Not signed in (Sign In)

Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2019
     
    Like Nicky I am always signed in unless I do a 'delete all cookies' clean up.

    Last night was interesting. It started with him asking about his parents and sister. He said he knew his dad was dead but not his mom. Was upset and wanted to go for a walk. Kept telling him he couldn't cause it was dark and he would get lost. Assured me if he had the flashlight he would not. After about the 4th try he gave up and went to bed. I was awaken at 6am by a weird sound. He was peeing in the shower. I keep the room where the toilet is door shut because doggy likes to pull the TP out of the garbage (only #2 gets flushed) and tear it up. Not the first time he has had trouble finding the toilet when the door is shut. Guess I will have to empty the bathroom garbage every night and leave the door open. I feel fortunate because many here have dealt with them peeing in heater vents, garbage cans, in the corner, etc.

    I will be getting serious about placing him even if it turns out to be 65 miles away. I left a message with the social worker to see if they know of any medicaid beds open in the area, if not then I guess the farther one.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2019
     
    Nicky, I have OSX on my minimac.
    On opening, the top of my screen shows a number of options. One is “history”, which is a record of previous sites I have opened. I can scroll down and click on the site I want to revisit.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2019
     
    My husband peed on the mat in front of the bathroom sink during the night. Those where the times when I didn't wake up soon enough to guide him towards the toilet. After that, I didn't sleep soundly, because I needed to hear him get up. At least, he was in the bathroom. During the day, I watched him closely, because when he'd go into our bedroom when it wasn't bedtime, I knew he was looking for the bathroom. So, luckily, the only mess I had was the wet mat.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2019
     
    Full moon coming the 21st!! Never use to affect him but it seems to be now.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2019
     
    I was told by the workers in my husband's long-term care facility, the full moon affects the residents. They're more restless, especially in the middle of the night - more walking around.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2019
     
    This morning I had to go pick him up at day care. He got out the door and was heading towards the street when they caught up. He didn't get to the sidewalk thankfully. (the door has to be left unlocked but has bells on it and someone near it). He appears to be as fast as his dad was. They managed to get him back into the locked outside area but he refused to go inside. Been a bad week for him and is forcing my hand for his own safety. I hope it is the full moon causing this change. He didn't want to come with me because we had to go inside to leave. I took the long way home. He is now sleeping in his chair.
  1.  
    You are right, Charlotte. He is forcing your hand. If he can't function well enough for day care, placement does seem to be looming closer.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2019
     
    We are having a cold snap. Ah, welcome to January. Yesterday morning & this morning was -33°F with wind & 'warmed up' to -25°F during the day. Pretty much the same for tonight & tomorrow. Monday morning we're waking up to -34.6°F with wind. Pretty much the same for Tuesday. But this is not as cold as my home town in northern Ontario - it was -58°F with wind this morning going to be -59.8°F overnight & in the morning - also lasting a few days. Brrrrr…. The homeless shelters will be packed.... We're so lucky to have a warm house.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2019
     
    Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2019 edited
     
    Charlotte, A similar thing happened with my husband right before he went into LTC. The day care center asked me to start picking him up 15 minutes early because when they opened the door for the to people who were taking the van, he would sneak out and dart around the cars in the parking lot and they couldn't keep track of him. I was worried that they were on the verge of asking me not to bring him in at all.

    Try to keep warm, everybody!
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2019
     
    We have 2 weather alerts in place right now: Winter Storm Warning & Extreme Cold Warning. As if our cold snap isn't enough, we're also getting a lot of snow, with high winds that will generate blowing snow leading to reduced visibility. We are expecting 10 inches of snow by tonight to be added to the snow we already have. According to our weather info, "surfaces such as highways, roads, walkways & parking lots may become difficult to navigate due to accumulating snow. Visibility will be suddenly reduced to near zero at times in heavy snow and blowing snow". I'm glad I'm not travelling anywhere.

    I'm such a typical Canadian aren't I, always talking about the weather eh??? Our extreme weather provides plenty of conversation material, plus it's a safe conversation topic.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2019
     
    Nicky, I can't say I've noticed you talking about the weather too much eh? Cold enough for ya?

    I just got back in from digging out spots in the back yard to put piles of bird food down. It's very cold but not that cold. When it's THAT cold, my back screen door freezes shut and you can't open it even with a hair dryer. I was advised to do that once but don't because it just makes it worse to open it the next time.

