"He/she looks great. I don't see anything wrong with them". We have all heard this, while we know he/she is not. Some sufferers of AD can mask their behavior in public, to a point. Wonder if this is like when someone asks you how you are and you say "fine", while really you are not.
I find myself being more observant of people over 65 than I used to be. Find myself "looking" to see if they are showing signs of Early Stage AD. Maybe the spouse is well aware of the other spouse's difficulties and hoping other people won't notice. Denial stage, and we have all been there. I am sure "other people" are hoping and praying this terrible disease won't enter their home next. lmohr
Copy and paste this link to the blog I wrote a year ago- "I don't see anything wrong with him, Joan"- http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/nothingwrong.htm . Also, one of my most recent blogs - http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/Lyingdramaqueen.htm. And another one - http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/Doctorsfeedingdenial.htm
Go to the top of this page, click "search", and put in Everyone Thinks We're Exaggerating.
This is a very common phenomenon and it drives me crazy. I just wrote about it again in the blog that is still on the front page - Humor in the Midst of Pain - August 13th - it's down toward the end of the home page.
I guess I am lucky. My friends know me well. I am not a complainer. So when I tell them this or that, they take me at my word. (Except his nitwit brother.) But if I were to run into our neighbors, they wouldn't notice anything. Most people wouldn't notice anything. What a strange life.
Just about all of us caregivers have heard "He looks fine to me" or "He doesn't look bad" or "Are you sure he has Alzheimer's?" or variations of the statement.
While pondering this I know of times in my own life, I looked at people who was said to have Alzheimer's and thinking much of the same thing. It was before I had become so intimate with the situation. I thought anyone with Alzheimer's would all look like someone in the final stages. I had no idea there were stages. Many have mentioned their spouse was "acting" while in public and the public didn't see their rages, violence, forgetfulness, etc. but after they got back home they could "let their guard down," so to speak. This would be while they are in the early stages and able to do so.
Joan has mentioned a couple web/sits regarding this situation.