Not signed in (Sign In)

Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2017
     
    Several nights ago I came by, Myrtle, just as you were squeaking the porch door to sleep on the cot. I didn't say anything then, I just needed to be alone with the water and the stars.

    Now I'm back again because I don't want to think about decisions just now. Decisions will just have to wait until I get back home. I'm sliding the canoe out and taking it to the shallows on the other side of the lake. Sometimes its called the Stumpies. And I'm going to see how close I can sneak up on the snapping turtles before they slide off their logs and into the water. And I'm going to take the crumbs from my sandwich and feed them to the bluegills. And then I'm going to tie a rope to a stump, and lie on the bottom of the canoe with a pillow and let it just rock me back and forth. I'll look up at the pattern of leaves and sun. And just rest. In a very safe place.
  1.  
    Good night, Lindylou. I hope you can get a good rest while the canoe is rocking.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2017
     
    All.weekend I kept wanting to come here and say "psssst, Lindylou, are you here? Maybe hiding in the canoe?" I couldn't get you and your partner out of my mind, but didn't want to interrupt. I am sittting at the end of the dock with two glasses of wine for when things quiet down at your house and you just want a quiet shoulder to lean on.

    Rodstar43, here is our cottage. There is a dock with a gazebo. There is a canoe we can paddle to the island and go blueberry picking. Poke your head in the kitchen and there will.be some kind of treat left for us or pitchers of lemonade and iced tea. There is a screened porch suitable for sleeping, although mosquitoes are not allowed here. Lindylou brought a grill so we can have a cookout any time it might please us. There are paths through the woods where the trees form a canopy above our heads and the dirt paths are so soft we can walk barefoot.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2017
     
    Ah, bhv, I have just a few precious moments right now. I'll soak my feet in the water and have that glass of wine. Thank you for waiting for me here.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2017
     
    bhv, my turn to pour two glasses of wine and save one for you down on the dock. You are beaten up and I am utterly exhausted. We don't have to talk, just sit side by side on the Adirondack chairs watching dusk fall over the lake. It is peaceful here. Can you hear the whip poor will?
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2017
     
    Oh Lindylou, thank you. I haven't heard the whip poor will in ever so long. How astonishingly nice!
    I am a bit worried about Wolf. I think he needs to come here right now and have a whiskey with us. I am so upset, I have been adding a bit of coke to my whiskey. Feeling guilty for drinking so much today, but feeling peaceful right now. FINALLY.
    I know I am 3,000 or more miles away from you and Wolf, but I feel like we are friends. I feel like there is a hole in the universe now with your partner gone. I am thinking I would have felt something similar when Wolf lost his Diane. I feel a little lost cause I never knew a love like that. But it makes me very pleased that such a love does actually exist! I can't thank you enough for sharing that! Lindylou, tears are streaming down my face. I am so happy you are here. I hope Wolf and Mim come by tonight.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2017
     
    Lindylou, my thoughts are with you. When I first tried to visit here, I didn't understand. Now I do. May I come sit with you. I want to sit on the dock at sunset and put my my feet in the water. What happens if I splash water on you, i'm apt to do that
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2017
     
    Hi bobbie. We don't mind if you splash. Glad you are here. You.aren't from Florida are you? I have a friend (of a friend) named Bobbie whose husband has Alzheimer's, in Spring Hill, FL
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2017
     
    You just might get splashed back, Bobbie. Welcome to a peaceful place far from all worries. And bring these peaceful feelings back with you when you have to leave. So glad to see you. Sunsets here are beautiful.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2017
     
    bhv, I'm sorry I wasn't there two days ago. I would have popped by.

    bobbie, I'm glad. It's just like opening up to reading a story except you're in the story and you're writing it. At least, that's how I look at it.

    Also, please don't splash any water on the body in the hammock because that belongs to me and if cold water suddenly and mysteriously splashed down on me, I could easily get twisted up in here like a cottage roll.

    With a little luck, what Lindylou is going through won't forever change her access to the fact that these places are here; they are always here; and they aren't weak or fragile, they're powerful and strong which is evidenced and has always been evidenced by this place, the lodge, the parties we had, the travelling pajamas, the eagles we watch, the jokes Don tells, Phranque, Operation Petticoat (Charlotte), and an endless host of specific examples that even while we turn on the spit and our liver is pecked out every day - we look for something good.

