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    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2018
     
    Hi Paulc, the navigation system was already part of the car when I bought it years ago. I don't need the navigation but all the controls are tied to it. It's not something I'd look for in another car - doubt I'd ever buy a new car again. We have the truck with 4X, which is necessary here, but I would like to have a car with all wheel drive -- so when the time comes we'll probably just go to one vehicle - seriously doubt we'd ever spend the money for a new one at this stage of our life.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2018
     
    I took Paula with me. It was a nice place, people walking around. They had karaoke going on with Christmas songs. I guess one of their favorite games is 'Family Feud' where they break them up into teams where they answer questions. She said many of the answer have you in stitches! The place is open and plenty of light - vs dark and depressing, not smelly. The doors to outside are unlocked all the time so they can walk outside to a large fenced area that circles the buildings on 3 sides. I spoke with the RN and found out they do not use computers to tell them to give out meds. The medications are prepacked and set in cups that has a tab to turn down to show it was given (or something like that. It is a smaller place and only has memory care). The marketing lady that showed us around was definitely a sales person. Met the executive director who was not in shirt and tie but was out do work around the place which I thought was good. Otherwise, he appears to be a hands-on type vs sitting in the office pushing papers around. The rooms are nice and come with the bed, nightstand, dresser and closet. The headboard is carved some vs flat and all are made of light pine. Big clean windows so lots of light comes in. She was telling me about a man who came in not talking. Someone brought in a guitar which he picked up and started playing. They found out he use to be in a band. He now talks some too.

    Otherwise I was impressed as is Paula who is sold on it. Now I have to decide if I want to place him so far away - 65 miles. The drive there is pretty - through the countryside, but do I want to do it once or twice a week and put that many miles on the car? I would not move there until I know it works out and til spring. I do need to get doctor to fill out medical papers - will be fun since the VA has not assigned a new doctor even though it has been 6 weeks. Phoned them and they said they had personnel changes at that time so it got lost in the change! Looking through the papers for the doctor it is more thorough than the last place. Plus, he will need a TB test.

    Have an appointment with the new social worker on Tuesday so will talk with her about it. I also have the support group meeting on Thursday so will talk with them about it. It is different from last time. Last time I was desperate to get him placed but the 6 weeks respite helped a lot - both for me and him. I will also call the local place I am waiting on to see how it goes there. Also, I need to stop in to see if any activities going on. Previous 2 visits had none - the majority of residents were off doing something I guess.

    I think the 'turning point of no return' happened when I placed him. I had to admit emotionally not just mentally that it would be all down hill from now on.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeDec 16th 2018
     
    This place sound good. It is more miles on the car but if it is easy miles and you have the option of moving closer by that should be OK. It is more important that they can care for him well than you can visit frequently. The unlocked doors to the outside, though I hope they lock them during unsuitable weather, is a sign that they understand that many residents have a need to wander. Activities that involve residents is also a good sign.

    But this is a big decision so it is good you can talk with support group and SW.
  1.  
    Ditto to what Paul said.
    • CommentAuthorSedgly
    • CommentTimeDec 16th 2018
     
    Hello, Paul C. The problem you have now that "may" be related to an accident from 3years ago is exactly why I went in October and traded off the forester I hit the deer with last August... I bought a new 2018 forester, almost exactly the same as the 2015 Subaru I traded off..


    As luck would have it I had called Subaru from a number I found online, I think in New Jersey, and they emailed me a good will certificate good for $500 off any new Subaru... they accepted it with no problem.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeDec 16th 2018
     
    Hi Charlotte, This place does sound good. I know my husband could not have managed without the daily structured activities at his facility. I'm concerned about the long drive you would have, but you are in the best position to assess that.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2018
     
    I have decided to go for it. Now the paperwork and having to go to the doctor that is mad at me. I will be on my best behavior tomorrow. The other place was not interested but this place requires a TB test, pneumonia vaccines, flu shots and know when his last tetanus shot was. Once I move him I will look for a local doctor of a VA doctor there. Talking to the social worker today helped me decide. I do not do well with people coming into my home mainly cause there is nothing for them to do. This will be the final placement as far as I am concerned. I really do agree with others, one dedicated to memory care only is better, at least seems to be.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2018
     
    This sounds good, Charlotte. I hope it's a smooth transition for him. I have a question, though. Doesn't the facility provide a doctor for the patients?
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2018
     
    She didn't say they did. I will have to ask. The other place did not.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2018
     
    This sounds good and I hope it works out.

