My husband will be passing tonite or tomorrow at the latest. I am home for a shower and brief nap and to tuck the dogs in for the nite. Thank you all for always always being here.
Patty, I am so sorry.... please know you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Is anyone able to be with you? Please check in when you are able to. ((big hugs))
Continue to pray for you, Patty. You are definitely in my thoughts today.
Nikki, in answer to your question, I'm holding on! DH is now on oxygen and is not swallowing as he should. Thank you all for your support, prayers and hugs. I appreciate all/
Oh Jackie.....I can only imagine what you must be going through. I continue to keep both you and your dear husband in my thoughts and prayers. ((Big big hugs))
Of all the hard times, this is the worst. I hope they keep him comfortable and at ease, Jackie. My husband was on oxygen too - not an elaborate thing, just some to ease his gasping. The morphine slows that down, and slows down the racing heart.
Jackie, you remain in my thoughts. Has Hospice come on board yet? I hope someone is there to help you through this...... Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers ((hugs))
I am glad this thread is here. For now my DH is still able to do things for himself but seems to be declining a little every day. I have noticed that the past couple of days it is taking him a lot longer to eat and he is not talking very much. Most of his day is spent sleeping and often waking up disorentated to where he is or who I am. I also noticed that he is becoming less steady on his feet and I worry that he might fall and break a hip. (He is 85) Reading this thread is helping me to know what things lay ahead.
I agree Marilyn. It is sad, it even frightens me... but it is also a comfort to know ... and to hear from those who have been through this. I am sorry to hear of your husbands recent declines... it is all so very difficult
My dh is 85 also and I am always trying to guess if his deficiencies are due to age or AD. He doesn't eat that slowly but his eating habits are terrible. He isn't at the stage where he will eat anything I put in front of him therefore if he wants just a slice of bread with cookies for lunch, that is what he eats. Right now he is being treated for anemia so he takes iron supplements. Still won't eat red meat or any other meat for that matter. Very difficult. My dh takes many naps during the day, manages to go to bed at 10 pm but rises about 5 am. The more tired he is the more disoriented he is. Looks at me sometimes as if I am a visitor. He has AD and has a tough time conversing and I don't think he remembers a thing after our wedding day; 56 yrs. down the toilet.
Hang in there and remember that they can't get along without us. We are in it for the long haul.
Marilyn87, my DH is 88, has ALZ. He is also unsteady on his feet and has, in fact, fallen 3-4 times. He does not nap during the day, but goes to bed by 6-6:30 - gets up at 6:30 a.m. Is pretty good in the mornings, which is when I can leave him alone for 1-2 hours - he won't get out of his recliner if I'm away. Makes for a long evening for me - but I get a lot done - and still get my good night's sleep. Appetite good, will eat anything I put before him and says it's the best he's ever had! Despite all this - I can see his decline almost daily also. Shirley, yes, we are in it for the long haul. God bless us all!
Vickie, I was doing quick trips to the grocery store as my husband would stay in his recliner also. But today my son said that he didn't think it was a good idea to leave DH. He said if he wakes from a nap and is disorientated he might just leave the house. Since my son lives close we are going to try and work it out where he can come and stay with hubby so I can do some shopping. I had been just running to the store as I needed something but guess now I will go back to doing a weekly trip. A problem I have with leaving our son with him is that as soon as I am gone he doesn't know who our son is and just thinks this strange man is going through our things. I guess right now what I am missing the most is being able to have conversations with him. He listens to what I am saying but most of the time doesn't understand what I am talking about.
Your son is right...dh shouldn't be left alone in case he wanders away. Try shopping once, leaving your son with dh, and see what happens--it may go better than you think. These paranoia stages are usually temporary.
I know what you mean about not having meaningful conversations with dh. We can't reminisce as he has no memories, he doesn't understand any of the news on TV. Some days are better than others. It seems they decline for weeks, then rebound somewhat for another spell. A most difficult disease to deal with.
