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    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeDec 31st 2017 edited
     
    2018, what is your new discovery or suggestion or invention
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2018
     
    Don't have anything right now. I don't usually do resolutions because I always break them. I guess for 2018 is just to make it another year as a AD caregiver.
    • CommentAuthorCarolVT
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2018
     
    I like science fiction and I just discovered Chinese author Liu Cixin. "The Wandering Earth: Classic Science Fiction Collection" is wildly imaginative. For good old soap opera sci fi, check out author Elizabeth Moon.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2018
     
    Reinventing myself. I did a lot of day dreaming about this while a caregiver. And it helped. Now reinvention for me needs to become a reality rather than wishful thinking. I do suggest wishful day dreaming as a true coping mechanism in the midst of caregiving, serving much the same escape needs that the Christmas Lodge and the Cottage on the Lake does. Lifting us out of truly unbearable reality.

    I knew in my gut that I would need several months just to grieve, recover, and get used to the fact that the only one I need to take care of is myself. I’m blessed to have had continued support from both family and friends during this time. But there still are days that I curl up inside myself and keen for past losses. I feel lonely and my house is way too big. There is no one to smile at and hug sitting in another room. No matter what room I happen to be in there is no one in any other part of this house. But sometimes I still feel like getting up and looking for my love.

    My son and daughter-in-law are taking me to Iceland in two week where, if I am lucky, I will see the Aurora Borealis. I had told them, as I have told you all, that seeing it was on my bucket list. I told them it is too pricey, go by yourselves, but they came back with frequent flier miles, how much more is the cost for a third person, and they love me…….. So I said yes I’d be thrilled. And I am.

    But after that?

    Can I travel some with my itty bitty camper? Or with a tent? Could I drive cross country and see Olympic National Park? Or Glacier National Park? Or Arches? or Canyonland? Would I enjoy doing this by myself? Can I even afford it? Maybe I’d have to be less ambitious? I do have friends who travel different places in the world that would love to have me come as a travel partner but I know I don’t have the wherewithal to do that. And I know camping out and cooking baked beans over a wood fire is not their thing.

    I’m old. But how old am I? Caregiving speeded up my aging I know.

    Should I get a low stress part time job to sock away some money to travel? Would I be too old by the time I did that to travel?

    Maybe I’d have fun volunteering at Sturbridge Village, wearing the clothes of a by gone era and teaching young and old how people lived before electricity, phones, and automobiles. I’d get to meet people that way and the only cost to me would be gasoline to drive there and back.

    I am paying things forward by joining the pastoral support committee at church that saw my partner and me through our “needy” time. There are others now who need meals, visits, transport, shopping……. And I do find I enjoy it.

    I know the world can get smaller as we get older. I want to push back on that happening as long as I can.
  1.  
    Just take your time, Lindyloo. Don't over-think it. The mists gradually do rise off the path and the future becomes more clear. Maybe try a shorter road trip in the spring to see what you think. Do some armchair traveling, reading travelers blogs online and honing your packing skills by reading the one-bag websites. Research the best credit cards for travel, and keep an eye out for credit cards with a big signup bonus of travel points. (I don't know if you were around in the autumn of 2015--I signed up for an old US Airways card with enough bonus signup points to take me to Ireland for $50. It included a free one-day pass to a VIP lounge at JFK. And I stayed at a hostel in Dublin for around $30 per night.) I did a road trip to Quebec that summer with a good friend, and--I say this very gently--it was easier and more fun traveling by myself. Don't get me wrong--I wouldn't have missed the Quebec trip for the world--but when you're by yourself you can do, eat, and see exactly what you want. No compromises. Be sensible about personal safety and security, of course.

    An animal companion is a great help, I've found. Bandit makes "home" so much homier. But a dog does severely limit your ability to travel, so if you're thinking of getting a pet (or more pets--can't remember if you have any)--you might want to do some traveling first.