    In Maryland and Virginia TB tests is mandatory for ALF and NH placement. In both ALFs with my wife we needed not just a TB test with the past year but also provide medical records. I do not remember requirements for vaccines but they wanted medical records. I can see whey they require the flu shot for an incoming resident to protect their other residents, though they might not require the flu shot next year once he is living there.

    It is common for ALF and NH to have a doctor who visits the facility once a week. This person might even be the medical director. Other medical services might be provided by regular visiting professionals. Visiting dentists who bring an entire dental office with them is becoming more common, often visiting facilities once a month.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeDec 21st 2018
     
    And the fridge died last night. Looking in Consumer Reports and fridges are not beloved appliances, the top score is a 74. Nor are they cheap. I need a side-by-side fridge so the thewirecutter.com budget model won't work for me. Think I found a model and will call around at 9am for pricing and availability. could take 2 weeks for delivery.

    My wife's ALF took away her mini fridge. I don't know if it is because it isn't working or so they can better monitor her food intake and take care of some issues. We suggested it be removed a couple of months ago. If it is working it will be handy to have it at home. I have a half-height freezer so my frozen food is safe.
  2.  
    Paulc, The New Year definitely needs to cut you a break. You seem to take these hurdles in stride and problem solve well, but your stress level must be over the top. Throwing you a rope and hoping the law of averages takes effect and turns things around for you.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 21st 2018
     
    Last night I had a caregiver come in to stay with husband while I went to a caregiver support meeting. I have them come at 4 even though the meeting is not until 5:30 due to traffic - want to give myself plenty of time. This is a new agency, different from the one I had through the VA respite program. Those people gave me their phone number in case something happened and I always had the same woman.

    Last night was a new girl, different than the one last month. She walked in with a box of gloves which surprised me since there is nothing to do but make sure he is safe. She thought she would be giving bath care, etc. Got news - I would not leave him to be bathed with a brand new person I did not know.

    I have my number written down for them and asked for her's. She said she could not give it out due to company policy.

    I asked 'how I am suppose to contact you then if something happens to me?'

    Her response: 'most people have a landlines. If they don't, they call my supervisor who calls me".

    Me: have you tried contacting her when the office is closed?' - no answer

    Told her I don't know of any RVers with landlines - even people I know that live in apartments don't have landlines.' Told her she might as well leave then because I will not leave him without a way to contact you especially since I just met you.

    She called her supervisor and got permission. I made sure when I got home I gave her the paper with her phone number on it so she would be sure I would not be calling her.

    If I don't place him before next month, may cancel having someone come in. Will take him with me and he can wait outside the room we meet in with the residents.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 21st 2018
     
    Paul, sorry about all the problems. I hope you didn't loose a bunch of food when it quit.

    Drove to Walla Walla Wednesday. Was suppose to fill out paperwork and have the nurse evaluate him. Was nice to his 'doctor' and have to go back today to have the TB test read. Well, arrive to find the employees having their Christmas party where many of the residents were also joining in. In the main area they had a game going on and later one of the residents was playing the piano. Result - no paperwork no evaluation. She said she had forgot about the party when she scheduled us. I was a little upset 65 miles is not a short drive. Art was OK at first - joking around with her and another employee. Then I think it was her talking to him in a fast loud salesman type voice. He really change his demeanor and withdrew when we sat in her office. I sent her an email the next day after thinking about it, about the change. That when you talk with someone with dementia you have to talk slower because they can't process like we can. Also, if more than one person is talking, they usually can't process at all. Stuff she should have known but she has only been working with dementia residents for 2 months according to her. We go back the 26th for the evaluation and have lunch.

    After we left, we took the 'long' way back through a couple small towns that will sometimes have RV spaces for rent. Loved going through one, Waitsburg, because instead of normal Christmas decorations, they had small trees along the streets decorated. The one in front of the fires station was dressed as a fireman!

