I cry "dry tears" every day. For my AD husband, for me, for us, for what we are missing, for what we are going through, for the AD robbing us of our "Golden Years". The tears won't change things because we are on a "dead-end road".
I "cry dry tears" because I am unable to "cry wet tears" anymore.
I smile over this site and cry over this site. Some have happy sayings but most have sad sayings. But it helps make everything bearable. Thank you everybody.
I dont know if i cry dry tears but i do on occasion feel tremendous grief when i think of how my DH used to be and what he has become and that we wont grow old together and enjoyour golden yrs either, as they say nothing is forever, and i hope that will include alz disease and caregiving-having others here who are available to comment or console us is the common ground that is keeping us sane. when i look back on earlier yrs when i was alone and no input thru message boards, going thru what the newbies are going thru here today, i feel such joy that there finallly is a spousal website available thru Joan, to find solutions to our own delicate issues and sorrows. its like a great hand is sticking out in cyber space that allows us to grasp hold and feel solace from human companionship that has a kindred spirit. i have been letting out alot of deep SIGHS lately though. it could be considered tears -divvi
When things get really bad and I am heartbroken by what will not be I think of my young widowed friends. They have lost as much as we have-but not so drawn out. We have time to prepare and they didn't. That said I don't feel one bit better-so there!
Good question! I think I do cry dry tears as I haven't been able to cry wet tears for so many years. not due to AD--just because. I often wish I couldjust break down and bawl--a couple of my friends do that and so does our daughter. But I can't and I wish I could. Dry tears don't seem to relieve me very much. I just seem to get really tense. Don't know if that makes sense or not, but, there it is.
i recently changed from lexapro to celexa (generic) to save $$$ -- i have noticed more crying now than when i was on lexapro...i try not to cry, but sometimes the magnitude of what we are facing is just too too sad...what we once had ~ what we have now...very hard to not think about all the "what if's"...when there are moments of "breakthrough" and kisses & sweet hugs...oh my goodness, the tears surely flow -- not dry, but WET WET...eyes filling up with tears now just thinking about it all...i love my husband...always have; always will....too hard to just "let go"...
You know...I just go busting along day to day, getting things done, trying to beat the clock, thinking maybe I CAN do this...and then I'll be in the midst of all that and this sadness settles down on me like fog...and I am so cognizant of what and who I have lost and the magnitude of that loss is so heavy...that is when tears prick the corners of my eyes and a lump settles in my throat...I feel it deeply but the tears do not spill over...and I take a few deep breaths...and like the rest of you, I continue on.
shoegirl described pretty well what I've been going through. the tears in the corners of my eyes and a lump in the throat but no tears are shed. It hurts my tummy. I think I'd feel a lot better if I could just cry.
Not only haven't I cried, I haven't even gotten to the lump in the throat and hurt tummy stage. That can't be good because nothing is releasing the pressure.
I also think I'd feel a lot better if I could just cry.
Thoughts on crying: Caregivers are too busy holding the plane in the air to cry. You can cry when it's over. That's what I did. If you really need to cry, put your spouse to bed, get a little tipsy, and put on music you used to dance to with your spouse - that will do it.