Glad I caught up with Everyone, Had checked in a couple of times and couldn't find anything current. I sometimes think how lucky I am that dh can still do some things, get the mail, take the trash out etc. I too am/was contemplating a move back to Ca to be nearer the kids but think that would create more problems, as one of you said. Like the term, Velcro spouse, that describes it so perfectly, we must be in the in-between stage. Not bad enough for this but too bad for that and I'm caught in the middle. Like the term Sandwich Generation they gave to the generation that was taking care of parents while still raising their own children. I feel so squeezed and trying to deal with each item as it comes but seriously wonder how long that can last. He just had his annual physical and is actually in better health than I am - but no memory. After we do the, who's on first routine, while trying to figure out what he wants I begin to wonder which one of us is having problems :)
Glad this place is here, I wouldn't dare tell friends how our life is now. We are slowly drifting away from friends and the grocery store is a big day out. I want my husband back ! How hard it must be for him to have a glimmer of who he was - and who he is now. The sun is shining today, finally, and he tried to hang the gate back but got it upside down. After an argument I finally said, go ahead and put it up any way you want - as long as it's back up. It was something I couldn't do - so it's up....upside down but swings on hinges again, lol.
So I am sick. Wondering if 911 will come if I call and cant talk. Wondering if I should tell his sister how sick I am. In the middle of a coughing fit he poops in his pants. Holy sh*! Literally. He cant figure it out. Someone else did it. Lately he has been cooperative, but not this time, OH NO, not when your wife is like dying here, that's when you should complain about every step and smear poop all over the place. Get him cleaned up and as I walk by his chair he smiles up at me with the most angelic smile. After an hour of cleaning the bathroom, washing clothes etc, I sit down and look at facebook. BIG MKSTAKE. I still cant stop thinking about my cousin's post about what she would tell her kids if she was diagnosed with alzheimer's. Now I am going to puke my guts out.
Charlotte, I won't care what happens to the books. I kept thinking about Mr. Toad's wife (on the alzconnected site) "reading" catalogs by tearing out the pages.
We are watching Dodger baseball. Vin Scully retired and they have their own sports channel now. Once I. Awhile they show a game on channel 5. Last year I couldn't stand the announcers, but today they are nit being annoying.
I am not sure what to do about the tv. We had heavy winds for a few days and I have been trying to re-point the antenna on the roof. But today I saw that the coax cable s no longer attached to the antenna. It was weird that many channels were.coming in just fine. So I hooked up some rabbit ears, but channel 7 sometimes is difficult to get. I guess I will take some photos and see if the Radio Shack store is still open - as in does the store still exist, nit if it is open right now. I am not strong enough to lift a ladder to climb up on the roof while I am wheezing. Tried explaining what I did, but hb just gave me a blank stare.
My doctor out of town. I am supposed to make it thru the weekend and call on Monday. Went to pharmacy today and they recommended Broncaid for the wheezing. This afternoon I was doing much better. So I washed his hair, helped him shave and cut his hair. Finish that and find him in the garage. He has removed the trash bag from the can and peed in the trash can. Which of course has holes in the bottom so now there is pee all over the garage floor. I try to remain calm as I say the trash can is not a toilet. He calmly watches me hose out the trash can and wipe up the floor. No comment.
I would really like someone to tell me just WTF is going on among the neurons in his brain. He doesn't understand anything I say. If I want to help him change clothes I break it down into miniscule steps and it takes about three attempts before he understands that.
Tonight supper actually tasted good even though everything is cut up into bite size pieces. All.day long he jumps up and follows me into the kitchen and stands there in my way staring at me saying nothing. Gets violent if I have the nerve to ask him to leave. But finish his food and does he get up to bring his dish into the kitchen. Hell no!
Tonight the coughing is back. Still too dry. All my muscles are so sore from this. I am in tears trying to get it to stop. Was wondering if I called 911 would they find me even though I couldn't talk. I no longer care. Won't call 911. Who cares? I was concerned about what would happen to him if I don't survive one of these coughing fits. Nope, no longer care.
His voice is deep and I gave him some sudafed, hoping he doesn't get dizzy like he did last year at this time. But, no, according to him, he doesn't have allergies. This evening he coughed a couple of times. What if he gets this kind of cough?
Maybe someone would like to tell me how much empathy I should have for him at this point. Maybe someone should remind me how much alzheimer people like smiles and hugs? Maybe someone should tell me that I shouldnt just let him watch tv all day I should plan activities to stimulate what brain cells are still there. Yeah, well maybe not so much.
My husband started coughing yesterday. He coughed all night. Had him take his CPAP off thinking maybe that would help. Nope. I kept telling him to lay on his side which did cut down the coughing but he quickly turns back onto his back. Maybe got 2 hours total of sleep. He insisted on going to the store with me agreeing to stay in the car. Nope. Thankfully he only coughed once in the store. It took three tries to get him in the shower this morning (shower day). He kept getting dressed when I left. He was so tired and confused today I had to adjust the water for him, turn the water onto the handheld, coach him on soaping up and shampoo his hair. I am hoping the confusion today has a lot to do with not sleeping well. Sure hope tonight is better. Of course he doesn't remember he is sick. Why can't the parents, spouse, whomever keep someone home from day care when they are sick? Or if not possible, day care needs a place to isolate the sick ones. I have a feeling he may be home all next week unless it clears up quickly.