    I had to go out because the Blue Jays were complaining after doing Ostrich impressions trying to stick their head into the snow deep enough to get the peanuts I threw out from the second story window. That's not the funniest bit. That's when a crust forms on the snow and it's like little planes trying to land on the ice chasing peanuts that skid across the backyard like a Curler's wet dream.

    One story that may not be making it into the US news is that our air traffic controllers created a fund everybody is now chipping into, to buy pizza's for their US counterparts. Those poor buggers aren't getting paid and are still going to work because of the national emergence of having no wall. We've bought thousands of pizza's already and I noticed George picked up on that and bought his secret service men pizza too. They're still working unpaid too just as many thousands of Americans are.

    A big shout out to all those folk who get that politics are politics and some things matter more than that. And a big hope that somewhere soon some real leaders emerge where I can't see anybody producing them right now. When you study history, you know that there are periods like this where what's on offer looks more like last week's fish catch and smells about the same.

    Sixty days to spring.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2019
     
    Discovered this morning someone dented my brand new car in a parking lot yesterday. Called insurance, will call dealer tomorrow to arrange repairs. Looks more like dent but 2 years ago another hit and run driver caused damage that eventually led to demise of my car.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2019
     
    Sorry Paul. I don't understand people who don't at least leave a note.

    We just have more rain and wind. I think this winter we have had our whole years worth of rain.

    All those living where it is cold, freezing, snowing, etc - stay safe and warm.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2019
     
    I just got on this site on my PC. I've been going through withdrawal since the site was down but usually use my tablet and it has not been opening this even when refreshing. Better try something else on that darned thing.

    LINDYLOU - I got your email and will send msg in a few minutes!

    Paulc - I'm so sorry about the car. That happened to me the first week with my Mustang back in 2011. Now I was proud of myself for finally making a decision about the car, but am afraid to take it anywhere. Did go out to lunch on Thursday and as we were leaving the gal next to me said "We're twins!" She had the same model car. Guess she felt safer parking next to a sista!

    The sun is back out here. It was 70 for a short time yesterday afternoon. Feels better. I am not used to having so many cloudy/rainy days. Was feeling really low. Reminded me of college days at Brockport NY - just across the lake from Toronto. We got 20% of the nation's sunshine (Miami gets 80%). One May the sun came out and everyone was basically feeling like they were on a LSD trip or something.

    Last night I had to go outside to see the moon. My backyard was like daylight! Looked up and there was a huge perfectly round halo around the moon. Don't see halos very often down here - not like winters in Minnesota, and never seen one that big. It was beautiful. After more than a week of rain, the air is crystal clear. The city lights in the valley below are dramatically brighter.

    Wolf - I love those Blue Jay stories!
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2019
     
    Hopefully we all will be able to enjoy the lunar eclipse tonight. Suppose to last over an hour starting about 8:45 pacific time.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2019
     
    I’m thinking that someone opened their car door into mine. Just a dent so that would make sense, too low for a car to have just run into me.

    Getting cold here, but nothing like the cold north of me.We managed to avoid the large rain last night, but if the bands were a little different and we had the arctic cold last night, which was in an earlier prediction, would have been buried under snow today. I’ve opened the necessary cabinets and have water dripping since it will be well under freezing. Tomorrow will be cold but will improve on Tuesday.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 21st 2019
     
    Yes, I'm talking about the weather again. Just across the river from us, in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada (national capital), this is the coldest snowstorm they've had in more than 100 years. As predicted here in my province, we got a lot of snow yesterday & woke up to -34.6°F this morning. Still cold tomorrow, but by Wednesday night, it's warming up just enough for us to get rain! And getting cold again. What kind of crazy weather is this??

    The top story in another part of my province is: White out conditions, treacherous driving & bone-chilling cold - that part of the province is worst than us.

    Sorry, to bore you with weather info, but these extremes are just something I need to share. I can't talk to my husband about it, so you guys are it...…. lucky you eh??
  2.  
    Well, we're luckier than you, Nicky. Only down to zero Fahrenheit last night--going up to a balmy 3 degrees with the wind blowing today. Seven inches of snow and a quarter inch of ice. Bandit made one of his rare decisions to be the one to say it was time to come inside this morning. And the lunar eclipse last night! OMG, I had forgotten all about it, and around 11 pm when Bandit and I were out for our last walk, I looked up into the black sky expecting to see that big, bright, full moon. And the shadow was approximately half-way across it! The hair just stood up on the back of my neck for a minute--I can absolutely see why phenomena like these frightened the ancient peoples. And then of course I remembered about the eclipse, and had to chuckle at myself and my instinctive heebie-jeebie response.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 21st 2019
     
    Up to 49 and the sun is out. Nice change especially the sun. The clouds were light enough I could watch the lunar eclipse last night - actually kept looking out the window. Been spending the day printing, filling out paperwork, scanning and emailing to the facility. In hindsight should have used the time to pack his things instead, but I didn't. They prefer to admit them the first three days of the week but don't know if I will tomorrow or wait until next Monday. If he would go to bed at 10 like he use to I could do it then, but he is staying up until I go to bed at 11 or midnight.