    But I do think you just need to go "Zen" for a while, and just trust the process. Don't push too hard or try to fill up your days too much. Leave some breathing space to let karma happen. I'm not sure any job is low-stress. You still have to get your car out in bad weather, be responsible and have good employability factors even if you feel rotten, deal with all sorts of annoying people--whether you're the president of IBM or stacking shelves at a party-goods store. Just be careful what kind of job you take on--you probably aren't in shape to deal with one that sucks you dry.

    Iceland--I would love to go there. Keep us updated.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2018
     
    I agree with Elizabeth about traveling solo. When I was younger I didn't like traveling, especially by myself. When I joined the Air Force I drove across country and camped with my pup tent. It was so much fun! I met all kinds of interesting people I never would have met if I had a companion.
    In the Air Force I traveled between Louisiana and Wright Patterson in Ohio several times. I stopped reserving a.car because I inevitably ran into someone I knew at the airport and hitched a ride to the base. The Air Force is a lovely small world.
    Then when married we traveled as a couple. Since he was a pilot, he knew all the airports, all the rules, I just followed along and tried to keep up. He walked fast back then. When we retired he had travelled so much he just wanted to stay home. We had so much work to do on the property and I am such an introvert that worked well for me too for a long time.
    Then my sister's in-laws got me involved in her life. What a mess. I had to travel by myself. Since the situation in FL was so awful I rewarded myself by flying up to New York to see my brothers. After my father died I vowed I would not go back there. But I turned a corner at the airport and there were both brothers waiting for me. They ran up the ramp to meet me and enveloped me in a group hug. It was astonishing! That became an annual trip for years. Every trip I got more and more used to traveling by myself and now I can't quite imagine any different.
    Now it has been a couple of years with no travel. This has to change. Don't know how to make it happen. Doing a lot of daydreaming - more like brainstorming, trying to imagine how to make it work. Even if I never actually do it, the daydreaming provides significant benefit.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2018
     
    Lindylou -there are lots of rv groups out there for singles including only women. Sisters on the Fly is one fun one. When I worked at the RV park in Prosser for two summers they would have one their many rally there. They were a fun group - sit around the campfire cracking jokes, singing country and folk music, etc. Many were married but their husband's were not welcome. There are also many others. Some will travel together, others have places they meet up. Also, workamping is an option - a way to travel without having to pay for your space. Some places want a commitment for only a month (forest service, BLM, state and federal parks), others want for the season. I am trying to remember if Sturbridge Village uses workampers - not sure. Another place we were wanted to work at is Dollyworld in Pigeon Forge. They arrange for reduced rates at local rv parks, you get paid for all hours worked and it use to be $10 a month for medical at their clinic. Many places want couples but with a hard sell they will hire singles.

    I am having 'cabin fever' more because he has not gone to day care since Wednesday. Friday the roads were so icy they cancelled it. Today is a holiday so he won't go again until Wednesday. I have to learn not to just speak out loud because he thinks I am asking him a question which I am not. thankfully we have not been that cold this winter - mostly lows in the mid 20s. Sorry east coast, but glad you are getting it not us.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2018
     
    No need to travel to Iceland. It's not even midnight and it's already minus 2 degrees Fahrenheit here.
    • CommentAuthorJan K
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2018
     
    In December I kept seeing the suggestion to pick a word as a theme for the New Year--like courage, or love, or accomplishment.

    Well, I couldn't figure out one word that fit. Finally came up with a phrase, instead: "If not now, when?". If I don't use the good dishes now, exactly when am I planning to use them? If I don't get a book I've been wanting to read, what am I waiting for?

    It's not just DH who is growing older and declining in health. I've recently had some pretty sad health news myself, and I finally decided that if I want more out of the rest of my life, I'm going to have to be doing something about it on a regular basis.

    Before last year started, I read the book Small Move, Big Change by Caroline L. Arnold, and because of it I actually managed to keep a resolution for a whole year. I recommend this book highly. I've also been rereading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and it's got me changing directions, too. I can't do much to change the caregiving situation, but even small changes on other things do help.

    p.s. When I got up this morning the wind chill was 24 below zero, and it's supposed to get colder than that tonight.
    • CommentAuthorlongyears
    • CommentTimeJan 2nd 2018 edited
     
    x
    • CommentAuthorlongyears
    • CommentTimeJan 2nd 2018 edited
     
    x
  2.  
    Longyears, very interesting, I am now free to travel and I never considered some of the things you suggested. I was in Nova Scotia last August but never knew about the Tom Selleck connection.

