Today is overcast - again. Seems this winter was mild but one day is sunshine and then a couple cloudy depressing days. We settled here for the abundant sunshine but the last couple winters has not been. Wish I were in Arizona!
Go to get a molar pulled today. Wish I wasn't but I can't afford the other option. Still don't understand why he just can't do a filling. Thankfully the last month it has not hurt except when something cold gets on that side.
An Rv can get cold. I remember my cats wanting in the sleeping bag like thing in Hermiston, OR and Cheyenne, WY. And my tongue still misses one molar and I swear i get food stuck in the missing molar area.
Doing OK today. Tooth was stubborn. He said the bone didn't want to give it up after 60 years!! Hardest part is eating a soft diet but gives me a good start on dieting, at least I hope so. Oh, and no pop for 24 hours. It is now 24 hours so I guess I can except I can't use a straw yet. then getting use to that big gap back there.
I posted a picture yesterday on Facebook of Sage. She has learned how to honk the horn of the motorhome. She was running back to front landing on it to honk. Yesterday she found out she could lay on it. She is not a dumb cat.
Groundhog says 6 more weeks of winter. Fine with me -have had a mild winter.
It seems to me that we have AT LEAST 6 more weeks of winter no matter what the woodchuck sees. Depends on where you live, I guess.
I just spent Jan 6 to 24 in the Tampa Bay area of Florida. 3 degrees the morning I left home and 3 degrees in Rocky Mount, NC the next morning. Snow still on the ground all the way to the Georgia line. Several mornings in St Pete of mid 20's. Now that I'm home it has warmed up (in FL) of course. Never had my bathing suit out of the car.
Another loss - knew it was coming. I usually do the grocery shopping when he is at day care. Took him today to pick up a few things. After they were checked instead of bagging (go to Winco where you bag your own) he just put them back in the cart. I told him they needed to bagged and he gave me this confused look. Was talking to the neighbors and they said it is getting harder to understand what he is saying. I think it is mainly cause he is having more troubles finding his words.
Yes, it sounds like he's moving to a different phase of the disease. The one where they do everything backwards - load the dishwasher with clean dishes from the cabinets, take the dirty laundry from the hamper, fold it, and put it in drawers, get ready for bed by changing into a suit and tie. It's a wonder we spouses don't lose our minds, too.
Yes Charlotte, I remember those days. I got so I never went in the store with him. For a while I could buy him a fancy coffee and leave him in the café of the grocery store. But after a while I only shopped on Tuesday or Friday when I had self-paid caretakers here. I could never have had him in day care as he was totally incontinent by the time he couldn't be left alone. My caretakers were angels. They would change him and clean him up no matter what he did. Except the one time he fell in the bathroom when I was on my way to an Alz support group. She called me and I just said cover him up on the bathroom floor and I will be there as soon as possible. He got so he didn't make much sense when he talked. Sometimes I could figure what he was saying but no one else could.
Been interesting last few days. When I talk about our daughter, he doesn't really know who I am talking about. No real surprise since he has not seen or talked to her in 10+ years. We communicate at times but I told her not to call him because it was upsetting him too much. My SIL's father died - he couldn't remember who she was then finally said 'Marq's wife?" But, I don't think he really knew who we were talking about. When he looks at the picture I have of my siblings he has a hard time remembering them. My youngest sister and brother we see a couple times a year, but not the other. Of course he doesn't remember my oldest dying a year ago. She was the one that introduced us, that is responsible for us being together. They always got along well and after her stroke resulting in VaD they were funny together when they would start chatting. Grandkids - out of sight out of mind does apply. Most I can figure he is mostly back in the 70s.
Yesterday he was doing that reflex cough. About 45 minutes after eating dinner he threw it all up. Instead of running to the toilet he grabbed the pot on the stove and threw up in it. Got him the few feet to the toilet where he threw up all over the toilet seat. Then he came out, grabbed the jar of peanut butter, was trying to get the lid off it to puke in it. Thankfully that ended. He seemed fine this morning, ate breakfast and was fine, then just before the bus came he started the coughing. I sent him anyway.
Still having pain from the tooth being pulled. Weird that I am OK during the day but as soon as I lay down in bed and relax, the teeth on the left side - upper and lower - start hurting. Last night was better. I will give it tonight and if not better still will call the dentist tomorrow.
