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    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017
     
    Hi Wolf.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeSep 28th 2017
     
    Here goes, I have problem getting to this lake. Is it big enough to land a small plane with floats like a otter. Please let me know. I have room for -3 others. Plane holds pilot and at least 3 passengers. Let me know soon.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTimeSep 28th 2017
     
    Rodstar43. This is not so hard as you make it out to be. Of course the lake is large enough to accommodate a plane if you choose to come by plane. There are even boats that can row out to meet you and bring you ashore. I, personally, come a different way. Last time I came I took cookies and milk out of the freezer and refrigerator and clicked my heals like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, and just like that I was giving hugs, taking off my support hose and dangling my feet in the water. We'll look for your plane. And certainly every one is welcome. I might even have chosen to come by your plane, but I got here first. Maybe next time. Anyway, tell your pilot to follow the first star on the right. You'll be able to ease right in.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 28th 2017
     
    I was wondering about this all.day Rodstar. I think the.lake is long enough to land. There are hills.and mountains all around, but the crosswinds aren't too bad usually. I think this could be fun. Maybe you will take us for a ride to look at the lake from above. At our magical place there will be no mechanical problems with the plane and your gas tank will always be magically full. Follow the first star on your right as Lindylou said. Land from the North. There is an island in the southern half of the lake where we pick blueberries. If you have the island on your left, look out your right window and you should see us waving from the cottage. Isn't this fun?
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeSep 28th 2017
     
    By the way, what was th name of this lake? My GPS program works better if you have a name or coordinates of the lake. Of course all will be welcome for rides over the lake. I will even turn off the engine at times so you can enjoy the quite beauty of the lake.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTimeSep 28th 2017
     
    Ah Rodstar 43. You are already here. Love and the need for some space away from responsibility and pain has already brought you here safely. I'm coming out in this old rickety rowboat to meet you and your plane. So you can safely debark. I may be a minute because I have to fit the oarlocks in first and bail out the little water that has splashed in. As to your question about the lake's name, my guess is that each person who comes to this virtual safe place for a moment or two out of their very busy lives has a different name for this place that we call Cottage on the Lake. We've got a room waiting for you, and a bed with clean sheets if you want to nap or stay the night. Some of us now have been sitting on the dock, drinking our beverages of choice, and finishing up all the chocolate chip cookies I brought. I don't think they will be all gone by the time we get to the dock.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 28th 2017
     
    Rodstar43 I live near a lake in So CA. They do private pilot training over my house and the lake. For me it is fun when they practice.engine stalls. Some of my neighbors freak out. I have often wanted to try a.glider. I think they have some near me, but, my husband, the pilot, always.refuses. So I will.take you up on that offer for sure.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 29th 2017
     
    I think I will just wait on the dock and have the coffee hot. I couldn't sleep last night, and I just laid out in the hammock and watched the stars and remembered happy times. It was so cool, I had to borrow a blanket. It was a Texas University one,?
    • CommentAuthorMim
    • CommentTimeSep 29th 2017
     
    It's 9:30 PM right now, and I want to be where you all are. I feel so weak & tired that I can't get there on my own...can someone pick me up? I want the wine, the milk, the chocolate chip cookies (are there any left?). I probably couldn't really eat anything anyway, but it sure sounds good! I know it's supposed to be all about a break from caregiving, but at this time I guess it's more about me. Selfish? I'm tired of feeling awful, of being a "shut-in"....I need a respite from myself. (For any newbies here, it's about cancer & chemo.)I know Dan is being taken care of, kept safe, is eating plus being to walk on his own again! I hope to be able to see him in the next 2-3 days, but for now ....well,as I said, I need to be in new surroundings, be pampered a little, spoiled, if you will. Of course, I might not want to leave - ever! Anybody up to helping me out? :D
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeSep 29th 2017 edited
     
    Here I am, Mim. Let me help you into this old VW Beetle. It's just like the one I learned to drive on (including the plastic daisy taped to the antenna) except it's fitted with a device that gets us there in the blink of an eye. Ah! Here we are. Bobbie and Rodstar, have you met Mim yet? Why don't you tall sit in the Adirondack chairs and visit while I get the wine, milk, and cookies. Mim, in case you feel a chill, here's a Hudson's Bay blanket that one of our Canadian friends left here.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 29th 2017
     
    Oh goodie. Thanks for picking Mim up Myrtle. So glad she is here. We've all been wondering how our Mim is doing! Cuddle up in that soft blanket. How about a foot rub? Listen to the crickets. It is very dark over here but the stars are.twinkling above and the village lights are especially bright this time of year. Look, there is a shooting star. We can all wish the same thing - that the chemo conquers that cancer.for Mim.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTimeSep 29th 2017
     