    My DH and I once considered Elderhostel "Road Scholar" but never got to do it. I think it would be something to consider now for myself. I really love cruise ships as I can do lots of different places with minimum planning. Once I am on a cruise I can see lots of different places. This next summer I will be on a Holland America's "Voyage of the Vikings" cruise From Boston to Rotterdam and back. We will stop in Maine, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, Labrador, Greenland, Iceland, and Norway. On the way back we see Ireland, Scotland and all the islands we say on the first leg but different ports, The ship usually has "enrichment" lectures on these longer trips so we do really learn about the areas we see.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 2nd 2018
     
    ttt
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 2nd 2018
     
    ttt
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJan 2nd 2018
     
    I tried to contact Joan again, by sending a message via the website.

    Charlotte, Since you are in contact with her on Facebook, could you send her a message via FB to check the site?
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 2nd 2018
     
    I am not in contact but I will try.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 3rd 2018
     
    ttt
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2018
     
    Guess will use this for the January thread too.

    HB is driving me crazy - again. We got past the repeating all the time, only some of the time now. What he is doing now is making snide remarks or commenting on what is said on TV. I should be thankful he does not do it in public - at least not yet. He has started more and more to make comments to strangers he sees in the stores that are looking at something. I just keep walking and he catches up!

    I signed up at NHL online - they offer a free hockey game to watch majority of nights. We have a roku TV and I bought a new router. Before when trying to watch online the tV would drop the signal so I bought a new double router. The neighbor next door says the signal is much better now. So far the hockey game has been playing fine. I will try a couple games and if it does I will subscribe to the rest of the season for the Bruins. Would rather watch them, so would he.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2018
     
    My hb used to throw a.temper tantrum if I was watching a show I liked. He'd keep making snide remarks yelling about how stupid the show was. I didn't always have recorded shows he was willing to watch. Now he understands a lot less and seems to sit there peacefully regardless of what I put on. The annoying thing this year is he is staying up until I go to bed. Last year he went to bed at sundown. That was wonderful. I don't ask him any more what he'd prefer to watch. He answers me but whatever he is talking about is unintelligible.

    The really good news is he has pooped in the toilet for several days now. I have a hard time undrstanding that here I am, a 63 year old woman, crowing about my 74 year old hb pooping in the toilet!?!

    Wednesday I had to go with a friend to Palm Desert for most of the day. We don't usually eat breakfast, but I made breakfast burritos before I left. I left lunch in the frig for him and showed it to him,but he didn't eat it. I was amazed there was no mess anywhere in the house. I expected a disaster. He was perfectly happy. He must have been watching for us cause he came outside the moment we drove up. He had moved my note about where I was to next to his chair. NCIS was still playing on the tv. I was so lucky they had a marathon on the day I needed to be gone for such a long time.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeJan 6th 2018
     
    First a note to bhv. When I had to leave my mother to go to work, I put a small cooler on the table with a recyclable ice packet in it. I'd make a sandwich, a serving of fruit, some cookies and put them in. I'd leave it on the table with a note saying "This is your lunch". She always ate it although I never knew when.

    Next a note for Charlotte. I did look up "Sisters on the Fly". It does sound like they do do some interesting outdoor things. RV caravanning is one of them. Not too sure about workkamping. I keep thinking that if I get a job I might as well do it from home. Then have a little campfire in the back yard. More interested in hiking and seeing other parts of the country than I am in spending a day in a warehouse or cleaning out buildings. Although if I do explore it maybe there are other options than the two I just listed.

