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  1.  
    OK, the churn is on it's way.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeOct 19th 2017
     
    I'm fairly new to this group & I have a stupid question. I haven't read all the comments yet, but I'm assuming The Cottage on the Lake is fictitious? It seems almost impossible that all of you are actually able to get together???
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeOct 19th 2017
     
    Yes Nicky, it is imaginary. Which, in my mind is a.very different thing than "fictitious". When we get near the holidays there is a Christmas lodge. I was telling a friend in the real.world about that last Christmas and how it had frankly and truthfully saved my life. Her eyes got wide and she asked where she could find a place like that.

    Right now,.for a bit, I am not able to get to the cottage. Kind of concerned about that.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeOct 20th 2017
     
    bobbie, no woman or man left behind. could be a motto for this group. Better than than the american military meaning..
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeOct 20th 2017 edited
     
    Hi Nicky, Welcome to our virtual "cottage on the lake". What is really neat about this imaginary place is that we can swim, canoe, dangle our feet in the water, sit by a campfire. It takes us away, for a time, from the grief, pain, frustration, anger, sadness, and loneliness that is our everyday life as the caregivers for those with dementia. And most importantly, perhaps, is that we can do all of this with the friends we have met on this website. Because we are not bound by real time, Wolf can ask for Swiss Mocha ice-cream and five hours later I can "virtually" bring it to him as if he has just sat down. Pretty cool, Huh?

    Hoping bhv can leave her stress behind and find a moment to sit here with us for a while. Or maybe even climb the mountain on the other side of the lake. And even though it is always summer here, I think if we look on the far side of that mountain, we may see some fall foliage. Sending love your way.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeOct 22nd 2017
     
    Lindylou, I feel like I am trying to climb the mountain on the other side of the lake. I got here last night for a few minutes. Sat at the end of the dock with my feet in the water listening to the katydids. Fireflies. Pretty quickly I was up and pacing up and down the boardwalk.

    This afternoon I am sitting on the hammock with a coffee ice cream cone. Remembering. We rented a beach house in San Juan Capistrano and got married, barefoot, on the beach, there. Every night we'd go to Dana Point for ice cream. I always got coffee. He got Rocky Road. Or we'd share a Harpoon Henry's Mud Pie. That was a lifetime ago.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeOct 23rd 2017
     
    bhv, how about a canoe ride instead of a climb. And you don't have to pace, you paddle instead. If we paddle over to the left and through the narrows we'll come to what is called the third basin. It is shallow and filled with logs and lily pads and cat o nine tails. We can see the turtles sunning on the logs and herons waiting for fish to come by. if we look down we'll see hornpout and frogs.

    It is good to think about the things that were a life time ago. A barefoot wedding! Imagine. I'm remembering canoeing with my partner down the Delaware Water Gap. That kind of remembering is good, even when it brings tears.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeOct 23rd 2017
     
    I'm in! Cat tails!!! When we were kids on Long Island we'd light them and pretend they were cigars and keep away the mosquitoes. Remember the smell of them. Let's stop here for a.bit and savor that. I need to look up hornpout.

    DELAWARE WATER GAP! I went to college upstate and my brother went there too. We would drive home through the gap. What fun. At the bottom we'd stop at Howard Johnson's for a huge ice cream sundae with about 4 scoops and chocolate syrup and whipped cream. The sugar high would keep us awake long enough to get through the city and way out east on LI.

    Yes barefoot wedding. My parents and sister and youngest brother came even though I didn't invite anyone. We barbecued stuffed clams, lobster and steak. I couldn't find a small enough wedding cake so wasn't going to have any. My sister in law found one. Something like the top layer with a bride and groom on top. We told them they could come to the wedding only if they agreed to leave by 7 pm. It was a perfect day in October and the ocean was warm enough to go swimming. The Air Force Chaplain was from Hawaii and went swimming too.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeNov 4th 2017
     
    Hi Lindylou, Let's.go for a.canoe paddle.around the lake. It is a pretty day here. Maybe we can see.some swans land. That will remind me of home. Funny thought that. I only spent my first.18 years on Long Island. Been in Ca.for 35. But Long Island and the Great South Bay will.always.be home.
    Then we can fire up that grill.you brought for some steak. There is some of Pam's leftover salad and a couple twice baked potatoes. They were Jim's specialty and the very last thing he.forgot how to make in the kitchen.

