair -- I'm sure these pictures don't look like his kids to him since he always asks who it is. when I tell him, he'll ask to take another look :)

    Love my new floor, now the biggest job is getting everything back in place. I do want to go through things and not just stuff them back in -- but that's time consuming. Wish I had a big closet I could put all the things I'm not going to keep. Dh hates me to give anything away -- but I'm much more realistic. Crystal candelabras don't fit into our life anymore :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2019
     
    Finally went to see him today. I had a dream last night finding him in bed hooked up to an IV because he wouldn't eat. He is adjusting well. Him and his roommate are getting along well - like two good buddies. Whitley was in the first place Art was in last fall and I had met his wife a couple times. He had not been shaved since Thursday so I got him to shave. He has 1 t-shirt, 4 polo shirts and his 'Mr Rodgers' sweater on; his shorts on with his PJs over them. I managed to get his pjs and shorts off and jeans on him, got two of the polo shirts off. He lost the parts to his CPAP mask again so had to come home and get the spare mask. Broke his glasses beyond repairing. When I came home to get the new mask and I also took him back a baggie of hard candy. I thought I had gotten them to agree to taking his CPAP into the office in the morning but evidently the word didn't get around. Hopefully it will now. He is eating with the rest of them now. It was lunch time when I left to come home for the CPAP so told him what I had to do and would be back. I was in the office talking when I got back, he saw me, gave him his candy, he smiled, waved saying see ya later. So happy he is settling in and has a friend.

    He refuses to brush his teeth so made an appointment for Wednesday to get them cleaned at a cost of $125.

    Oakridge glad your floor is done. Do you have a garage or extra room to stuff everything in until you get the time only taking out what you need?

    I didn't want a Mac because software I have won't run on them. Plus, they cost more.
  1.  
    I am still running on Windows 7. I got a notice from Microsoft a few months ago that they will not support Windows 7 after next January. I don't think this old low level machine will support Windows 10 so guess I will be buying a new computer later in the summer. In the meantime I am spending my money on my next cruise. :-). Smile, there IS life after Alzheimers if you survive it.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 4th 2019
     
    You can still use Windows 7, there will just not be anymore updates and fixes for it. As long as it is serving your needs I would not buy another one.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJun 6th 2019
     
    Been clearing the back yard where the grass died a few years ago. My brother was here at beginning of May and got the tiller started. Since then I’ve been raking and sifting the roots and chaff out of that yard. Then started tracing old unused sprinkler lines. I never understood why he decided not to use in ground sprinklers for that lawn. I think we put sod in there in 2008. He kept it going with a hose sprinkler til he forgot how to do that. I’m thinking 2008 might have been the start of Alzheimer’s cause I’m having trouble figuring these lines out. I can see why he gave up on it if Alzheimer’s was starting.
    I think I’m going to try drip lines and find some drought tolerant native plants. We’re on solid granite here. I have the beginnings of quite the rock garden
    I can’t believe how much digging I did today. Not bad for a 65 year old gal. Also fixed one sprinkler line. Was overjoyed to find I am the proud owner of 150 hack saw blades! Was wondering why it was so hard to cut through the measly pvc pipe. Aha! New blade did wonders.
    Also fixed a bunch of tools. Googled what to do for old dried out tool handles and it said boiled linseed oil. TADA. Guess what I found in the garage? A great big can of the stuff. Probably was Father in law’s from around 1950. Fixed the handles up wonderfully. Especially my hoe. Like I said, I’m working with decomposed granite. Went to Home Depot to replace the handle. None would fit. Again, probably Father-in-law’s. It say it’s 2lb. Their tinny replacement hoes would break in one day for crying out loud.
    Took out the old boot shine kit to spruce up my combat boots. Found an old pocket knife crusted with shoe polish. Cleaned it up nicely. Pretty cool. He probably got it as a kid. Maybe I’ll give it to his grandson. He had flight boot laces too. So I used them. Way better!
    Reminded me of the first Generation Exercise we had after we got married. I worked for the Deputy Commander of Maintenance so got the call at 0 dark thirty about an hour before Jim did. His Squadron was pissed he showed up showered and shaved before they got around to calling him. He said he wasn’t really prepared for the feeling of kissing your wife and sending her off to war.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2019
     
    https://biv.com/article/2019/05/bcs-first-dementia-village-set-open-langley?fbclid=IwAR1N8M9oJDoJT-8jvEvZ1Y7hVudwmOzb_iJB09LS12wBWGN8oBXtU6_hcuY

    Dementia village to open in Langley BC
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 13th 2019
     
    Really quiet here. Hope every one is fine as can be.