    And a third note for Long Years. I too wondered about visiting folks I've met on this website when I travel. If I travel. I've had to begin budgeting very carefully now that my household income is significantly smaller. But I will continue to dream about travel. If I am very very frugal, just maybe this summer I can travel this country for a month or two.......
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJan 6th 2018
     
    That's not a bad idea, Lindylou. He keeps picking up anything I leave on the counter and moving things. I am not sure if he would open it. Sometimes he just moves things. But I will.certainly give this a.try.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 6th 2018
     
    Anyone talking with Mim ? How is she doing?
  3.  
    She is not answering my emails. Unusual and very worrying.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJan 7th 2018
     
    Yes, Elizabeth - I've been worrying about her, too. I only wish I could let her know how much I (and I'm sure, others on this site) value her friendship.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJan 7th 2018
     
    Most of hb's conversation is unintelligible. But when he gets.mad at me he has no trouble with the sentence "I'm going to beat the shit out of you." Thankfully he hasn't even pushed me around lately. He threatened several times yesterday so I stopped talking to him and stopped caring what he wanted. I did cook his supper. Interestingly he ate it. Sometimes he makes me laugh cause he refuses the food like that would punish me for having the nerve .to criticize him. LOL. ROFLOL.
    He went to bed at 7 pm. I didn't bother going up there to make sure he managed to do that. He futzed around up there for awhile. Then came down and sat next to me on the couch.Now here's the reason for the story. I paused the tv and looked at him and asked what he wants. Very seriously, he says, "Well, you aren't doing very good. I can't get you to come up top with me."
    It was all I could do not to burst out in hysterical laughter. I'm not doing good?
    I told him twice I am NOT going to bed at 7 pm! He kept sitting there. So I put on The Blacklist. I had a whole season to catch up on. He hates this one. But he sat there, amazingly, without comment til 10.
    Oh yeah, I shouldn't get so mad at him cause it is almost a week with no poopy problems. Good grief what has my life devolved into?

    And, yes, I am beyond worried about Mim too. I am updating my instructions for my brother in case anything happens to me. I think I will add a line telling him to post something here on my behalf if something happens to me.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJan 7th 2018
     
    "I am updating my instructions for my brother in case anything happens to me. I think I will add a line telling him to post something here."
    Good idea, bhv. I'll do the same with my brother.
    My youngest son has been visiting me the last two weeks, and he tells me I'm doing fine (I've wondered). He says I'm good for another 5 years.
    Has anyone else had trouble accessing the site? I got three messages saying that the site had been disabled. I got in it by going back a few days in "history" and entering that way.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 9th 2018
     
    I still feel bad. Last night I took the dog. Came in. About 45 minutes later hb was looking for her. She was outside sitting at the door cold and wet from the rain. She never barked. I was distracted when I came in trying to keep the cat from running out so guess I forgot her. It irritates me cause she won't bark when she needs to go out and evidently when she wants in. At least the kitten sits out there yelling! She barks when you don't want her to and won't' bark when she should. I am a bad mommy! At least it was 38 and not any colder.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 9th 2018
     
    Silent dog talk is always hard to interpret especially when they are not seen. Doggie ESP is hard too. So, Charlotte, don't be rough on youself.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 10th 2018
     
    Last week my husband was transferred from his LTC to another LTC because of misbehaving. He was only there 7 weeks. That LTC had a mixture of patients - some with dementia, some without & some were mobile, in walkers & wheelchairs & my husband could walk around on the entire 2nd floor. He was going in & out of all the rooms - not a good situation for my husband or the others. He had kicked a man twice on 2 different occasions & the second time he kicked him the man hit him in the mouth. He would also push the wheelchairs around whether the resident wanted it or not. He had hit 2 PSWs, but that only happened once - to my knowledge. He also put his hand around a woman's neck who was in a wheelchair - that was the last straw - a few days before Christmas they told me he would have to be transferred to a facility more suited to his needs. They told me they had patients with Alzheimer that walked around, but they didn't cause problems.

