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    • CommentAuthorJim
    • CommentTimeJun 10th 2017
    I have had and emotional friend (lady) for 7 years. It has now developed into something else. We meet but have not had sex. My wife is still with me physically, but as far as being a wife, Not for years. I just happened. My wife's memory is down to minutes but is still very social and can hide it well. Feel guilt but I have needs.
    • CommentTimeJun 10th 2017
    Jim,this has happened to several members on this site. The general consensus has been that people have the right to make their own decisions, as long as they are not hurting someone else. Some have regretted their decision to have sex outside of marriage. A few have gone on to marry the person after the death of their spouse. I think that an important point to consider is if you can continue to care physically and emotionally for your spouse when involved with someone else. Since you feel guilt, would it help to talk it over with your clergyman?
    Jim.........I think Mary summed it up very well. By expressing your doubts
    and concern about this, I'm sure you would not want to hurt your wife. And
    that is the all important question for you to decide.
    • CommentAuthorcassie*
    • CommentTimeJun 10th 2017
    Welcome Jim. To my mind, if your wife is well cared for and would not be hurt by the knowledge of your actions then I think that you should do whatever makes you happy.
    • CommentAuthorRona
    • CommentTimeJun 15th 2017
    Jim my wife has been in a home for just under a year. 5 months ago a met a wonderful woman and we have been in a relationship ever since. My wife when first diagnosed drilled into me that at some point she would have to be placed and I was to find somebody else and move on with my life I have done that and it is great. Do I feel guilty no. Do I care for my wife, absolutely, am I unfaithful, no I donot view it that way.

    Jim if the situation were reversed what would you want for your wife? I know I would want her to be happy and to go on with her life. Each of us have to choose our own path there is no right or wrong here there is no judgement. guilt is a useless emotion but hard not to feel it sometimes. good luck
    • CommentAuthorAmber
    • CommentTimeJun 15th 2017
    I couldn't move on until hubby mostly didn't know who I was then I could. We also had done the what if conversation years ago and we both said if something happened to the other then the other should go live their life. How ever you wanted it to be. We only get one life so live it well.

    If it's just sex you're after then that's not fair to the other woman but if your looking for companionship and someone to share your life with then yes.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2017
    Jim, As you can see, several people commented on your post here.
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2017 edited
    There is life after you have completed your task to help your mate to the finish line. I know the struggle we all face different issues on this road. Just know that life goes on. I am now in Florida and busy renting beach Condos It takes time and keep busy.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2017
    great hearing from you moorsb.
    4 months after my wife died I met a woman with whom I shared many interests. 3 months later we were talking about getting married. My kids told me to go for it, saying "you lost Mom 5 years ago". We are now having a great time with lots of traveling.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2017
    Marsh, so good to hear from you. Even more of a blessing that life is once again going well, full of lots of enjoyment.
    • CommentAuthorMim
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2017
    Good for you, Marsh. Be happy.