Charlotte, It certainly sounds like your husband is losing ground rather rapidly. I think our spouses' reactions to this kind of loss depends on their personalities. My husband was very sweet and friendly when he was at this stage, and he really didn't seem to care about the exact identity of the person he was talking to, as long as they were being nice to him. He did not seem to distinguish between a family member and a nurse's aide. The one exception was when his daughter and granddaughter from AZ visited him 5 months before he died. He seemed to know that they were family and was so happy that day. I don't know if it was because he recognized them as someone close or because they treated him as being special, but it was a magical visit.
How is Art doing with the activities of daily life? I remember you saying you thought that Medicaid would authorize LTC at the point when you became unable to help him with ADLs due to the confined space of the motor home.
Best of luck with the tooth. Maybe the dentist can give you something for the pain until the wound heals.
To cheer up you Northerners (sp?) A new wave of hummingbirds started arriving here in So Cal yesterday. Including a male and female rufus hummingbird (brown all over with red throat). I think there was a purple throated one today too.
Thanks, Myrtle, for the tip. I searched our library system for the title, but no luck. Amazon Books has several copies. Those in good condition are a bit pricey, and I am in the process of getting rid of a lot of books, just a general housecleaning that hit me after feeling better. I’ll keep any eye open for it, though: I like her writing. I’m still being slowed down by mouse and keyboard problems. The roller mouse, Pro 3, made in New Jersey, is sold in Canada, but the keyboard that fits is not, and they say it can’t be shipped to Canada. I’ve been in touch with Contour, who makes the Pro 3 rollermouse bar, so often they must be sick of me. Right now I have my two paperback books duct-taped to my desk, then I taped the keyboard on top of the books with double-sided scotch tape. The system is more stable now, but the curser is still jumping around like mad. It is frustrating, time-consuming and not good.
Just looked up the rollermouse to see what you are talking about. That is one expensive mouse. Have you thought about the mouse might be bad and needs to be sent back for a new one?
Why can't the keyboard be sent to Canada? That is weird they will sell the mouse but not the keyboard that goes with it. Wonder if the keyboard could be sent to a US address then have that person send it to you? Just wondering if there is a reason it would not go through customs.
Good thinking, as usual, Charlotte. The serial number on that mouse shows it is from a batch with a history of erratic curser problems, and the company did replace it (took awhile). New mouse better, but not much. I have a brother who lives in the States, and I might ask his help. I question the non shipment to Canada, too. The company did mail the new mouse to me. Expensive yes.
Hi mary75, I'll send you my copy of "Two Gardeners." My town's library has a copy and there are 9 other copies in our regional system, so if I get itchy to reread it, I'll just check out one of those copies. I don't think I will, though, because I'm already backed up on my reading. I checked a novel out of the library about a man who makes his living clipping hedges and I still have not even cracked open a popular political book I got at Costco. And before I get to any of that, I want to go through "The Market Bulletins" to see if any of the contributors were from the counties in Mississippi that were written about in the "Recollections" that Gourdchipper posted about.
I don't know anything about computer mice but what I don't understand is why you just can't get a regular mouse and keyboard.
With such an endorsement, I’ve decided to order it from Amazon and then pass it on. But thanks for your very kind offer. Sending this while I can. I have ankylosing spondylitis, especially in shoulders, and this mouse recommended by physio.
Yikes! Just after posting this, I got an email from the public library that another book I ordered came in. It's about the Clotilda, the slave ship that was snuck into Mobile Bay in 1859 in violation of federal law. I don't even know why I ordered it. I'm already up to my ears in books.
Mary, I did not realize that there was computer equipment that could accommodate your condition. Is this keyboard prohibition some weird NAFTA issue? What about if I got a box and stuffed it with a bunch of my husband's old history books and stuck the keyboard in the middle?
Yes. When it works, it’s a dream. Expensive and kicks out the day after its 2-year warrantee. Can’t replace old model, new model has many problems. I wondered about NAFTA, too. Got a good laugh at your proposed history book tactic. Don’t advise it. Lots and lots of problems at the border as it is. My brother, daughter and granddaughter, and dog pulled aside in Blaine (I think) by Canadian Immigration and held for 4 hours in hot July sun. Don’t know why. German Shepherd rescue dog from Germany 4 years ago has passed over border okay last 3 years.
On what turned out to be the last day my husband ever drove a car, he vanished for 12 hours. After a few hours I called the police and they put out some kind of "wanted" call for him. He arrived home safe and sound after about 12 hours and I reported that fact to the police. (I never found out where he went and, of course, he didn't remember.)
About 8 months later, we took a trip to Montreal and on the way back we were detained at the Vermont border. We were not searched but were required to leave the car and cool our heels in the customs and border protection office while they called various authorities. It turns out that our local police had never reported my husband as having been found, so he was still listed as missing.