    I still have not decided what to do. I like the place, I think it would be good for him but do I want to have to drive so far for a visit? Would I really want to move over there, farther away from family that I don't see anyway? But with him gone, I might take a couple days to go see grandkids but another hour away would make that hard. Wish I had a magic ball to see how long before the place just down the road comes available! Staying on the medicaid program is not that easy when I need to use a certain number of in-home care hours a month. The woman that gives him the shower is working out good, but she had this week off due to studying for her exams to get into nursing school and I didn't want anyone on Christmas day.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeDec 21st 2018
     
    I didn’t loose too much food because I have a half-height freezer. I have been thinking of giving away the freezer because I don’t need it with just one or 2 people living in my house but it came in very handy. Ari took the initiative to empty the fridge today. Most of the stuff we through out hadn’t been used in some time I figure we need to buy food for this next week that is frozen or is cooked in hot water. I work 3 days so I need lunches and I usually take food that requires refrigeration.

    One store can deliver before the end of the year. The price was competitive with big box stores so I went ahead. They are very highly rated for service. They don’t have the fridge in stock but the GE warehouse has it and they will get it. I usually like buying stuff like this after weeks of study. If I had a bit more room I could have gone for a much less expensive more traditional fridge, but I think I will find this one easier to use. Plus I expect to sell my house in 2 or 3 years and spending a little more can help with the house price. Also, twin door fridges tend to be better built than a French door fridge at the same price.

    Charlotte, I am sorry for taking such a long drive for no reason.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 24th 2018
     
    Merry Christmas to all. I know majority of us probably do not feel merry, me included, but hopefully the day will not be too bad for us all. It has bothered me the last couple days after the guy next door talked about how busy they will be the next few days so is glad he has the days off. I am glad they have family and friends to spend the time with. They have been good to us and patient with Art (they are the ones with the Siberian Husky), so I can't complain. Just every time they came home then left again the loneliness of no one to go to hits. Yes, my friend Paula fixed a Christmas Eve dinner for us. Was nice of her. Never had that done before.

    All, have a safe evening and day tomorrow.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeDec 24th 2018 edited
     
    Quiet night here with my son. We followed tradition and watched Die Hard. Tomorrow we visit Leannah and then visit her family.

    I wish the best to all.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeDec 24th 2018
     
    I just wanted to share this with all of you, on this Christmas Eve:

    Dec. 24, 1818:

    One of the world’s most beloved carols had its humble premiere on Christmas Eve, 1818, in tiny St. Nicholas Church in Oberndorf, about 31 kilometres from Salzburg, Austria. A collaboration between a young parish priest named Joseph Mohr (who wrote the lyrics) and organist Franz Gruber (the music), the duo sang Stille Nacht to a small group of parishioners who braved the winter weather for midnight mass.

    Legend has it that the church organ was broken that Christmas Eve, so Mohr asked his friend to quickly write a melody to go along with a religious poem he’d written many months before. Gruber grabbed a guitar, and the two sang the healing message of Stille Nacht, or Silent Night.

    Over the ensuing years, the song was shared among small parishes in Austria, but it didn’t break beyond its borders until 1831, when the Duke of Leipzig heard a rendition at a local fair. The Christmas carol soon reached the ears of the Prussian king and Silent Night, well, has not been silent since.

    It’s a favourite soundtrack of the holidays, sung by the likes of Luciano Pavarotti, Bing Crosby and even Jimi Hendrix.


    Merry Christmas!
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeDec 24th 2018
     
    Merry Christmas, everyone.
    • CommentAuthorpaulc
    • CommentTimeDec 26th 2018
     
    Survived Christmas day. Visit with Leannah was not great, seeing strong symptoms. Her back is hurting, is the pain making her more irritable or is irritation the cause of the back pain? Either case it is a vicious circle. she brightened up a lot when it was time for her social events. Though I think she would have been disappointed when there was no choir practise (unfortunately Christmas day means fewer staff including no activity staff).

    I enjoyed visiting with her family afterwards.

    And I know have my wife's mini-fridge at home. It is working well, I am not sure why she was having a problem with it but staff used the problem as an excuse to remove it. It is nice being able to put a few things in it while waiting for delivery of my new fridge. 2 more days (I hope).
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 26th 2018
     
    Made it through yesterday without any crying or sadness from being just the two of us.

