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    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    Rodstar - glad to hear you're finally getting a break from caregiving. You will be able to enjoy her company more now that you're visiting instead of full time caregiver.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    Rodstar, bqd, continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayer. Glad you both are able to experience less pain and stress during this difficult time.
    • CommentAuthorRona
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    Good luck to both of you bqd and Rodstar as you move into this new phase of your life.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    I am so sorry, bqd. I hope that eventually the good memories will come back.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    Just got a call from my sister. My niece died this afternoon. The one I was so angry about on Tues cause they wanted me to pay her medical bills. Must have been a brain tumor. They had MRI appointment for Tuesday. They are in Florida. I'm in CA. May as.well be another planet.
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    Sorry Bhv. It is so hard when they are so far away and we are stuck where we are. If it was a brain tumor, it is good she went fast. We all know what it is like to die a slow death. And please do not beat yourself up because you didn't want to pay her medial bills. If you had it still would not have affected the outcome.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    Oh, Bhv, I am so sorry to hear. Carrying you in my thoughts and prayers. So much for you to have to emotionally carry all at the same time. Charlotte is right in her advice to you. You take care of you. That is really important. Most important.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    Today is our 45th wedding anniversary. Have mixed feelings - I know I should celebrate but finding it difficult to want to celebrate when I'm the only one who knows it's our anniversary. Went to visit my husband & told him it was our 45th anniversary. He didn't understand or realize what that meant. At least he & the other residents enjoyed the ice cream cake I brought them. I've been remembering how happy I was on this day 45 years ago & how I feel today - from very happy to very to very sad. I wonder if he'll see our 50th?
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    With Alzheimers I think we should eliminate SHOULD from our vocabulary. The ice cream cake was.a.nice touch. I'd say just about perfect. I don't even feel married any more. It is a legal contract. Nothing more. Kind of like a prison sentence. But Tues is his birthday.and I am going to make his usual angel food cake. Lindylou... I got some blueberry pie filling and lactose free whipped topping just for us. I will pretend you are here for the party. LOL
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2018
     
    We just had our 47th. We will probably make 50 but it won't mean anything compared to a 'normal' 50th. My husband's parents had a big 50th party but it meant nothing to my FIL.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    Back to another heat wave. Not as much humidity though so it might actually be bearable this time.

    Nicky and Charlotte, our 42nd anniversary was in April. I cried but didn't even mention the day to my DH. There was no point, and it would have made me even sadder.
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    I agree - mentioning, trying to make it something special makes me sadder too.

    As most of you know we live in an RV park. They people next to us moved out a week ago but they left their porch and old pickup filled with junk they had under their trailer behind. I guess his parents who live across from us will deal with it.

    So last night I was back on the bed watching tv when he comes back all upset and tears in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong. He had trouble getting it out so I followed him out the the living area where he pointed at the truck. Then he said something like "I don't care what they say I am not responsible if someone takes their stuff'. I explained to him they will be back for it and it is not his responsibility. A few minutes later he came back upset again= again I explained but this time telling him the guys parents across the road would take care of it. It was not his responsibility. He seemed to understand this time and was relieved. Another stage, another loss.

    Then this morning he looks in pain, sits back down on the bed. I asked him what is wrong. Takes him a while but he finally says 'I hurt down here' pointing to his groin area. Well, he gets a rash on his inner thighs and if I don't get the diaper rash creme on it it will spread to his genitals. I had him pull his pants down and slathered him up. I am thinking it might be a strep infection like I had for 10 years on my inner thighs or jock itch. I guess it is time to go see the doctor and make him do something more than sit at his computer! I will get it cleared up then it comes back which I think is from his sitting, sweating and only once a week bathing. Placement can't come soon enough!
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    Charlotte - is there not a residence near you to place him? Is he not advanced enough to be placed? Since I'm in Canada, I don't know the criteria there.
    • CommentAuthoroakridge
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    Hi, rodstar,good to hear things are improving for you. I've been wondering how your wife was doing with the cancer on her face?
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    I have his name on two medicaid wait list. One place he is number 5, the other I don't know. But Medicaid will have to agree he meets their criteria too.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    Charlotte, that's similar to here. Once the patient meets the criteria, they are put on a waiting list for long term care. I never knew what number my husband was, but his wait was not too long because he became a priority due to his behaviour. It's strange to think that his "bad" behaviour was beneficial, since it moved him up on the list quicker.
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    I just filled out the application. Will mail it tomorrow. I can earmark $1500 of the saving for burial savings which will cover cremation.

    Last night I was outside with the cat and dog around midnight - decided to sit on the porch for a while - it was quiet, peaceful and cooled off (about 70). When I came in it hit me that life is so much like when the kids were growing up. When he was not home the kids played, could be noisy, run in and out, etc - just have fun as kids. When he got home - it was quiet, no fighting or running through the house, etc. The cat goes in and out or just stays out most of the day. When he is home for some reason he doesn't think it wants to stay out She can be sitting on the porch sleeping or looking around and - she wants in. She crawls under the porch (made it so she could to hide) but thinks she should be inside. So when he is home it is a constant in/out - I put her out, he brings her in. She will sit and plead to go out if you don't let her. Sometimes I am so tempted to let her out off leash so he can't bring her in.

    He is really confused lately. I don't know if it is because he doesn't have glasses or not. So Friday I will take his prescription from 2 years ago to Eyemart where they advertise 2 pair for $77 dollars. Then will see if that helps his confusion and not break them for a while.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    His concern about the neighbor's truck reminds me of my hb. He frequently gets upset about some boulders near the end of the neighbor's driveway. He used to jump in his truck and go try to pick them up. One time a package delivery guy drove up right behind him and they nearly got into a punching match before I got there to break it up.

    My pool pump died yesterday. It is not quite 4 years old. This is very aggravating. The store says to call the manufacturer. Of course they are on East Coast. Will try again in the morning. Spent all day researching pool pumps thinking I have to buy a.new one.

    Plants are turning brown after three days over 110 degrees. We'll see how many survive. Cooler now, but a Mexican hurricane is bringing humidity. There were some storms and flash floods in the hills. Remember the old western movies with flash floods?
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTime1 day ago
     
    We have been hovering around 100 for a few days now. Humidity has been low (teens) but the dew point is higher so it seems hotter than it is and muggy which is not normal for here. The new a/c is keeping it around 80-82 in here but it has to run all the time until around 8 when the sun goes down. We had bought one of those shade clothes a couple weeks ago and finally wrapped it around the front - it does make a difference. I have the oval grommets I want to put on it so we can attach it using the twist eyelets the MH came with. I will need to borrow or buy an 8 ft ladder -my 6 ft is too short for me. Right now the shade is held on with bungees and clamps. When we bought the motorhome the shades were in the storage bay. I didn't think to look until we got home finding them gone. Called the dealer and he denied they were there.

    By Saturday I was 'I can't wait until Monday' when he goes to day care again. Today has not been so bad but he had a shower Friday and stinks. I will have to make sure he has clean underwear on tomorrow. In the meantime I am making use of the Breeze we have (we use to sell them). It is a machine that cleans the air and puts out ozone which does great on odors.

    I did get the financial paperwork mailed off to Medicaid for the long term care. They should have it probably Monday but when they get to it who knows.

    Figured out how to use Vudu on my Roku TV. I found the original 'Yours, Mine and Ours' with Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball that is free with ads. I like the remake too but love the original.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTime6 hours ago
     
    DMV visit accomplished without incident. His license expired this month. Got a CA "Real ID", free for seniors. I didn't explain what it was about. Just said we had an appointment. Pointed him in the right direction. Fortunately the people quickly got the idea to listen to me and let me help him. He was even able to sign his name in two out of the three spots. And they could live with that. What a relief.
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      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTime6 hours ago
     
    good news bhv. Every little bit of good news is something we all like.

    My husband came home from day care and sat down in his chair. I looked over later and he was leaning forward sleeping I guess since he didn't answer me. He looked a lot like the 'thinking man' statue except his head was just hanging with his forearms on his lap. Weird - another phase coming I guess.