This is the email I just sent to Contour: "I ordered one from ergocanada as you suggested, but it is my undersatnding they have many customer complaints that the keys are coming off this Contour product (Balance keyboard). They say that Contour is good about replacing the Balance keyboard, but I don’t want to have to have yet one more of your products replaced. It’s a nuisance and costs me time. You had a very good product with your Pro 2, especially for people with joint and muscle problems. I’m sorry you no longer manufacture it.
P.S to you all: I have a keyboard that I bought from ergocanada less than a month ago. It is stable, that is , the curser doesn't jump all over the place, but the key for capitals is placed right next to the "A' button. It is surprising how many words have "a" in them and how inevitable it is to touch the capital key when pressing the "a" key. However, ergocanada suggested I take a paper clip and pop out the capital key, and I did. So far, so good. I can always capitalize with the shift key. This email has taken the usual time. What a relief. I was spending too much time with the other setup, the curser was so erratic.
My 'a' came off. Wish it had been the caps lock instead. I had another key pop off a while ago and was able to pop it back on. Have not been able to on the 'a'. (have a laptop)
This poem is all the more special because it was written by one of our readers, Michele, a caregiver to her husband living with FTD (frontotemporal degeneration). She wrote the poem prior to Christmas, and I had asked if she would mind if we shared it with our Remember for Alzheimer's Facebook community. She said she would be honored if we shared it with other caregivers! Since it received such a wonderful response on Facebook, I wanted to share it with you as well.
Im biting back the tears tonight I cannot breathe my chest feels tight The wind is howling as winter roars It's dark and cold I can't take much more
I pray that God will take this pain away Instead I brace myself for another day Another day of constant fear Another day to shed more tears
My head is foggy my throat unclear How can I do this for even one more year? Every day he falls deeper into the abyss I can only hold his hand and give him a kiss
He's angry he's confused he's nasty and mean Then he's laughing and silly acting like a teen We walk on eggshells never knowing which one will appear My sweet Russ or the grizzly bear
So we guide him and prompt him against his will To keep him safe, fed and clean, to take his pills He isn't just forgetful and mild and meek Like the tv commercials would like you to think
They don't talk about the dirty disgusting hygiene care The teeth, the toenails, the dirty derrière The dressing and undressing and changing of clothes The realities only a caregiver knows
I love him dearly I always will Til death do us part I stand by you still I yearn to be held safe and warm while I cry If I let my guard down I surely will die
So I steel myself from morning to night I pray and I pray that I'm getting this right There is no playbook for this awful disease There's no way to win there's no way to please
His doctor said he is severely impaired His lifespan is short maybe one more year Or two or three it doesn't matter, anymore I have no choice, I have to endure
I see others doing normal everyday things Getting ready for Christmas, oh what joy it brings But for me it's nothing more than a reality check Of all that's been lost and how little is left
So I pray and I pray and I pray some more Knowing only God knows when he will walk through that door To a place called heaven where he will be free Holding a place and waiting for me.
This link is for mary75*, who appreciates discussions about grammatical issues. Mary, in case the link doesn't work, the article is, "Oxford Comma Dispute is Settled As Maine Drivers Get $5 Million," by Daniel Victor, New York Times, (February 9, 2018). BTW, the Times now only allows non-subscribers to access 5 free stories per month.
Charlotte, I haven't heard back from Contour, and I don't expect to. Sounds to me as if they are busy replacing equipment. I understand that it may be the factory in China who supplies them that is at fault. Who knows?
While many of us are struggling in our challenges, I also know many have an interest in the International Space Station and space related things.
History was made last week when the Falcon Heavy launched. It put the USA squarely in the forefront of space once again and this time without the government involved or paying for it. It's another example of the American drive to be free of government interference, and sets up a new age. That's true because the Falcon Heavy can launch twice the payload of any other rocket at about half the cost of any of those other rockets.
Elon Musk, who's red convertible is now flying through outer space towards it's stable orbit around the sun, said he would be happy to clear the launch pad before the rocket blows up because this launch is trying so many new things all at the same time. Like him, watching those two rockets return to earth and land side by each back on the launch pad still sends chills through me.
For those not as interested in the explanations can skip ahead to the 18:00 minute mark along the bottom slider and watch the actual launch. Twenty million have watched this so far. Cape Canaveral was overflowing with people at the launch.
One group that's excited is space telescope agencies. When the Falcon Heavy finishes it's proving flights, they can now design a telescope twice as heavy and much more powerful.