    I even made a dessert! Uncharacteristic. Haven't made it since college. I forgot how good it tastes. You put a whole box of vanilla wafers layered in a rectangular baking dish. Pour jello over them. Any flavor, but I like rasberry and now you can get sugar free. Refrig til.set. Then put vanilla pudding on top. I forgot to get some coolwhip, but didn't miss that. It is a poor gals take on English Trifle.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeNov 4th 2017
     
    I've been anticipating the steak all afternoon. Mmmm. And twice baked potatoes, and salad. I'm going to make a point to save room for dessert!

    But first the canoe ride. You know, if you think you are strong enough (and I'm sure you are with all the yard work you've been doing) we can paddle over to the dam and portage over into the river. Then we'll just paddle a couple miles up stream and then float back down. Even though it is always summer here you can note just a little bit of color in the leaves. We'll watch out for herons and red winged blackbirds and maybe even, if we are lucky, see a peregrine falcon. Now I want everyone to know there are a couple more canoes cached under the porch. So anyone else who wants to come, you can. Paddles and life preservers for everyone.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeNov 4th 2017
     
    I will look forward to the trip up the river with Y'all anytime.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeNov 5th 2017
     
    What an afternoon y'all. So Lindylou and I were meandering around the lake sightseeing and heading toward the portage. Look overhead. Here comes Rodstar in his little sea plane. Not sure how he handled all the mooring and getting to shore business. We were too far away. Well we discovered something new about our magical bubble over the lake. There is no pain here! You all should have seen Rodstar. He pulled another canoe from under the porch and paddled like a young athlete to catch up to us. He was so enthralled at his new powers he paddled a lap around the little blueberry island just for fun. Then he hoisted that canoe up over his head and we did the portage to the river. It is a little harder paddling upstream, but boy was it worth it. When we turned around to drift back there was a pair of snowy owls watching us. Something spooked the red wing blackbirde and a huge flock of them took off directly at us. It was quite the sight. Then we saw the peregrine falcon with his prize on the branch of a dead tree.
    When we got back we sat quite contentedly on the dock with our feet in the water with our dear friend Mim.
    Wonder what we can scare up for an easy supper?
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeNov 5th 2017
     
    No wonder I am tired.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeNov 15th 2017
     
    Can't sleep tonight so I came to the cottage. Just sitting on the deck tonight. I put a sweater on instead of starting a campfire tonight. Its past midnight, going on 1 PM. Can just barely see the milky way. The lake is as calm as glass right now. No sounds.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeNov 16th 2017
     
    I should have said something. I stopped by here several times yesterday. Just to breathe.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2017
     
    Hi, bhv. I understand the breathing part. I can breathe here too. Good to see you. I need to come here briefly nearly every day. Just for the peacefulness that I'm not finding anywhere else. Although I am being given a lot of emotional support. For this I am blessed. Always glad to sit here with a friend. Or canoe.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2017
     
    The sun is setting directly in the middle of my window. It's framed by a long horizontal branch of my honey locust tree on top and a band of steel blue clouds just above the tree line. It's 4:40 pm and the light is failing. The leaves are all down finally and we've had two dustings of snow already.

    I miss the summer and I'm close to shedding a tear over that thought because it's been a long time since I've had any feelings about what season I'm in. I'm in late fall and the christmas lights will soon be going up over in the valley and along the streets behind me and then I will be sitting here looking at the christmas card scenes of falling snow on a white landscape with lit windows showing warm people in the kitchen or in the living room snug as bugs in rugs.

    When the leaves come down as they have and the air is crisp, I can hear the train whistles where the tracks are about a mile away. I love that sound. It penetrates my bones the way a loon call does on a still lake at dusk.

    I'm sitting here watching the light fade in the warm glow of my loved banker's lamp with it's green ceramic shade drinking coffee and about to go down into the kitchen to start dinner. Chicken meatballs in an alredo sauce with mushrooms added on white rice. Also a tiny chickenburger for the cats without seasonings. Then we'll be watching television in the tiny den all feasting on natures bounty and my brilliant cooking and we'll be the people - well, person - in the window all warm and snug

    Already we're down to a few strands of light streaked across the sky which is now a very deep azure blue with touches of slight turquoise in the bands. Hundreds of miles to the west, the sun is setting for anyone in that narrow band of transition from the lit side of earth pointing towards the sun, and the dark side of earth sitting in it's own shadow. As I type, the sun is rising in Bejing, the start of a new day.

    The truth, of course is it's all one long, continuous day where spinning around once doesn't make it a different day - it just makes it later in the one big day called eternity. Living on a space station like the ISS for a year teaches you that, I'm sure. It teaches you that time is continuous and only people who live on a spinning planet think it's a different day after a spin on the dance floor.

