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    Jazzy, is everything ok? We have not heard from you in a while.

    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2017
    I have noticed Jazzy's absence, too. These days, my mind goes to dark thoughts so I hope my worries are unfounded. Jazzy, I hope you are OK.
    • CommentAuthorcassie*
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2017 edited
    Hello from me too, Jazzy. I do hope that you have recovered from your illness and that things are ok with Kevan.
    Hello, Jazzy. I hope you are OK.
    • CommentAuthorJazzy
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2017
    I'm fine thank you!

    1. Finances now under my control

    2. DH progressing but very slow

    3. Trying to build life away from dementia

    4. Good support group now

    5. As I don't live in your country I can't offer any advise about residences or finances so no point commenting.
    Jazzy, I'm sure glad to hear that you are well. I have to say that I really miss your discussions. You always opened up your heart to us. Thanks for responding back to us.

    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2017
    Whew! Jazzy, when you get to be as old and beat up as I am, you start to panic when someone disappears! I'm so glad that you are starting to build a life away from dementia.
    • CommentAuthorJazzy
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2017 edited
    I think you are mistaken as to who is older. I think I am much older. 69 is young to me.
    • CommentAuthorMim
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2017
    Jazzy, glad you're okay. I personally don't think what country any of us live in is important, the emotional part is still the same. I can understand, however wanting to try living without AD twenty four hours a day!
    • CommentAuthorJazzy
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2017
    My DH has bv fronto, vascular and alzheimers. It's been 17 years of living with dementia with three and a half where he was in LTC. I'm tired and now that he is starting to progress he is much easier then ever to deal with so I now have time for me. I do everything that I can for him and take him out as much as I can. I just can't do for others anymore so I don't come here much anymore.
    This site is now mostly widows and widowers visiting and I am not one yet so I just read and don't post.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou*
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2017
    Jazzy, you are a survivor - 19 years into fronto, vascular and AD. I can't imagine. People in my life are telling me that I am presenting as tired (some say exhausted). And I am only 6 years into this disease! So very glad you are able now to build a life apart from dementia. That is wonderful. The life I am building away from dementia is what is keeping me sane. That and the support of caring people. My prayers and best wishes follow you. And keep us updated as you wish and are able.
    Jazzy, I joined this site in 2008. In 1998, my DH experienced an illness that left him "just not himself." Although he has not been diagnosed, only because it is not important to me to push for it, his doctor believes it is FTD/Picks. We are progressing very slowly and his major symptoms are mood, aggression, adgitation, very-short-term memory loss, loss of executive function. The mood and aggression are the worst but are decreasing with time.

    So, Jazzy, I too have been dealing with this for a long time. Your recent input on this site has been very important to me. Please remember that there are many of us out here who have found your comments quite useful.

    I will not bug you anymore about staying active. However, I want you to know that you have been quite important to me. Thank you for all of your discussions and I wish you well.

    • CommentAuthorJazzy
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2017

    FTD/picks is also FTD with behavioural variant. Your guy sounds like mine. Slow moving. He was very agitated and agressive until a few months ago but he has now settled down. He gets very tired and just wants to be left alone. He wants me very close now as before it was get out of my face type of behaviour towards me. Executive functions and empathy gone but atleast the anger is gone. He now wants to be held and cuddled.

    Thanks Mary. I will watch for you. I also need to hear from you as I don't feel so alone after hearing your journey.

    Jazzy, DH and I are both in our early 60s. There are two things that are very hard for me to handle. The first is not knowing when DH will get angry, and not knowing what will trigger the anger. The second is when things are going pretty smoothly and I "let my guard down." I get used to the calmness and start relating to the old DH. Then, for no reason at all, the new DH is back and quite angry about something. If I can stay hardened, I can deal better. But if I soften during the calm times, then I have a really hard time adjusting again.

    I don't post too much. But I read almost every day. Sometimes I learn new ways to handle DH (many were from your discussions), and I also find that I am not alone.

    Thank you, I really do appreciate visiting with you.

    • CommentAuthorJazzy
    • CommentTimeApr 21st 2017
    I know what you mean. One minute you have this sweet man you have known for years and the next a raving being that you no longer recognize. My guy has been like that for years but now has gone back to that nice guy I married with OCD bahaviour and me memory loss and confusion. One minute he will not want to do something and the next he is a excited and wanting to do that again. I never know who I will see from day to day.
    Because he is in LTC I now only do short outings visit two or three time a week to try to make sure he attends the daily activities that he needs for stimulation but I get emails and calls often. Most things I just pass on to his nurse and try to handle what I can.
    Is your DH ready for placement?
    I try to maintain a certain behaviour towards him all the time as it protects me and my heart. Just remember that it is the disease and not him, he still need to feel your love and concern for him while protecting youreself as well. Try to live day to day.
    When he was first diagnosed I read a very good book that really helped me, it is by Pauline Boss called " loving someone who has dementia". I still go back and re read it often just to help me to remember that it is not him but the disease and how to cope.
    I hope I have been of some help to you today and not spun you around.
    A sermon that was given at my DH's LTC last Sunday said" Live for today as it is a new start to your life. Leave the past in the past." I guess he meant for us to try to forget all the bad things we are going through right now and begin each day anew. Hard to do? I guess so but possible? Yes!

    Hugs Jazzy
    • CommentAuthorRona
    • CommentTimeApr 21st 2017
    Yes possible Jazzy. Lisa has always been a gentle person but have had a couple of violent outbursts in last couple of months the latest about a week ago. She wonders around looking for me last week she got upset picked up a Bench threw it against the wall then started pounding on the windows. Very upsetting. I was away for a couple of days when I got back they had a one on one aide with her, she is fine when somebody with her. Happy with the response of providing an aide to be with her full time but that is not sustainable. The facility is not allowed to restrain in any way so I know if this became an ongoing problem she may could end up in the hospital. Not good. A dilemma do not want her over medicated to control the anxiety but also do not want her living in fear being anxious then becoming aggressive.