This past week...I think because we have lost so many loved ones in such a short period of time, I have been thinking about my husband. We have been on this dreadful journey for 10 years now. The first 6 years were frustrating for him, but, not terrible, however, the last 4 years he has declined so much. I was sitting with him the other night thinking as he was sleeping so peacefully, how I was not ready to give him up. Then something came over me...how selfish of me, he has no real quality of life, since his Grandmother & Mother both passed away from dementia, he knew from the beginning how this disease would effect his life, mentioned many how he didn't want to be a burden & would hate what his life has become. As I was sitting there, I realized, I will never say again to him please don't leave yet. I will be devastated for me, but, happy for him to be at peace. I just needed to tell someone besides myself that.
Kadee, God bless you for being so honest. You are right about the quality of life. It must have been frightening for him (& you) knowing that he could inherit this awful disease & then realizing that he had. We are here for you.
Can you feel us holding your hand? We are with you all the way. Love has no bounds. This journey we are all on is difficult for all of us, caregivers and spouses.
Kadee, I understand completely. I have prayed that God would take him before he is bedridden and has no quality of life. I would want the same thing for me.
Bama I feel the same way you do. Even though we will be married 50 yrs in October I too hope that my DH goes before he becomes bedridden with no quality of life.
I have been praying for a peaceful end for my DH. I know it will never get better, so I don't think it is a bad thing to pray for. I just want the best for my sweet man. I understand how everyone feels.
Jackie, you are most welcome <3. I try to put myself in your place and find I just can't. My heart aches for you. You didn't say, is Hospice with you now? I truly hope so...... write me any time, we are here for you (((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))
Thanks again, Nikki. Yes, hospice is here in the health facility and I'm very pleased with them. The chaplain spent about an hour with me earlier and I'm impressed with her also. DH looks to be comfortable, is not being fed..just swabbing his mouth and lips. He is getting morphine and something to help the congestion in his throat. His lungs sound really full. I put my finger on his lips and he kissed it. I'm so appreciative of that hug, Nikki. I've needed a little "propping" up today even though I can truthfully say that I'm more at peace than a few days ago. Probably because he looks peaceful....I'm watching him sleep and will probably crawl into bed beside him shortly.
Jackie, good to hear from you! I am glad Hospice is involved, and I hope they bring a measure of peace to you. How precious that he kisses your finger, that got me choked up..... We all need to be reminded we are not alone, even though often times it certainly feels we are. I am so relieved to hear your dear husband seems comfortable and at peace, that must bring you a great deal of comfort. I continue to hold you deep in my thoughts and prayers. Much love and many many ((((hugs)))) ♥
((Jackie)) just letting you know we are here to support you. You and your husband have been in my thoughts often...... Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers ((Hugs))
Jackie its good to hear you are getting this time together and hes able to respond to you. its never easy and this is the last we can do for our loved ones, being there for comfort and support divvi
Nikki, I think this is NOT the wrong thread, it is so informative and beautiful.
My sister that just passed short of 90 days ago, had so many of the same symptoms and treatment. She was in a sedated state and when she left it was so peaceful. Amazing too, like one of the other posters mentioned, she looked so good, her skin was glowing and she was beautiful. I was so lucky to be there and hold her little hands, along with her husband. I told her how proud I was of her for leaving the way she did.
She did not have dementia she had cancer. But it just seemed fitting to put it here. I feel blessed.
whew! I was so worried I would make you even more depressed with this thread...... I am glad it didn't, and gave you an outlet to talk about your sister. You know Coco, you CAN talk about your sister and your grief with us here too. It doesn't have to ALL be about Alzheimer's. We are unique people that suffer other tragedies in our lives... we are here to support you, that means all of you.... we come to care about one another and share our lives here in this safe haven. Again, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved sister... ((big big hugs))
Ps.. It was the “CAREGIVER TIPS-Things I wish someone had told me back in Stage 2-3” post that I meant to bring to the top.
Thoughts and prayers for you, Patty. Kadee, bless you for being so honest. You are right about the quality of life....sometimes they need to know it's ok to let go..my Mum ( 8 years passed) waited for me to say that and then she went peacefully