    Son stopped by Tuesday evening long enough to visit his dad. Dad didn't know who he was - I could tell by his lack of reaction when I introduced him to his roommate, but had a good short visit since it was after 8pm. Hubby seems to be doing well. He underwear, socks and t-shirts are disappearing but part is he packs stuff up and sometimes is hard to find. They finally found the missing parts to his APAP mask so now I have it for next time. I found his t-shirts in his roommates dresser. Found four pair of underwear stuffed in a pillow - two were clean, two were definitely dirty. They are putting his APAP machine in his closet and locking the door so he doesn't carry it around. That is good plus he can't put numerous shirts on. But, his clothes basket is in there. I am going to suggest they leave it out then he can pack up his stuff in there instead of stuffed in places.

    Summer has arrived. Today is suppose to near 100. Yesterday I changed sheets to went out to a public laundromat where it is cheaper than here and they have big dryers so I only have to pay 25 cents to dry the sheets vs $1.50 in the dryers here in the park. The place doesn't have a/c and their fan does little, so it was hot in there. Before it gets hotter I am heading off to walmart to buy him more underwear and the dog needs food.

    Have a great day everyone.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJun 13th 2019 edited
     
    Thunderstorms here. It's going to rain all week. It's 70+ degrees though and my windows stay open day and night these days. We were in the 60 degree range just two weeks ago and yet everyone is glad that it's summer. If it got 100 degrees around here that would be the one day every two or three years it touches that. Global weather charts predicted that the north east would experience more rainfall in North America, and Lake Erie and Lake Ontario are at near record high levels. Flooding has been an issue in different areas like Ottawa. There's so much rain it's threatening the crops around here.

    Dianne's clothes constantly circulated in the NH even though her name was written on everything. Others stole things, Dianne stole things, and it wasn't uncommon to see her wearing nothing she owned but seemingly comfortable anyway. I brought her three teddy bears all of which immediately disappeared never to be seen again. I gave up on that.

    The one thing I feel bad about is that she hated coffee. She had one half cup in the 46 years we were married. I was feeding her lunch one day and had a sip of her tea. I had made a big point repeatedly that she was a tea drinker and hated coffee. It was coffee. She'd been drinking that stuff for almost a year.

    My Raptors are in Oakland tonight. If they win, they're the NBA champions. First time ever that the trophy will be won by a foreign country. Except almost all of our team is made up of Americans including the coach. So when you hear that Canadians won the NBA title, just roll your eyes and say "nevermind".

    Nevermind is what we should be saying about global warming too. Every geology graduate knows we're in one of the coldest periods in the last 600 million years. Ice ages only started forming in the last dozen million years. That's not a good trend. What's normal is that jungle extends across most of the planet, there are no glaciers anywhere, and Florida is a hundred feet under water. All of that is easy enough to prove but no one really wants to know. Well, speaking from Ice Age Central, what I have to say about global warming is "keep up the good work". I bet you never heard that before.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 13th 2019 edited
     
    I heard on the radio there use to be signs at the big glacier in Glacier National Park that said the glacier would be gone by 2020. A couple years ago they removed them since the glacier had increased 25%.

    I love John Wayne. Found another source for his movies at www.dailymotion.com - owned by a company in France. I usually watch my soap on it because the site is not in the US so shows the next days Young and Restless. Canada is a day ahead of the US with it.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJun 13th 2019
     
    We have a poster of John Wayne on the door from garage to house. Every time we came home Jim would point and say, with a big smile, “I like that guy.”

    It was over 100 for a few days here, but cooled down again today. I tried to use the BBQ last night and it won’t light even with new battery. So have to take that thing apart again. Could be wires damaged by critters or the switch or ignition module.