    Personally, I think all world leaders should spend a month on the ISS first. I doubt anybody who's watched the big blue marble from there for a month will ever think the same and I mean in a good way.

    It's night now. The tree is gone and the clouds are gone because being in our own shadow without the moon reflecting sunlight back, is a dark experience. I guess that's why they call it night. Time to make dinner.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2017
     
    Mmmmmm. Thankyou Wolf.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeDec 3rd 2017
     
    Hello. I am sitting on the end of the dock getting to know our new friend Samantha. This is nice huh? We have a super moon so I keep hearing Cat Stevens' "Moonshadow" in my head. Let me run up to the cottage and put that record on. I wonder if Rodstar can land his seaplane in the moonlight? If Lindylou stops by we could build a.fire.and have S'mores. F you hear a snore in the background, don't panic. It is just Wolf wrapped up in that hammock again. If it gets too loud we will wake him up to come tell stories about the man in then moon. I wonder if easttexaskitten will stop by too.
    Has anyone heard from Mim? I know sometimes she hides out. I'm getting cncermed about her again.
  2.  
    I have not heard from Mim, but sent her an email today. Just stopped in the Cottage for a minute to make sure the dishes are done and the beds are made up with fresh linen. Checked the milk and bread--all fresh and good as usual in this magic place. The canoes are pulled up far enough on shore, turned over and tied to trees--I think they'll be OK like that. Did not see anyone from our group, but there are a couple of gray squirrels chasing each other through the trees, and a big, red-shouldered hawk circling overhead going "Mreeeee-mreeeee-mreeee." Blue skies, a few puffy clouds in the sunlight, russet leaves. I can see why everybody comes here.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2017
     
    Been thinking a lot about Mim too, Elizabeth. Mim, if you stop by, just know that we love you.

    Thanks, Elizabeth, for checking on things. :)
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2017
     
    Elizabeth, I'm glad you sent Mim an email. She's been on my mind a lot, too, and in my prayers. Love you, Min.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2017
     
    Ever hear from Mim?
  3.  
    No, not a word. She was not well enough to get together when I was in Ohio last month. Worrying, to say the least.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2017
     
    I think of her often.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2017
     
    No problem landing a float plane in the dark with one of those special night vision night goggles. It is a beautiful ride.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2017
     
    Hi Rodstar. That was some landing. Beautiful to watch. Now we can sit at the end of the dock in the adirondack chairs and gaze at the stars. Listen to the crickets. There's an owl up there. It is so wonderful when they fly by so silently. Nice to see you here.
    • CommentAuthorNicky
    • CommentTimeDec 27th 2017
     
    ttt
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2018
     
    ttt
  4.  
    Well folks, it won't be long until we can all meet at the cottage on the lake. I am now in Florida and it has been cold, cold, and colder for the 2 weeks I have been here. Still wearing my long pants and sweaters. My bathing suit hasn't even been out of the car. Maybe I can get some sun at our "Cottage on the Lake". See you there soon.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2018
     
    Hope there is clear skies as we will be landing on the lake soon. It is BBQ time!
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2018
     
    Rodstar, I've lit the fire pit, so you can get your bearings. I think I see you coming in for a landing.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2018
     
    I think we should have a toast to Mim and wish on a falling star for her. She liked it here.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2018
     
    Got a cooler full of champagne, both kinds. Enough to toast Mim several times.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2018
     
    To Mim, to all who have walked this journey, to all who continue to do so. Peace.
  5.  
    To Mim--Heaven is a nicer place with you up there.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2018
     
    I heard Mim is watching over the place and has outlawed unwanted weather. Does anybody know how old she was? That will tell me how many light years I have to travel out to catch up with that moment SHE was the little kid with the toothy grin and the spade and bucket screaming gleefully on the bit of sandy beach next door here. Never mind. Let them have their fun.

    I'm thinking about how she is gone for her family and how much her husband might or might not understand. But she's not gone. She's right there just a page back talking about how much she liked chicken rice soup and cookies and then asking if anybody wanted to spend some time with her and there were, and later saying she wasn't saying much but she appreciated it all. That was a fine epitaph.

    There may be no finer epitaph than to be remembered well. It's part of the Irish spirit to fight to celebrate life in the face of death. The wake, like other traditions, may be less common now but it's no less a good idea. The same idea that can hold for Dianne where it helped me to insist that even as I spent time mourning and feeling her loss, I also spent time telling her story and our story to the universe. It helped me to see I had no real regrets and to move on as I must, but to keep that beat alive that the amount of love, and laughter, and friendship, and arguments, and the amount of forging into one were all worth a hundred times more than the pain the disease caused us both.