    Hope all you up north and east of me are staying warm and safe.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeJan 22nd 2019
     
    Around 12º F in Arlington VA and should reach 29º later today. But should easily break freezing tomorrow. Of course this is the one day I’m going into the office to do training and some odds and ends, but only for 1/2 day.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 22nd 2019
     
    Paul - your in a heat wave!!

    So ticked. Spent last night packing his clothes. Got a call a few minutes ago that the paperwork is past 30 days and signed by a PA not an MD. She did send an email around 5 yesterday but the way gmail has changed replies all go on the same thread and doesn't always show up as new. Guess I need to go back to downloading into Incredimail. Called he back telling her the VA only has PA's not MDs. She is not sure that will work. She faxed the request to the VA and left messages but I don't hold out there will be a reply. So, I put his clothes back in his drawers. I won't go today and maybe consider this '3 strikes your out' type of thing.
  3.  
    The PA has to be working under the supervision of an MD. Find out who that is, and get his (or her) signature on the paperwork. They should be able to fax or email stuff back and forth to each other.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 23rd 2019
     
    For those who remember Phranque, today is his birthday. You can go to his FB page if you are a FB member: Frank Ducharme
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeJan 23rd 2019
     
    If i knew where there was a river I'd go jump in it. Things just keep piling up, about the time one is OK, something else happens.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 23rd 2019
     
    (((hugs))) Oakridge. Sorry - I think we all have been there and know the pain and frustration.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2019
     
    Oakridge - I'm so sorry you feel that way - I've been there like all of us here. Can you get a bit of respite from your situation? I had a worker from the Alzheimer Society come in & spend 3 hours a week with my husband & then I increased it to twice a week 4 months before he was placed (I should have increased it sooner). That little break was very helpful - it gave me something to look forward to & allowed me to forget about the caregiving duties. As spouses we feel such a strong sense of duty to take care of our spouses, that our needs don't matter anymore. We've all neglected our needs at some point, but it's so wrong. I hope you get the help you need & deserve to preserve your sanity. (((Hugs)))
  4.  
    Ditto to what Nicky said: Oakridge, you need a way to get away from it for a bit--even if only to vegetate in the library staring into space, or just take a walk outside. If nothing else, take little five minute breaks at home--where you just check out mentally, blank your mind, and "go Zen."
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2019
     
    Some nice news. The insurance agent called me last night to tell me the deductible is only $200 and not $500. Since this was a hit-an-run it falls under uninsured motorist coverage. Looked at the dent again and someone definitely ran their car into mine. Either pulled out of their spot with the wheel turned or pulled into the spot and hit my car.

    Yes, things keep popping, it sounds like you need some respite. I hope you are feeling better today.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2019
     
    Oakridge, throwing out the life line to you. It is hard to say things will get better, when sometimes they don't. But do find ways to love yourself as others have said. Thoughts and prayers going your way.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2019 edited
     
    I am moving forward with placing him in Walla Walla. The nurse is coming here to do the assessment after he gets home from day care. I think I am done with dealing with the marketing director because now I am speaking with the facility executive director.

    Update: The nurse came yesterday (yes, she drove the 65 miles instead of me driving there) to do the assessment. She will do the care plan, then submit paperwork to our social worker which can take 2-3 days to approve, then I guess it is move in. The prefer move-ins M, T, W - so they have time to get to know them before the weekend when the nurse is only on call. So depending on how that goes, it could be this next week or the week after. The nurse gave me the name of a doctor that treats many of the current residents so he knows AD and she said he even visits residents there in the facility