    Ah, Mim, so really good to see you. I brought more cookies (I baked a storm last week). They will go down easy here at the cottage. I also brought another pitcher of milk as well as two mugs of warmed milk, should you want one. The other mug is for me. I see Myrtle has brought milk too as well as wine. Let us all coddle you. So glad Myrtle was able to pick you up. I wondered whose VW that was parked out back. Mim this is a healing place, no rules for what or why we need healing. The dark is so peaceful tonight. Not a ripple on the lake.
  1.  
    Just got here, Mim. Hope you had a good rest last night. I brought several soft pillows for you to get comfortable with--have down/feather, and also down alternative--so your choice. I will make you some coffee and breakfast if you have not eaten yet. I can do an herb omelette with a little good cheese on it, some wholegrain toast with real butter and English marmalade...or if you're not up to that, I've brought some great home-made biscotti that I get from my neighbor--better than anything store-bought. Let me know if you would rather have tea than coffee.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 30th 2017
     
    No I haven't met Mim. Glad we get to visit. Sometimes the load get so heavy, we need to get away. That's why I'm here today. Did anyone watch "America's got talent". My husband would never watch it, but I watched it all last season and got hooked on it. He is in residence and happy watching Rifleman. It's os good to have some "me" time. Bobbie
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeSep 30th 2017
     
    I'm glad to finally meet Mim, too, although I feel like I already know her. I think I'd just like to sit beside you, Min, no words necessary. Just want to be with you and share the peace of understanding. Much love being sent your way.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2017
     
    I woke up this morning thinking about you, Mim. I brought over my new Instant Pot. I plopped in some carrots, celery,.and onions. Then put in a whole chicken on the steaming rack. Closed it up, pressed a button and let's go down to the lake. I brought one of those low beach chairs. I know, we will have a bit of difficulty getting up, but let's cross that bridge later. I will sit in the.chair. You sit in front of me and lean back with your head on my shoulder. Feel the warmth on your back? There is dappled sunshine and shade.so the temp is perfect. Remember, it is always summer here so the water.is warm on our toes. Listen to the gentle.waves lapping at the shore. The song sparrows are back and adding their voices to the finches choir in the bushes. Look the Thrasher just hopped up on a post on the dock. Wait for it. There she goes. This is an aria fit for an opera house dontcha think?

    Don't worry about the chicken. It will.switch to keep.warm when it finishes. Then I will, strip the chicken and make some soup. Do you prefer noodles or rice? This chicken melts in your mouth. I hope the nausea isn't too bad today, or that you can just savor the flavor.

    A little while ago Wolf was.talking about chicken noodle soup on the widowers thread. I know, I am not a widow yet. I peeked because I like Wolf so much, was wondering how he was doing. Like Elizabeth, sounds like he is finding his new self in the AFTER. Sounds like a more confident self. That makes me happy. Anyway.he discovered the sheer joy of chicken noodle soup made from scratch. So let's have a mug of soup out on the porch.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2017
     
    Guess what I'm making this very moment. Home made chicken noodle soup. I was standing there in the supermarket with the six dollar whole chicken in my hand thinking I can do this. I've looked at at least twenty videos and I've pretty much decided how I'm going to make my first roast chicken; but, then I thought why am I in a rush?

    It's correct that I'm feeling more confident. It's not correct that I now feel confident about my life. You're right to feel happy for me though, and thanks very much, because even though I can't suddenly play the piano or suddenly be happy, the hardship of those years and what all that did to me was serious, and feeling that I'm finally past most of that is priceless.

    There is no joy in mudville around here where it would be hard to find losing your life partner and starting over late in life, being on anyone's christmas wish list. I don't just have a right to complain; I have a duty to complain, because if I don't then I'm not healthy enough to get that no one deserves this - including me.

    I've done a thought experiment that Dianne and I meet afterwards and she starts complaining about what I did and didn't do. That would be outrageous. Not the Dianne that had a few pieces left like looking through a kaleidoscope to see the exam you're supposed to pass - not that Dianne, but the real one. That Dianne would be doing the opposite of complaining I have zero doubt because all I have to do is think about it being reversed and watching her hanging on trying to support us in this madness and watching her reeling afterwards trying just to stop hurting for a while - nosiree, I can guarantee that complaining is the last thing on any 'returned to normal' spouse's mind.

    I've just turned off the chicken soup. Noodling is apparently an artform. I've learned though that I like lots of noodles. So many that most people would think there are WAY too many noodles in there; but, for me, it's just right.