    I'm laying here imagining being the alien who was sent to earth to investigate them and is now reporting back:

    "Well they like a good laugh."
    "A what??"
    "They make their bodies shake and make appropriate sounds."
    "Why do they do that?"
    "Because something is funny."
    "Is that what you called their humour?"
    "No. Humour is what they called bodily fluid.
    "I'm don't understand what you're saying."
    "That might have been considered funny."
    "What was?"
    ...and so on.

    Of course it wouldn't be like that. Whatever's going on, it's not just going on here. We can argue about how or why it is, but there's no denying the rocks like stepping out. Aliens may not get our humor but I'm pretty sure they have a sense of it.

    I never lost Dianne. She's in the living room. She just doesn't do much these days although her very real and very right now pension comes in every month. Keep up the good work. And it's not like that anyway. We love talking like surfers on the now wave experiencing reality happening to us and there's no denying that hypnotizing aspect. A greater truth is that all of the experience we learn from is in the past because it has to have happened already to be experience. Why would this be any different? I'm still learning about us. I'm just slow.

    It's time to come out of the hammock, and in less than a blink that thought is in the past.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2017
     
    Hi Lindylou. Please consider banning winter from the cottage on the lake. Endless summer would be good.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2017
     
    You know, Wolf, I was thinking that Columbus Day (AKA Indigenous Peoples' Day) was coming up and we would have to shut off the water and lock up. But, if we ban winter............................? We could canoe any time we wanted. We could dangle our feet in the water and splash a few drops on each other as we sip a glass of wine together at sunset.

    When we need winter there is the Christmas lodge and we can let our tears freeze in the corners of our eyes. When we need summer we can soak in the sun on an old inner tube, and read dusty old books from the book shelf. What do you say all?

    Wolf, so very nice to see you. If I should do a "cannon ball" I'll do it from the far side of the dock and nary a splash will hit you. Don't want you tangled in that hammock. :)
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2017
     
    Nice to be a guest. Not from Florida, I am from dry West Texas. That is why I like visiting a cottage on the lake so much. What kind of pajamas do we need to bring? I don't have see thru ones, and I would love to sit out at night. I love winter, so tell me about the Christmas cottage.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2017
     
    Any PJs will do.
    Wolf and Lindylou, I totally agree we should ban winter at the cottage on the lake. It should always be warm enough to go swimming, canoeing, pick blueberries, or just sit on the dock with our feet in the water.
    Oh Bobbie.... the Christmas Lodge is sooooo magical. I barely survived last Christmas and would not have got through the holiday season at all, at all, if not for the lodge. Can hardly wait. You can find it if you use the search tab. But I think we will all find our way there sometime in November. I tried to describe it to a friend from the real (non alzheimer) world and her eyes got real.wide and she said how do you find a place like that? I believe Wolf created it, but so many of us have chimed in to add details and fun.
    It is always winter there. I went there in the middle of the summer because I needed some alone time. I went skating even though in the real.world it was 110 degrees.in the shade! What fun.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 16th 2017
     
    Sounds good to me. I'll bring my crochet and you can help me with the magic loop.

    Will you be taking a bus from the lake to the Christmas Cottage. I can usually manage to get lost.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2017
     
    Bobbie,

    When I saw that christmas was harder to get through for many, I invented the christmas lodge as a place that isn't about christmas, it's just that it's open then. The main theme is a huge rambling lodge that always has a fire going in the large fireplace and plenty of comfortable chairs to lounge in, a large kitchen which guests are welcome to take over, and last year I added two heavy horses and took those who wanted on a sleigh ride through the winter night wrapped in blankets with hot cider or mulled wine. Daisy was one of the names of the horses but I can't remember the other one. Someone else invented a skating party. Some else made something in the kitchen and told everyone they could have some. Two rules: no calories and your room is always ready.

    When Lindylou wanted the cottage by the lake she referred to that lodge and asked me about this. Myrtle jumped in and created this thread for her, and as we can see, it has it's own life now.

    I believe they're meant to be the same thing. A place for us to mentally get away and put our feet up for a bit, to which we already belong. We all have a bond by life experience and there is little need to explain that because we all already know.

    Ultimately we learn to authorize a moment and, if we do, then we've experienced that moment in a way not dissimilar to enjoying a moment in a book we might be reading or a movie we might be watching. Whatever else, they're meant to be a safe place with people we share this journey with to put our feet up for a little while.