    Played golf and stopped by the cemetery. (The cemetery owns the golf course land now, for future expansion.) There’s been a temporary marker for the wife of another Vietnam vet. They made a new marker that has both their names on it. Maryanne is back together with William now.
  2.  
    DD brought the three kids up last week, and I put them up in the motel off the Thruway that has a free breakfast and pool. They visited here at the apartment, of course, but it's not really big enough for five people to stay here comfortably. We took the bus down to Manhattan and stayed down there at a hotel just around the corner from Port Authority Bus Terminal--which is in the heart of Times Square. We did the New York "thing" for four days--cost a fortune, but we had a wonderful time. I have really never been a tourist in NYC before--because most of the million times I've been there have been family visits (to locals) or work conferences. So the hop on--hop off bus, the museums, seeing a show with the kids--great fun.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeJun 14th 2019
     
    I have been looking at reports about Glacier National Park. They all seem to come from one source, Lysander Spooner University, and seems very unreliable. All of the places trumping this report are right wing sites. It is the Internet echo chamber at work.

    I looked at Lysander U's faculty list. 4 people listed, none of them with any scientific background. Their web site looks like a joke, cannot find any information about them anywhere else. Very political.

    I visited Glacier National Park a couple of years ago. I do not remember any signs about glaciers disappearing by 2020. If there were and they were removed, it could have been by order of a political appointee. The amount of reduction of the glaciers (and disappearance of many of them) was evident.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 14th 2019 edited
     
    It was on talk radio and a guy that had visited numerous times. I can't remember who it was, might have been Lars Larson since he is one of the few I listen to. I found the local station that has The Dana Show, Lars Larson and then a show with local guys. I found driving back and forth when Art was in Walla Walla I found the time goes faster when listening to talk show vs music.

    I googled it. According to the article the sign was installed by Obama.

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/48287/national-parks-toss-signs-warning-melting-glaciers-emily-zanotti

    Another article which is a little different

    https://wattsupwiththat.com/2019/06/07/glacier-national-park-quietly-removes-its-gone-by-2020-signs/
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeJun 14th 2019
     
    I read both. Both sites are very dubious. They are political sites dedicated to global warming. Neither of them have ask the NPS why the sign was removed. They make assumptions about why the sign was removed with no investigation. Anthony Watts credentials appear more impressive on his site then they are. https://www.desmogblog.com/anthony-watts. All of these stories appear around the same time.

    A number of glaciers are completely gone. Looking over the past 100 years there is a definite trend.
    • CommentAuthorJan K
    • CommentTimeJun 15th 2019
     
    I wanted to share (and strongly recommend) three books I've been reading a lot lately:

    1) Before and After Loss - A Neurologist's Perspective on Loss, Grief, and Our Brain - by Lisa M. Shulman, MD
    The author writes from the double perspective of being a widow, herself, and of being a neurologist. She writes eloquently about loss, and also gives a lot of information about actual physical things that happen to your brain and your body when you suffer loss. The text of the book starts on page 3, and by pages 6 and 7 I had already started using a yellow highlighter to mark the passages that really spoke to me.

    2) Grief Day by Day - Simple Practices and Daily Guidance for Living with Loss - by Jan Warner
    This book has a quote and a paragraph or two for each day, on the topic of the week, and then has a small project, often writing, to end that topic. This book says so many things that I wish people would understand about grief--but don't. I really do wish everyone would read this book before they try to "comfort" people who are grieving. The author of this book is also a widow.

    3) Permission to Mourn - A New Way to Do Grief - Tom Zuba
    This book I've had for several years. It was the first book that ever said any of the things I wanted and needed to hear someone say to me about grief. The author said that this is the book he wished he could have read when he lost his daughter, and then his wife, and then his son.

    All three of these books helped me so much that I wanted to write a thank you note to the authors. I think the reason they are so helpful is that they were written by people who have actually experienced loss, as opposed to people who have "studied" about it.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2019
     
    My son has been here the last couple nights. In fact he was here the 11th, then came back the 14th, so his dad saw him three times in 6 days. Today he remembered who he was - told someone 'this is my son'. Was good to see since on Tuesday he had no idea who he was. Made my son feel good. Now he is gone and the house is empty except for me and the dog.