    Ultimately, the cottage on the lake can apply anywhere and I'm not asking why I'm now consumed by consomme, I'm just following the rabbit down the hole. He says he's serving tea later, but I'm not holding my breath. He's mad as a hatter and besides, I read the story.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2017
     
    I think I am coming to the cottage later---even tho I don't like to drive at night anymore. My DH and I spent the morning at the funeral of a 33 year old young man, dead of a sudden heart attach. Grandson of good friends. The ending of this life, or way of life, is so hard--but he hardly got to start. Left a wife and 4 small children. I am so grateful for the many years we had---the good years. My DH was so determined to go and then kept asking me who was in the casket.
    I need some good friends and hot coffee.
  2.  
    Don't worry about driving in the dark--we'll send the magical flying car to pick you up. The hot coffee will be waiting for you. : D
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2017
     
    Hi there Bobbie. What.a.tough day. Reminds me of the last funeral I took.DH.to. one of his favorite pilots. As Grid was giving the eulogy and telling stories a C17 flew over and DH turned to me pointing at the sky.with a.big smile saying "look at that one". Only a.few of them knew he has alzheimers. Must have thought it was a bit weird.

    Wolf, in the 70s my favorite night club was."The Mad Hatter" out in the Hamptons on Long Island.Earth Wind and Fire played there before they got to the big time. And I totally agree.about the noodling being an artform.I like a lot too. You would think there can't be.too many, but there.is a.very.fine line.
    That thought experiment is interesting. Hmmmm. I wonder. Tomorrow is our 35th wedding anniversary. I have been feeling a bit more empathy the last few.days. I think I will try making some brownies for a.treat. And bbq steaks and twice baked potatoes. I can do the steaks now, and.found a way to make a not too bad twice baked lactose free potato. I really miss all the cheese we used to put in them, but my last attempt was ok.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeOct 7th 2017
     
    are you having the steaks at the cabin or at home DH keeps wanting a barbqued t-bone. The small grill we ordered, before his stroke, is still half put together. I think I will stop at Western Grill on the way home and buy him one. I'll be so relaxed after the visit. The water is still warm, right?
    Do we have a magic time machine or not. Wouldn't just one happy day "before alz" be wonderful-----if we could pick the right day.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeOct 7th 2017
     
    What a wonderful idea, Bobbie. There were so many, it's hard to choose. In thinking about them, they were all so ordinary at the time, but full of contentment. Just at home, him upstairs writing in his study, me downstairs writng in mine, me calling up stairs to ask a question about grammar. He always knew. He had taken Latin in high school from a Miss Lawrence, and he always knew the answer, even through most of his Alzheimer's. Later he would come down for coffee, often with a book he thought I'd like to read.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeOct 7th 2017
     
    we'll invent one. And each share our special day. Like you say, Mary 75, just ordinary. So many (unappreciated at the time) days, that was just life. We could do reruns of the old I Love Lucy shows. It's so much more fun to laugh with someone.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 7th 2017
     
    bobbie, I know what you mean about having just one pre-Alz day. The one mary75* described was perfect. I don't know which one I'd choose so instead I'll share a poem that Garrison Keillor read this morning on his radio show, "The Writer's Almanac."

    Elegy
    by Linda Pastan

    Our final dogwood leans
    over the forest floor
    offering berries
    to the birds, the squirrels.
    It’s a relic
    of the days when dogwoods
    flourished—creamy lace in April,
    spilled milk in May—
    their beauty delicate
    but commonplace.
    When I took for granted
    that the world would remain
    as it was, and I
    would remain with it.
  3.  
    myrtle*, thank you for posting the poem. It is beautiful. If we were neighbors we might convene once in a while for an afternoon of poetry and tea.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeOct 7th 2017
     
    I'll join the group. What a beautiful poem and so true. Why do we take so much for granted? makes me sad.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 7th 2017 edited
     
    Yes, marche, that would be nice. We could sit in the shed and talk about where on the wall I should write the verse, "Sweet are the uses of adversity . . ." Bobbie, you could bring your 14-year-old cat, Lucy, who might teach my 6-year-old cat, Lucy, some manners. My Lucy is a redhead, and she has some 'splainin' to do!
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2017
     
    Lucy has no good manners. All she knows is "obey me, owner". Does your cat need that. What amazes me she was born a feral cat and we turned her into a spoiled, sensitive stomach, indoor cat.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    Hi all. It was getting a little lonely at home. Thought I would slide down here to the cottage, and start a campfire. While it is always summer here, it is cool enough to need a sweater tonight. I have the makings for s'mores. I'm hoping maybe bhv will be by shortly. And maybe Mim and others?
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTime7 days ago
     
    Hello dear friend. S'mores sound terrific. I'll be back after supper. A few days ago I made some chicken soup for Mim but haven't heard.from her. Am very concerned. We'd have no way to know if something happened.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTime7 days ago edited
     
    Hi lindylou. So glad you're back and that you had the great comfort of visits with your son and daughter-in-law. It's a cool night, so we'll need the campfire.
  4.  
    Are there any S'mores left? I sure would like one (or two). I haven't been at the cottage for a while but have been reading about all the nice relaxing things that are happening there. I agree that the campfire will feel just right tonight. I'll be along in a few minutes.
    • CommentAuthorMim
    • CommentTime6 days ago
     
    bhv, I know it's been a long time communicating, but I know you all understand. I've been thinking about chicken rice soup lately, it just sounds so good to me, with the carrots & onions....yum. I mostly can eat soups right now, not too much else goes down very well, but a taste of Lindylou's smores might hit the spot too! Thanks for thinking of me....just give me a comfy bed at the end of the day (or for any part of the day, for that matter!) & the fresh, peaceful air might rejuvenate my mind a little. Sometimes I think it must be completely gone! I've had my wristwatch set aside for a new battery, then found the receipt for the new battery I had put in two weeks ago! I had completely forgotten that, & never thought to look at the watch!!!! Do you think I should move in with Dan? :D :D
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTime6 days ago
     
    I was just in the kitchen and brought you some of bhv's soup, Mim. I had some earlier and it slid down so warm and delicious. Comfort food it is. If you are still hungry afterwards we can all make some more s'mores. It is so dark and peaceful here, just the whisper of a breeze in the pines and the fire is glowing red embers. I'll toss another log on in a few minutes.

    Don't think you have to worry about the battery either, Mim. You just filed the purchase under miscellaneous and forgot it. We all do that all the time. Glad you are here. Glad you are here too, Mary. Nice thing about a camp fire is you can sit in the dark, stare at the fire, and visit without saying anything. Love you all.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTime5 days ago
     
    Yes.
    Hi Mim. You can still find a.smile :D or.even two :D :D
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTime5 days ago
     
    Sounds like my club, Mim. I have misplace my health insurance card. I was wondering if I ought to get a second bed in the care center. But I'de
    rather come to the cottage. Lets get a quilt and sit by the fire a little longer. I brought some new oreo's. Peanut butter filling and I'll bring them.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTime5 days ago
     
    Any ice cream will do!!!!!
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTime5 days ago
     
    Hi Rodstar43, there are several flavors in the freezer in the kitchen. Call out your favorite and I bet we'll have it. Haven't had ice-cream in over a month, lost my taste for it, but it sounds good right about now. I keep sliding by the cottage cuz it is so dang lonely at home. The quiet is different here somehow.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTime4 days ago
     
    Strawberry. with vanilla Blue Bell please
    • CommentAuthorMim
    • CommentTime3 days ago
     
    Not commenting much again, but I appreciate all of you so much!!
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTime2 days ago
     
    Swiss Mocha for me. I haven't seen that flavor in many years. I did find another favorite, Orange Pineapple, at a small general store in the country and I ordered the softball size. Mostly Orange with a little Pineapple. Just incredible. Tastes like a creamsicle. You have to lick like an olympic athlete in a long sprint because if you fall off the pace, that softball sized ball of ice cream, on a hot summer day, melts faster than the wicked witch of the west.

    You need olympic skills like the 300 degree swirl. That's where you put your tongue on the cone and turn the cone virtually all the way around on it. I can see the advantages of discovering fire and I get the Mona Lisa and Einstein - but the best thing, the most hopeful things humans have done is invent ice cream. That genius, I'm just going to guess, was not a man in the kitchen - but a woman looking to shut up the midgets with a treat. Good name too. Ice and cream and churn - ice cream. Food of the gods and if it isn't, something's not right.

    On the first day the universe was a void and God said let there be peanut butter fudge swirl and blueberry cheesecake and rocky road and let these flavors be made into an ice cream, because you can teach a man how to fish but who wants fish all the time? Let there be Raspberry Ripple and even Tutti Fruity because who are we to judge what is delicious? Pistachio orange mango sherbet. I just made that up. Goes well in a tall glass with Grand Marnier instead of ice. I'm just saying.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTime2 days ago
     
    If I remember correctly, this cottage is on a lake in New England, a region whose inhabitants are reputed to consume more ice cream per capita than in any other part of the USA. This fixation with ice cream at the cottage cannot be a coincidence!
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTime1 day ago
     
    Swiss mocha coming to you in a heartbeat, Wolf. And, if I may add to Myrtle's comments about New England ice cream, New England is the only place that you can count on always finding coffee ice-cream, which is the best flavor of all in my mind. Although, Wolf, your list has made my mouth tingle. Next time I buy a cone I might look for orange pineapple.