Elon Musk joked that putting that convertible into orbit around the sun would be funny if found by aliens a billion years from now who would wonder why we put a car out there. The next rocket is the BFR. That one will be twice as powerful as the Saturn 5. If it works, it will be able to carry undreamed of payloads out into space and without the outrageous price tag the government used. The name stands for Big F... Rocket, which the Economist dutifully reported in full since it never uses initials without explaining what they stand for. I doubt mainstream media will touch what it stands for, but when you hear about the BFR rocket in the months to come, which you almost certainly will, you'll be in on the billion dollar joke.
What a thrill that was--unbelievably cool. I would like to see one of two things in my lifetime (I'm 68, so fingers crossed)--I want us to land a man on Mars, and I would like to see our first contact with an alien life form--even if it's only single-celled organisms or something.
Hi Wolf. I've been missing you. I agree this was very cool. A guy who worked for me on the B-2 program went to work for Space X. Having worked in aerospace for many years I knew what BFR stood for immediately. Seems to me there is a bomb with a similar name.
I was.doing a.crossword puzzle the other day and one answer was SNAFU. I guess there are actually several ways to translate that, but I can't get past the flightline version LOL.
I think most people are familiar with the term SNAFU, but many do not realize it's an acronym. Until I got to know my husband, whose linguistic skills were honed by 20 years in the USAF, I didn't realize how deficient my vocabulary actually was. My personal favorite "technical term" is FUBAR.
Thanks for the link, Charlotte. This would not change anything for current caregivers, but it would certainly be a start for the future. I'm going to watch what happens to it.
Yesterday I had a meeting with the nurse, occupational therapist & PSW at my husband's facility & he has improved by 90%. He's adjusting to his new place & they are getting use to him. I was so glad to hear that. This should help me with my detachment.
For those of you still taking care of spouses at home, you must all be very strong to be able to detach while being a full time caregiver - I congratulate all of you. I could never detach while I took care of him at home.
When you grow up abused you learn to detach from emotions and even what is going on to survive. Verbal abuse is not as easy but physical and sexual one becomes good at. So it was a 'skill' I learned early on.
It is what it is. I am not the only one - there are thousands out there that grew up abused and those still growing up being abused. My heart goes out to all them. It was so sad that family in California with 13 or so kids that the parents abused and held captive and neighbors did nothing. Those kids will have way more to overcome than I did.
Yes, Charlotte I agree, that family in California with the 13 abused kids is horrible, but It doesn't diminish what you lived through as a child. And good for you for overcoming that.
with,everything you went through it is a wonder you just didn't walk/run away. I is a testimony about what God can do with what appears to be messed up lives. Praise God.
Computer and roller bar mouse problems seem to be solved, courtesy of a computer technolgist who made a housecall. What bliss not to have to redo each sentence, or find that the curser has jumped to another document, or have a sentence highlighted and then disappear. The keyboard feels a bit stiff, and I'll have to practice, but I think I'm finally on the right track. Twenty-two years ago I rented a basement apartment to 3 Austalian girls who were spending a year in Canada. The girls have been friends since kindergarten. One of them has kept in touch, and yesterday she came to visit. (She is on her way to Toronto.) We had a great afternoon. The girls were the best tenants I ever had. Cheerful and clean. Never complained. Paid their rent on time. The snow came back with cold temperatures. Will try to get out tomorrow to grocery shop and run errands before the next flurries.
Just when I thought we were past him breaking his glasses cause he has not broken the left bow, was ready to call the VA to see if we could get the broken one replace - he did. He came out from the bathroom area last night, straightened his glasses and asked 'how do I look in my new glasses?' Not sure why he was so proud. He took them off and I saw the bow was broke and went ballistic! I know I should not have. So eventually he will not have glasses to wear. I guess it hit me a few weeks ago the reality of how he is going downhill, loosing life where it won't matter to others if what he sees is blurry or not.
Was talking to the friend in Yuma, the one whose doctor broke her leg above the knee when he was forcing the knee to bend more. She said to tell 'trouble' hi but I said I won't because he doesn't remember her and I feel it is just futile trying to explain every time who she is.
Finally got some cold after a mile winter. Went down near 20. I was hoping to stretch the propane through the summer but am having to use the furnace now. I will be forced to have them deliver more as it is down to 20% if it hits 10% but only a half fill.
Today's my birthday, and here's a happy birthday song from my brother, Pat. I'm sending it on to everyone who has a February birthday, including Myrtle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inS9gAgSENE