I read about this once and can't find it again. I don't know if it a progression of the disease or not. I don't guess it really matters. Just would like a suggestion.
DH is telling me some very logical things that have happened,----but they didn't. Is this part of the disease. Do I agree with him, try to correct him, try to find out what he is connecting it with. For example: we went to a funeral and he is telling me there were two caskets there, one was on the floor and he wants to know who was it it. If I say "No, there was only one at the front of the church", he says "that's right I am just a liar".
Don't contradict or confront him over anything--it is pointless, and will just get you both upset. Just try to defuse or evade whatever it is you're talking about. Or just make some non-committal, socially acceptable kind of reply. Then try and get his attention on to something else.
For what it's worth, I stopped taking Larry to funerals because he kept asking loudly, "Who died?" (The last time, it was my younger brother. He and Larry had been great friends...it was hard to grieve my brother--who died suddenly and much too young of cardiac issues--and try to supervise Larry at the same time. This was back in 2011.)
My DH does that too. And has the same reaction if I say it didn't happen. Lately I have to say I don't know what you mean. He gets upset and tells me how stupid I am for not understanding. Sometimes I just don't respond at all and start talking about something else and that works. If he insists and I don't have a clue and he calls me stupid I just have to walk away. I go outside and move more dirt around or rocks or use a sledge hammer and destroy something. Which is actually productive cause I am cleaning up the property. Sometimes he freaks me out talking about people who came here and he gave them a piece of his mind and they left. Later I sometimes figure out that he wasn't talking about people. He meant birds, or clouds or the wind. He is currently fascinated with the wind blowing the trees. You wouldn't believe the number of times a day he calls me to come look at what the trees are doing.
This was a special friends grandson and my DH was determined to go. He did well at the funeral. Now he keeps asking "Who was in the casket. The one on the floor." I hope the friend understands when he ask him. I may be wrong, but it seems like this 50% of mentally functional and 50% not is way more frustrationg to me. I keep reminding myself, don't argue with him. But sometimes the correction me just comes out even tho my mouth is sealed shut.
when your wife tells you about an event that you know is just not true or she discribes smoke coming out of her mouth, you must think hallucination. If she discribes a UFO that landed inyour backyard thats most likely an illusion. AD folks are capable of having both. Watch out for these mind traps or at least do no react the wrong way to them. Do not confront such talk - deflect conversation as soon as possible. If you are not quick of mind such tallk will bury you. Always exspect the unexspected!!
DH in his last year of life, would tell people he played in the band with Johnny Cash. He had a care aide convinced that he flew planes in WWII. He was born in 1951. He had been around when Tastykake was founded in PA in 1914. And on and on. We just enjoyed the stories. Once I got over the shock of his first few.
He has been so convinced about the 2 caskets, I talked to our friend and explained it and he won't be blind sided I agree some of the things are so strange, you have to be entertained. I had read about it on one of these boards, but I still was surprised. Rodstar 43, good advice-----expect the unexpected
Yes dear is my go to response. Does it matter no it doesn't. Took a long time to get over wanting to correct but as Elizabeth says don't contradict to confront over anything, useless and unproductive just creates conflict. Truth or what is right or wrong does not matter remember they have their own reality.
It took me a very long time to learn to just go along with it instead of trying to correct or argue. I think my own mouth was my biggest enemy. About the casket....would throwing a question or statement back to him help? Like "who do you think it might have been? I can't think of it myself." Or maybe that would just lead to being called stupid again....I don't know!
Mim, another vintage 43 here, just go along with is hard sometimes. I cannot help myself, when DW gets worked up over "the kids never call", I can't help myself, I want and do defend my kids. Yes, they call etc. They really try, but if it was not in last 3 minutes she forgets. I want to defend their honor. Papa Bear - don't mess with my kids, even if they are over 50' she can get so mad at them. I have been trying "dontcha remember". Calling list doesn't help. DW getting mad at our kids and grand kids, erks me. She say things like "they better hope I go before you" or "they wont get nothing" So, just going along is hard sometimes. No kuddling for her. I. catch mysef, cancer, hurry up.
Mim, have you tried the question? Sounds like it could be fun. Sounds like he is being a broken record about that casket and driving you nuts. I think I would keep saying I .... DONT ..... KNOW.... over and over again. Sometimes lately if DH is being annoying like that I lose my temper on purpose. Sometimes if I yell about something he doesn't do it again, or at least not for awhile. It is funny, but sometimes he thinks about something like that for several.days and then says something about it. Since every.15 minutes is generally a brand new world, it is very odd when he does that.