My husband died on August 10. He died in his sleep. I was on a camping trip with my children, sisters, grandchildren, cousin - about 2 hours away. I got the call at 5:30 Am. My daughter and I went rushing back, and we had the mortuary bring him home for the last time. The kids and I washed and dressed him, and his sons built a pine box for him. We laid him in it with mementos and love. He was cremated on Wednesday. On September 6th, there will be a memorial service and party. I am happy and sad, alternately, and all at once. I haven't been a part of this group for very long, but I appreciated all your support. I don't really know how I feel at the moment, but I will keep checking in, in hopes that I may be able to help some one else through this horrendous journey. Now that the difficult part is over, I miss him so much. Even as demented as he was, I still felt his love through his physical presence. Now, I have to learn to live without that.
My heart is with you and you are wrapped in a blanket of love from everyone in this group. Please stay with us and let us support your through your new journey.
I am so sorry for your loss Beenthere, I am expecting the same call any time and it is such a roller coaster, wanting them to be at peace and yet having to say the final goodbyes after we have already lost so much. I hope you and your children can soon remember the good times and cherish those thoughts. Take care of your self. Kathy
((beenthere)) I am so very sorry for your loss. I can imagine the mix of emotions that must be in you heart. You must be so relieved his fight is over, yet ……And yes, please keep coming back, let us help you through this new journey. Please know that I will be thinking of you and your family. I got all teary when I read what your sons did, how moving. God bless~Nikki
Beenthere, I am so sorry for your loss and I pray you will look back on the good times when all was well and remember them and that they will sustain you. God Bless
Oh, beenthere ... I am so very sorry. Thank you for letting us know. I hope that you will be able to remember all the love and good times. Please do stay with us -- we need you, and I hope that we can be there for you in the days that are to come.
beenthere, I hope when the time comes, that my husband goes peacefully in his sleep. Please check in with us. You are in my prayers and I hope for strength for you for this next year, especially. You have become a good friend and we are with you in spirit.
Dear Beenthere - Yes, I know, I always said that I did not want my loved one to leave me, but at the same time he deserved his peace. Enough was enough. Your are blessed to have such devoted children. He must have been a very special man, and you will love him forever.
Beenthere, we just lost a dear friend to Alzheimer's disease and his son said to me that the difference in losing one to Alzheimer's is that you do most of your grieving BEFORE they go instead of after. I'm sure you have grieved for him a long time and have some relief that he is no longer suffering with this.
There was a thread about what we want to do after AD. We all had our dreams but in reality, helping someone else probably gives us more comfort than anything. I hope you will be here to help us all as we go down the path that you've already been on. Also, I hope we can help you just by being here and caring. I hurt for you and for all of us. Wish I could give you a hug right now.
beenthere, I am so sorry for your loss. Please do stick around as long as it also helps you, because we all know it will help us if you are here. You would be missed.
beenthere, We think we have are done with grieving when we have lost our loved one as a person. I'm not there yet but I imagine the final loss is still a blow. Very sorry.
My condolences to you, your children, and grandchildren. How blessed you and your husband are to have such a devoted family. Though there is a sadness to the finality of his passing there is also the bittersweetness that he is at peace and reached his reward. Please take care, know that we all care and are thinking of you. Check in as often as you can and let us know how you are. Big hugs to you.
Beenthere - My heart is heavy for you and your loss...all the emotions you are feeling, I can only imagine that is what it will be like. Please take care of you in the days ahead. Much love, Debbie
beenthere - I grieve with you and can so understand where you are since Hank is now within hours or a few days of dying. There are so many emotions - hating to let go, but knowing a diminshed life is not the same as the vibrant man you married. May your memories and your family give you comfort. Love to you.
Dear Beenthere--I'm so very sorry about your loss. I'm sure your emotions are so mixed. We all grieve when we receive the news and grieve during the journey. However, yours is so final. i pray you will be comforted and you'll find peace. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. We really do need your input on how you are handling this new phase in your life.
I am so sorry for your loss....you have suffered so many losses as your dear one has left you bit by bit....I have gained great comfort from a Bible verse and I send it to you hoping you receuve comfort from it also.
Psalm 30:5 "Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning"
Beenthere so sorry for your loss. Your husband was he same age as my DH. It is too young to have this terrible sickness and certainly to young to die. Bless you and your children during this time.
Beenthere, I'm newer to this site. Therefore I would have to go back to find your postings. I have been trying to read older postings but haven't got to all of them. Your loss has me in tears, and the comments about losing DH piece by piece reaches home to me. My heart goes out to all of you and at this time especially to you beenthere. What an appropriate name...
Beenthere, Please accept our profound condolences on your loss of your dear husband. he is at peace and rid of the afflictions of this horrid disease. let us know how you are doing. my best to you and yours, divvi
My deepest sympathies are with you during this difficult time. My wish for you is that eventually, only the good memories of your life together will remain with you, and the horrors of Alzheimer's Disease will fade. You have done all you could for your DH - now it is time to take care of yourself.
Beenthere, I keep thinking of you..... Please know I am here when and if you ever want to chat. Keeping you and your family in my thoughs and prayers~Nikki
Please accept my deepest sympathy for you and your family. You know that you husband is finally at peace and now is time for you to find peace in that you did a wonderful job of helping him through his journey with this dreadful disease.
Thank you everyone. I am awed by the outpouring of caring a support from people I have never actually met. I'd like to share with you the beautiful poem I read for my husband at our family funeral. It is Number III of "Three Elegiac Poems" by Wendell Berry, and seemed particularly appropriate for someone dying of Alzheimer's. My thoughts are with all of you in every stage of this terrible journey.
He goes free of the earth. The sun of his last day sets clear in the sweetness of his liberty. The earth recovers from his dying, the hallow of his life remaining in all his death leaves. Radiances know him. Grown lighter than breath, he is set free in our remembering. Grown brighter than vision, he goes dark into the life of the hill that holds his peace. He is hidden among all that is, and cannot be lost.