I have had a very difficult time with my Dh. He would not listen to me and sometimes this caused quite a lot of stress for waiters or waitresses if I took him out. Demanding arrogant behaviour with staff at store and at the LTC. Four and a half years of his attempts to control staff and activities there.
My stress level was over the roof and I just didn't know where to turn for help.
About three weeks ago my oldest son came and met with the head nurse and with my dementia councillor at the Alzheimers Society.
He then took his Dad out for coffee and literally laid the law down like he was dealing with a naughty 10 year old.
We also had the nurse talk to Dh's Doctor and insisted that he do the same. He did and now Dh is not allowed to boss the staff around like he is boss. If he has a problem with staff he has to keep it in his little file and talk to the Dr. when he come.
So far the numerous emails to staff and the violent outbursts have stopped totally and he is doing fine.
NOW YOU SEE I SAID "SO FAR" We don't know how long this will last before he goes back to thinking he runs the place, but so far so good.
He has been told that my son is now the main contact with the staff and this seems to keep him quiet. My son was pretty firm with him.
My stress level has greatly settled down and I am getting out more now that spring has started to come.
I am told by his nurse that they can see what he does to me and it is abusive and they have been concerned for my well being.
It's really something to see all the different ways that a caregiver has to try to get some peace in our lives. I actually thought that when he went into longterm care I would stop being the whipping post but it actually got worse. I should have called my son in sooner.
18 years now!!! His physical condition is very good and so it could be a very long time before he has peace from this disease. I don't know this man and now the kids are finding the same thing. They don't know their Dad.