    Last time he was here was last September for a few hours, then over a year before. So this is the most we have seen him in a long time.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJun 17th 2019
     
    Jan K, thanks for the book ideas. I haven’t got them yet but found one to try at my library website. “Life after Loss - Conquering Grief and Finding Hope” by Raymond Moody Jr., MD and Dianne Arcangel, MS. (Must be a pen name, don’t you think? She’s a hospice social worker.). They have some stuff about near death experience and it took a while to get to the point, but there was some good stuff there. Some of it reminded me a lot of Wolf’s stories. Not the eerie stuff... the more profound stuff.

    Charlotte, glad your son spent some time with both of you.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 21st 2019
     
    For those who know Frank from here years ago (Phranque), he is in the hospital. He had his upper right lobe removed due to cancer. Good news: they got it all, no chemo, and doing fine. They were moving him out of intensive care today.

    He has a great sense of humor and bet even in his pain he is giving the nurses some good laughs.
    • CommentAuthorleona
    • CommentTimeJun 21st 2019
     
    Good news. He sure is a special man, great sense of humor. Do what the doctors say!
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJun 21st 2019 edited
     
    Speedy and full recovery Frank.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 21st 2019
     
    After all my preparation/anticipation/agonizing, we ended up having a very nice visit over Father's Day, was short but any longer would have become awkward. We just don't have a lot in common to talk about these days. They are at the top of their game, we're a long way down the other side. Big salaries, work from home so anyplace they can plug in a computer they're good. Pleased they've done so well but the things they talk about are foreign to us. A big concern of mine was what they would eat. They always have something they do or don't eat. This time, they are eating three full meals a day. (will add they are heavier than two years ago :) We eat a "brunch" and a light dinner early in the evening so -- we were always cooking or stopping to eat. Couple of local places they wanted to see were closed for Father's Day which they were surprised and disappointed. Told them people who live here can go anytime so for holidays most take their boats down to the lakes.

    DH had a good weekend, they had rented a car so he didn't have to be embarrassed not driving. He didn't have a lot to do, mainly listened, and as we didn't do things that required him to be involved, he handled it well. In fact our son said he didn't see any difference in him - of course he was only here two and a half days :) Saw him two days, two years ago, so doesn't have much to compare. We were tired when they got here and exhausted when they left. They want us to come to Oregon and DH said sure, maybe next year. I know that won't ever happen, but pacified them :) Youngest son and his wife will be here about July 1st - other than change the sheets on the guest bed I don't think I'm going to do anything but rest, LOL. Sooooo glad we don't have to be dependent on any of our kids.

    The only bump in the road was when I asked a question about his son, he didn't know anything about it. His son and 2 grandchildren live near his first wife and we are still good friends so I evidently know a lot more about what is going on in their lives than our son and dil do - and we get pictures quite often where they only get a few occasionally. Their dil is extremely close to her family and living across country doesn't make it easier. Dil was a little irritated but I smoothed it over by saying grammas are different, not being parents and not being judgmental of their choices, goes a long way. Have the same problem with son in CA, his son, 19 now, isn't affectionate with anyone -- but when gramma is there I get lots of hugs. I was/am close to all the grandchildren and greatgrands.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 21st 2019
     
    Happy to hear it went fine and you enjoyed it as much as you can, and your hb did well. I agree - relax and rest as much as possible until your youngest son arrives. And maybe he didn't notice much change in his dad because I will bet he was doing his hardest to be 'normal'.

    I understand the nothing in common to talk about. When we had family get together's in the past it was mostly talking over childhood memories. My life especially has always been so different and my family as a whole has never really accepted my adopted kids. They did when the kids were little but as they grew up through childhood they could not stand my less than perfect kids. My son was here last week for two nights, three days. We talked very little - he spent most of his time catching up on NCIS while I did my normal playing games on the computer.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 22nd 2019
     
    Yes Charlotte, he did try hard to seem normal and did fine most of the time. I think it must have been hard on him as he's been so tired since they left. I made apple pecan cinnamon rolls yesterday which I had meant to make for Fathers Day and he loved them. His blood sugar will skyrocket but once they're gone, I won't make any sweets for awhile.

