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Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2017
     
    I know of one other man who gave his pain ridden body to the care of his Advanced ALZ wife of 71 years. It is hard to do the right things when you are hurting, but that's what you do.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2017
     
    Oh Rodstar43, I can't imagine. This is so exhausting without being in pain myself. Well I have been feeling sorry for myself because I hurt my wrists with all the chores my DH.used to do. But I better snap out of that. This will get better. I hope you have health coverage so you can get appropriate pain management.
    Have you been here before? Were you born in 43? My DH.was born in July of that year. I am 11 years younger. We always joked that I would be able to push his wheel chair around and wipe his chin. ALZ was not what I imagined. And I didn't imagine being a caregiver in my 60s. We were a pair to draw to before. Now my partner is gone. I don't recognize this person living in my house needing help to change the tv channel.
    If we are not careful of ourselves this disease has the ability to take TWO lives. It is not being selfish to care for yourself. Have you been to your local Office on Aging? I took a 12 week course for Caregivers there. It was a good series of classes. But the best part was meeting other spouses and the staff.at that office. They gave us a sheet with many services that will help. If you haven't been, I strongly suggest you go. Meet with one of their social.workers and see if they have any services to help you care for both yourself and your spouse. They.have a bunch of services for low income folks, but you don't have to be poor to find help there!
    Lindylou has access to a PACE program. If you are in the States, you might have that program near you. Look for it.
    Welcome to our little circle of supportive spouses. This is a really neat group.of special people. We can say anything here and be assured that someone else has.also felt that. Struggling with something? Try searching here. There are years worth of tips to handle just about anything. Didn't find it, just ask. Someone will chime in with suggestions.
    You are not alone.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2017
     
    Oh, sorry, Rodstar43. I just remembered to look at the stickies and saw your introduction. We are.retired Air Force too. DH retired as pilot of KC-10. He flew C-123 in VietNam. He was.at SAC HQ just before the KC-10 Test Team. We met at Barksdale on the staircase of a KC-10. I was Maintenance Officer and had to ask if he could fly the mission without a boost pump. Typical pilot, he says, sure.would like to have that pump. I said, if I had that pump on base I would have installed it at 3am and wouldn't be having this discussion! He broke in to the orderly room to find my phone number and asked me out the next day. Silly pilot, could have.just called information. My head was.saying NO, but I heard my voice saying yes. I got out after.4 years. He was close to retirement and I was just starting. I worked for Northrop Grumman on the B-2 and he flew for Continental Airlines til.we retired in 1997. We live on a 3 acre "ranch" in Southern CA.
    My DH is shadowing me lately too. Very disconcerting! Sometimes I just lose it and scream at him to get away from me and let me work. That can last for as long as 30 seconds sometimes. Then he is back. Smiling, just wants to come talk to me. But if I get sarcastic or he feels criticized he turns on a dime and can get violent. I am trying to control my behavior to avoid those situations. Doing better, but far from perfect.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2017
     
    Rodstar43, every state has an agency that can help you connect with services. Also the Alzheimer Society may be able to direct you to services. Look into local support groups for family members of Alzheimer patients. These folks also can be a wealth of information about local services. The PACE program worked for my partner and me, but it is not a nationwide program. If you google it you may be able to see if it is in your area. I can tell you more about PACE if it does cover your area and you are interested. It works for some people, not for others.

    Services that may be available to you: daycare, home health aides, homemakers, respite care.

    It is important that you not get hurt giving care. People said if you get hurt, what will happen to your spouse? I'd answer back, what will happen to me if I get hurt? So take precautions to keep yourself safe.

    Sending out prayers and good thoughts your way.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2017
     
    Sorry Rodstar43, I wrote this before seeing that you are in assisted living. PACE is when someone qualifies for nursing home level.care but wants to remain at home.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeSep 5th 2017
     
    I los a long message. Help. You.on a kindle. Eeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTimeSep 6th 2017
     
    Rodstar43. What I do is write my note on word, then copy and paste onto the website page. That way I don't go over the allotted time. Also I've found that sometimes if I go back one page by hitting the arrow that points left near the top of the page I can recover the note and copy it, then sign in again, find the page and paste. Might that work for you?
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 6th 2017
     
    Thanks Lindylou. I have been having the same problem as Rodstar43 on my Nook tablet. I don't always know it is going to be a long one so have started adding my comments and then editing it to add more. If I plan to write a long one I am going to use word and copy/paste.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 6th 2017
     
    Rodstar43, I sure am glad to see you are here. A bunch of people have come here and posted and then we.didn't hear fom them again. I think you are going to be a good addition to our group.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeSep 9th 2017
     
    I got this on on my desktop computer, but now I have different problems. My wife gets paranoid and will sneak up behind me to see what I am typing. I have to do this while she is asleep. What a way to go. In our 55 years of marriage she never did that. So if I am short you will know why. We are living in an Assisted living facility that does have a memory care unit. So, when needed, one day when she totally forgets me, I will ask for that help and move her to that floor. Until then I will hang in there. Not easy some days.
    Will cover more another time.
    Richard