    The one he's at now is better suited for Alzheimer patients that wander a lot - the section he's in is only for dementia patients that are mobile(no walkers or wheelchairs) & it only has 15 residents. There is another floor for Alzheimer patients that are not mobile. As bad as I feel he misbehaved, this move is much better for the two of us. Not only is this facility better suited for him it's only 6 minutes from my house. So far he seems to have adjusted to his new surroundings & is behaving, but it's only been 5 days.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 10th 2018
     
    It is all hard even when you are not physically cotrolling him it seems Nicky. The burden continues.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJan 10th 2018
     
    Nicky, This new place does sound as if it's more suited to his needs. And more conveniently located for you. Let's hope it works!
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 10th 2018
     
    http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/pharmaceutical-giant-pfizer-pulls-plug-on-alzheimers-and-parkinsons-drug-research/

    Sad news out of Pfizer but not surprising. Repeatedly failed tries mean loss of profits.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJan 10th 2018
     
    Nicky, all that sounds familiar where it was my wife who wouldn't be still and got into the 'space' of some of the other patients at times. There were two incidents where a male patient once pushed her around some and the other a male patient grabbed her breasts. On that one I had two police at my door asking me if I wanted to press charges for assault. No, the poor buggers. She didn't seem to be hurt because I checked them. That was a trip down memory lane making sure the little darlings were fine.

    Chartwell tended to move patients that caused problems but they were five times better than the popular NH with the five year waiting list. I also signed permission to put her in a wheelchair with a seat belt to help prevent her constant walking around getting into things and exhausting herself. It sounds like this has a much better chance of working out for everyone. I probably spent over a year worrying that she would get into trouble and be transferred to somewhere (even more) dreadful.

    somewhat off topic - there was one woman there who must have been in her seventies. Every time I went and she saw me, she would stalk me trying to touch...the family jewels so to speak. She did a couple of times. Most of the nurses and aides laughed it off with me when I didn't seem bothered by it and she would be escorted elsewhere in the wing. She mumbled the whole time about what do we have here and her boyfriend and what not. It made me wonder why there weren't two police at my door asking if I wanted to press charges. She clearly had intent where the poor sap who fondled the lovelies never seemed to have any intent about anything.

    Just one more in a string of strange things. I hated placing her and I hated going there but I sometimes helped feed three of them when they were short staffed and they really did work to try to make it work for everybody. When she passed, I was surprised how much I missed going there and being part of her care - even though I really did hate it all. Just one more thing that passed out of my life fluttering away in the tail wind, while the sum total in all those years of good things that seemed to happen seemed to be zero. I finally came up with the fact that I never got sick in those years as a good thing that happened; bit of a stretch really.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJan 11th 2018
     
    Wolf, I was glad to see your post. I thought maybe you'd gone AWOL. Still waiting to hear how your visit went with female.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 11th 2018
     
    Wolf, is your wife in private care at a Chartwell residence or is she in a public facility? Sounds like she's in private care?

    My husband was in a private residence for 5½ months, which is costly. It was not Chartwell it was All Seniors Care which is basically the same type of residence, but they could not handle his behaviour. So they requested a psychological evaluation, and the psychiatrist determined he needed a change of environment - long-term care facility. He was already on the waiting list for LTC & had to be somewhere while he waited for LTC, but the private residence would not take him back unless he got one on one surveillance for 10 hours a day. Fortunately, my social worker was able to provide that through the provincial government, so I did not have to pay for the one on one - thank goodness. Because of this expense the government had to incur, he became a priority on the waiting list. So 11 weeks later he entered the 1st public LTC (mid-November). There was nothing wrong with this facility, except it wasn't set up for wandering dementia patients who misbehaved. This new LTC is set up for mobile dementia patients & they are better able to deal with altercations.

    From my personal experience in this province, LTC which is subsidized by the provincial government, is better equipped to handle dementia patients than the private. He's much better off in LTC. Also, the ratio of PSW to resident is better in LTC than in the private - al least in this area. Yes, the downside to LTC is the waiting list, but we got very lucky - his misbehaviour had him pushed up the waiting list. I know you're in Ontario & I lived there all my life except for these past 5 years - I'm aware the waiting lists can be long & I'm wondering is there not a "priority" list that they use to speed things up when the patient requires it? Since they have that in place here in this province, I thought they should also have it in Ontario? Now, from what I've heard (not necessarily reliable sources) in Ontario when someone is on a waiting list, they stay there until their name moves up on the list regardless of the problems the family may be having. Is this correct?
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJan 11th 2018 edited
     