    It's sometimes hard to understand grown children, when they themselves have grandchildren:) As Paul said, we don't raise them alike, even if we think we do, nor should we. This one is the middle son, and hated it -- but once they're here theres not a lot you can do, LOL. We are very proud of his success, and I know a lot of what he does for play comes from all the trips and fun we had when they were kids. Just on a much larger scale. It's easier for me to converse with him than dh, probably because they are so much alike. Would guess he still tries to impress his Dad. But I've received several texts from dil this week saying what a good time they had with us, so guess we all did OK :)
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 22nd 2019
     
    #2 - dh will see the dr in a couple of weeks, mainly to check his kidney function. He had dropped 11 points at his last visit. He doesn't like to drink water and even though I constantly bug him, short of sitting on him, I can't force it. Supposed to be in the 90s today so I've been out checking the garden. He's putting on his outdoor clothes so I think he's going back out with me while it's still fairly cool. It's good for him and he used to enjoy it.

    Talked with a friend yesterday whose husband has Lewys Bodies (?) dementia, she said he has lost 100 lbs, he's 6'4" a big man. His kidneys are failing now and she suspects that will be what takes him. He's a great guy and appears fairly normal but come evening - their whole world changes. His behavior began with sundowners and it's really bad now. We were talking about the kids and she said that upsets her husband so much, the boys will say a few words to him, then go talk to someone else. He wants someone to talk to him like a normal person. I read an article about the Bible last night regarding the passage about wives submitting to their husbands. Made me think I should be more respectful to my husband. Our situation with az, as you all know, changes the dynamics of a marriage. But I could be a better listener. This morning he said I should just put him in a cage. I joked the dog crate wasn't big enough and the dog kennel is outside so I'd just keep him with me.

    He seems to be moving into a new phase. Almost apathetic? I need to do more for him these days, but he is usually pretty calm. No outbursts recently. Hope all you Fathers, enjoyed your special day! I'd better get back outside, the storm yesterday really did a number on the tomato plants so they need some stronger staking. Hope all the blossoms don't get blown off. Enjoy this day we've been given - even though it is hard sometimes to find something to be glad about :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 22nd 2019
     
    Oakridge - how nice of your DIL to send you the text that they had a good time.

    When Art would be around people and try to be normal, he would be so exhausted he would usually sleep that night and most of the next day until I made him get up so he would sleep that night. I know when I am out around people trying to be 'sociable' I am exhausted when I come home - it has to be 10 times more exhausting for them.

    I like ice water but don't drink much water. When I do, except for when I go out and have it with a meal, I end up with acid problems. I think I lack enough stomach acid which is probably why acidic pop doesn't bother me. My sister us to drink warm water with apple cider vinegar in the mornings to help hers, but it did nothing for me. I will say the first place I had Art they had water sitting there for them. My favorite was cucumber infused water - it had ice in it so it was cold. At restaurants I like ice water with lemon but doesn't taste as good at home!My feelings are: if you drink liquids whether water, pop, coffee, tea, etc (as long as not liquor) - the that is good. Art always drank his root beer, fruit punch, orange soda, ginger ale - liquids other than water.

    Haven't seen him since Tuesday - will go today, seems like it was just yesterday. Is it horrible I am in no hurry to go see him?
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJun 22nd 2019
     
    Charlotte, you deserve a break after all the troubles finding places. It’s not horrible to not be in a hurry. And you’ve said he needs breaks like that to get acclimated to being there without you. I really liked the picture you put on Facebook of Art and Jasmine.

    Oakridge, I’m so glad things went well and agree the texts from dil are very thoughtful. Bet she’s more aware of things than you might think.

    I’ve been sometimes beating myself up for not being nicer and listening more, but today have been remembering a lot of times when he would get confused around other people and make eye contact with me and that was enough to keep him relaxed around the people. I still can’t believe what a thief Alzheimer’s is.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 23rd 2019 edited
     
    Yes Bonnie- yesterday was OK. He was crying after I got there but it was in the afternoon. He kept asking why he was there, kept telling me I couldn't keep him safe at home because he wants to keep taking off. Told him the last time he was at home I got bruises trying to keep him from taking off. Told him I understand why his mom had the heart attack trying to keep you dad from taking off which he liked. I finally decided to chance a battle when we got back taking him to DQ. I wasn't ready to come back so went to the river and walked to the swing bench we go to. When we arrived back they were having dinner - it went and sat down with no problems. While he was eating I went out the back door and gate so he wouldn't see me. Him and his roommate are still up goofing off part of the night. His roommate is always sleeping when I am there. Art will sleep in the morning often until lunch! The ones that are there at night say the two are very entertaining and funny!!

