Hi friends, I find that I am talking to myself more and more and I'm wondering if I'm going mad?? My mother says it's O.K. as long as you don't look over your shoulder and say "what did you say"? But I'm not so sure. What do you think?
No, you're not going mad. You're probably going "lonely". When you can't bounce ideas off of your spouse, who is right there who understands you best? YOU!
I'm also guessing you need to get out more with a trusting girl friend, someone you can have "heart to heart" talks with.
I hope you are right, Joan! I am also forgetting so much these days. When I was telling the research assistant at the doctor's the other day she jokingly said" maybe we should put you both in the study." Actually I am going to a birthday party tonight- there will be 8 women and lots of conversation so I'm really looking forward to that. Other people have said it many times, we miss conversation, being able to bounce off ideas without having them float into oblivion as soon as they have been said.
I hate when I am watching the news or something and make a comment out loud. Then I have to spend the next few minutes trying to explain the comment. I should just keep my mouth shut!
Inge, It is called Caregiver's Dementia. It is caused by stress and trying to do do too many things at once. At least that is my excuse. I miss conversations too.
When I'm home alone with wife M, I sometimes comment out loud about something important to me at the moment. She stares blankly and doesn't respond. I hadn't thought of it as "talking to myself," but I suppose it is.
Caregiver stress builds slowly and causes problems.
Okay, what about singing when no ones around. Or talking to the dogs. Or singing with the dogs (one barks along). The isolation of AD caretaking, 24/7, leaves this emptiness; this continual quietness... I just need to sing, or hum, or talk, or anything... It makes me happy; lifts my mood... I really actually think it's just a healthy thing...
Okay, I have to jump in here - All the years (36) that I had dogs, I talked to them ALL of the time, and that was BEFORE AD and caregiver stress. Who else is going to listen attentively, think you're brilliant, and never argue with you?
Used to be my Mom would say "Not to worry, unless you begin answering yourself." Well I've been doing that right along. My big thing lately is that I irritate the C@#P out of my teens because I can't find words and stop mid sentence. I would be concerned about my own "dementia" risk, but then again I seriously think it is just stress, and the fact that I average only 5-6 hours of "broken" sleep.
MsAbby, I don't know how you sing, but it's best when I sing when no one else is around. If they were around, they wouldn't be for long if I started singing.
New Realm I know what you mean, I forget alot & I lose words so much that I went to neurogist to be tested for ad. I wanted early detection and meds My kids don't need 2 parents with AD . Dr said probaly stress. ruled out AD Thanks for sharing PAT
No, I can't say I have noticed that. The only thing my husband does sometimes is quietly repeat something I have said as if trying to understand it or commit the words to memory.
I don't think you are going mad at all. I agree may be talking to ourselves becasue we get to a point where we need adult conversation and if it is just us and our loved one who does not understand or is very slow to compute what is said we may get impatient. AS to forgetting, I find that a problem too and I reason that it has come to the point where EVERYTHING falls on me now and there are not enough hours in a day to get things done be it cleaning the guest room or calling an agent on ins or just getting out to the grocery store..I remarked the other day that my file cabinet was overflowing, I am out of room in my brain housing group!
I couldn't resist a comment of my own here....I've been thinking that lately, when I'm around people, I drive them crazy with all my talk, talk, talk. Sometimes I realize I've been monopolizing the conversation and really have to appologize. It's just that I'm so lonely for real conversation, and just plain old have SO MUCH TO SAY, as there is generally no one around to talk to. Except my animals, who (as with joang's statement), think I'm BRILLIANT, FUN and they never argue with me. They think I'm a goddess, as well.....and beautiful and endlessly entertaining.
Are you talking about thinking out loud, as in "ok, got that laundry done, now I need to pay some bills", or talking to yourself, as in "hey, Joe, what's sup?"
I do talk to Mary Ann, I tell her I love her and miss her, and what I'm doing now, like changing the tv to channel 8. Am I nuts, or just disturbed? Or are they synonyms?
When we moved into our first apartment 55 years ago, it was basically open so other residents could hear us talking. My wife said we had to get either a dog or a baby, since she talked to herself while doing housework, cooking etc. and she didn't want the neighbors to think she was crazy, just talking to the dog or baby. Since I was still in school, we got the dog.
Joe, you're not nuts, nor are you "disturbed"....just lonely like myself. Sometimes, I figure I'm downright ECENTRIC! I talk to my deceased son (my beautiful, 21 year old that was born on Feb. 14, 1975) all of the time. I don't understand why he chose to take his life, but I feel his presence all the time. And, that is NOT "nuts"......it is love and longing. Time WILL take the edge off your pain and you WILL go forward, I promise. Have not lost my spouse or a parent yet, but feel like loosing my son was the equivalent. Jen
IMHO losing a child is the biggest pain one can experience. We expect our parents to die before us -- that is a natural order. Likewise, with a spouse, somebody has to go "first". It is completely unnatural and out of order for a child to predecease his/her parent and my heartfelt sympathy goes out to those of you who have lost a child.