Went to turn the water on about an hour ago - no water. My first thought is panic that a pipe in the motorhome broke - maybe the one that is leaking. Nope - whole park is off. A pipe broke at one of the sites. The pipes are down about 5 feet so it takes a while to dig down and find it. Three years ago we had the break - noticed the water bubbling up. We had to move our MH out about 10 feet and took them about 4 hours to fix it. Of course he goes to turn the water on and doesn't remember.
Wow - he is bad tonight. Gave him some cough medicine and ibuprofen and a bottle of water to take the pills with. He put the pills in the bottle and put the cap on it. He is in bed - have a feeling it won't be any better tonight. Guess that is how it goes.
Bhv - to be honest I don't give him hugs. When I 'detached' years ago from him that included hugs. We still kiss when he leaves for the bus, but that is it. He gets hugs and smiles at day care and that will have to do. I know - I am heartless. There are nights when he is sleeping when I go to bed I will put my hand on him, but that about as far.
Hugs and smiles have been gone for quite some time now. Hb is also much more confused than normal too. He doesn't know which side of bed to get in. Sits in my chair. Keeps taking shoes on and off. This morning had two different kinds of shoes on and one was on the wrong foot.
After last coughing fit I took cough medicine even though she said I didn't need it with the Broncaid. I am quiet now. Just so sore and angry. Thanks for beng there tonight Charlotte. I am sorry your hb is sick. Every day I think how much worse can things get. And then down the rabbit hole we go. I hope you get a bit of sleep my dear friend.
You ladies hang on. have you tried to get placement in a VA home. I sure that I have missed your stories on that, but I was just curious. your stories are scary. It is worse when you are sick as a dog. Just know, I care too.
Bhv- wonder if it is the full moon making them worse? We will see in a few days.
Rodstar - I need to go talk with someone at a nursing home or memory care to find out qualifying for placement, applying to Medicaid, etc. VA social worker could not tell me. Since he does not have service connected disability they won't take him. There is a possibility he could go into the new facility they built in Walla Walla except it is not locked which he would need. I think she said the only locked memory care in the VA system is in Bremerton which is a long ways away.
I was going to talk to one of the women last Tuesday at the meeting that I never made it to. She recently placed her husband. This week my main focus is to get the water leak done. Praying he finds it quickly and won't be too much to fix it. Any prayers will gladly be appreciated.
on alz posts i read a lady was getting her husband placed soon. he was at same level. also I did look into the aid and attendance program. you can get two thou $$$ out of that program. i you would quaify I am sure. did u speag to couty rep? in counnty offic ,- veterans representative.
Charlotte I completely forgot about the moon, even though I was marveling at the moon shadows when I woke up in the middle of the night. I am much better this morning. Only one life threatening coughing fit last night and was able to swallow medicine so calmed down fast. I was actually depressed to find myself still alive this morning though. Hi Rodstar. Been thinking of you lately too.
bhv - hopefully you're on the mend. When I read that you were actually depressed to find yourself still alive this morning - I know the feeling - I've felt like that many times & it wasn't because I had a bad cough.... I wonder how many of us have wished we would not wake up the morning??
Rod - for us we do not qualify. We get too much in SS. Even when it was just his SS we had too much. Now for two I think the max is around $1700.
Bhv - I didn't think about the moon until I was typing that last night, so we both are slow at blaming a beautiful moon for causing negative things!
I gave him a tums cause it dawned on me some of it could be his GERDS. I had stopped the medication a few days ago to see if he still needed it. The coughing from the cold could have made the reflux worse. He slept all night without coughing but has done it non-stop since he woke up an hour ago. Hopefully it is reflux and the GERDS meds will take hold soon.
A pipe broke in the park last night - was discovered around 9. Water still was not on at midnight but was at 1:30. It sure confused him last night with no water. Glad it is back on. I have to remember the positive: 4+ hours without the leaking pipe in the MH leaking!!
Have a good Easter everyone. Just another day for us. He is watching the Boston Bruins now. When he is placed I can start looking for a church to make that connection again.
I don't think I wake up depressed cause I am still here, more like depressed he is still alive and breathing. I hate this life for both of us. My mother always said if she started forgetting like her mom, she would kill herself. Problem is she forgot. Instead she went on to live a life basically with the last few years confined to a wheelchair in a sombie state. She had CHF on top of the dementia which robbed her of even more. My sister insisted they treat it when the fluid built up around her heart. If they had not she would have died years earlier.
The moon is a real thing. Psychiatric hospitals, emergency rooms, police departments, maternity wards, and the adult day care center all will tell you they have no idea why, but the full moon "brings em out of the woodwork".
"Maybe someone should tell me that I shouldnt just let him watch tv all day I should plan activities to stimulate what brain cells are still there."
bhv, don't feel bad about that one. Many people push their LO into activities to stimulate them and end up overstimulating them. I suspect is that if he is watching TV all day that is what he is capable of.
It is extra hard being a caregiver when we are sick, when we are feeling poorly. It takes a team of people to provide care for my wife. I don't see how I could do it with a companion for her while I'm working. And when I'm sick I don't see how even that would have worked out.
Speaking of full moons - I went to visit my husband this morning & he was sound asleep in his chair (refuses to go to bed during the day). The PSW told me all the residents had a bad night - they were up & down all night, because of the moon. In the past I never noticed the full moon affecting my husband or myself - well if it did it wasn't enough to make a difference. When my husband was teaching, he'd tell me how hyper the kids would be during a full moon.