    So now to wait.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2019
     
    I was having second thoughts that maybe we could wait but every time I do something happens. Last night when it was time to go to bed at 11 he didn't want to. Three times I had to get up to stop him because he wanted to leave, go for a walk or whatever. He was confused too - when he finally came to the bedroom he wanted to know where he was suppose to sleep. I told him right here in the bed beside me where you have slept for the last 48 years. Finally he came to bed but laid awake past 1. He has gotten so he often doesn't want me to touch him I am glad this morning he was in pretty good spirits. He even kissed me when he left for the bus. Hope he has a good day
  5.  
    Charlotte, it really sounds like it is time--has been for a while. You have to have eyes in the back of your head and you can never really rest. He is an accident just waiting to happen.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2019
     
    It's all so agonizing and slowly constant. Sooner or later you're going to have to do this. When is up to you. I'm sorry that you're both the victims of this. There is no right answer where you've already had Art in a place and then brought him back. The homes are different I'm sure but you've been around this block.

    With the slow rate at which Art is declining it's likely to go on for some time that he's quite aware but unable to cope. This separation is going to hurt for some time for both of you. I'm sorry. I don't really wish for it to go any faster (for Art) but I also feel for your very long struggle.

    Don't forget that nobody's causing anything. This is happening to him and you're doing what you can. That's the cornerstone. Stay strong. You both need you.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 30th 2019
     
    Haven't heard from case worker yet, so will aim for placement on Monday.

    Stay warm and safe all you who are in the Vortex freeze.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJan 30th 2019
     
    Mary, I haven't tried making bread. I've only recently leavened to a semi-upright position and the surface is still quite doughy so I haven't felt the knead yet. I'm a lot like a Laurel & Hardy skit, big theatrical motions but very little actual doing. Maybe more like a mime version of Harpo Marx, honking at everyone with the same horn smiling idiotically showing that I'm really not entirely all here.

    Actually, I've found that going there into the pits until I was quite nuts provides a lot of material later for either drifting off slowly into madness or doing comedy. I'm not big on developing that faraway stare or the incoherent speech or waving at things that aren't there. It's not a good look. Not that anyone would notice. I don't stand out on a planet full of nuts.

    I live in a different world from most people anyway. I'm not looking to keep my job or pay off my mortgage or save for retirement. I'm just here puttering around finding out that there are many aspects to reinventing yourself just as there are many aspects to growing older and ditto for living alone. I'm also different because I'm satisfied that I've already had a good life beyond any expectations or even hopes about how things would work out. I'm a glass half full kind of guy. I work with what I have and I appreciate what I have by nature. And now that I'm not busy screaming out of windows in the middle of the night, I have a lot more access to finding out the things I'm interested in - like watching the danger arrive in the movie knowing the girl is about to fall down helplessly, or that the new president is going to want to stay president, or that there is a red convertible with a dummy in it orbiting around the sun and that thing is going to be there for millions of years. What a planet. What a riot.

    Brexit exists because of all the Poles who immigrated there to take the maid and cleaning lady jobs nobody else wanted. Bloody foreigners. And Japan is literally disappearing by the millions because they can't stand yukky foreigners either. Italy doesn't give a flying what Brussels thinks about stinking rules. Venezuela has two presidents. Lonely rural people are being anally probed by aliens who come here specifically to do that sort of thing. Just another day on the planet, really.
  6.  
    To Wolf and all you other regulars here .......
    I so enjoy coming here every day to read what comes out of the top of your heads. You are the same bunch that helped me so much when I really needed help. I'm at 97 years now and living in my second childhood but I still feel like I'm one of you.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 30th 2019
     
    George you are one of us as are all the others that have united here. We all have bonded in ways I know I never thought possible.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeJan 31st 2019
     
    And I get my car back from the body shop tomorrow. Fortunately no damage to the interior of the door, otherwise it might have taken longer. The trickiest part of the repair was probably getting the paint to match the rest of the car. White is hard and Subaru uses a 3 layer process. I am using this body shop because they were recommended by my dealer and do a lot of work on Subarus.

    Today was the coldest day this week, 8ºf when I woke up. I avoided going outside, tomorrow should be better.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 31st 2019
     
    paulc - if you avoided going outside today, you definitely would be hibernating here. Our cold spell is back - today was -23.8°F with wind chill & tomorrow we're waking up (again) to -25.6°F with wind chill (-32°C here in Canada). We're having one crazy winter. I know the U.S. Midwest is also in a deep freeze - good to know we're not the only ones freezing.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 31st 2019
     
    Haven't heard back from the social worker yet, but the weather report for Monday does not look good. Of course it can change but for now it is snow on Monday and Tuesday. This girl doesn't drive in snow even more so because the road to Walla Walla is notorious for accidents.