    In the Tri-Cities you can walk or ride a back along the Columbia River from North Richland to the other side of Kennewick. We did the 7 miles in Richland a couple summers ago (took all summer to do it). They have benches along the way - some that swing. I so want a bike so I could ride the whole trail. From Richland to Kennewick it goes along one side of the river through a couple wildlife areas, crosses the river and back the other side for 20 miles. We did walk the trail through some of the wildlife area when we first moved here.

    I debated whether to put the picture on Facebook but it was a good picture of him and Jasmine. She so loves to lay in his arms. She gets so excited when we get near where daddy is. She did that when he was home and he would carry her around. She won't do that with me until night when she lays right next to me - if I move she moves to stay close. As one said he has lost weight. He lost 25 pounds by my records while at Eagle Springs. I think some was because he was no longer drinking his sugar drinks nor eating his hard candy. I think he has lost more weight which I will call Jill tomorrow to find out if they have weighed him. They were suppose to when he moved in.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 23rd 2019
     
    Yesterday I could have posted it was almost a perfect day in AZ land, but today he is so confused, the least little thing is beyond him. Was trying to figure out what a credit card was, had it in his hand but no idea what it was. I'll never understand how the brain functions with this disease. They go to bed as one person and wake as another. I tried to be very patient and understand but noticed my hands were shaking by the time we got through with the conversation. I had been reading but think I'll just watch TV the rest of the night. He keeps asking questions - with no reasons - and not understanding the answer. He then asks the same question in a different form - I give him the same answer but it's always new to him. Pretty soon my brain is spinning, LOL.

    bhv, you may be right. I noticed online today my dil had donated to a fund for AZ. Another dil, in a conversation about caregivers, stated no one can completely understand what it's like until you go through it. I rarely go to Facebook but am always surprised at what I find there :)

    On an up note, only my Bee Balm suffered from the big storm last night, and my huge, gorgeous, ginger lilies began to open in the midst of the storm. You can smell the fragrance as you get close. I have a number of lilies in bloom right now and the colors are gorgeous.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 24th 2019
     
    How can a fairly intelligent person be fooled by a couple of normal seeming hours? Caught up horses since farrier was coming, did the usual brushing, feeding etc - all is well. Dh helping and doing fine. First horse done, dh says I'd better hold the other. I say she's got her ears back so if she acts up just twist her ear. I move away with first horse. Mare not happy, farrier moves to back feet, horse reacts, jerks her head up dh lost his balance, fell hard and rolled down the hill. He let go of the rope so now have dh down, horse stomping around, farrier catching up the horse, started raining etc. Said forget it, come another day.

    Got the horses put away, brought in all the equipment, came in and his knee is hurt worse than I expected so had to clean, bandage and wrap it. I'm sure he will be very sore tomorrow. He said I just didn't expect that....I had the lead rope wrapped around my hand. Well, if you know horses you know that's something you never, ever do...and I said, honey you know not to do that -- but I had gotten complacent since he had earlier haltered one with no problem. I suspect the rain and the fact he usually doesn't come out when the farrier is here - made his brain cells do a little dance, and he was back in AZ land. I know better but sometimes I guess I just forget normalcy is just a facade.

    Our horses are usually very well behaved, farrier even commented they've never done this before and it was raining last month. I've wondered about the other animals too - there are times when they won't come near him no matter how much he coaxes them. Do they maybe sense something different? Maybe the person puts out a different scent only they smell? I know it frustrates him, even his special little dog won't come to him. She'll follow him around outside but won't let him pick her up.

    Our big GS is my dog, but I've worked hard to foster a good relationship between them, so usually he's happy to see him in the morning - but there are days when he won't come near him. Angers dh, which makes it worse :) Now it's time to fix lunch and think I'm going to lay on the couch and read the rest of the day!!
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJun 24th 2019
     
    This is a very difficult phase because you want him to keep doing as much as he can and you don’t know from day to day if he will remember how to do something. It is also very stressful when workers are there. For me, I was not used to taking the lead in those situations. It took time for me to learn to do that with confidence like it was the most normal thing in the world. Fortunately he was kind of used to me knowing how to fix things - I used to work on my own car, so he would frequently tell the people in the store or workers here to ask me, “because she knows”. It was difficult if I had workers at the house because it takes concentration to deal with them and also be vigilant about DH.

