this has been an extremely difficult week, it just keeps getting worse. i just don't know what to do. we had our appointment at the memory center monday and saw the ad dr. he was very nice. he didn't say much in front of dh,except that he agreed with the dx and he felt that dhs drs were doing a good job and the meds he was taking were the right ones for him.[i wrote this info in another thread but i needed to include it in this one so you will know the start of this week] dh has gotten so much worse since monday,it is just unbeliveable. he cries most of the time,i am not talking about tears i am talking about boo hoo crying. it has just been terrible. it has just gotten worse and worse. i can't leave the room. he is so confused. he asked me today,"when do you want to get married"? our daughter got married this week and just had a private ceremony. she did not want to upset her dad. our son brought him home right afterwards,of course he is getting things mixed together up. his depression and crying has just esculated and he kept asking me what were we going to do next and where were we going. i was loading the dish wash washer and he ask me how that was going to help him. he asked me if his brother was going to take him to die. we were looking at our daughters wedding pictures and he asked me if i could fix pictures for him and i told him he could look at them any time he wanted to. he said he wanted to have the pictures to take with him and i said where? and he said when i die. he tells me he will miss me. i tell you i hurt so bad i feel like i am going to explode. my head hurts all the time i have this huge lump in my throat that will not go away. things got so bad yesterday,i called his dr.he was not on call,his partner was,which i didn't like,because he knew nothing about dh,but what can you do? the dr called me and i explained things to him and he insisted that i take dh to the emergency room. i said he cannot handle that wait and i was afraid it would make him worse. dr said,do you not understand? he needs to be admitted to the hospital,this needs to be treated. he said when you get to emergency room.have them page me and you will not have to wait. i was upset about this and worried but when i was assured that we would not have to wait long and it was in dhs best interest i agreed. when i told dh,he was ready to go. he knew he needed help. we got to er,checked in,and i told them all to page this dr. i even called and had him paged twice. he never even called or showed up. we were there for 6 hrs. let me tell you i am upset.the er was full and there were just so many drs to go around. it was not their fault that we had to wait like that. i never would have taked dh if i had know that was the way it was going to be. we finally saw an er dr that didn't even know what the ad med or some of dhs other meds were. he called a shrink and he wanted to change his lexapro 20mg daily to 30mg daily of cymbalta. the dr gave dh a shot to help him sleep and said the shrink wanted us to call and make an app. that was it. the er dr was very nice and it was not his fault,but he knew nothing about ad. in my oppinion,the dr that insisted that i take dh to er had no excuse for how he did us. i will never take dh to er again unless it is lifethreathing and i certainly wil not deal with that dr again,but if he is on call for dhs regular neurologist,how will i get around that? i needed to talk. at the rate dh is progressing it will be less that 12 months until total dependence. jav
jav, I'm so sorry you had such a horrible experience, after doing everything you could to avoid it. My DH sees a psychiatrist for his "mood meds" and there is a psych er I can take him to if necessary. I feel they are really more prepared to deal with the crying, anxiety, etc., and you are not waiting behind patients with more recognizable illnesses and injuries.
Do you have another dr. your DH sees? It seems like we all see a variety of doctor types that are more or less comfortable with some med prescriptions, some neuro., some psychiatrists, some family practice, internists., etc. The neurologist we see is more of a memory specialist, and defers meds to other drs. Perhaps there is another, more AD friendly dr. who can help in your area?
Jav, dear, I know how hard this is. You do all that you can to get some relief and then those who should help either don't show up or, truly, do not know what to do. I think everyone in the medical field should have some basic training in dementia, they are so clueless. I wish I could do more than say that I have shared your sorrow & frustration. Talk to his regular doc & see what kind of emergency protocal he would suggest when he is not available. What he has now is not working and he needs to know. When he would ask, I always told my DH we would get married in the morning and that pleased him so much. Then he'd say, 'won't the kids be surprised to know they're legitimate?' and I agreed that they surely would. I hope you can talk to someone, that your children will hug you, this is impossibly hard. Take care of yourself, I know, it's easier said than done, but try to remember yourself, too.
The Alzheimer's Association told me that in certain circumstances (they were talking violence, but it would be true for your LO's situation too) that you dial 911 and tell them you need someone to take your husband to the hospital.
You go in WITH the paramedics. In this case you tell them that the doctor ordered you to take your husband to the hospital. Once the paramedics are involved for some reason everything else works better too. You don't wait in the waiting room, you get taken right in because the paramedics did the triage on the way to the hospital.
I know, we all tend to not want to call that ambulance in, but we ALL need to get in the habit of asking for help with this mess we are living in.
One more thing, because I was the one going into Emergency most recently, I realized I needed packets with all of the information for both me and my husband sitting on my desk (or on the refrigerator) for emergencies. The pocket folder has all of our drugs, the names, addresses and phone numbers of all doctors, and the name and phone number of the patient advocate for each of us. The idea is to give the ER doctors as much info as they need to get us the help we need. When I went in for asthma last year, SHE called in and they were waiting for me because she knew we were driving in ourselves, but that is an exemplary hospital. Using the paramedics works better in all hospitals, even that one.
What that Dr did to you was horrible. As a Dr, If I send someone to the ER I always call the ER and tell them to page me as soon as they arrive. It is inexcusable that he would not return your calls. Your husband was having a crisis and needed help. If the neurologist does not respond, call your primary care Dr. He or she should answer. My heart goes out to you but there is help for him. Calling the ambulance is an excellent idea. They are in contact with the hospital before they get there and it does make things go much smoother. Please make sure your Neurologist is aware of what happened to you. It is important for him to know how his patients are being treated when he is not on call. Take care. I hope this week is a better week for you..