    Nicky, Wolf's dearly loved wife passed some time ago.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 11th 2018
     
    Wolf has never put the * by his name so it is confusing to me at times because I forget.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 11th 2018
     
    The other day I downloaded the Medicaid requirements for Washington state. It says you may have up to $1500 cash value in whole life, no limit in term life. So the $1000 policy his mom bought on him when he was born was over that so I am going to have to cash it in. I will see how much cremation cost and use it for that since that is allowed.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 11th 2018
     
    Charlotte, thank you for telling me that. I didn't know, because he didn't put the * beside his name & I haven't been here long enough to know. Or perhaps I missed that info in some of the treads. I feel stupid now......

    Wolf, I'm so sorry for your lost.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 11th 2018
     
    And thank you mary75 for telling me. I'm upset with myself for not knowing, that I didn't see the info came from mary75 - I only saw the last entry which was from Charlotte.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJan 11th 2018
     
    Nicky, thank you and please don't worry about it because I'm not.

    My wife was in a locked up ward in a publicly subsidized nursing home that mostly housed a senior's home. She was designated as being in LTC. At one point I was asked to pay for surveillance because they needed to provide one on one attendance. That lasted about half a year until she no longer walked and entered her wheelchair period. I also had to pay for the wheelchair.

    In Ontario you're assigned a care manager by CCAC. Some people reported real problems with them, but she was very helpful. It turned out the safe word was to say "I'm in crisis" which instantly turned my situation from a waiting list to an immediate crisis. Dianne was in a private LTC for respite for me while our in-home hlep was spending two months in Poland. It was when those people told me they had to end the respite because they needed the bed that I phoned my CCAC manager and told her I was in crisis. She never came home again. There was a meeting with at least ten people including CCAC and the LTC staff and when they all agreed she wouldn't be brought home again I cried like a little girl. She was already on the waiting list for months but she was placed in three days.

    Please don't be upset that you didn't know my wife had passed but thank you for your condolences. It's all good and isn't a thing anymore. She was lucky to have me. I mean I was lucky to have her. Well, you know what I mean.

    I do believe in Ontario they also move some up based on various priorities. When the bed came up I was given 24 hours to agree or lose the spot. I did find that asking questions about how the processes worked helped me to understand what my options were. I was surprised by the amount of conflicting information I got from different sources about the very same thing. In the end I was more a bystander and navigator of the processes that were already established. The only real decision I made was the non resusitation form which I chose to do and getting the dietician to get bananas on her meal plan (fav food).

    My only small regret aside from the whole thing was that I didn't have the cycles to start developing my own life at home earlier in those three years she was in the NH. It doesn't matter I suppose because whatever journey we come through becomes the story anyway.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2018 edited
     
    I spent this past week helping a friend whose husband has just died from Parkinson's and Lewy Body dementia. She wanted me to put together a power point slide show like had put together for my partner for his collation. So we sorted through pictures and made choices. Then I scanned them into my computer. The service was yesterday and people at the collation seemed to enjoy the slides. They gave glimpses into his life that many may not have been privy to or had only heard about. This gentleman had gone skydiving in his 60s and had some amazing photos of this that we were able to include as well as the many more traditional pictures that include Christmases and vacations past. The part I was most afraid of was the technical piece of using the projector and getting the pictures on my computer to show on the screen. I had used the expertise of my son during my sister's and then my partner's services. All worked out well when I discovered that I had to remove the projector's lens cap. lol.

    My son and daughter-in-law are coming today and we are leaving for Iceland tomorrow for a week. So maybe I will actually see that bucket list item, the Northern Lights. I've been doing research on them, starting with the information that Wolf wrote. Then last week I stumbled on a Nova show on PBS all about them. Even if I do not see the Aurora Borealis, and that is not a given, I will get to spend a week with my son and d-i-l. I am so very glad to be able to be really really looking forward to something. Numbness has been paralyzing me for a while.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2018
     
    Well, here we go again. My husband has only been in his new LTC for 1 week today & he started misbehaving again. He's twisting the other residents' arms.... & when the workers approach him he shows them his fist...They told me not to worry about it - they will handle it. But, do we ever stop worrying about our spouses??? It's like our adults kids - never stop worrying about them either - & then we have the grandchildren... He also is pulling down his pants in the hallway - that didn't bother me when they mentioned it. That may just mean he needs to go to the bathroom, so they can handle that.