    When I had the bathroom remodeled it was taking longer than planned. I was glad DH was sitting out on the patio and out of the way. But I didn’t realize he kept getting beers from the frig. He got drunk. He never did that before. He got up and then fell and hit his head on a brick. So there we are with blood gushing everywhere, he won’t go to the ER, the workmen are just about finished and I’ll have to pay them. I’m cleaning him up and using butterfly bandages. He keeps ripping them off and then decides he wants to beat up the workmen. Still don’t remember how I diffused that situation. I wanted Urgent care to stitch it up but they wouldn’t see him. Said he’d have to go to ER for MRI for crying out loud. Maybe had a concussion. Well he was having none of that. So finally I got a butterfly or two to stay put.

    I think animals do sense a lot. Our Doberman was definitely his dog. But with Alz his behavior was not predictable and sometimes he got angry at her for no reason too. She would come and hide with me, but I was always amazed at the understanding in her look. It was like “we will protect each other and we won’t stop loving him either”. Funniest thing was that he would take her out in our field to run and sniff every morning. But with Alz, he would take her out there sometimes 10 times a day. She’d stand leaning on his leg looking at him to figure out what he wanted to do. He’d be looking at her asking why she’s not running around the hill. Gosh I’ve been missing Xena, Warrior Princess lately too.
  3.  
    Sounds like it's time to keep him from working with the horses, Oakridge. (Spoken from someone who used to have horses.) Small animals are one thing, but a horse can really hurt you--just like with a car and the car keys, even though it's hard, you have to figure out a way to make them stop. It just isn't safe for him or the other people around the horse. Or the horse itself for that matter.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2019
     
    He doesn't have any short term memory, not even for a few minutes; he remembered something last week and said, write this down in the calendar, I remembered something today :)

    You know this was the first time he's helped with the horses in over a year or more. He just doesn't have the interest anymore, and since we are down to just two, it's easy for me to do what needs to be done. I'm not really sure how it came about that he went out with me. Maybe it was an early farrier appt so I had to get up earlier than usual, maybe because it was raining off and on - or who knows. He caught up the mare easily and farrier was late so he pulled some weeds while we waited and I did the usual horse stuff. It started raining just before farrier got there but he decided to go ahead since the horses were already tied. Then rain got harder so he decided to go the back under the barn roof -- although we've done that before, maybe it threw dh off balance since he's never done it. He walked the mare back easily but she wasn't happy being back there.

    He has slowly given up almost everything he used to love. The new car is so different he easily accepted I'll so the driving. He loves to see the horses but never ventures into the pasture. No interest in the garden - not even the flowers that he used to take great pride in. He loves for me to bring fresh flowers in but no interest in growing them. He does a little mowing, a little weeding and walks to the mailbox when the weather is nice. No grilling, no fishing, no traveling, no nothing. If left alone, he would probably spend every day in his recliner, watching TV. He does have a deep voice that can sound gruff even when he doesn't mean it. He's never cruel to the animals but when he's irritated his voice can sound scary :)

    Middle son and his wife just left, youngest son and wife will be here the 1st, but only a week - she couldn't get much time off this summer. They love to shop for antiques and I enjoy getting out with them, dh used to but he said this morning he doesn't plan to go out with us. Doesn't have any interest and would just be a downer for the rest of us since he wouldn't enjoy it.

    My upnote for today is I'm spending a lot of time reading and relaxing so I won't be so tired when the kids get here. I was exhausted when the others left and collapsed on the sofa for a couple of days.

    PS: dh is watching an old western movie and just said he thinks he'll start riding again, LOL. Never a dull moment.
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2019
     
    I miss that Art won't just sit and watch TV now. He doesn't watch any TV, so getting him to just sit is near impossible. If he would, I could keep him at home longer. He would sit for hours outside in the lawn chair or sweep the patio, but not anymore - he has to be moving when not sleeping.
    • CommentAuthorJan K
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2019
     