    It doesn't matter how pretty it is or not. I reminded my sister today about our mother calling me complaining he was in the garage AGAIN taking the lawn mower apart AGAIN. I told her to put him on the phone and I would talk to him. "Don't do that!" she reacted, "He'll come in!" Yet, we both know our mother kept his last phone messages for years and played them over and over. I love that story because it reminds me just how tangled up we can get in our own world where we have things we really value but we don't know how to reach the appreciation of it. Talking about it would have been good for my parents...but, my sister's husband comes home for good in July and this is not going to be easy. To explain, my sister is now 68, very overweight, and has several fused discs. She's so strong, powerfully willed, and controlling, that even right now head to head with Lucifer complete with horns and forked tail or whatever else he's got - she's going to wipe the ring with what's left of him. Easy and sure money.

    The beggar becomes the rich man while the rich man becomes the beggar. A mountain of gold does not satisfy but a simple meal offered kindly does. It's almost never the subject matter as much as the convictions the subject brings to the matter. It's almost as though a conscious existence brings with it certain aspects that don't actually exist in reality - they exist within us. Some see these as tests such as of character or faith. I noted that Mim was Baptist. That might imply a belief in the sufficiency of scripture. Therefore,

    "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

    John 16-33
    King James version
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2018
     
    I love the King James Version. I heard somewhere that it is the only book written by a committee that is better than if written by a single author.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2018
     
    I see this is our group's remembrance service for Mim. So here is an elegy about crossing the sandbar between the river of life to the ocean that lies beyond.


    CROSSING THE BAR
    By Alfred, Lord Tennyson

    Sunset and evening star,
    And one clear call for me!
    And may there be no moaning of the bar,
    When I put out to sea,

    But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
    Too full for sound and foam,
    When that which drew from out the boundless deep
    Turns again home.

    Twilight and evening bell,
    And after that the dark!
    And may there be no sadness of farewell,
    When I embark;

    For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
    The flood may bear me far,
    I hope to see my Pilot face to face
    When I have crost the bar.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2018 edited
     
    Great Poem!!!!! I will see my pilot face to face, what a day that will be!!!!!!
  6.  
    Mim was 76.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeJan 26th 2018
     
    Amen and blessed be.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2018
     
    ttt
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2018
     
    We need pis of our lake.

    I have been coming in by plane but , I have been talking to scotty about A shuttle trip down to our lake, then take few earth orbits to experiment on a group of elder humans in weightlessness. Anyone here interested?
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeMar 5th 2018 edited
     
    Hi all. I just arrived and dusted and aired out the place. Then I put comfort food into the refrigerator: meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, and a roast chicken if someone wishes to pick on it. If anyone needs "virtual relaxation" the Cottage on the Lake is all set. Just want you to know that I still sense Mim's presence here. Maybe its from all the love we shared last summer and into October. Its just what we all know. Virtual friends can provide a real and healing presence in our lives that continues on.

    My breathing relaxes here, my anxiety dissipates. I've been sitting watching Canadian geese come in honking and landing on the lake not far from here. While I was dusting I found a Pachisi game and a couple of jigsaw puzzles. I spilled out the pieces of the puzzle and am working on the edges for a bit. I think it is a waterfall picture, but the box is old and I cannot tell for sure.

    Glad you've been coming by Rodstar.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeMar 5th 2018
     
    Hi Lindylou, meatloaf, mac and cheese and puzzles sounds like fun. I think I will have to come here every full moon at the very least. Just breathe.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeMar 5th 2018
     
    On St. Patdick's Day, Scotty and Bones will stop in for a visit. We can make a quick trip to visit my cousin Rod, Scotty really fixed him up. Take a short trip around the milkyway and back in time for all those good fix'ins lindhloo* ls bringing.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeMar 5th 2018
     
    Sounds like fun Rodstar. For those who don't know, Gene Roddenberry (sp?) is Rodstar's cousin.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeMar 5th 2018
     
    Wow. That's cool!
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeMar 6th 2018
     
    Tomorrow we're expecting another storm. 12-18 inches of snow or 8-10 inches, depending on which TV channel you watch. As long as we don't lose power, my cat and I are cozy with our pellet stove and flannel sheets. As soon as this storm is over, I'm heading to the lake.