    Last Wednesday we drive to the facility supposedly to do paperwork and have him assessed. Neither happened because the nurse wasn't there and the marketing lady seemed not interested. We were suppose to go for lunch today, have him assessed and fill out paperwork. I called at 11 to let them know we would not be coming because Art was not up yet and when he did he needed to shower, etc so would not make it there in time. I emailed the nurse yesterday and expected to hear back this morning to confirm she would be there to do the evaluation but never heard back. When I called I found out the marketing lady was out sick. Asked why no one called me since we had an appointment (which ticked me off) and the receptionist said the nurse would be here to do the assessment. I told her I am not driving all the way, again, for a wasted trip. I reminded her we did last Wednesday which was a waste because of their Christmas party so nothing was done - no paperwork, no evaluation. I won't be driving 65 miles (130 total) for one thing at a time. I didn't get to he was still in bed. As far as I am concerned that is two strikes against them. I will wait to hear back from the marketing lady.

    Even before today I have been leaning on not placing him there even though I think he might enjoy being there. Not sure, even if once a week, I want to drive that distance since after an hour I am ready to leave. I think if I place him that far away I will always fine an excuse not to drive that day so I end up rarely going. It won't matter if i think he is getting well taken care of or not, I just won't want to do the drive. (I know me).
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeDec 26th 2018
     
    This is a tough one, Charlotte. I think the distance involved is calling attention to the other problems, which is understandable. It's easier to overlook things like this when they don't inconvenience you too much.

    I don't know what you should do, but a big factor is your own personality and way of operating. As you said, "I know me." I am a very hands-on person so I felt the need to visit almost every day, even if the visits were short. So it was good that my husband was only 8 miles away from home, especially since he was there for 3 years. I think a lot of your decision rests on what the other choices are.
  3.  
    @ Charlotte "Made it through yesterday without any crying or sadness from being just the two of us. "
    Me too. No tears but we were alone. Christmas Eve was the toughest as we had no power, LO went to bed at 7, so I ended up finding an entertaining radio show and sat by the fire with the pup.Thankful for the friends who reached out by phone, text or even FB. Any social interaction matters.
    Charlotte sounds like you are making the right decision regarding LO placement. I'm not at that point but it seems that proximity would be a primary consideration. Listen to your gut.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeDec 27th 2018
     
    Charlotte - I agree with Myrtle it's a tough decision & as Mrs.MountainGuy mentioned proximity would be a primary consideration.

    I know for myself, proximity is very important. The first long-term care facility was about 20-25 minutes away, with 3 traffic circles & I didn't really enjoy the drive. I had to plan my visits around rush hour traffic & also had to consider the weather - there's snow here & he was at that first facility last year from November to part of January this year. Now at this second long-term care facility, he's only 6-7 minutes away & that's so convenient. I also like to visit him daily, so now it's so much easier. I guess you'll have to weigh the pros & cons - I wish you luck with your decision.
    • CommentAuthorSedgly
    • CommentTimeDec 27th 2018
     
    Charlotte, I've been following what you're going through. And agree it's a hard decision to make. When I placed Mom I had no choice but to have her an hour away.

    At first it was ok, then when she began to rage they would call me to come and settle her. I spent many times flying down the interstate to get to her...

    In the end when we moved her from assisted to the health care section I made the trip to her every day for 32 days straight, sometimes more than once a day.

    If I ever have to place Jim he will be as close as I can get.
  4.  
    I've been following what's been going on with Charlotte and Art, and the new potential facility. What bothers me more than the distance is the lack of professionalism about the place--appointments not honored, phone calls not made--that should not be happening. It doesn't cast a good light on the place. And that drive is going to be a real bear if Art is placed there and then Charlotte has to keep going over to keep an eye on things and straighten things out.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 28th 2018
     
    I sent her an email but she is probably still out sick since I have not heard from her.