    On a positive note, most of the time he seems well behaved, he eats very well, doesn't complain about the food & he still recognizes me when I visit - so that's good. And now that this LTC is close to my house, I can go anytime - even twice a day if the need ever arises & I can visit for only ½ hour if he's sleepy or something since I'm only 6 minutes away. It is reassuring to me that he's well taken care of & the responsibility is no longer on my shoulders. I've been making an effort to find anything positive in all this mess, because if I only focus on the negative (and there's lots), I won't be able to live. Like my daughter told me many times - the grandchildren have lost their grandfather, they don't want to lose their grandmother also.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2018
     
    Nicky, please keep me posted on things like this. I am very fearful.of this with my hb. I am very afraid of what my legal liability might be if he were to hurt another resident if he is ever placed somewhere. And I am afraid of someday deciding I can't do it any more and placing him and then having them tell me I have to take him back because of his agression. Although he is much calmer now. He threatens, but has not come near me.

    I recently saw.a.video again where a doctor explains the difference between male and female brains. He starts.with the male brain because it is much simpler. He says the male brain stores things in boxes. And they strive for the fewest number of boxes possible. The guy's favorite box is called Nothing. It is his favorite box by far. A man can sit for hours thinking about Nothing. His description of the female brain is pretty accurate too, so I imagine men's.brains are really like that. As the Alzheimers has taken away nearly every box in his brain, it gves him lots of time to spend with the Nothing box. I guess that is why he is so happy lately.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2018
     
    I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at a tv commercial tonight. This incredibly sincere doctor was talking about Alzheimer's. He said, "Fully half of alzheimer sufferers don't know they have it." Well that doesn't mean they haven't been diagnosed you idiot.
    Then he says it is an insidious disease and the earlier it is diagnosed and treated the better their outcome.
    Ummmm, excuuuuse me? What treatment? Define better outcome? The only reason I agreed to try the Aricept was I.was.assured that it might slow his cognitive decline but would not extend the process. So he was on Arcept for three years. It appears that perhaps it did slow cognitive decline. As he gets worse he seems to be happier. Is that the better outcome the doctor sees? At what cost? How much does he and his doctor have a right to extend the agony for me? Basically he is a physically fit body, but no one is home. There needs to be a treatment for that.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2018
     
    bhv, my wife was put on Aricept about 3 years ago. I never saw any change in her except maybe her diarrhea was worse. Well after reading some stories on this forum I just 'happen' to forget giving them to her about 3 months ago. playing doctor huh. Well, I saw no change in her mental conditon but, her bowels are a lot better. ???????
    I am just so glad I do not have to deal with the poop problem - - yet.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2018
     
    bhv, yes I'll keep you posted as things progress with my husband's misbehaviour. I have an appointment next week with the facility, so I might have a better idea of how they will be handling his behaviour. This is a standard appointment with the staff, 2 weeks after a new admission.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2018 edited
     
    Dummy me. They send home a calendar every month with my husband. One side has the menu and one the activities (which never change). I only looked at the menu side which said closed so I didn't get him up. 9:00 someone is knocking at the door - the bus driver. I should have known since it happened once before but that time I called to verify. The activity side had nothing about being closed. The menu side was referring to Meals on Wheels being closed. So I missed a day for a break now having to wait until Wednesday. I hope he lives that long!!! He hid the cat toy again yesterday. Was laying on the floor - he put it somewhere. Last night the cat was bugging me to get it and play with her. When I do, she is quieter at night. Last night she was constantly in our bedroom getting into anything she could. I have got to find it today but so far no luck.

    Update: I found the cat's toy. Yahoo - cat very happy.
  4.  
    Since I can't stay away from this site that did so much for me during my caregiving days.
    I'm thinking that I should contribute something once in a while so you all will know that
    I'm still coming here every day and wishing that I could do something to help.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2018
     
    ttt