I couldn't sleep last night. Went to bed around 1 am. Normally I will wake up when he gets up, but not today. He came to find me at 10 am. He's been up since probably 7. He didnt seem like anything was wrong.

I.am still living in fear of poop, especially since he tracked it all over the new carpet. But I didnt see any evidence of it when I got up. I cleaned around his toilet first. I have added another night light in the bathroom since he seems to be peeing on the floor in front of, or next to the toilet. May look into lighted toilet seat soon. I got that bathroom floor fixed in the nick of time! Downstairs no sign of poop so did normal morning routine. Then looked in the bathroom. There was a mess, but all in the toilet. Not on the floor. We are still getting used to the depends. Got him changed. Amazingly no poop on the clothes. That's a first.

He had the tv on, which was good since he sometimes has been unable to turn it on lately. But it was on soccer. Saturdays are going to be tough now that football is done. He kept following me and then stood there and talked for almost an hour. He kept talking about they did something, about not understanding what was going on.

I tried remaining calm and listening to try to understand. I said normally I don't sleep so late and he could wake me up earlier. He said that wasn't it. Most of what he said didn't make sense. But he did put together some sentences. Like "I'm going to have to try to get it" At one point he said something like he didn't know what was going to happen or what he should do, but "You know me".... Tears popped into my eyes at that point because I havent known him for quite some time now. At one point he said something like "I'm still here". He doesn't understand what is going on or what is going to happen but he is going to have to try to do it himself. He kept patting his jeans and talking about the guy who puts poop in there and he doesn't know what to do about that guy. (He didn't actually say it like that, but it seemed like that was the general idea.)

I just pretty much listened for an hour. A couple times I said something like you know us, we figure out what's happening and what to do together, you and me. We'll do it together.

He seems calm now. We are watching the Dog Whisperer. He even took a.little nap. I figure I shouldn't leave him alone. I am going to try taking him outside for awhile. I think he was confused because I didn't get up and he didn't like what was in tv and didn't know how to change it and figured that "they" wanted it that way. At one piint he asked if this was our place.

Generally he is not aware of having a problem and is more likely to lash out at me if anything bugs him. So this was completely different behavior. It has me feeling a lot more empathy.

Thanks Charlotte. He helped me out on the hill for a little.while. he seems very much more confused today. But seems happy if I sit here with him. Worrisome.

Sorry about the shower. Must be more difficult in cramped quarters. For awhile now I have been washing his hair at the kitchen sink. I got a tray so he can lean back like at the beauty shop. He likes that surprisingly enough. He doesn't take a.shower very often. Only if I strongly suggest it. And now I have to stay there and give him a soapy wash cloth and tell him what to do with it and manage the temp of the water and turn it on and off. Soon I imagine I will need to get a.chair.and handheld, but not yet.

Fri we got his teeth cleaned. I have been doing a better job getting him to floss and brush when I help him shave. But I don't do that every day. He understood most of their directions and was a great patient. As.we.were.leaving, he told a lady in the waiting room not to worry it is fun in there. That was pretty cute.

Man, it is eerie out there right now. It was hot working on the hill. I had.to change.all my clothes after. But by 4pm the temp had.dropped significantly and it was hazy over the valley below us. Now the sky is an eerie grayish pink as the sun goes down. We might get some rain later this week.

Thank you Rodstar. I keep feeling like I am not doing very.well, but am not coming up with ideas to do better. So your comment means more than you can know tonight.

I hope you are.having an ok evening.

Rodstar, sorry to hear about your wife's behaviour. Perhaps you need to find someone who specializes with dementia patients - like from the Alzheimer society. She's not the first to be resistant. Can your wife stay alone or does she dislike it? My husband did not want a stranger in our house, but it got to a point where he didn't want to stay alone. So when I told him I had an appointment(my reason for leaving) & he'd say 'no', I'd asked him if he wanted to stay alone, he'd say 'no'. So someone there seemed a bit better than being alone. He never really liked it, but I knew I had to get respite whether he liked it or not - it was either me or him. I had someone from the Alzheimer society staying with him - always the same person, so he could get use to her. Didn't mean he necessarily liked her, but she became a familiar face - he was safe & well looked after, that's what important. Before each visit, I would wait until I saw her car in the driveway before telling him she was coming or often I'd wait until the doorbell rang - so he had less time to get upset - advice from the Alzheimer society. He was never too happy about the visits but would forget about it shortly after I returned - until the next visit & we'd do the same thing again...

Oh yes, you will need a good reason for being away - one she will have to accept. Mine was a doctor's appointment for my menopause. When he became impatient with that, I told him it wasn't my fault I had menopause & that I belonged to a support group to help me & if I didn't attend the doctor would kick me out of the group. He believed me - even asked me if I was feeling better - so nice to hear, because he cared that I felt better....