    It's strange the things your mind will have you do when you have a minute to reflect. Today I calculated that it's been a bit over 8,500,000 minutes since DH was first diagnosed. And today it feels like I've been on duty every single one of those minutes! I keep worrying if I'm making all the right decisions and doing all the right things. Right now it's harder because DH has a lot of other medical issues besides dementia, and the dementia is also moving faster than it had been. But after looking at the number of minutes, it seems like maybe I could forgive myself a little if every single one of those minutes didn't involve doing exactly the right thing and making exactly the right decision.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2019
     
    My husbands declines come unannounced, he gets worse for about two weeks then seems to smooth out - but each time he loses more of himself. I try and get him active for some time everyday, because when he was confined to the chair for 6 months earlier this year he lost so much muscle tone. He also lost a lot of initiative. If the two of us are here alone and don't have to go anyplace he is fairly content. I do worry about his eating, he went from wanting me to cook a full meal every morning to not wanting anything at all to eat. I did fix him a ham and cheese sandwich earlier for lunch but now he's eating ice cream which is his go to food.

    He also has other medical problems but our current concern is his kidney function. His GFR has always been high for his age, but it has been slowly declining and at his last appt it had dropped 11 points which is a lot. He is supposed to be guzzling water - but short of sitting on him and pouring it down his throat he doesn't do it. He will see the dr in a couple of weeks and we'll see what she says. He always says he's a lot older than he ever expected to be so he doesn't worry about things like that.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2019
     
    Jan K, don't let worrying about getting everything exactly right, there is only so much you can do. This terrible disease affects everyone differently. We want to help them but it often comes at our expense. After a bad period I feel like I'm as senile as he is, it's sooooo hard to remember to do everything to keep our life together and the more he needs help the harder it gets. I find it's just easier to stay home with him rather than be out doing things I enjoy doing. I'm looking forward to getting out to some antique stores next week. These kids took care of her parents for 13 yrs so are very familiar with AZ.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2019
     
    Ok you got me working on my math Jan K. We started year 13 in March. As of today, it has been roughly 6,464,160 minutes, so I am behind you. Still a lot of minutes for any of us.

    Sure glad we are not judged on getting every thing right because I sure got a lot wrong over the years.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJun 26th 2019
     
    I don't think in terms of time but of the things we've had to give up. I was just upstairs, all my artwork, painting equipment, sewing machine and supplies - plus more than you could imagine. It's all messed up - had it setup upstairs, then had to bring it downstairs, then back upstairs - so nothing is where it should be. Took about an hour and got more done than I thought, but having to decide what will go where will take more time. I know my serger and a lot of fabric, ribbons etc will go home with my dil. The rest will need to be divided into thrift store, garage sale or eBay. I have a big tub of Christmas fabrics and am thinking of making simple quilts for the hospital. His fish finder is still in the barn, since we've not had a boat in 13 years I may just sell it without him knowing about it.

    We go in the morning for his diabetic eye exam, kept postponing it because of the weather. Then need to stop at Walmart & SAMs - bring him back home then go back in for my hair appt. He doesn't want to wait, so it will be a lot of driving, probably in the rain. The thunder and lightening and black clouds are already here today so expect rain soon. I'm not complaining since it keep things watered in this hot weather.

    I really wish there was a way to know how the "plaque" ? continues to make changes to their brain. They will do something for awhile, then suddenly things change. I remember Charlotte ordering more sports programs for Art, since he liked to sit and watch them. I know change in routine affects them -- I just don't know how :) Dh was watching an old western with Ronald Regan. Since we're from CA and I worked at the capitol when he was Governor, he was a familiar figure and when my son was dying, we received a handwritten letter from him, signed, Ron and Nancy. Since dh immediately said he wanted to start riding again, I wonder if seeing Ronald Regan sparked a memory?? One thing about TV, the stars live forever.

    I sent him out to cut some roses before the rain hits so better go check he remembers which are roses, LOL
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2019
     
    It is 'funny' how things you have accepted will hit you out of the blue. Neighbors are taking off for the weekend for family 4th celebration. As they pulled out it hit me never again will Art and I as a couple take off in the motorhome for another adventure. Now that I am feel better about where he is and won't have to keep an eye on him, I think it is hitting me more as my life moves forward it will not include adventures together. So I sit here crying for what will never be, feeling sorry for myself.
    • CommentAuthorJan K
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2019
     
    Charlotte, please don't say that you're feeling sorry for yourself. You're grieving. There's a big difference. And you have a right to grieve, and to cry if you want to.