    We might participate, we might watch, we might know they're here, or we might think it's a foreign thing. It's all about self authorization which is a skill we'll need and a diversion we may need now. Change need to want.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2017
     
    I want no fear and no danger at the cottage. I want to put on my old lady swim suit and go swimming at night. Just to float in the dark water and sky, looking at the stars No snapping turtles,no snakes-----just beauty and safety. No decisions, no questions, just beauty and rest.
  2.  
    Beauty, peace, rest, joy...and all good things.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2017 edited
     
    That's it exactly Wolf and Bobbie. There are no dangers allowed.
    I am still chuckling about taking the bus from the lake to the lodge. In my mind I go for a walk here at my southern calif house and turn the corner and poof! There's the lodge or the cottage. It's kind of like tapping your heels together in your.sparkling red shoes.
    Wolf you captured the sense of magic. I kept wondering why reading a new book doesn't create the same sense of magic. The key is here the people know what THIS is like and we don't have to explain. We are not judged. There are no snapping turtles. No mosquitoes. No noisy motorboats. No spouses offering to harm us. No spouses demanding anything.
    I forgot to tell Bobbie about the horses. Yeah. They.were a wonderful diversion last winter. It was funny that we had to wait until Daisy was in the mood for a.sleigh ride. She had a definite personality.

    I think another reason the cottage and the lodge and the monthly threads work so well for us is we don't have to ask a question to talk to each other. I mean every day is so similar to the last, only more boring which you don't think can possibly be true.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2017
     
    Thought I might see some of you guys here, and I was right. No snakes, no snappers, Bobbi, just a bull frog croaking off and on, and a whip poor will singing in the early evening, and occasional fish jumping in the water and making a splash. I feel tonight like being mesmerized by a small bonfire on the beach so I've dragged a few chairs over and set up the wood for later. Bring what you want if you want to come. I'm bringing marshmallows, mostly for the chance to use skill in toasting them just tan enough to melt with no char on them. Any and all are welcome. I've been sleeping a lot. Its nice to come here and collect myself. Taking a swim now.
  3.  
    I imagine the crickets are chirping in the background. Enjoy the cottage tonight, everyone!
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2017
     
    Who put up the nice steps, with thehand rail? Was that Wolf. I hadn't noticed them, but it is so nice to walk slowly into the water and then just float. As handy as BHV has gotten maybe she built them.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2017
     
    Sitting on the dock with my support hose off and dangling my feet in the water. Only hearing a few cicadas. This is a safe place, a place to rest before tomorrow in the other world arrives.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2017
     
    Lindylou I am here with you I am not sure what you need right now. Perhaps just to be together. Do you have someone there with you? I am 3 hours earlier than you are. Do you.want to call? Probably not. I think we should just sit here. I feel like tears should be streaming down my face. I am having difficulty breathing with worry for you. But no tears. Too disappointed in human beings. But thankfully there are some human beings.like you and your partner and I am honored to know and care for you both.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2017
     
    Just sit beside me for a time, bhv, as my son and his wife did this morning, and one of my brothers did this afternoon. I am surrounded by love. I am blessed. It is just that I hurt so much. I will sleep tonight surrounded by the love of generous folks who know how to reach out and lend a helping hand. Sometime it would be really cool to meet you bhv. As I have met Myrtle. But right now, you are as real and caring to me as anyone I know. Thank you for generosity even in the face of all you deal with.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2017
     
    I am relieved. I am glad you have brothers. I love my brothers. I will sit with you.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2017 edited
     
    Lindylou, I just put fresh sheets on the bed in the second floor room that overlooks the lake. Climb right in when you feel like it. i plugged a nightlight in so you won't be scared if you wake up. Bhv will be guarding the place all night so unwanted in-laws will not be able to get in and create more chaos. Our other friends will be here in the morning. Sleep tight.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2017
     
    This is so bad, it's evil. I've joined the others to sit with you. The love we all feel for you and your partner will help overcome help overcome the darkness.
  4.  
    Yes, I am here now. I am guarding you, too, with the others. Sleep, Lindylou. We are right here.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 25th 2017
     
    I am sitting beside you, have my feet in the water---not knowing what to say. Just sitting in support. Sorry you are hurting.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeSep 25th 2017
     
    Why doesn't anyone who cares to join me for dinner at the cottage tonight?

