The latest blog I have is 11-6, so I don't know just what you wrote, but I'll be watching for it. My nature is to have a buoyant, positive disposition, but there were times when that just flew out the window when I went well over the top--altho I think I was justified. Being positive 24/7 for years on end is possible for a saint, and I do think that it is a good attitude in all of life, but it was all but impossible for me to maintain on many occasions. Wish it was otherwise. As I learned more, I'd apologize to my husband, tell him how much he meant to me, but it's tough.
As Betty said, being up 24/7 is all but impossible. I really try though. I keep my voice cheerful and try to be bright, sunny and cheerful. It is all an act. My sister told me when they stayed for a week, that she was exhausted just watching me. I rarely get angry as it backfires. Also, always in the back of my mind is a conversation we had with a woman who knew Gord when he was a kid. Her husband had died of Alzheimers. It was a couple of years ago so I knew that Gord probably had the disease or t least a close cousin. She actually boasted that she didn't care what they said about getting angry. She said it made her feel better to yell and scream and he forgot it in a minute anyway. Her face floats in front of me when I am thinking of even being angry a bit. I still remember how I wanted to smack her. Her face was just so smug as if she had told us a good story.
I do understand that bit about it all being an act. I do tend, as much as humanly possible, to maintain a therapeutically positive demeanor--much as I might if I were a nurse dealing with a patient. There's no point in being mad or fighting. Fighting is for 2 people who are on equal footing.
Oh, I hope the Blog didn't sound as if I meant we should be positive and upbeat 24/7. I would think that is IMPOSSIBLE, unless we're on some heavy duty "happy pills". Although I can tell you, the speakers seemed to express the "positive attitude all of the time" philosophy. But it was their job to motivate us.
I think we need a mix. Cry when we need to; get angry and yell when we need to; have a pity party when we need to; but try as best we can to find some laughter and keep a positive attitude at least some of the time.
I try to stay positive and keep my tone of voice sweet or at least not angry. Most of the day I can. Lately with the clinging to me and sundowning, I am finding it harder and harder! If he would just let me alone for more than 5 minutes. Until this started he let me have my space. Thank goodness he is a good sleeper, 7 PM to about 9 or 10 AM. No naps now. Oprah had Ciline Dion on today. There were a couple songs I got teary on.
I think I need to find a time to exercise to get rid of the stress.
I do an ok job of keeping a positive attitude - until PMS hits. Then I just want to sit and cry and have a very big pity party. That's where I'm at today. That's also when Robert seems to want the most attention. I think he has sympothy PMS...
I try to stay upbeat as much as possible. It seems that Robert will sometimes mirror my emotions, so it helps him to stay upbeat if I am.
Sometimes I think God is playing a cosmic joke on me...I'm in premenopause and so irritable...and my husband has ALZ. Quite the combination. I do try to stay positive, because that is my personality type and because it seems to work. I hear you Leighanne...if I stay calm, it's easy for my husband to stay on an even keel. Also, for me, a new pair of shoes always brings a smile to my face.
Emily, I need to remember what you wrote yesterday---fighting is for 2 people who are on equal footing.If I can keep that in mind it will make life easier for both hubby and I.And of course it's very true.Thanks!!