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    • CommentAuthorkelly5000
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    I bought concert tickets for DH and me a few months ago, two groups I really like. DH likes one of them too. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But that was before the bowel incontinence started. It's pretty bad, and I'm actually dreading going. Even though he's wearing an adult diaper, I'm afraid he'll mess and it'll smell. I'm also worried that he'll get separated from me in the crowd. He can be walking 10 steps behind me and lose track of me even when there is no crowd. I'll have to hold his hand and walk slowly the whole time.

    More and more, I just want to stay home, as I'm sure many of you can relate. I know some of you have mentioned that there are unisex or "family" bathrooms in some places, but certainly not in concert halls, and the lines! If it happens, it'll just have to wait until we get home. I'm not looking forward to this. I wish I had sold the tickets.

    Sorry for the downer. I just want to hole up at home, not a good attitude with 3 young kids to entertain. (Two of them have been spending most of the summer at my sisters' while I work, something I feel guilty about even though they have a great time. They don't see much of me these days.)

    Ok, I'm done venting. I just hope things work out ok tonight. It'll likely be our last concert. I still remember our first one together. Things were so different then.

    Kelly
    • CommentAuthorMya
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    Kelly,

    This is so hard on you. Think positive. Expect everything to go right but have a plan. Does hubby usually have a bm at the same time each day?? Maybe you can rest at ease if it isn't usually at the time you will be at the concert. I hope all goes well and you can enjoy yourself.

    hugs,
    mya
  1.  
    Take some cologne with you in your purse....also a small spray bottle of Fabreeze. That way you won't have to worry about odors. Also, wait to eat until you get to the concert. That might help as well. Just some suggestions.
    • CommentAuthorMawzy*
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    Will Fabreeze take care of those odors? I'm getting some of that the next time I go to the store. We don'thave the problem yet, but I like to be prepared.. Also, no food after about 2 pm. My doctor told me that most 'animals' have a BM with 1-2 hours after they eat. Humans are trained to go at the same time every day. Maybe as our LOs lose cognition, they revert to babies who have BM's shortly after they eat. Worth a try.

    I wonder if there's any way to figure out when DH is likely to have a BM and plan bathroom breaks around them. That's the way I toilet trained my kids. Maybe it's work. worth a try.

    Best of luck. Enjoy the concert.
    • CommentAuthorMya
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    Speaking of odors...someone suggested a product to me that I have been using. The name is XO. It works great. I ordered it on line and have since found a store that sells it. Kind of pricey but well worth it. Works great for the dogs too. Nothing worse than a wet smelly dog..ok well maybe hubby has that beat.

    hugs,
    mya
    • CommentAuthorSunshyne
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    Mawzy, I've seen comments from posters on "the other site" that Fabreeze does NOT work well.

    There was a discussion on Spouse about ways to get rid of unwanted odors (of a personal nature) on the thread:

    You've got to be kidding!

    Much of the relevant stuff is on the second page.
  2.  
    Kelly, I can't imagine you are going to enjoy yourself....you will be worrying about all the what ifs.....My suggestion is to find someone to stay with your husband and go with a friend. Believe me, Febreeze and a squirt of cologne are not going to take care of the smell of a full grown man who has filled his pants. I think when bowel incontinence takes over it is time to avoid crowds and bathrooms that are not handicapped friendly.

    I know this sounds harsh and insensitive, but it is what it is......plus, you deserve to be able to enjoy yourself without worrying about changing dirty pants.

    I wish you (all of you actually) didn't have to deal with this....big hugs......
    • CommentAuthorMawzy*
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    Actually that site is on page 8 toward the bottom. I LOL when I read about someone's DH peeing on the cat. She said the cat was 'pissed off.' Is that funny or what? I'm still laughing about it. Some of the people on this site have a wicked sense of humor.
    • CommentAuthorSunshyne
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    ...I meant the posts on the second page of the thread itself. Didn't mean to confuse you ... but at least you found it.
    • CommentAuthorkathi37*
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    Mawzy...but isn't that what makes it so special ,besides the obvious?
    • CommentAuthorMawzy*
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    Absolutely! Makes me feel like a detective--maybe Jessica Fletcher?
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    i dont have a clue how that got changed to the 'cat ' getting peed on! hahah..i said in the prior post my DH peed on my Chihuahua while she was on her 'special' rug doing her own thing!! haha.. it got screwed up but was funny as is.

    Kelly, give your DH 2 immodium! before you go...i always give mine between 1-2 pills a few hrs before going out somewhere, just to be sure.
    its bettr than nothing but its been working well for us. divvi
    i hate to see you cancel going, just go if you need to you can always leave.
    • CommentAuthorMawzy*
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2008
     
    Oh, yes. Do go. Don't let this crummy disease issolate you any more than it already has. I'm putting my money on the Immodium and not eating for several hours before the concert. Let us know how it all works out.
  3.  
    DW and I have previously loved to go to plays, etc. at our local theater. The last time we went she wanted to leave at intermission, saying that no one told her it would be so long (it was the usual length). Thus I have stopped getting tickets except to things I know she will enjoy such as Gilbert and Sullivan (she knows all the shows). Last spring we went to a presentation at a local church by a man who had toured Celtic areas. Since DW is almost pure Celtic, I thought she would enjoy it. He had trouble with the projector, and she wanted to walk out before he got very far into the show. Our not going has nothing to do with incontinence, since I can still send her to public restrooms. It has to do with her attention span.
    • CommentAuthorKadee*
    • CommentTimeAug 16th 2008
     
    Kelly, I have been thinking of you. Did everything go okay at the concert?
    • CommentAuthorMawzy*
    • CommentTimeAug 17th 2008
     
    I can't help but remember that terrible old joke---"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

    Asking the same question as Kadee, did everything go okay at the concert? I'm certainly hoping so.Please let us know.