    We have two sets of steps going off our little porch. I don't like one set because the steps are a little bigger and have a painted finish. Well, Art insist on uses those and this morning he stepped on it and landed on his rear on the stair. He will probably be a little sore but had no visible injuries. I gave him a couple ibuprofen before the bus came. I moved those stairs so he won't use them anymore. This morning is unbelievably the first morning we have had any frost to make things slick. Been a very mild winter but at least the mountains are getting snow which is where it should be for summer irrigation.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeDec 28th 2018
     
    Received this today and thought I'd share it with you - not AD related - but exactly the same thing my son was telling me as it took him 6 hours to evacuate from their home in Paradise, CA. They are safe but lost absolutely everything. Residents were allowed back in for 24 hours last week to look for belongings, he said it's just all ash. Nothing left. Concrete yard statues crumbled in his hands as they tried to move them. I think the shock of actually seeing it again has been really hard for them, like they are in shock. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/dec/20/last-day-in-paradise-california-deadliest-fire-untold-story-survivors

    We are ending this year on an up note, not from anything in particular, my anti-depressants are helping and we had a visit today from some old friends who live out of state and it was good to talk to real people about old & new things - not connected to AD. Seems like it takes over our lives till we forget there are other people out there still living normal lives. Overall, I feel better and it's easier on both of us. Hopefully this will be a wonderful new year for all of us - and we will find something to be thankful for - even though our situations are all different.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 28th 2018
     
    Thanks for the update on both you and your son. I belong to a couple rv remodel FB groups. There are people all around the country buying or getting old RVs and remodeling them to donate to residents of Paradise to live in while rebuilding. They are looking real nice too.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeDec 28th 2018
     
    How interesting Charlotte, I wasn't aware of that. There are still many people living in tents, Walmart parking lots etc. but Jan 4th is the cutoff date for them to all be out. No idea what they will do - so many lost their jobs along with their homes. In fact my son's cardiologist lost his office and has decided not to continue practicing in that area. RVs would be perfect. FEMA had 300 trailers but can't find a site large enough to put them, where they can install utilities. I'll mention this to my son when I talk to him. Many places are raising money but there is simply not enough housing for the amount of people who need it.

    I was sorry to hear your husband fell, it is so easy to do with steps - especially when they get a touch of frost. I took a couple of spills myself during our last cold spell, would step onto a patch of ice without seeing it. I hope you are able to make a decision about the new placement for your husband, I know how hard that must be, always on your mind, trying to weigh all the pros and cons.

    I read recently something about baby boomers getting older and they expect about 74% to have AZ, and no places to care for them. At some point I wonder if the government will step in and do something - but what could they do? Also read old age used to be 64, now since people are living longer, you are considered old at 74. Dang, guess I'm still old :) Rarely have time to read a book these days so pick up a lot of trivia in articles, LOL. Rest well my friend, hope you find peace in the new year.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTimeDec 29th 2018
     
    I think I'll stop posting positive comments, LOL. After posting how well things were going, dh woke up this morning in a different world. I don't understand how/why, just that it is. I feel upset, and a little angry -- something we did/didn't do or just this crazy disease.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeDec 29th 2018
     
    No, just this crazy disease. It has its own timetable. It's not easy, I know.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 29th 2018 edited
     
    Oakridge - my husband has been 'different' since the full moon. Maybe it is due to all the cloudy, gloomy and rainy days we have had this winter not our typical sunny days with an occasionally rainy/cloudy day. Cloudy and windy today and warm - near 50, then we cool back down.

    The curtain is closed but today he says 'look out the window at all the people walking with their cars!'. He is telling more of his reality and not how it really is - otherwise making up stories, saying things that aren't true.

    Interesting you bring up old. I was talking with my 'diaper days' girlfriend last night and she brought up about old. She said she feels like 45 not 67. Then we were talking of how when we were little high school kids were old, then how 2000 seemed so far away, how 65 sounded so old, etc. I reminded her they say once we hit 50 we start going back in age, so 45 would be about right. She now is thinking 85 is old. She has many relatives that have lived to 95-100, so she is sure her idea of 'old' will change. I remember thinking grandmas were old ladies since the only living one I had was in her 80s until I became one at 46. Yes, I use to think 65 was old until I hit it and don't feel old. My body may feel old but my mind does not. If my hair was gray I might but it is not so far. Maternal side of family turned gray early, my dad never did. He hated me but I guess I got one good gene from him!

    So the question: what is old? Just like 'what is important in life' changes as we age and get more experience, so does 'what age is being old?"

    I will add - I am sure Wolf will come in with a good answer!
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeDec 30th 2018
     
    That's not a question that has a clear answer - luckily that doesn't matter one bit.

