It just dawned on me that Hank has two good body parts - one is his heart and the other is his lungs. That is what he is using now to live. This could take a while. His son arrived last night, so it is good to have family here now. Thank you all for having us in your hearts.
Ah, frand. When my first husband was dying, the doctor couldn't understand why he was hanging on so long. He also had a very healthy heart and lungs, had taken great pride in keeping fit. But at least Hank's have kept him going so his son could be there, to be a comfort for you and Hank, and for his son, too.
Sunshyne - There is always something funny - even in death. We had one very bad point this afternoon when I called the Hospice nurse. Among other things she said, "You aren't giving him anything to eat or drink, are you?" It was sort of as if that would explain why he continues to live! Apparently some folks can't stand it any longer and just get out the lunch meat or something. Obviously that isn't the case here, but those good organs just don't want to give up.
Maybe my DH thinks the cremation costs are by the pound and that he is saving me money! I can not understand how the body can continue as his has. I did things last night I didn't know were possible. If you use Hospice be sure to find out if they come out when the nursing needs are more than you can bear. I can't see how this can continue much longer, but I also would never have thought he could live this long in his condition.
Oh Fran...I know just what you are feeling...it is so unbelievable that the human spirit can sustain a body for so long. I continue to keep watch with you......
Fran, your touch of humor at a time like this sure shows a strong woman. When my mother was in her last stages, she wanted to take one of her children to Germany to meet both her mother's family and her father's family, I was the one who went with her. She told her Oncologist that she was going to go. He told her that if she got there that she might not make it home and that Germany may not let us bring her body back. She told him that that was her concern and his job was to get her ready for the trip. At that point in her illness, her main tumor was beginning to block her colon. The doctor ordered radiation to shrink the tumor. When we were ordering the airplane tickets, she told me that she would put my ticket on her charge card so that when she dies, the ticket would be paid by her estate. My DH was very adamant that we would pay for my ticket, which we did. Off we flew to Germany. We spent three weeks and made it home barely. She put on the show of her life to get on the plane at Dallas. We were told by a kind "angel" attendant that our particular pilot would not fly her if he found out how ill she was. He had been know to do it before and had the right not to allow her on the plane. In Salt Lake City, I did some fast talking and they helped her on the plane to get home. She passed three weeks later. How is that for human spirit and a will to live?
Thanks you so much for sharing this with the group. I always like to be involved but know that it's not "nice" to ask questions.
Frand, what a strong and brave woman you are to have shared these last days with all of us. Now you and Hank both will be at peace. Bless you both and your entire family.
Frand--my eyes are so full of tears I can hardly see to write. My prayers are with you and yours. Thank you so very much for sharing this incredible journey. Someone earlier said it better than I can: Knowledge is the best defense against fear. You have taught us so much at your own expense. Peace and comfor to you. I pray you can rest soon.
Frand, I wish you peace as you go for a walk on your beach. Look out to the horizon and remember the good times you had with Hank. I wish you peace, and recovery.
It is peculiar, in a nice way, how close we can become to people we share our lives with -yet, have never met. I have stopped questioning how it can happen...When I read your post Fran, my eyes filled with tears. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am however, relieved for Hank, that his journey is over and he is now free from the hell of Alzheimer's. I wish for you peace and comfort in your new journey. Loving thoughts~Nikki
May your family find peace in their hearts. Your husband is pain free now. May you can find your peace in your walk on the beach. All my prayers are being sent to you and yours Nancy
Frand, we all feel like we're best friends . I have lost a husband several years ago . Mine was from a sudden heart attack. I really think this is much worse, watching them fail, day by day. I'm so glad it's over for both of you. J. and I have had a great 24 years now. My sad journey is just beginning. Enjoy your happy memories.
You have faced the worst with generosity and courage. Your Hank is at peace, and now I hope you will find some peace and contentment with only the good memories.
Fran, Enjoy your walk and rebirth on the beach. I am reminded of a quote by Aeschylus "There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief." Thank you for sharing your story. May peace be with you! Miss B
Fran I know that you grieving for Hank, but he at last has been released from this terrible disease. I pray for you and hope that you get that walk on the beach real soon.
I just wanted to add that I'm thinking about you today, Fran. Hoping that you are able to rest and feel at peace now. It may take some time to regroup but you may already know these things. I appreciate that you have shared so much with us. The beach is my favorite place to rest and recover. Walking or sitting..its a very good refresher!
frand, I'm hoping that you got some rest last night. I guess we all want you to go and take that walk on the beach this morning, and that it is a beautiful sunny day where you are.
Oh frand. I knew what I would find the second I saw how many new posts there were from the last time I logged on. I can't believe how quickly the end came ... I kept thinking you would find out he just needed the gall bladder surgery.
I spent many hours walking the beach after my first husband died. It is the only place to be at a time like this. I hope you find the same peace there that I did.
Fran, may you find that beach soon, and know that we are walking beside you. I am grieving for Hank and for your loss, and grateful that you are such a strong person who was so generous to share his dying process with us. Thank you so much, and may you walk on the beach in peace, holding Hank's memory in your heart.
Frand - you face this difficult journey with strength and character. You handled it with little help and strong determination to do what was right for Hank. You will never forget the last few months of your life but never, never have an doubt that you did the best you could every step of the way. You have my deepest sympathy.