    I've made a massive garden salad and a huge bowl of potato salad. Maybe somebody else can add to that on short notice. There are a few platters of cold cuts and relishes and some fresh buns, lettuce, and tomatoes to slice.

    The main event is off the grill where I have two large flank steaks marinated in soy sauce, honey and garlic, and cut into long thin strips. Several racks of back ribs done in a mild BBQ sauce (hot sauces are on the picnic table), and a dozen trimmed chicken breasts for those that just want to eat light or make a chicken sandwich. There are also a couple of veggie burgers in the freezer we can throw on in a jiffy.

    There are several chilled whites and a couple or red wines on the picnic table. There's also some chilled juice drinks and iced water. Coffee is also brewing. Help yourself. We've all earned it.

    I'll be easy to recognize. I'm coming dressed up as the Swedish chef on Sesame Street. It's a hot costume and I can't see through the eye holes that well plus I can't eat with it on so I just changed my mind. I'll be easy to recognize. I'll be the guy in the Hawaiian shirt.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 25th 2017
     
    I'll be there in a heart beat. I have five dozen eggs and I can turn as many as we need into deviled eggs. Was planning to make deviled eggs on Friday when I was waylaid. I'll just slip them out of my refrigerator. Its a perfect day outside.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeSep 25th 2017
     
    Deviled eggs. Great idea. And a perfect night to look out over the lake and wonder how it could possibly be that there is such a thing as a lake and a swim and even a potato salad. There's a lot left out in scripture. Let there be deviled eggs and potato salad and fried chicken even and let the people sit by the lake and eat of it and look out over the world - and realize we haven't a frigging clue. Not meant to. More salad?

    Looking up at the night sky I know that most every tiny smudge I see is probably a nebulae inside the milky way. Most nebulae are star nurseries because one can never have too many stars I guess. My concern isn't so much why that is as it is to discover a way fresh lobster rolls in fresh baked buns can find their way into my life. My life is utterly devoid of lobster rolls on fresh buns. I wrote a song about that once. Country and western. Never went anywhere. Never mind.

    Let me tell you a sorry tale of woe
    About my life without a lobster roll
    I'd love to get my hands on one
    Snuggled into a toasty, fresh bun
    But that's not how the dice got rolled
    That led to me to tell this tale of woe
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 25th 2017
     
    Roast chicken grease sliding down my chin, fingers covered with barbecue sauce, smiles and grunts of primal enjoyment - so glad our kind learned to use fire to cook. I may have to wash this Caribbean shirt, but I'm enjoying great food with even greater friends. And the smell of the smoke from the grill.Utter contentment and peace this moment as I let the old injuries heal, change color from blue, to yellow to gone gone gone. Wounds heal rapidly here at the Cottage on the Lake. Muscles relax, headaches disappear, and the changes will be with me when I wake in the morning. Thank you to those who watched with me yesterday. Thank you to those who chow down Wolf's barbecue. Will you have another deviled egg?
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 25th 2017
     
    What a dinner! I love deviled eggs and potato salad and flank steak. Wolf, you look great in that Hawaiian shirt. This is a great ending to a particularly annoying day. I do believe I will partake of some of that wine and lean back after dinner to gaze at the stars. After a bit more of that salad.
  5.  
    Good to stop by and see everybody--the dessert and coffee were delish! Sorry for Bandit grabbing that piece of chicken and running off with it, but I got it away from him.
    • CommentAuthorRodstar43
    • CommentTimeSep 26th 2017
     
    Y'all seem to enjoy the Idea of enjoying a good meal or remember good times. I must be too numb. I don't remember or Look forward to that. Lost sense of humor too. Long term chronic pain plus a 24/7-365 caregiver commitment has brought me to the, "why bother stage". I can find a Few things interesting but, it doesn't last long. At this point the only time I am by myself is when she is sleeping or I am waiting for another neurotomy at the hospital and the daughter-in-law or Son is with my wife. You see, unless by some miracle I'm healed, life will still be grim after DW is gone. So, in this much ramblings it is Hard to imagine good times but, yet I am driven to do what's right.
  6.  
    That is why we "go to the lake" or during the Christmas holidays, "go to the Lodge." Life is just too miserable, and of course as a caregiver you don't have any time to yourself just to relax or pursue favorite activities. Much less dealing with chronic pain, or your own illnesses. So Wolf has created these pretend places--it doesn't matter what you are doing--you could be up to your elbows in poop--or waiting for a doctor's appointment--or just stuck with watching your spouse to make sure they don't get into trouble. Whatever it is, wherever you are, you can give yourself a mental break. I'm sure to outsiders it seems silly--or crazy--but we have found it helpful over the years. I think before I came to this forum, that they all went on a "cruise" together. Some here can probably tell you about it. The name of the game is survival--whatever it takes. Hang in there Rod Star.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeSep 26th 2017
     
