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Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

    • CommentAuthorOnewife
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2017
     
    A bunch of emotions and exhaustion like I never felt before in my 58 years. Dh was released from hospital and driven right over to facility. My son and sil handled the transfer and I met them 2 hrs later. Poor Dh I don't think he realizes where he is , nor could he verbalize what he wants. I went this morning and I was told he woke in middle of night and walked the corridor with a aid. I was surprised the facility placed him as same level of care he was assessed at a month ago. I see such a loss of skills ... falling, can barely eat or drink on his own, needs more assistance w dressing. He will be assessed again in 30 days and every 90 days after that. They have requested we keep him on his floor and not take him out of the building for 30 days allowing him to acclimate to new surroundings. Rehab assessment was done today so hopefully we get that started. As a family we are going to visit often and at different times. What can I expect in the next 90 days? After the hospital fiasco Forewarned is forarmed.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2017
     
    Hi Onewife, It's hard to say what to expect without knowing what kind of facility this is. You called it "memory care," but I think that just means a unit with specialized services and activities for people with dementia. Is it an assisted living situation here he has his own room or is it more like a nursing home, where he gets a lot more help? Or does it have a range of living situations?
    • CommentAuthorOnewife
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2017
     
    Myrtle it is a secure memory care unit, not assisted, nor is it a nursing home. You are assigned a level of care during on site assessment and level of care dictates price. As your care level goes up so does the cost, when needed you can bring in hospice. My Dh seems so much worse than the other residents on his floor. I wonder if my second guessing my decision is typicall.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2017
     
    That sounds like the kind of unit my husband was in. (Except the price was the same for everyone since it was a state veterans' facility.) There was a broad range of people there, from "you'd hardly notice anything was wrong" to "almost completely out of it." My advice would be to stop second-guessing yourself and allow the nursing staff to get to know him and for him to get to know them. The poor guy just had a traumatic experience (as did you!) and is in a new environment, so he's surely not at his best. I agree about the visiting strategy. When my husband was admitted, I visited often and made it a point to act calm, confident, and cheerful. I wanted him to feel that everything was under control and that he could relax and enjoy the activities. Although it was hard for him at first, he adapted quickly and made friends with some of the other men. I hope your husband does the same.
    • CommentAuthorSass
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2017
     
    Onewife
    I hope that he acclimates well and finds comfort in the assistance that they will give him. I think time will tell. The fact that he needs more help may help him accept it better since people are there to help him do what he can't. I agree with myrtle that it will take a little time for both he and the staff to get to know one another. My circumstance was quite different as my husband was, at the time of placement, still very physically fit. It was his cognitive abilities that had really declined and he had a lot of difficulty communicating. He was physically able to push back, both literally and figuratively. That doesn't sound like that will be an issue for you. Luckily, the ALF where my husband is pays close attention to his behavior, moods, cognitive decline and physical decline. They have direct lines to an Internist and Psychologist to discuss those changes and adjust medicines where necessary. That was especially helpful during his transition and adjustment period. That was something that I could have never been able to deal with on my own and with that kind of immediacy. While we all second guess ourselves when we have to make this critical decision to place our loved one, its only natural, you should feel confident that you are doing what's best for him. I hope it all works out well.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTimeMay 13th 2017
     
    Onewife, How are you and your husband doing. I know this is a tough time for you. Been thinking about you a lot.
    • CommentAuthorJan K
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2017
     
    Onewife, How are you doing? If you need to talk, we're here for you.
    • CommentAuthorMim
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2017
     
    Yes, Onewife, it's been a little while since your post was placed. How is it going for you & your hubby? I know it's an adjustment for both of you...hope that's it's working out.
    • CommentAuthorOnewife
    • CommentTimeMay 27th 2017
     
    Today is Dh 60th birthday. He has been in facility for over a month. He is now incontinent of bowel and bladder. Has lost more weight, he is so thin. He has no appetite, even if I bring ice cream or a yogurt he will only take a couple bites. He walks non stop with his head down, walking into walls & people. The facility has called me 3 times about his falling. It is impossible to get him to sit so when I'm with him we walk together. The rehab was unsuccessful he was unable to comprehend the directions and physically unable to participate. The director of his floor has suggested we bring in hospice. She told me she suspected Dh could possibly be in pain. Dh and I met with hospice yesterday Hospice felt he would qualify. I held off signing until I can decide to take facility dr or hospice dr. Does anybody have any advice or experience to share? The facility is only 2 yrs old so it is fresh n clean. The staff is amazing and Dh has someone nearly everyday visit him. For a horrible situation it's our best option.
    • CommentAuthorBev*
    • CommentTimeMay 29th 2017
     
    One wife, my husband was in a nursing home for 2-1/2 years. When it was time for him to go in hospice we used the facility doctor, since he is the one who had been taking care of him in the home. We stopped going to his primary a while before. The hospice had wonderful nurses and aides, who worked in tandem with the aides in the nursing home. They were wonderful.

    Recently, the hospice had a memorial service for those who had passed in the last year. It was absolutely beautiful. So