    I say reality is perception and that's true here too. The 'real' reality is that we go to great lengths defining human beings on the way up (toddlers, tweeners, teens, terrible twos) and pretend nothing is happening on the other end; but, life is a bell curve and our eyesight starts going and our strength, and muscle mass, our hair turns white, our skin gets tired, and so on.

    We see what we want to see and so it's not widely reported that life expectancy has probably peaked. The post war generations were a lucky bunch with a mother likely at home, real food in increasing variety, better and better medical ability, a society where hard work likely paid off, and a stable environment.

    The fact that we are living longer is a political and economic question of fixing where old age begins. It's not a real question because in reality hitting 65 absolutely means we are already in the decline nobody wants to believe.

    Some might wonder why so many people are so nuts, but I'm amazed that there is so much sense and sanity on a planet that - while terribly interesting - is completely around the bend. Just like the big 'oh oh' with dinosaurs who did nothing but eat all day so they had enough strength to walk around, self awareness looked good on paper but is a terrible burden on life forms. We're all going to die. Try not to think about that.

    The answer is that there is no good answer. If we create a part-time job for ourselves getting tested for every which thing regularly so that, if we do get something, it can be treated as soon as possible, then we live on that treadmill. If we ignore it, we may not find out we have thyroid cancer until it's further along or that we never did get anything serious and just petered out at the end, but we live our old age in relative peace from fear. Pick one.

    The truth is worry just doesn't matter because every single person gets every single second of their time and if we're the person driving through the intersection when the crazy comes through, that's our time and that's what gets recorded in reality. I do not want to know how many hours human beings clock in their lifetime worrying that they have cancer. I can tell you however how many hours human beings spend celebrating that they do not. Nadda.

    ...

    I've lived long enough to read Charlotte tell me that when she gets pushed beyond limits she sometimes just cries. I dripped tears reading that. That's one of the first times in eight years the soldier allowed her vulnerability to be spoken. I'll tell you something. You're not here to start up a Michelin grading service of care centers. You're here to survive this for each of you and that means trade offs for both of you.

    This endless experience damn near destroyed me and when I came here, you were already here. You have my respect and my hopes. When you ask me to come up with a good answer - I will try.

    Life does not make sense the way we mean it and never will. Most people are the most ready for life when they run out of time. Start over remembering what you learned and you're going to do a lot better. Just think of that predator and how different it would be if that were now (then). Life isn't like that. And if you read this carefully, you'll see that the answer isn't about how old we are - it's about worrying less and trusting ourselves more.

    You are trying to do what you believe is best for Art and for yourself during very hard times that are already long in duration. I trust you to do that. And knowing that about you, I would always welcome you onto my team - knowing that whatever happens, and whatever it costs you, you will always fight for the cause.

    Don't worry. Be happy. The art of the impossible.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU

    Don't Worry Be Happy
    Bobby McFerrin, 112 million views
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeDec 30th 2018
     
    I think it was two winters ago, we had quite a few rainy and cloudy days. Jim didn’t understand the clouds. We live in Southern California. Clouds are rare. That winter he was frequently scared of them. He was constantly calling to me to come here and look at this! That year he was scared of nighttime too. I think he slept from sunset to sunrise. That part was actually helpful.

    Sometimes, though he would remember flying through the clouds. He would tell me long stories about that too. Of course he no longer had any nouns, but pilots talk with their hands and I had flown with him so it amazed me how much I could follow those stories.

    At one point I was concerned about delusions because he kept talking about people or men in the back yard. Sometimes he would tell me long stories about arguments he had with them and how he chased them away. About a year later I figured out that he called birds and dogs people.

    He kept telling me there was a guy we could go see to find out how to fix something. He would point over the hill. I had no idea who he was talking about. About two months after he died, when I was out working in the ravine, a couple drove up and asked if Jim still lived here. Turned out that’s the guy who bought our old truck. His grandson finally finished restoring it and had won a prize. They gave me a business card. They have a machine shop just over the hill in the direction Jim kept pointing! And, yes, they could have helped find someone to fix the things he mentioned finding them for.

    On the subject of age - I turn 65 in April. I remember what my Grandmother looked like at 65. I have pictures. I don’t look like that at all.