    There was at least one actual cruise out of Florida, two or three days I think. Bluedaze would know. From all reports, everyone loved it.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 26th 2017
     
    I am going to the lake in a few minutes. Taking coffee and cinnamon rolls and I am going to sit on the dock and put my feet in the water. I will not have to defend any decisions today. I will agree with what ever you say. And yes,I need a hug.
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeSep 26th 2017
     
    Hi Bobbie. I am here to trade a hug for a cinnamon roll for sure! Count me in. I don't even know what to talk about. I've done some searching on this forum. Can't sleep trying to even make some decisions, no less try to defend them. Let's just sit here shoulder to shoulder.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 26th 2017
     
    Hi guys, the wonderful thing about hugs is that they are reciprocal, if you give one, you'll get one back. I'll share hugs and rolls. Make room for me.
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017
     
    and we can sit and cry and laugh and not have to explain why. I'm another year older today and not a day wiser. But I need the hugs and will certainly give one back.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017
     
    Happy Birthday bobbie.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017
     
    And from me, too. September is a beautiful month to have a birthday.
    Here on the west coast of Canada,it is a mellow fall day, closer to summer than to winter.
    I imagine that at the lake, the leaves are beginning to turn yellow. When is it that the geese begin to fly south? Wolf will know. October?
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017
     
    Even in West Texas we are having a beautiful misty cool day for my birthday. Thank you for the birthday wishes/
    .
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017
     
    Happy birthday, bobbie
    • CommentAuthorbobbie
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017
     
    DH remembered my birthday, that was wonderful. My son sent flowers with a coupon for $100 off of an order of $160 worth of wine. Should I bring it?
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017 edited
     
    bobbie, bring the wine.

    Mary, in other places, like here, the geese do fly south in October but not at the cottage as I understand it. I believe it can be summer all year there. I may be wrong about that.

    I'll tell you something. It doesn't matter what gets decided. It'll be summer when I'm there even if it's shut down and covered in huge drifts of snow. Snap. Summer.

    You can succeed if you try they say where they rarely mean in your imagination and I can't imagine why I would correct them.

    Hillary Clinton's face. Hillary Clinton wearing a baseball cap. Wearing a cowboy hat. Hillary Clinton in sun glasses. Hillary Clinton singing Momma Mia and dancing. Swap out Hillary for Madonna. Put on the sun glasses. Put a cowboy hat on her. Put her on a horse. Put Ed Sullivan beside her. Have the horse talk like Mr Ed. Have Ed the horse ask Ed the host "what are we doing now?" Ed Sullivan answers, "live, on our stage, for the very first time, Ed the talking horse, and his pet bimbo." (just kidding Madonna. please don't sue me)

    Those are warm ups. Switch Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau from Grumpy Old Men into Father Goose. Switch Cary Grant into Jack Lemmon's house in Grumpy Old Men. Write the dialogue. "That's not Sophia Loren! That's a Japanese patrol boat!" and up they run to the cabin where they hear Trevor Howard on the wireless asking "Walter! Are you there?" Matthau answers saying, "Stop calling me on the set. We're making a movie here!"

    Meanwhile in Waubeshene, Wisconsin, Ann Margret is at Jack's door wanting to use his bathroom to snoop and giving back his mail she stole. Cary Grant takes the mail back with that knowing look and asks "What are you going to do next? Inspect my underwear?" To which Margaret asks, "Who are you? Where's John Gustafson?"

    Don't look at me. I'm in a hammock here.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2017
     
    The coupon or the wine? Hi, Bobbie, It is a gift that your husband remembered your birthday. I am so glad for you.I've saved a virtual shoe box of such gifts from my partner. It helped at times to remember them.

    I have brought a couple of large bags of home baked chocolate chip cookies and a couple of gallons of milk (can't have one without the other) to share. I baked all last week. Doesn't mean I won't also have a glass of your wine too. Bhv, anyone else here who would like to cookies, milk or wine? Need to tell you all that I am feeling so much better. Thank you, my friends.