I believe that since I have beenn down this AD brick road that somewhere along it's way I lost the good humor man and the experience of joy. Amy I alone??????
No, you're not alone...but it will come back. I think that fighting off depression, loneliness, exhaustion, worry of all kinds...takes away any wish to find humor in situations, and sucks out all the joy. It doesn't last forever, thank goodness.
We have to have some humor in our lives to keep us sane. One previous thread was called "allrighty, then" and told of humorous things our AD spouses had done. Another popular one, which has been inactive for the past month, is "let's have some humor". I know it's hard, but try to keep your sense of humor.
The humor has temporarily left the building....but it will be back, sometimes when you least expect it. I also think that for us we might feel guilty for actually having a happy thought, for actually chuckling at something that strikes our funny bone, or making a wisecrack or a joke about something that has happened. For those of us dealing with this, we'll be chuckling right along with you. As for anybody who doesn't get it....so what! :D
Remember, we both are living in an ALF. I can poke fun at others with something witty but, I don' feel humorous, just like to get another old foggie to smile. It is almost fun which has been missing too. I do it in front of DW.
I'm with you Rod, I am ok at faking a smile or laugh, but I find is really hard to genuinely find things funny. I guess most of the genuinely funny I laugh at is the funny things the kitten does.
I have not been in good humor for many years now. Too much sadness, worry, pain, etc. Every once in a while, though, I surprise myself by laughing out loud. Today was one of those times. I was driving and heard a radio news story about Harvey Weinstein (the movie producer who attacked all those women). The story said he "denied he had any nonconsenual sex but admitted that he had a problem." Hearing the word "problem," I laughed out loud, thinking, "Yes, you've got a big problem and it's called the NYPD!"
Ok so an older couple are laying in bed spooning when the man gently starts to caress the woman's left arm. He then moved over and runs his hand up and down her right arm. Then over and up and down her back. The woman was thinking well this is quite good. Then he reached around and staring massaging her stomach and chest she was starting to get very aroused when he put his hand down on her inner thighs. Suddenly he stopped! She said "why did you stop that feels really good". He replied "because I found the remote"
Rona, that is me when I am hunting the remote in his recliner. But sometimes I have to laugh, or I would start crying. Maybe it's the same kind of humor we seem to have at funerals. And if people don't understand, that's their problem.
In our skilled nursing, there was one woman with the most pitiful voice and she would roll down the hall, asking over and over "But where do you want me to go?" The nurse just repeated "go to the dining hall mrs.?". It went on and on. I was standing in the door and the nurse hesitated and I looked at her and said I know what you want to say, but don't" and we both started to laugh. It really wasn't that funny, but it was a release.
The other day he was talking about our being broke. Somedays we don't have enough money for me to get him a hamburger.(that may be true sooner that later, but now now) He said, "Why don't you just put me in the cheapest nursing home you can find and leave me. It doesn't matter how dirty or bad it is, just don't come see me". We were sitting side by side. I didn't say a word. So he elbowed me and said, "did you hear what I said" I said "yes, I did". He said, and actually laughed, oh I know you won't do that.
another thought, how much Fun is sucked out of one's life when one becomes a caretaker of an AD partner. Not sure what it is any more. Someone explaine what it is that I have lost.
When you loose your other half, someone that your life has revolved around, someone you had retirement plans and dreams with - that takes you life away. My husband and i were the type we did everything together - didn't really have friends that we hung out with unless they were church or Bible Study activities. Now it is him and me caught up in his life and needs until he dies. I talk to people in the RV park where we live, but it is mostly them talking me listening. I work hard to not break down in front of anyone or whine about my life. They do let me know how they observed hb loosing ground, which is probably good cause I try not to think about it. I have a couple ladies that keep asking why I have not placed him. I tell them he is not far enough along for Medicaid to approve. Then they talk about their mom or dad not being as bad as hb but Medicaid paid for them. They don't understand it is different when a spouse vs a parent that is alone.
Because my life and world revolves around AD, I find it hard to have joy.
I know it is possible as I have found joy and happiness again. The survivor guilt creeps In at times but I try to keep it in it's place, filed away. Know there are still rough times ahead but also know I will survive them and life will go on. When she could express it That is what she wanted for me to be happy and to have a life and that is what I intend to do. I hope all of you in your way can find what I have.
Just take it one step at a time...one day at a time...try to keep your head above water and don't despair. It truly does not last forever. There will always be problems, bumps, downturns in life, I think. That is just reality. But the misery of being an Alzheimer spouse does have an end date.
At thanksgiving years ago,the phone rang and my late wife said I'll get it as the whole family was gathered around the dinner table,she got up from the table walked into the other room and picked up the "phone" seemed quite agitated as the person calling wouldn't answer so she came to the table where all the family was gathered and handed me the remote control for the TV and said someone was playing a joke because when she answered it was all quiet
A guy was driving around town with 15 penguins in the back of his station wagon. A policeman stopped him and said, "Hey, you can't drive around town with 15 penguins in your vehicle. You'll have to take them to the zoo." So the first guy said OK, and drove away. Later that day, the policeman caught him again, driving around town, still with the 15 penguins in the back of the station wagon. "Hey!" says the policeman, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"I did, " said the man, "but they said they would rather go to the movies."
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.
One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house."
The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well.
I met this preacher who told me about a cockatoo who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him.
I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it ....... Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes.
She wrote: Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."
From the American Legion magazine "Parting Shots" :
I like to get the most out of mystery novels. I always start in the middle--not only do I wonder how it'll end, I also wonder how it started.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives.
Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. "I'll have to cross the road, " one says. "Well, be careful," the other one replies. "There's a bus coming in an hour."
An alligator goes to the vet one afternoon. "What can I do ya for?" the veterinarian asks.
"Well doc," says the gator, "I haven't been my normal self for weeks. I used to be able to swim for hours and chase prey. Now, I can barely swim twenty feet and I haven't caught a single meal in days. Everything seems off."
"I see...I see." said the veterinarian. "I think I've got a cure for you." The vet disappears into the back of the clinic and comes back with a bottle of pills. He hands them to the alligator, who reads the perscription.
"Viagra?!?" the alligator yells, confused. "What the hell doc?"
The veterinarian replies, "Its obvious to me you're suffering from a reptile dysfunction."
Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesus is watching you."
In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesus is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes."
Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence."
The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesus."