Well, like so many before us, the end came unexpectedly and surprisingly fast. The love of my life passed away on Dec. 23. On the Friday (22nd) before I had gotten a call from the NH telling me he had a seizure, was briefly non-responsive, and then regained response and the Dr. had seen him and felt he just needed time to recover from the seizure. They had fed him, and continued to give him meds by mouth. When I got there he had what sounded like a respiratory problem that hadn't been there on Weds., and when I questioned them they said "we don't think he aspirated". They continued to feed him, though they had changed the consistancy of his food, and it appeared he couldn't swallow it, and I stayed with him throughout the day & into the night. They had put him on oxygen and he had a fever. Then I ran home to take care of my animals at about 2:30 in the morning. While I was gone he had another seizure and they called an ambulance and had him moved to a hospital. I hated to see him moved in that condition, as now he was expressing pain in his limbs when moved, but otherwise non-responsive. They did a chest X-ray and his lungs were full of aspiration pneumonia, a respiratory therapist could not suction as the throat wasn't responsive, and his eyes weren't either. They said treating the pneumonia would only prolong suffering, which at least helped me know what was needed. They said the NH was probably uncomfortable with his condition and I waited around for someone from a hospice they called to come from another town, as they said the hospital couldn't keep him there (for 4 hours). Finally I decided to have him moved back to his room the NH after locating a private Hospice- a different agency assured me he would have a private hospice nurse, and have meds to keep him out of pain and to prevent more seizures. Finally got him moved back by about 1 PM and he passed away about 8 hours later. We listened to some of his favorite music (he was a musician) and a couple of dear friends of his got to say goodbye. His passing was peaceful and cosmic like he was. I was up for 40 hrs straight, as I wanted to be with him throughout. But I didn't have a clue two days before that this would be the course his disease would take. He had attended the NH Christmas party the day before and been happy. I miss him: even at his most demented he was always good company (except maybe during the really crazy times back when he was losing abilities). He had lost everything except his smile, and still would drum if I placed a flat drum in his lap while we watched/listened to music. It has taken until now to be able to post here. I am just wiped out exhausted from the 10 years since he was diagnosed (which took 2 years before that). I found this board in '07, and don't know how I would have survived without it. For all that went before, thank you. My SO was 71 years old when he passed. I feel great joy that he is free from this terrible disease (and great sorrow that he is gone). Honestly, watching it take him all those years was worse than losing him at the end. He was cremated and I will have a celebration of his life when it is warmer.

Dear mariposa, I am so sorry. Tears came to eyes when I read that he was good company despite his disease, for that's what my husband was like, too. I'm glad it went quickly and that you were able to be with him.

I'm sorry mariposa.

God bless you, mariposa. I am sorry for your loss but relieved that you can begin to rest and heal.

SO = significant other. Not legally married. We were together and committed for 32 years. Both had previous marriages and didn't see the point since children weren't involved.

So sorry for your loss, mariposa. Many hugs. (((((( ))))))

Thank you so much, you have all been a lifeline for us over the years.