    I've been here at the cottage a lot, grieving for two deaths. The loss of my partner was expected. The abrupt loss of her family was not. I'm not saying a lot. I'm not needing to. Just allowing sorrow to find its place in me., Anger, I think, is almost finished with me. At least I hope it is. It does keep coming around and bothering me some. But not so much here, where I can pick the blueberries, canoe along the shore, and sit quietly with my friends eating ice-cream, watching the dragonflies by day and the fireflies in the night.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTime1 day ago
     
    I love vanilla with hot coffee poured over it. You know at the cottage, calories don't count. I'm wondering, would coffee and lots of ice cream count as a healthy
    breakfast. They tell me ice cream is a comfort food and we need comfort now.

    Went to an alz care meeting yesterday and enjoyed it. A new member, who shared and we sat and cried with her. Her parents, and her son (33) is dying from stomach
    cancer. Could we sit in a circle around the fire and just hold hands. I miss the physical comfort from my DH. We don't have much anymore. Guess that is more
    my fault than his.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTime1 day ago
     
    It's not your fault at all that there's no physical comfort, bobbie. It's not his fault either.

    Strawberry short cake:

    Cheap golden loaf. It's sold everywhere in North America.
    Vanilla ice cream.
    Strawberry jam.

    Cut the right size slice of golden loaf. Put on the right amount of vanilla ice cream. Swirl around the right amount of strawberry jam all over it. Try to fish out a couple of strawberries from the jam jar for this.

    You can also drizzle the strawberrry jam right on the golden loaf and add the ice cream on top of that.

    Optional: Anger Management Topping

    Shell a few peanuts and take out any dark ones. Put them in some folded paper or plastic wrap, get a hammer or meat tenderizer and break down the peanuts by smashing them into bits with an appropriate amount of force. Fish out any larger pieces you don't want and sprinkle the strawberry short cake with crushed peanut topping.

    I can go to town on this.

    Chocolate loaf cake, orange marmalade, vanilla ice cream, and hot coffee. The orange marmalade is spread on the chocolate loaf slice and the hot coffee is drizzled on the whole thing. You drink the rest of the coffee with dessert. Try pouring some coffee into a measuring cup which almost always has a spout to control the amount of coffee drizzled.

    Cinnamon muffins, sliced in half, fresh blueberries or any fruit, ice cream. Crushed peanuts work with any of these.

    For the really sweet tooth, buy a box of smarties or a handful of candied nuts and use the anger management technique to make the sprinkled topping.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTime1 day ago
     
    Wolf, I know it's not either our fault. It's just a fact.

    Blue Bell cherry vanilla ice cream, pour choc. shell over that and cover with chopped pecans. Anybody remember the cherry crush candy? This is a lot like that. Total comfort.
    Probable 9:00pm is a little late, but here at the cottage does it matter. I'm on my way.......
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTime1 day ago
     
    It is a fact bobbie, and for now no one can fill that void untill we heal. Recently, I again realized this as hugging my daughter and DIL just does not fill that void. Even the physical touch of our dear one does not satify. So, here we are hanging on doing the best we can. At least we can feel that the group on this forum understands. Does anyone else feel this way?
  5.  
    I was born and raised in New England (southern NH) and we used to make our own Ice cream in an old fashioned hand cranked churn. Not as many flavors as Wolf likes but we flavored it with fresh local berries or Chocolate (my favorite). I think I still have that churn. Shall I bring it to the cottage? I'm sure we could get some fresh cream from a local farmer.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTime7 hours ago
     
    Oh please do MaryinPA, Nothing is better than home made ice cream, with real cream. I get to lick the dasher.

    Rodstar43, do you really think we will ever heal? Thank goodness for this group that can and does understand. Isn't it good that some days are better than others.
    DH calls the care center the jail---well tonight it was correctional center, for him. He needed to get me straightened out about a few things. So I can hope
    for a better day tomorrow.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTime6 hours ago
     
    Oh do bring the churn, Mary. I've never seen one. But I'll be glad to take my turn cranking it.

    And yes, bobbie, we will heal. We will all help each other. I enjoyed holding hands the other night here at the lake. It is part of that rope that is thrown out to us on this page when we need it. We hold on tight and we are not alone. We will heal.