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    • CommentAuthorJennifer
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2017 edited
    Hi I am new to the website. Not sure if I even should be here as my husband has not been diagnosed yet. Alzheimers runs in his family, his mother died of it and his brother (73) is currently in a memory center. My hd has been annoying me about my memory for months because I use cannabis to keep my two cancers NED. Sometimes lately he just get angry/upset/nasty about my memory. I feel I have no memory problem. I recently took a brain quiz on FB to see at what level my mind was at. Mine was "college level" although I never went to college except for occasional classes. He just picks on me for something and before I know it we are fighting. But it usually as something to do with my not listening to him, "everybody" not listening to him. A couple of years ago while we decided to a buy a house with my daughter and her family, I noticed a "disconnect" from hb and our relationship. Very subtle. He says he want to go to counselling because of this "disconnect" in our relationship. Could it be that HE is feeling a disconnect and that is why he all over me criticizing me constantly? I notice that about 4 to 5 p.m. he needs to take a Vicodin and a Prozac in order to be sociable -- otherwise, he is just nasty and grumpy. My hd also has stopped watching a lot of tv with me, unless it's space related or science related. I have a feeling he can't follow a lot of sitcoms or movies with so many relationships. Could this be the beginning of Alzheimers? Mostly I notice the disconnect with us in our relationship. He also sleeps an extraordinary amount of time each day with evenings turning into the next afternoon, etc. We love each other and are usually very good friends. Does this sound like the beginning of Alzheimer's?
    • CommentAuthorxox
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2017
    Welcome to our club. It is common to suspect problems years before a dementia dx is made. Given his family history sounds like you are in the right place, though I will leave it to someone with authority here to say yeh or nay.

    It is common with Alz to notice behavioral changes before noticing memory changes. And it is common for someone with dementia to accuse their spouse of having dementia. So behavioral problems and lack of energy are troubling signs. Please make sure you have Power of Attorney, Durable Power of Attorney and Medical Power of Attorney all set up for him (these are 3 distinct different documents with different purposes).
    I've been thinking about this while outside walking the dog. Like many here, I knew something was wrong years before the diagnosis was made--and while others were always saying that he seemed fine. (No, he wasn't fine.) Thinking back, these were the things I noticed: He would still sit at the dinner table with friends or family and tell his stories--certain "old reliables" that I had heard for years--but he was not telling them as well as he used to--seemed to me that he was just getting less organized, more "blabby", less on point. It wasn't bad enough that anybody noticed except me. Another thing he started to do was to work out in our yard and mess things up--cut down too much, or the wrong things. I might put in some new perennial plantings and go out after work to find he had cut them down, with wide-eyed innocent comments like, "Oh, I didn't realize." "Oh, they looked messy." "Oh, they were in the way of the mower." And he started to hurt himself with his riding mower--burning his leg on something hot that he, I guess, forgot he shouldn't touch with his leg. He got a nasty cut on his finger one time, too, working with tools in an unsafe manner. He also started mowing the neighbors' yards when he did ours. They had perfectly good arrangements for caring for their yards, and he didn't seem to realize that this was not helpful, and probably annoying. Another thing that I recognize now as an early sign was the changes in the way he handled the bills. Instead of paying them when they came in or, let's say, a week or five days before the due date, he would say he wanted to "enjoy the float." He thought that it would be financially advantageous to let the bills go into second notices, thus keeping our money in our accounts longer, and accruing more interest. I mean, I realize you don't have to pay the bills early, but Good Lord, you do have to Pay Them. Another thing I started to notice a lot was that he lost all flexibility or ability to learn anything new, do anything new, or be interested in anything new or different. Everything thing we did had to be exactly the same routine, constantly, day after day, week after week. Others could just explain this by saying he was getting older and "set in his ways", but it was way more than that...he was clinging desperately to what he understood and could handle, because the Alzheimers was encroaching and he just could not comprehend anything new or different. It was very slow and very subtle over a period of fourteen years--and we still had many good times in the earlier years-- but if you knew him as well as I did and spent a great deal of time together, as we did, it was clear that something was going on.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2017
    Jennifer, I would hate to see you enter the sad world of Alzheimer's based on such uncertain evidence. If you go onto the Alzheimer Association website at, you will see a list of "10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer's" with examples of each behavior. The warning signs are: Memory loss that disrupts daily life, Challenges in planning or solving problems, Difficulty finishing familiar tasks, Confusion with time or place, Trouble understanding visual images or spatial relationships, New problems with speaking or writing words, Losing things and unable to retrace steps, Decreased or poor judgment, Withdrawal from work or social activities, Changes in mood and personality.

    Your list of your husband's symptoms describes only one of these signs: "Changes in mood and personality." That does not mean your husband does not have Alzheimer's but it could mean that his mood and personality changes are attributable to some other condition. The fact that two of his family members had Alzheimer's does not mean he has it, although it does increase his risk of getting it. Also, you need to rule out other possible causes of his behavior and of the "disconnect" in your relationship. These possible causes include the side-effects the Vicodin he uses to elevate his mood, and of the marijuana you use to keep your cancer from coming back.

    Why not agree to the marriage counseling he wants but only if he gets a physical examination first? You can explain to his doctor in advance that you fear he might have dementia and the doctor can decide how far to go with cognitive testing. You can even offer to get an exam yourself, so you can show him you don't have the disease. That way, you might learn the actual cause of what is going on, whether it is Alzheimer's or something else entirely.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2017
    I agree - he needs a good physical exam to rule out other causes. That can be a condition for counseling or in conjunction with counseling. There is a condition of brain fog after cancer treatment - we have a lady here that just went through it. Also, all drugs can have side effects and you need to rule out the cannibas is not causing short term memory problems for you (you might already have done this). Ruling out every other possibility is the best way to go.

    When my husband first showed changes it was after he was verbally abused by the managers of an RV park we were working at. We left there and went back to our home base.. He had been using a table saw, almost cut his finger off but didn't really realize what he had done. What finally sent him to the doctor was me being tired of repeating things. At first I called it selective hearing but before we hit the road I wanted him checked out. His doctor sent him for a neuropsych workup where the diagnosis came back dementia of the Alzheimer type even though he was showing no signs but it was based on family history. He did not start having short term memory problems that were noticeable for another couple years.

    There are many medical conditions that can cause dementia symptoms including his medications. Viocadon is for pain not moods.What pain is he taking it for? Prozac is and should be taken at the same time every daily, not when needed. If he agrees to see his doctor I would send the doctor a list of what you notice to help the doctor decide how to proceed.