I find it hard to find happiness in most places these days and like Lindylou I cry so much now, but just maybe this new year will bring some to some of us.
I live in Canada and this is our 150 anniversary. There will be many activities to attend and I am hoping to get out to some.
I really had a good time at the lodge this year and I want to wish each of you a very Happy New Year.
Here is a link to something Kim Campbell said about the new year. I will copy and paste but wanted to list the page too. Gives me food for thought. Don't know if I can live in the moment and not mourn what will never be, but I do think I do it most of the time subconsciously but will try to do it more.
December 30, 2016 by Kim Campbell For people with dementia, every day is the same. They don’t know what day of the week it is, what month it is, if it’s their birthday or a holiday. There’s a unique peace to not being burdened with the pressures of time passing. Maybe caregivers can learn from this unexpected advantage.
We should make the most of each day – but maybe not too much of it.
We know that milestones are passing, but does it matter? Should we become depressed or stressed out about spending another birthday or holiday alone – or can we learn from those that we are caring for by accepting each moment for what it is – just a moment – for better or worse.
When we moved to Nashville in December of 2013, TK Kimbrell (who manages Glen’s legacy) and his wife Laura invited us to Richland Country Club for New Year’s Eve dinner and dancing. Glen looked great and was able to greet people with a smile and a hand shake, even though he was entering stage six of Alzheimer’s. He simply enjoyed being with his family and friends.
As the night began to wind down, Ashley walked up to her father and escorted him to the dance floor for a father daughter dance. Their sweet dance brought tears to the eyes of everyone watching, but especially for me, because I knew that this dance would likely substitute for the one she might have at her own wedding someday.
When the countdown to New Years began, I held Glen’s hand. When the clock struck 12, we shared a midnight kiss. The kiss was bittersweet for me because I was marking a milestone, trying hard to savor and mark a moment, but Glen was just there – having a wonderful time, meeting new people, sharing a dance and enjoying a kiss while people cheered all around him. He was having a great night. He didn’t feel the same sadness that I did, and I was almost jealous of him in that moment.
The truth is that none of us are promised a tomorrow and every day is a gift from above. Let’s make the most of every moment – but not too much of it.
Charlotte, thank you for giving us this message from Kim Campbell. I find peace in her message and will try to remember this as I go through each day. When my DH was initially placed 3.5 years ago I felt peaceful and content to visit him every day but now I'm just sad and lonely. He is in stage 7 now and though he probably knows me at some point during out visit, it doesn't make much difference to him or me. I just watch him inexorably deteriorate and it breaks my heart over and over. I'll try to remember her message that each day is a gift from above - and cling to that thought.